Captain N 2006

by Sigmasonic X

Nine years after the disappearence of the first Game Master, Kevin Keene, a guy named Jon Jones is sucked into his Gamecube and becomes the newest Game Master. Minichapter 2 has been updated with an important note.

3. Time For Crime Force! DX Version 2

The symbol "&" will show the thoughts of characters.

"-I" will act as a section break.

"-" has replaced all astericks, which do not show up here.

Jon woke up to knocking. Really loud knocking. He yelled for whoever was doing it to stop, but it didn't. Grumbling, he got up and opened the door. No one was there. Jon then attempted to go back to sleep, but he found that the sun didn't like him, as it suddenly gained an angry face, whirled around a few times, dived through the window, knocked Jon out of bed, and crashed through the ceiling back to it's original position. Jon was shocked, which goes without saying, but he ultimately decided that he should get out of the room before the Angry Sun came back. He looked in Link and Mega Man's rooms, but no one was there. Shrugging, he went back into his room and warped to the kitchen. He would ask about the Angry Sun after some breakfast. However, when he opened the fridge, instead of some food, there was a giant talking mushroom.

"Game Master, didn't you get the message?" asked Toad.

"What message?"

"Check your Game Boy Advance! You should have gotten an e-mail!" Toad yelled.

"First it can play games, then it can hold items, and now it can receive e-mails?"

"It also has access to your world's Internet along with a link cable to access this world's Internet, once you get a net-navi."

"Okay, let's see."

Help, N-Team, there is a huge army of Robot Masters stationed right outside of the castle! We need assistance immediately!

Signed, Waddle Dee Commander of Division 3.

Dated Yesterday at 6:00

"What the! Why didn't you tell me about this yesterday! So this is why no one was here before!"

"I couldn't find you."

"Couldn't find me? I was eating dinner with you at 7!"

"... Oh, right. My mistake. Well... you didn't have to eat dinner!"

"So, is the battle still going on?"

"Yeah, but everyone was knocked out or killed! Thankfully, the only Robot Master left is Toad Man, so GO GET HIM!" Toad then threw a Warp Capsule into Jon's face.

"But Toad, my controller is still in my room! And what's with the Angry Sun!" said Jon as the capsule exploded and he was sent outside.

Now Loading...

LEVEL THREE: Time For Crime Force!

Because Magic And Crayons Do Not Mix...

Jon looked around to see tons of unconscious bodies, including Link and Mega Man's, along with Robot Master parts. However, in this stillness, he saw something move.

"Toad Man's Theme"

"CROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAK Wily will be so proud of me! Now to get inside the castle, tentacle rape all of the girls with my tongue, and claim the castle in the name of Wily ribbit!" Toad Man said as he hopped toward the castle and spontaneously started posing as the robot master jingle boomed out of speakers on his sides.

"&Toad Man, huh? Even without my gun and controller, this should be easy! I'll just steal a weapon from someone, attack Toad Man while he tries to do the Rain Flush, and I'll kill him in no time&!" Jon thought. He went up to Link and tried to take the Master Sword, but as soon as he touched it, electricity shot out from it and the force sent Jon rocketing into Toad Man. "&XX Gah... I should have guessed that only Link can use the Master Sword&."

End "Toad Man's Theme"

READY!

"Mega Man 4 Boss Theme"

"CROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAK That hurt!" Toad Man yelled.

"&You know, I seem to have a strange tendency to meet up with people with speaking disabilities&," Jon pointed out to himself.

"For crashing into me, ribbit, I shall tentacle rape j00!" Toad Man said as he started powering up the Rain Flush by dancing.

"Wait, I thought you were going to rape me."

"CROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAK I am!" Toad Man said as he continued powering up/dancing.

"Sorry, but I don't see the connection between acid rain and tentacle rape."

"You'll see soon enough, ribbit."

Jon then walked up to Toad Man and kicked him with his weak nerdy legs.

"CROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK You made me mess up! Now I have to start all over again, ribbit!"

"&This should give me enough time to find another weapon&," Jon thought as he looked around and grabbed a spear one of the Waddle Dees was holding. He yelled, "HaHA!" as he thrust the spear into Toad Man's body, only to have the weapon fall apart.

"CROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK You made me mess up! Now I have to start all over again, ribbit!"

"&Not only does everyone here have speech impediments, but they repeat themselves, too&!" Jon thought as he tapped Toad Man's forehead.

"CROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK You made me mess up! Now I have to start all over again, ribbit!"

Jon looked around for a weapon that would actually do some damage when he suddenly remembered something.

"CROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAK That hurt!" Jon remembered Toad Man saying after he crashed into him. Thus, Jon walked up to Link and tried to steal the Master Sword again, causing him to, yet again, rocket into the Robot Master, causing quite a large dent. He did this one more time, but he then he decided that it hurt too much, so he decided to look for a different weapon. He soon found that he had trouble moving around and tried to lean on a rock so he could recover, but it turned out that he accidentally missed and instead grabbed onto the Master Sword again, causing him to crash into Toad Man just as the Rain Flush started. Out of irony, he was standing right next to a super shotgun as he leaned against the sword again. Toad Man shattered into several metaorbs and only a few drops came from the cloud formed by the Rain Flush, none of which hit anything important.

"XX," Jon said as he was knocked out.

"Mega Man 4 Boss Theme"

NO ONE WINS! YOU GOTTEN... NOTHING!

-I

-I

"Wily!" yelled Mother Brain in her deep mechanical voice as her single eye flashed open.

"What about me ;;?" asked King Hippo, who somehow got onto the ship.

"And me ;;?" also asked Eggplant Wizard.

The giant brain simply ignored them.

"Yes, Mother Brain?" asked Dr. Wily, who ran over with Bass and Treble.

"Why did you attack the castle again?" Mother Brain asked in an angry voice.

"I thought I could make up for not getting the cartridge by trying again," answered Wily.

"Idiot! The King would have moved it to a safer location by now! You shall be punished for your stupidity!" Mother Brain said as she shot a huge laser blast at him. However, Wily stepped out of the way... yeah.

"Sorry, but I don't feel like getting punished," responded Wily.

"WHAT! HOW DARE YOU REFUSE A DIRECT ORDER!" Mother Brain said in the exact same tone and volume as before, but you could tell she was angry due to her angry eye.

"Heh, the most complex biological computer in all of Nintendo doesn't remember one of the events she scheduled. Today's our day off!" exclaimed Bass as he pulled out a calendar as held it up to Mother Brain's jar.

"What! A day off! I don't remember scheduling this!" Mother Brain yelled in vain, as Treble transformed into a jet, which Wily and Bass jumped on, flew into Wily's UFO, which then shot off somewhere.

"Ooh! Ooh! Can we go?" yelled Eggplant Wizard as he raised his hand.

"Of course you can go! You don't even work for me!"

"No, what EG means is, can we go to that planet you were just talking about!" yelled King Hippo.

"I wasn't talking about a planet!"

"No, we mean that planet that wasn't paying its protection fee! I think it was called Yavin XV or something," said Eggplant Wizard.

"Why would I send you there! The only time you even bother to 'help' is at the most inappropriate times, like last time when you turned Smithy, from the Seven Star incident in the Mushroom Kingdom into an eggplant just because his beard was 'big and scary'! Besides, that was already taken care of weeks ago, so why are you bringing it up NOW!

"... Can we still go there?"

"So you want to go to a depressing, cold mining planet where everyone is in poverty?"

"Of course! Beating up poor people is fun!"

"Especially when they're tired and old!" added King Hippo. "I like to go up to old poor people on the street and give them the old one-two, and they're all like, 'Huh? Who are you! Why are you attacking me? HELP, POLICE!' but I'm all like beating the crap out of him and the police and the old poor guy and him and the police, plus the old guy, at the same time and I like do a pile driver on him and he's all like, "AAAAAAHHHHHHH! MY SPLEEN!" and this pisses me off and I yell, "You should be thankful that you had a spleen in the first place!" and I go all berserk on him while crying tears of anger, then he punches me in the bandage that covers the place I have food injected into my stomach in, and you know, it hurts and stuff, but I keep going, and right before I make the final hit, he's all like, 'Please, I have a family that I have to support!' but I'm all like, 'My family can beat up your family any day of the week!' and I smash his head in, and then I have EP turn him into an eggplant and I eat him."

"...Space Pirates, take them away!"

A group of Flying Space Pirates appeared, grabbed the two idiots, and tossed them into an old, run-down spaceship. The ship then shot off to some random planet, the Space Pirates didn't care which. The region-warp on the ship also activated, sending them to a different region.

-I

-I

"Ugh... don't tell me I was knocked out again!" exclaimed Jon as he slowly awoke in Dr. Mario's office. At this point, he noticed that Toad was slowing approaching him with club, and thus burst out of the office.

Jon wasn't sure, but he thought he heard Toad say, "I'm gonna shove that 'again' up your wang!"

Suddenly, a message appeared in front of the still running Jon.

"To complete this minigame, you must find Dr. Mario somewhere in the castle and get to him before Toad reaches you! If you are caught by Toad, you will be knocked out and you have to start over again!" the message said.

"This is a minigame o0! I didn't agree to this!" yelled Jon.

"When you first appeared, you signed a document stating that you automatically accept any minigame challenges given to you by Dr. Mario, Toad, or King Game and Watch," the message replied as the text changed.

"When I first appeared! But I was unconscious then!"

"...And? By the way, it'd probably be a good idea to speed up." Right after this appeared, Toad conked Jon on the head.

Suddenly, Jon woke up. "Ugh... What the hell was that o0?" Jon then noticed that Toad once again approached him with a club, so Jon, again, ran out of the room, though the hallways, searching for any sign of a moustache, when he passed Link.

"Game Master? Why are you running?" he asked as he ran after the Game Master.

"Toad's -pant- chasing me and I have to find Dr. Mario -pant-! Have you seen him!"

"Dr. Mario? Did you check his office?"

"His office! But -pant- that's where I started out!"

Link then smacked Jon on the back of his head. "Didn't you look behind you!"

"Look -pant- behind me! But... wait, I have to rest a bit...," Jon said panting as he leaned against a wall.

"You're tired already!" Link asked like getting tired due to running was against all logic. Suddenly, Toad smashed Jon on the head again.

Later, Jon became conscious again and once again saw Toad walking toward him with a club. The Game Master was about to run, but he remembered what Link said and looked behind the table he was on. "&There's nothing here but a closet... Wait&!" Jon thought as he opened the closet and... the dead body of Dr. Mario fell on him. "o0"

MINIGAME COMPLETED! YOU GOTTEN... DR. MARIO'S SOUL!

"o0 W... T... F!" Jon said as the soul went into Dr. Mario and he came back to life.

"Mama-mia, you've-a completed the-a minigame!" the now alive Dr. Mario said as he got up.

"... Yeah, I know that, thanks to the giant pop-up screen. Now is there any reason Toad killed you? Wait... is Toad still behind me?"

"No, he-a walked out of-a my field of vision-a," answered the doctor, "and-a Toad killed-a me so we could-a conduct an experiment on-a you-a. According to-a Link, during-a your battle-a with Metaknight, you had a very hard time, so we-a tested your-a endurance, along-a with other-a stuff, and-a it seems that your-a transition from-a the Real-a World to-a this-a one was-a very incomplete, much-a like Kevin. Basically-a, when you-a came to Nintendo-a, instead of fully adapting to-a our physics, you-a still retained some of-a the Real-a World's physics!"

"Is that much of a problem? Kevin Keene seemed to do okay. ...Wait, if Real World physics still apply to me, than how did I survive that fall in Dreamland?"

"I-a said only some Real-a World properties remain, and it seems that you were, in fact, the most heavily wounded of everyone there! Also-a, it was a-a much simpler time when-a Kevin was-a here, and-a you could easily-a get by with just-a a weapon, but-a times have-a changed. There are-a many more worlds-a, and no worlds as-a 'strange and random-a' as Dreamland and other-a worlds existed when-a Kevin was here, so yes-a, it is-a a very big problem-a."

"Is there anything you can do about it?"

"Well, I can't-a do anything myself-a, but-a my cousin, Mario Mario-a, knows someone who can. I'll-a write down the directions and-a set up an-a appointment-a."

Doctor gave Jon the directions. "By the way," the Game Master asked, "is there any reason there's an Angry Sun knocking me out of bed?"

"Toad thought-a you were-a sleeping too much, and he was-a too-a lazy to-a get an-a alarm clock, so he-a had Mr. Chavéz, the-a look-out, wake you-a up."

"That's his name?"

"Yes-a, Mr. Rico Chavéz. Angry Suns have names too."

"So all monsters have names?"

"...Yes-a, of course they-a do! What makes you-a think otherwise?"

"...Huh...," Jon said in a I-didn't-know-that-voice.

-I

-I

"So Wily, this is the first day off you've had since Mother Brain rehired you. What are you going to do?" asked Bass as Wily's spaceship flew through space to Mega Man's section of Nintendo.

"Eh, I think I'll just relax, stay home, and eat chips," Wily answered.

"You know, once Nightmare recovers, he's probably going to get you for giving him faulty Robot Masters."

"Hey, is it my fault that the Poppy Men accidentally jumped off the ship? Oh, and we're only a few miles away from the Skull Fortress!"

After landing, Wily, Bass, and Treble stepped out into the desert. The Skull Fortress looked like any other, with the purple main tower having a large white skull and two secondary towers to its sides, the one on the left being larger. They came up to the entrance only to find a government agent right in front of it.

"What! Who are you!" exclaimed Wily.

"I am FBI Agent Victor Von Killdeath," Killdeath said as he pulled out his badge. "Are you Dr. Albert Wily?"

"Uhhh... Yes. Why are you here? Did I do something wrong?" Wily had deleted all mentions of the Robot Rebellions from every one of his government profiles, so no one would think he was evil, so he could buy stuff... and stuff like that. Strange way of thinking, but it apparently worked.

"Apparently, you haven't been paying the lease for this umm... Skull Fortress lately, for an year, really, so we are repossessing this property."

"WHAT! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"You know, maybe you should have been directing our income from our job with that giant brain to this little problem instead of imported pocky," Bass suggested.

"But it's so good ;;"

"Don't worry, there are TONS of vacant apartments nowadays, I'm sure you can find one," Victor said.

"Wait, why did they send an FBI agent to tell me this?"

Killdeath shrugged.

"Anyway, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL OF MY ROBOTS!"

"These are your robots? They remind me of the ones that attacked the world over the years. One of them killed my parents."

"Uhhhhh... I can explain..."

"You collect them, don't you?"

"Uhhhhh... YEAH! The one that keeps attacking is my evil twin brother, and when the great Mega Man defeats his robots, I retrieve them and reprogram them for good... yeah... Anyway, again, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM!"

"You figure that out yourself, I'm just an FBI agent that has so few people's respect that they send me to do stuff like this," Agent Victor Von Killdeath said as he ran into his car crying and drove away.

"He's not going to gain anyone's respect by doing that," Wily said.

"I don't suppose you had anything planned for this, did you Wily?" said Bass.

"Wait... I think I know what to do with all of the Robot Masters!" Wily exclaimed. He then called all of the Robot Masters outside and explained the situation.

"... However, it seems that there are WAY too many of you for my to take to the apartment we have to move to. Thankfully, I have come up with the perfect solution," Wily said as he brought out a machine gun and started shooting at his Robot Masters, but instead of shooting bullets, it shot out pokéballs. "I caught a Slash Man! I caught a Metal Man! I caught a Wave Man! I caught a Bright Man! I caught a--"

"Wily, could you please stop? You're lowering my IQ." requested Bass.

"Okay, I'll stop with the 'I caught a' thing," Wily said as he continued shooting pokéballs.

When all of the robot masters were captured, Bass commented, "Okay, now we're knee deep in pokéballs. How are we going to carry all of these!"

"I'll just have RMK007 carry it for us," Wily answered as he pushed a big green button.

"RMK? You mean you built another robot in the Rock Man Killer series? I was under the assumption that me and Treble were the last ones!"

"First came Enker, then came Quint, then Punk, then came Ballade, after that Bass and Treble, and now, the newest Rock Man Killer... POKÉ MAN!" Wily yelled as a strange robot teleported down ( look in the reviews section for a picture ).

"...You have GOT to be ----ing kidding me!"

"Poké Man, gather up the pokéballs in your complex Selection Shot System blaster!"

Poké Man simply groaned as he picked up each pokéball, opened up his blaster arms, and put them in.

"I guess we better look for an apartment now," Wily said as he opened up his newspaper.

-I

-I

In a strange desert nowhere near the one Wily was in, a warp suddenly appeared, and a red convertible drove out of it.

OVERWORLD: LAND'S END...

"Land's End Theme From Super Mario RPG

"Okay, right now we're in the Land's End area of the Mushroom Kingdom," said Jon, who was is the back seat of the car. "Just drive into every sand whirl that has a giant ant and we'll eventually get to a path with giant lizards. After that, we'll reach a golden path and there will be an elevator. To activate the elevator, pay the mage and hit the heads until you get a note about being hungry. Then, go down to elevator, follow the path, and we will reach our destination, Monstro Town! I'll be taking a nap during the drive, since the doctor would most likely want me rested before the operation."

"You know, why couldn't we just warp directly to Monstro Town?" asked Link, who was driving, being the only one over 16 with a driver's license.

"There are no direct warps to Monstro Town because the citizens are fearful that they may be attacked, since while the city is full of reformed monsters, they're still monsters. It's all part of The Treaty of Gibdos Joe," said Rock, who was in the passenger's seat.

"Whatever," Link replied as he started driving, running over every giant ant he finds.

End "Land's End Theme From Super Mario RPG

-I

-I

"So, Bass, what do you think of the apartment?" Wily asked.

"Kind of small, isn't it?" replied Bass. "I doubt that more than three people could even fit in here, neither less live here!" Poké Man nodded in agreement.

"It's not that bad! It will be perfectly adequate for our needs!"

"Oh right, I see now! The generator could be in that corner, the launch pad could be on that extra bed, me and Poké's sleeping pods could be in that 6 inch space over there, and Yellow Devil could guard that square next to the door! Why couldn't I see this before!"

"Exactly my point!"

"Say Wily, why don't you have one of the Robot Masters look around the apartment so they can tell the others how great it is!"

"That's not a bad idea! But why don't you choose the Robot Master? I'm bad at decisions."

"How about... Toad Man?"

"Why not? Poké Man, release Toad Man!" Poké Man, who seemed to notice something Wily didn't, somehow grinned as he threw the pokéball and released Toad Man. "Huh? Toad Man's still wrecked from that invasion of the castle!"

"Pokéball, go!" Bass yelled as he threw Toad Man's pokéball at Wily.

"What the?" Wily gasped as he was hit by the pokéball and sucked in.

"I caught a Wily!" Bass exclaimed, mocking Wily.

Poké Man seemed to be happy.

"What? Are you saying that you're happy that Wily's in that pokéball?"

Poké Man nodded.

"So, you say he's an annoying, senile old man that only created you through a fluke and, in reality, he is a worthless inventor that can't make things worth crap, and the only reason you haven't killed him yet is because of the First Law?"

Poké Man made a gesture as if to say "I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, pretty much."

"... You know, forget what I said earlier about Wily having to be kidding to make you, you have some serious potential, and with me as your teacher, there shall be a new era of Wily-bashing!"

Poké Man looked happy.

"But first, we REALLY need to come up with a new name for you! I mean, Poké Man? Could that name get any stupider!"

Poké Man nodded in agreement, but then he started thinking, and he raised his index finger up and his eyes lit.

"You're right, your new name needs to be music related and be misspelled. How about... Jazz?"

Poké Man shook his head.

"Yeah, I guess that name's better for a Slash Man recolor. How about Bebop?"

Poké Man shook his head.

"You don't want to be confused with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles villain? Okay, then how about... Disco?"

Poké Man pointed his finger up.

"... Wait, it has to be misspelled, so how about... Diskoe?"

Diskoe's body lit up like a disco ball and some random funky song played.

"Okay, so now we've settle on the name, now to get rid of all of those pointless gimmicks and make you look cooler! Let's see what we can find in that pile of junk Wily brought... hmmmm... 'Costume Buster'? With this being one of Wily's inventions, there's no way this will work... wait, 'Copyright Gadd Industries'? Now there's actually a chance that it could work!" Bass held his hand to the Costume Buster and absorbed it into his weapon systems. "Now Diskoe, unless Wily bought a third-rate Costume Buster for only 18 cents, which, knowing him, he probably did, this shouldn't hurt at all." Bass activated the Costume Buster and a rainbow colored blast of light hurtled its way toward the newest Rock Man Killer. There was a big flash of light and Diskoe appeared with a new look (Look in the reviews for a picture).

"What you know, that actually worked o0"

Diskoe looked in the mirror. He looked at Bass, bringing to attention that he now has no face.

"It will have to do for now, let's go KILL MEGAMAN!"

Diskoe's eye (look at the button) lit up a few times.

"Yeah, I guess we have more pressing issues to attend to, so let's go FIND A BETTER APARTMENT!"

Bass, Diskoe, and Treble, who was there, despite not doing anything, ran out of the apartment with Wily's pokéball.

-I

-I

"Jon... wake up," Rock said.

"Huh... are we there already?" asked Jon.

"No," said Link. "There's a giant yellow dog-thing blocking the way. I tried running over him, but he's apparently too big. I would have chopped him in half, but Rock thought it would be better to ask you what it is, with you being a Game Master and all."

Jon looked up to see a giant dog-thing. "Oh, that's Belome. He guards the entrance to Monstro Town and has 1200 HP, 120 ATK, 80 DEF, 20 MATK, 40 MDEF, he has Super Defense against Sleep, his Weakness is Thunder, he gives 41 EXP, 20 COINS, and no items. I was under the assumption he was dead, so I didn't say anything about him."

"1200 HP? It's going to take a while to defeat him," Rock said. "Is there anything else about him we should know?"

"Well, Belome attacks by licking or eating his opponents, and he will spit you out if you struggle, but then he will be able to produce a weaker clone of you to attack you. He also knows a few magic attacks, including one that turns you into a scarecrow that can't physically attack or use items, but can still dodge and perform magic attacks."

"He attacks by eating?" Link said as he reached into his pouch, "...Then thank god I brought my LINK BAD TASTE SPRAY!" The Hero of Time then sprayed everyone.

"Do you have an Adamwestbatmanian supply of these sprays somewhere or something?" Jon asked.

"Actually, I just bought this at a joke store for Rock. I think he was going to apply it to your dinner or something."

"Uhh... no I wasn'-," Rock almost said in a way that made it obvious that he was lying, but Belome took this time to lunge at him and swallowed him whole as Jon and Link recoiled in shock. However, he almost immediately spit him back out.

"Bleagh! As hungry as I am, I could never eat this stuff!" Belome said, and he repeated this as he ate and spit out Link and Jon.

Once everyone was spit out, Belome told them to go away since they tasted so bad... and stuff, so the N-Team hopped into the convertible and drove down the road to Monstro Town.

Eventually, they came up to a crossroad after the sign saying:

"OVERWORLD: MONSTRO TOWN CROSSROADS..."

"Crossroads? There's nothing about this in the directions," Link mentioned.

"Dr. Mario probably hasn't been here in a while. Still, it should be easy to figure out," Jon said, pointing out another sign saying where the crossroads lead. "I should be heading to Shiitake Town, you two can go to Little Hyrule while I'm at the doctor's office or something."

"Okay, me and Link will take the car and you can ride Rush to Shiitake Town. Rush has the coordinates memorized, so he should take you straight to the building," Rock said as Rush teleported down and Link's car drove away.

"...Actually, I was kind of hoping you could drop me off first...," Jon said in vain as the car went down the other road. The Game Master looked at Rock's dog, which just transformed into a motorcycle. "I wonder what I should be worrying about more, people noticing that I don't have a license or people noticing that I'm 'riding' a dog." Jon shrugged, got on Rush, and drove down the road.

-I

-I

Link parked the car in a parking lot near the city border and the two riders stepped out.

"Well Rock, welcome to Hyrule! ... Or at least an imitation of it... Wait, something's wrong," Link said as he looked at his surroundings, expecting to find the rolling green hills and flowerbeds he was used to, but instead found lifeless dirt, dreary buildings, and clouds of dust. "This doesn't look like Hyrule! This looks more like a dungeon!"

DUNGEON: LITTLE HYRULE...

"Shadow Temple Theme From LoZ: OoT"

"Link, you have to remember that this is a home for reformed monsters, so they will obviously recreate their previous homes, or dungeons," pointed out Rock.

"You know, I'm beginning to regret coming here in the first place," said Link.

"While we're here, we might as well look around."

End "Shadow Temple Theme From LoZ: OoT"

As the two walked down the path, they eventually came up to a giant pig. "Moblin!" Link yelled as he drew his sword and almost ran to the moblin, but Rock held him back.

"Remember, reformed monsters Link," Rock said. "Maybe we could ask him for directions."

"Directions? To where?" asked Link.

"We could find out where to buy a map," suggested Rock.

"-sigh- Okay, fine," Link said as he stealth-fully walked up to the moblin, hand on his sword, and asked, "Uhh... Excuse me, but do you know where we could find a map?"

"... Is there any reason you're trying to sneak up on me?" asked the moblin.

"Uhh..."

"...Anyway, you'd probably want a dungeon map, so let me write down some directions to a place where you can buy one. Would you like a compass with it that, too?"

"Uhh... sure..."

As the moblin wrote down the directions, he commented, "You know, green guy, you look really familiar. Do I know you?"

"Well, I am the Hero of Time, if that's what you mean," Link answered in a cocky voice. Rock took the note from the moblin.

"Wait a second," the monster paused. "Calls himself the Hero of Time, the green outfit, the sword, it all fits! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED MY FAMILY!"

"...Sorry?"

"HEY GUYS!" the moblin yelled to the houses. "LOOK WHO'S HERE!" On cue, almost every type of monster Link ever faced, including bosses, popped their heads out of their doors and ran out with pitchforks when they saw Link.

Link was about to draw his sword, but Rock stopped him. "Link, remember that these 'monsters' are protecting by the law, and besides, taking on all of them would be a very stupid thing to do, even with my help."

"Well aren't they breaking the law by attacking us!"

"Yeah, they are, but I don't think they care. By the way, shouldn't we be running?"

Link and Rock started running.

-I

-I

OVERWORLD: SHIITAKE TOWN...

"Shyguy, Super Koopa, Banzai Bill, Lakitu, Spike Top, Boo, Twomp...," Jon identified every enemy he passed as Rush drove down the road. Some of the buildings were similar to the built-into-the-wall apartments in Super Mario RPG's Monstro Town, while others were like the mushroom houses in Mario & Luigi's Little Fungitown. Eventually, the Rush Cycle stopped in front of a traditional Japanese house, with the paper walls and sliding doors, etc. "This is the place? This doesn't look like a doctor's office," Jon said as he got off Rush. However, when Rush transformed back to his base form, he barked at a building across the street. "Huh? What is it?" Jon asked. He looked across the street to find a doctor's office. "Oh... never mind."

Rush waited outside as Jon walked to the front counter. "Uh, excuse me, I believe I have an appointment. My name is Jon Jones, and I'm the Game Master," Jon said, showing the lady at the counter, who happened to be a goomba, his controller and GBA.

"... ID please," the lady at the counter said.

"... Doesn't my controller count as ID? I'm pretty sure no one else has one."

"..."

"..."

From outside, a compartment on Rush's back opened up and a card shot through the open door and into Jon's GBA.

YOU GOTTEN... ID CARD!

Use this ID card as ID for stuff. It has proof that you are a Game Master.

"...I guess this is self explanatory," Jon said as he selected the ID Card on his GBA and it appeared in front of the goomba.

"Ah yes, Mr. Jones, the doctor has been expecting you. Just go down this hallway, turn left, and take the second door on right."

Jon walked into the room and sat down on a chair, waiting for the doctor. "&I wonder if the receptionist had this doctor confused with someone else," thought Jon as he waited, "I don't think this counts as being expected&."

After a few minutes, the door suddenly opened and closed. "?" Jon said. "Huh? Did... someone just come in here?"

Jon looked around and eventually noticed a small yellow ball with a doctor's outfit below it, and some funky green hair in the shape of a boomerang. "Wait, you're Jinx from Super Mario RPG! Now I get it, you are going to use kung-fu to somehow change my physics!"

"That is that it will not do, those which I think exactly," Jinx said in Engrish.

"...What?"

"Follow to me exactly in the next following room."

"Wait, just one question."

"It is?"

"...I'll assume that means 'Yes?' so... why are you a doctor?"

"It was good, that small-numbered year... started before..."

Translation: Well, it all started a few years ago...

Flashback...

"As for me teaching class, giving, the dragon of Knockback and the private lesson of my unique combination of plumber jump as died and when master of the temple of that ninja which crosses ninja order becomes disjointed, the style which is known as dragon style of jump. I thought that we would like to buy the temple because of a quantity where the student I always increase but when I start because of auction, you stumbled to the tube of metal, to small-numbered valuable second my traveling and the bus which being able to delay me lets escape at on was ended, therefore I make use my ancient car for obtaining in auction. However, until I arrived there, the temple attitude, being refined, was already sold out in snifits of five teen of the red robot, and my eternal opposition Waxon. As for me I did not become aware me and being the master of me kung-fu was not worthy of to the tube of the metal which was made to stumble because of that, therefore as for me doctor' It made the responsibility of of my helplessness which buys the temple because of the fact that now you obtained s and work here. Now, follow to me exactly in the following room."

Translation: I was teaching classes and giving personal lessons on my unique combination of the Knockback Dragon and Plumber Jump styles, known as the Leaping Dragon style, when the master of that ninja temple across the street from here deceased and the ninja order fell apart. I wanted to buy the temple due to my ever increasing number of students, but when I set out for the auction, I tripped over a metal pipe, delaying my trip by a few precious seconds and I ended up missed the bus, so I was forced to use my ancient car to get to the auction. However, by the time I got there, the temple was already auctioned off to five teenage snifits with attitudes, a sassy red robot, and my eternal rival Waxon. I blamed my inability to buy the temple on account of the fact that I did not notice the metal pipe that I tripped over and because of that, I did not deserve to be a kung-fu master, so I got a doctor's degree and work here now. Now, just follow me into the next room.

Jon was starting to get used to Jinx's peculiar dialect and almost understood him, but not quite. He followed the former kung-fu master to the next room.

Jinx said something in Engrish that translated to this, "Truth be told, I'm not exactly sure why Dr. Mario sent you to me—I'm not any better than him. I suppose he thought that I would use my karate skills too. Seriously, just because I'm a skilled fighter doesn't mean I can cure people with it! I can't give you anything beyond the advanced treatment, but I might be able to recommend a better doctor after I test you.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Jon said, catching only the last few words.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, in the temple-thingy across the street, a giant green head in a tube was meditating over something while an annoying red robot constantly yelled, "Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!" while trying to get his computer to work. Suddenly, the giant green head opened his eyes and spoke in a deep, cheesy voice. "Big Al, who works as my lackey and I dislike very much, but not more than my students who I teach, get the five teenage snifits with attitudes, of whom I teach very well yet dislike very much despite their very large amount of attitude, of whom nobody has more of."

"Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai! Yes Waxon! Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!" Big Al yelled as he ran out of the typical Ancient Japanese room in the typical Ancient Robotian fashion of waving his arms around wildly while screaming, "Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!"

Soon, the five teenage snifits with attitudes ran into the room along with Big Al and some strange silent guy with hair not too dissimilar to Spike's from Cowboy Bebop.

"Who is this strange looking teenager clearly lacking in teenage snifit attitude whom I do not recognize yet is still standing in front of the tube which I am in despite me not recognizing him?" asked Waxon.

"...Like...," the female snifit with attitude said in a valley girl accent while wearing a pink outfit.

"Heheheheheh...Kiiiiiilllllll..." said another snifit, this time a fat male and wearing yellow, said as he pulled out a knife and tried to stab the teenager without attitude, but he was held back by a third snifit wearing red.

"DUDES! I WILL HOLD BACK YELLOW WITH MY BIG MUSCLES, WHICH! I LIKE TO FIGHT WITH! TRY! TO FIGURE OUT WHO THE NEW GUY IS WHILE! I! HOLD YELLOW BACK WITH MY BIG MUSCLES THAT I USE! NOT ONLY TO FIGHT WITH BUT! TO ATTRACT! GIRLS WITH! DUDE!"

Another snifit with attitude, this time male wearing a green outfit, pushed up his glasses, pulled out a calculator, and punched in a few numbers. "According to my calculations, only 6.5 of women consider you mildly alluring or charismatic," he said, looking toward something to his left every time he said an italicized word.

"Day-um man, wat da hell are you doin'!" said the last snifit, who was wearing black and sunglasses.

"What do you adumbrate?" the snifit wearing green said as he looked somewhere as he used adumbrate incorrectly.

"You gonna tell me wazzup wit tat lookin' 'round before I start pimp slappin' you, foo!"

"-Snort- I'm sorry, but it's too intricate for you to comprehend," the one in green said as he continued looking somewhere every time he said an italicized word.

"DUDE! YOU'VE BEEN BURNED!" yelled the snifit wearing red.

"Boy, you racist o someting? Don't make me go upside yo head!"

"According to my calculations, I'm not being racist because you aren't black. In fact, your epidermis is a lighter shade than my own!"

"Okay foo, now you making me mad! I am gonna whoop your ayess!"

The not-so-black snifit tackled the one wearing blue when the one wearing red yelled, "A FIGHT! I! MUST JOIN!" and let go of the one wearing yellow to join the fight.

"Blood... heheheheh... kill... heheheheheheheheh... Hello Kitty..." the one wearing yellow said as he charged toward the one without attitude. However, the one without attitude easily dodged it and tripped the psycho. "Heheheheheheh... floor... heheheheheheheheh..."

When the attitude-less teenager was about to transform into a superhero sensation, the floating head, Waxon, spoke up. "Sejeto, whose name I now remember and recognize as the name of one of my top students in this academy, which I own, stand down." With that, Sejeto lowered his arms to his side.

"Everyone, whom I am the teacher for most of except for Big Al, who needs to be doing something, since I can't pay him to just stand around, I have an important announcement." With that, the snifits wearing black, red, and green stopped fighting, but the one wearing yellow was busy licking the floor while laughing insanely.

"Like... Oh my, like, god! I, like, know who he is!" yelled the female snifit in a valley girl voice.

"Yes, we already covered that... Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai!" yelled Big Al.

"Like, whatever."

"Anyway, to continue this speech that I have to give, through my meditation, which I woke up out of a few minutes ago..."

"-Snort- No affront Waxon, but my calculations elucidate that people will pay more recognition if you get to the point," said the one wearing green.

"Yes, right, of course. Anyway, through my meditation, I have concluded that Jinx, my eternal rival, who I have competed with since my childhood, where..."

"-Snort-"

"Err, I mean, Jinx has found a new student in the one known Jon Jones the Game Master."

"Like, what does that, like, have to do with, like, us?" asked the female snifit.

"Yeah man, we done care about Jinx! Did Jinx pimp slap us off our own ship? Did Jinx freakin' BLOW UP our ship after he pimp slapped us off? Did Jinx get us fired from a Benjamin-paying job that I needed to support my pimping business?"

"-Snort- According to my calculations, you intrinsic no pimping business, nor have you ever."

"Foo, you done just interrupt me like that! Dayum! If you do tat again, I swear I'm gonna call ova all my homies and while have a game of Beatthecrapoutofthenerd as big as J-Lo's ayass!"

"That's not the important thing I have to say, however," Waxon continued. Somehow, the floating head pulled a poster out of his nonexistent pockets. "According to this poster, Mario Mario will be coming to Monstro Town as publicity for his new line of wind-up dolls!"

"And when he gets here," the snifit wearing red said, his voice suddenly turning serious, "we will-"

"Go Samuel L. Jackson all over his ayass!" the wanna-be pimp interrupted.

"...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" the one wearing red yelled, suddenly becoming stupid again.

"AXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!" the snifits, who were revealed to be the Axem Rangers in their civilian forms, yelled, sans Pink and Yellow.

"Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe... Axe... Blood... Red... SPOON!" yelled Axem Yellow.

"Like...," said Axem Pink.

-I

-I

Jon and Jinx opened the door to the next room. The room was completely white except for 7 black platforms--3 on the left side, three on the right side, and one in the middle--with apparently metallic bases and tops made of some sort of see-through plastic that allowed you to see all of the complex circuits and chips inside, though they made it obvious that most of them were just for show.

"So is this like the teleporter rooms in Wily's fortresses were you have to fight all of the Robot Masters all over again or something?" Jon questioned.

"Type. As for how each platform doing, the world of the virtual reality which copies everything of your quality exactly, I'm your heart how is carried truly in me. In each platform, going and deciding passing by the test, correctly didn't to this one from the thing your world concerning you who can lock your that because of hopefully; The movement of T and me. Do I suppose that it is the pet?" Jinx replied.

Translation: Sort of. Each platform will transport your mind to a virtual reality world that somehow copies all of your properties exactly, I'm not sure how. There, you will have to go through a series of tests to determine what about you didn't transfer correctly from your world to this one, and I will hopefully be able to fix it for you. I assume you have PET (from Mega Man Battle Network)?

Jon paused a bit to figure out what the hell he said, but he then replied, "I don't have an actual PET, but Toad said something about my Game Boy Advance being able to link to this world's Internet along with mine, somehow. Is Nintendo's Internet like in the Mega Man Battle Network world with navis and such?"

"It is, that Internet how is here, it is, the boy of your game is whether it can use the fair fine. Like those where is Internet don't judging from the fact that, it has been known, don't navi, so is a shank?"

Translation: Yes, that is how the Internet is here, and yes, your Game Boy will work just fine. Judging from the fact that you don't know what the Internet is like, you don't have a navi, do you?

"No, I don't," said Jon after translating.

"- Already, when there is navi -, while being possible, barely to change in order the virtual reality machine copies the data simply, to draw up your virtual reality edition sigh. However, because there is no navi, as for your copy it must be drawn up from the scar which at least can take small-numbered time."

Translation: -Sigh- While if you already had a navi, the virtual reality machines could have simply copied the data and alter it slightly to create the virtual reality version of you. However, since you have no navi, your copy will have to be created from scratch, which could take a few hours at least.

"A few hours? I've faced worse downloading times than that!" Jon "boasted" as he inserted his GBA's link cable into the platform and the download process automatically started.

After that moment, Jon stared at the adjacent wall while Jinx left to see a new movie. From what Jinx heard, Chao In Space 3: Tsacmeard's Egg of Ages was a lot better than anyone could have expected and was getting 4 star reviews, which was especially surprising after the lackluster Chao In Space 2, which, in most people's opinions, focused too much on how cute and cuddly the chao were and ignored everything that made the first movie so great. Thankfully, the new one fixed all of that and also fixed the audiences' complaints about the first one, such as the main characters apparently being invincible and some of the lame lines the villain had. Apparently, CiS3's villain, Tsacmeard the Normal Chaos Chao, was completely awesome and the battle between him and Unimit the NiGHTs chao was absolutely breathtaking, despite it being a PG movie.

-I

-I

"Are they still after us?" Link yelled to Rock as the monsters continued chasing after them. The sky was now black with storm clouds.

"Do you even have to ask?" Rock answered.

"Could you just check for any changes?"

Rock looked back at the angry mob. "Well, there's been a change. At least 200 hundred more monsters joined the angry mob... Wait, there seems to be another crowd just as large, if not larger than, this one heading this way!"

"Great! Just great!"

"Wait, these don't look like any monsters I've ever seen."

"What do they look like?"

"Well, they are really fat, they seem to have unnaturally pale skin due to lack of sunlight, they're all wearing either blouses or shirts with pictures of anime characters, they're wearing short skirts, which is making my eyes hurt, and they all seem to be girls of many different species."

"Wha? That sounds just like..."

"LINK-KUN, YOU ARE SO KAWAII!" one of the strange monsters screeched.

"LINKY-POO, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!" another yelled.

"FANGIRLS!" Link yelled out of pure disgust and horror.

"Fangirls? What are those?" Rock asked innocently.

"Rock, you're young-looking, so I can understand why you've never faced these vile beasts before. Fangirls are viscous creatures that completely obsess over you and stalk you through the streets, carefully avoiding the sunlight because it will make them catch fire and burn to death. If they catch you, they will rip apart your clothing and force you to have sex with them, but the thing is, they tend to gang up on you, making them all the more formidable. Fangirls will steal everything you own, touch, or have even breathed on, and will film you when you bathe or use the toilet for every other fangirl to see on the Internet. Fangirls can only be killed by sunlight, garlic, silver, or a wooden stake through their hearts and possess super-human strength when they try to catch you or are fighting a person that doesn't like you. They also possess a high, screeching voice capable of making your ears bleed and have a very limited vocabulary, usually consisting of a strange mix of their native language and Japanese, though they rarely use the Japanese words correctly or in context. However, despite all this, there are one or two smart ones."

"Th-that sounds horrible!" exclaimed Rock. "Why isn't something being done about them?"

"Things ARE being done about them, but there are just too many, Rock. Just too many... Anyway, if we do this correctly, their sudden appearance may just be to our advantage!" Link then yelled to the angry mob, "HEY, WHY ARE YOU CHASING US!"

"BECAUSE WE WANT TO KILL YOU!" the angry mob yelled back.

"SUPER-BAKAS! NOBODY TRIES TO KILL LINK-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN WITHOUT GETTING THROUGH US!" one of the fangirls yelled, with the others saying something very similar, as the group ran toward the angry mob instead of Link and Rock. The groups collided and there seemed to be a big fight.

"Say Link, shouldn't we go back and help them?" asked Rock. "Though they're complete psychos, they still have souls!"

"Don't worry Rock, they lost their souls once they turned to fangirlism. Beside, they have super-human strength, remember?"

"...Say, with both groups preoccupied, couldn't we slow down?" asked Rock. The Hero of Time nodded and they slowed down to a walk.

Soon, the duo came to a sign.

"This is the border between Little Hyrule and Hooverville. Cross one at a time. Failure to do this will result in being fined 2000 coins (1000 rupees) and up to 6 months of jail time," Rock read out loud.

"Hooverville?"

"It must be a Dreamlandish name," explained the boy robot. "Also, before you ask, the law about crossing one at a time is to slow down any angry mob that may be chasing after you."

"o0 Well isn't that a coincidence. Anyway, Dreamlandish monsters are pretty tame, so I doubt they'll hold a grudge about what we did on the Halberd II."

The two then walked into town, one at a time of course.

OVERWORLD: HOOVERVILLE...

The town was unnaturally sunny, a startling change after Little Hyrule, and there was plant life everywhere. The houses were not too dissimilar to the ones in the Shire in The Lord of the Rings ,there were Waddle Dees everywhere, and there was food everywhere.

"Strangely enough, this reminds me more of Hyrule than Little Hyrule!" Link exclaimed.

"So Link," Rock asked, "how do plan on having Jon contact you to pick him up?"

"When he's done with that thing he's doing, he'll call me on my cell phone using a cell phone I gave him."

"Wait, when did you get two cell phones?"

"Well, the one I gave Jon is actually Epona's, but she's okay with it."

"Ah, Epona, okay... Wait, Link, why does your horse have a cell phone?"

"She has a lot of friends to talk to, so she bought one."

"How did your horse buy a cell phone?"

"I don't know, I'm just saying that's what happened."

"o0 Okay then... Anyway, how do you plan on getting your car back? It's still in that parking lot in Little Hyrule."

"I'll think of something."

-I

-I

"Enter A New Area Theme From Star Fox 64"

"Okay Fox, let's see your real ability!" General Pepper said to Fox through his radio.

"What? Why? Wasn't defeating Andross not once but TWICE showing my 'real ab-'" Fox responded as he launched his Arwing into the new training field above Corneria, but was interrupted.

"We've got to fly through all of the rings!" Peppy yelled.

"Yes, I know, Peppy... Wait, didn't you get a desk job? And where's Krystal?"

"I can't believe Pepper has to test us! Again!" Falco exclaimed.

"Damn right, Falco, but could anyone explain what's going o-"

"Hit start to go back to the game, ribbit!" Slippy screeched.

"What the heck are you talking about, Slippy!"

"I recommend using either Control Ty-" General Pepper said, but was interrupted by something.

End "Enter A New Area Theme From Star Fox 64"

"Ka-fighting! EVILBYMOONLIGHT!" one drunken voice, like one that would come from a giant eggplant, yelled out of an old, run-down spaceship.

"THE MOONLIGHT'S GONNA EAT YOUR SPOON!" another drunken voice, like one from a fat boxer, yelled.

"WINNING LOVE BY DAYMOONLIGHT!"

"I NEED TO CUT YOUR NAILS! CUT YOUR NAILS! DOESN'T MATTER WHY, I JUST NEED TO CUT YOUR-"

Fox shot a charged up blast at the old, rundown spaceship, causing it to ricochet away from the planet, and it warped to a different region.

"Fox! What are you doing!" General Pepper yelled.

"...Wasn't that part of training?" Fox asked.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, at the Shiitake Town Youth Center...

"I GOTS TEH MUSCLES! I TEACH YOU LOSARS KARATE!" yelled Axem Red in his normal form to a bunch of six-year-olds trying to learn karate.

"But I suck at fighting! I only came here because my mom made me!" a kid responded.

"THAT'S BULLCRAP, MAN! YOU CAN! DO ANYTHING IF YOU! PUT YOUR MIND TO IT!"

"Except fight."

"...Yeah, you're right, go sit down...!"

"Haha, look at the kid who won't fight," a kid said blandly.

Axem Red then went up to the kid again. "Hey, are those kids giving you a hard time?"

"... Yeah."

"Well, all you have to do is go over there and KICK THEIR ASS!"

"... I don't fight, remember."

"Oh, right... Hey, are those kids giving you a hard time?"

"--"

-I

-I

Jon continued staring at the wall when there was a ding. "I guess the download's done."

"It is good, it is good," Jinx said as he walked in. The movie was even better than he expected, but it seems the people in the building didn't like that he suddenly left, so they forced him to come back. Thankfully, that was after the three-hour movie was over, so it didn't make much of a difference.

"So I can start now?" asked Jon.

"Truly, go to forward. You're start such of a fair already makes, that of raising activate publication."

Translation: Sure, go ahead. You're already jacked-in, so just press START to activate it.

Jon pressed START on his GBA and the platform he was on glowed. Right before his eyes, he saw the jack-in sequence from the Mega Man Battle Network anime (or Mega Man NT Warrior) and he found himself in a strange world. The sky looked like that one picture of space NASA took a few years ago, you know, the one where they aimed the telescope at this empty space, and it turned out there were millions of galaxies there, and the ground was made up of shiny indigo-ish tiles. Jon looked at his hand to find that it was the same as in the real world.

INTERNET: MONSTRO MEDICAL NETWORK...

Suddenly, a brown standard navi (like those green navis you find walking around in the Mega Man Battle Network games, except brown) wearing a white doctor's suit and a stethoscope appeared and said, in clear English, "This is the Doctor's Office's website. In this area, it's specifically designed so that you do not feel any pain."

"Are you Jinx's navi?" Jon asked.

"Yes, I am. I am Doctor18301.EXE. Initiating test one."

"Huh?" Suddenly, a stone fist appeared out of nowhere and smashed Jon into the ground. Jon exploded into many orbs, but Doctor18301.EXE pressed a few button, and the orbs came back together, reforming Jon.

"Test one fail. If this was real life, that stone fist would have killed you."

"Wha... What was that?"

"I have no idea. Initiating test two." A bomb appeared out of nowhere and exploded on impact with Jon. Jon blew up, but he was yet again reformed. "Test two failed. Your reaction time is too low. Initiating test three."

This time, Jon quickly pressed START on his controller and a few seconds later, time froze. It was a good thing too, since Jon noticed that there were a multitude of bullets heading right for him. Jon walked out of their path and headed for the source, a floating steel orb about eight inches in radius with many machine guns on its great circle. Jon quickly ducked under the guns, unpaused, and shot a B-Blast, destroying the robot.

"Test three passed. Initiating test four." Suddenly, floating platforms appeared, forming a path, and on the last platform was a flag. "Get the flag."

Jon looked at the first platform. It was too high for him to jump to, even with a running start, but after a while, he finally came up with something. Jon pulled out his controller and swiped the Piano E-Card through it, causing a piano to appear. The Game Master carefully got on it and jumped to the platform. It was a success, but he noticed a problem. The other platforms were too far for him to jump, and the button to change the piano back to a controller was on the bottom, so he couldn't bring it up with him. Sighing, Jon gave up.

"Test four failed. You couldn't jump far enough. Initiating test five." A TV suddenly appeared in front of Jon. "You must stay in this seat throughout this entire program."

"That doesn't sound too hard," the Game Master replied as he switched on the TV the hear something evil.

"-Insert Mega Babies theme song-"

Jon was immediately screaming and jumped out of the chair.

"Test five failed...

-I

-I

"So as you can see, this apartment is very... roomy," said the landowner, a Hammer Brother, as he showed Bass and Diskoe a apartment.

"...I can see that," Bass replied. The room was constantly making seizure-inducing flashing, and there didn't seem to be walls anywhere. In fact, the door leading inside was floating in the middle of nothing, and the room seemed to be of infinite size. "By the way, is there anything we can do about the flashing?"

"Well, I'm guessing you could have someone build some walls and maybe a floor."

"Okay, that's good, Wily likes to pointlessly make steel walls and floors, even when they're already there. Anyway, uhh... Jim, is it?"

"Yup."

"Jim, this place seems great. How much is it?"

"Well, since there's no water in here and people have gotten lost in here, and there are rumors that the ghosts of the people who got lost and died in here still wonder around, it's only 10 coins a month."

Diskoe made a few motions.

"Wily can just get bottled water. Anyway, Jim, we'll take it!"

Suddenly, a creepy guy with four crystals of different colors appeared floating above the ground. "What do you think you're doing!" his voice boomed. "You can't just sell my apartment after five days!"

"...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," Jim responded.

"Culex. C-U-L-E-X."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry, but my policy is that if you don't enter your room for more than five weeks without a written note telling the landlord about it or, if you do that, you don't return after five years, it will be sold to another person."

"Five years! I was only gone for five days! I left for my home dimension after facing a defeat at the hands of Mario, visited my mom, got drunk with my friends, got a hangover, and came back!"

"Well, that must have been one heck of a hangover, because according to my notes here, you left when Mario defeated you on March 14, 1996, and today's October 23, 2004. That's more than eight years, which is more than five, so the apartment belongs to these guys, Bass and Diskoe," the Hammer Brother said, pronouncing Bass like the fish.

"I AM NOT A FISH! MY NAME IS BASS, DAMMIT! BASS!" Bass yelled, pronouncing his name like the instrument and the clef.

"Whatever," said Jim.

"Hmm, it seems time travels slower in my dimension. I'll tell you what, I'll pay you double whatever they're paying!"

"...Deal."

"My ass it is!" Bass yelled, transforming his arm into his Bass Buster. "Lesson number six, Diskoe, when someone doesn't let you have something, beat the crap out of them!"

Diskoe made some motions.

"Come on, he doesn't look that strong, you're just overreacting!"

-I

-I

"Test ten failed. You couldn't run for a long enough period of time," announced Doctor18301.EXE. "I will now determine your score." The navi then logged out.

Jon stood there waiting, and eventually decided to bring out his GBA. To his surprise, Jon saw himself in the GBA in the doctor's office in a top-down perspective. "&That must be me in the real world, using that term lightly, of course&," thought Jon. The Game Master pushed forward on the GBA and, on the screen, his body went up. When he pushed A, Jon jumped, when he pressed B, he made a quick jab, when he pressed L, he ducked, which, in combination with the D-pad, made him crawl, and pressing R made him pull out his controller. Jon then assumed that pressing different buttons in combination with R would make him use an E-Card.

However, before he could test this out, Jinx looked up and yelled, "Just a little, ardently the mouth!"

Translation: Hey, cut that out!

Thus, Jon stopped experimenting. After a while, Jon, looking through his GBA screen, noticed that another doctor ran in, told Jinx something, and the two ran out of the room. Curious, Jon pressed START on his GBA and he was back in his own body. "&I wonder what's going on&?" he thought.

Jon walked outside the doctor's office to find that there was a big parade. A remix of "Do the Mario!" played as musicians, marchers, policemen, and random people wearing red slacks, blue suspenders, red hats, and fake mustaches marched down the street, with Mario himself leading it!

"...Oh, that's what's going on," Jon said as he watched the spectacle.

Suddenly, however, five snifits suddenly jumped in front of the parade.

"&o0&?" everyone thought at once.

"MARIO! WE'VE! COME HERE TO GET REVENGE! IT'S MORPHINE TIME!" yelled Axem Red.

"Morphing time, Red," Axem Green corrected.

"WHAT! EVER! IT'S MORPHING TIME!"

"Pimpmobile Axe!" yelled Axem Black.

"Like...!" yelled Axem Pink.

"Erudication Axe!" yelled Axem Green.

"Heheheheheheheheh... Kuwagamon... funny word... blood... Axe!" yelled Axem Yellow.

"TYRANOSAURUS!" yelled Axem Red.

"Karate Axe, Red," Axem Green corrected.

"... Axe!" Axem Pink finished.

"KARATE AXE THINGY!" yelled Axem Red.

In a flash, the snifits doubled in height, gained color coded outfits, and started doing pointless karate moves. Somehow, this caused everyone to run away, except for the people you actually care about.

"MARIO! WE CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT!" Axem Red yelled to the fat plumber, who was standing there with Luigi, who was trying to find a good place to hide.

"...Okie-dokie," Mario said as he started Super Jumping on Axem Red's head.

Battle... BEGIN!

"OW! OW! OW! RETREAT!"

MARIO WINS! YOU GOTTEN... MUSHROOM!

"Red, my man, we could easily pimp-slap that foo if we whooped his ass togeter! Man, the only reason we lost last time was 'cause he had two homies and a hoe with him! Now let's just go all karate on his ayass!" Axem Black told Red.

"... You're not black, are you?" Jon asked.

"No, I'm not. Now, you got a problem wit dat, foo! I come ova dare and pimp-slap you good if you don't shut yo mouth!"

"SCREW KARATE! LET'S USE THE!"

"...Like, the, like, what?" Axem Pink asked.

"THE! THE! THE THINGIES!"

"... The Zords?" asked Axem Green.

"WHAT HE SAID! WE NEED AXEM ZORD POWER NOW!"

"Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Theme Song"

The Axem Ranger's ship, Blade II, flew out of the clouds and it flew toward the rangers' position with the Sun right behind it. Two compartments on the left and ride sides and one on the top opened up and shot out five giant axes (Look in the reviews section for a picture).

Somehow, the Axem Rangers jumped up and were suddenly in the cockpits of their zords.

"YOU GUYS! READY?" Axem Red yelled.

"PIMP-Yeah!" yelled back Axem Black.

"Like, oh my god, totally!" Axem Pink yelled.

"Indubitably!" Axem Green yelled.

"Me want baboon costume! Me want demon children, the only of which survive are the girls, but the guys start surviving after about 100 episodes, who claim to be able to kill my archnemesis easily, but never do so, and me want jewels! Shiny jewels! To bring back to life the Seven Evil Clark Gables! Standing here in Jersey City, fighting villains from afar! Me gotta find first gear in me BLOOD DEATH GORE BRAINS giant robot car! You! Dig! Giant robots! Me! Dig! Giant robots! We! Dig! Giant robots! CHICKS! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS! Duuuuuuuuuhhhnuhhnuuuuuuuuuuhhh Nice!" yelled Axem Yellow

"ALL! RIGHT! INITIATE! TRANSFORMATION!" yelled Red.

The red axe started its transformation by splitting down the middle so that both halves were the same size and shape and they were half as thick as before. The blade parts then overlapped, forming what seemed to be the chest of a giant robot. The oval parts came up so that they were perpendicular to the sides, and the part of the axe's handles below where the blade started launched off and combined with the ovals, forming arms. The body and arms were complete.

The yellow axe started its transformation by separating the handle and the blade. Then, the handle split in half so that the base was a skinny oval, forming legs, and the blade split in half so that the depth stayed the same and the sides were equal, forming feet. The blades then attached to the bottom of the legs so that the sharp part and the triangles were both facing forward. The legs and feet were complete.

The black axe started its transformation by separating the blade from the handle. The sharp part of the blade then separated into four, forming fingers. The handle was then grabbed by the fingers by the handle's... handle. The left hand was complete.

The green axe was already in transformed form. The right hand was complete.

The pink axe started its transformation by having the blade and handle separate. The blade then split in two so that both halves were the same size and shape and they were half as thick as before. The two blades then attached to opposite sides of the handle and extended. The wings were complete.

The parts (sans Pink's) then came together and the body dashed along an aircraft runway in front of an action-filled red and orange background, and then Pink's zord attached to the back. The megazord took off into the air and fiery meteors started crashing in the background. Two more objects flew from the airship. A large, somewhat bird shaped red plate attached below Red's blades, covering up the Pink "skeleton", and the Breaker Beam Cannon came down from the ship and attached to the top, forming the head. The megazord was complete. (Look in the review section for a picture)

"... o0 Dude..." Jon said as he looked up at the robot. "&Normally, I wouldn't be amazed, but once you see one in real life... using that term lightly... ahh, to heck with it, I'll just start referring to this world as the real world. It will make things slightly easier to talk about. Wait, why am I just standing here&!" Jon thought to himself as he quickly ran into the nearest building.

"AWSOME! THE SUPER SATAN GOD TRIPLE JESUS BUSTER DESTRUCTIONARY BREAKER ROBO III! PALADIN MODE RED VERSION MEGAZORD IS! COMPLETE!"

For about a minute, the megazord just stood there as everyone gaped at its height of one mile.

"So... waddawedo now?" asked Black.

"Well, according to my calculations," Axem Green said as he punched in some numbers on his calculator, "the best choice of action would be to use the gun, since even if Mario migrated into the sewers, the explosion would still badly wound him, as opposed to trying to step on him-" Axem Green was interrupted as he used "migrated" incorrectly.

"GREAT! LET'S STEP ON HIM!" Red yelled.

Yellow eagerly obeyed as he lifted up the megazord's right foot and lowered it. At this point, Jon noticed that the foot would crush the building he was hiding in, so he pressed START on his controller, ran out of the door, and time froze. Mario seemed to be running away from the foot, Luigi seemed to be hiding behind some trash cans, Rock, now Mega Man, and Link were behind the foot firing at it, and Jinx seemed to be jumping into an open manhole.

"&That's it&!" thought Jon as he tried to move Mario to the manhole, but found that he couldn't change his position at all. He then walked over to the sidewalk and effortlessly picked up a pebble. "I guess I can only move nonliving things, not counting robots," Jon thought out loud. "Wait! Why didn't I think of this before! I can freeze time and steal whatever I want!"

"Yeah, and if you do that, I'll come and kick your ass

downstairs into the kitchen, because no one can do that except me and I have a bazooka

that I can use when time is frozen and you don't. By the way, weapons don't work against frozen foes," Toad said as he suddenly walked in out of nowhere and immediately walked out.

Jon groaned for a second, but then focused his mind on how to get the Mario Bros. to the manhole and had an idea. First, he grabbed an arrow Link was firing out of the air and placed it in front of Mario so that it would fly past him, and when he turns to see what it was, he'll see the manhole and jump in. Then, Jon somehow positioned a Mega Buster shot so that it would explode behind Luigi, knocking him out of the trashcans, and he would look for a new hiding place. He would see the manhole and go into the sewers. Afterwards, Jon walked behind the megazord's foot and unpaused. Both Mario Bros. made it to the sewers.

"...Jon, where did you come from?" asked Mega Man.

"I paused and came over here, but I managed to save Mario and Luigi," explained Jon.

"I guess you used our attacks to do that, considering how they suddenly disappeared," said Link. Jon explained what he did.

"By the way, is there any way we can get up there?" the Game Master asked, pointing to the SSGTJBDBRIIIPMRV Megazord's head.

"Well, I guess I can use my hookshot..." Link said.

"I have a better idea," Mega Man announced as he pressed a button on his Mega Buster. Rush teleported down and transformed into his jet form and barked.

"That's nice and all, but how will we fit on?" asked Jon. He got his answer when Beat (the bird) and Tango (the little known cat from the GB games) teleported down, turned into extra chairs (with seat belts and jetpacks), and attached to Rush by a chain.

-I

-I

"DUDES! WE TOTALLY CRUSINATED MARIO!" Red yelled.

"Wait, man! How do we know dat he dead? I did'n hear no scream!" Black replied.

"Like, me nayther!" screeched Pink.

"Well, at this solstice, it would be practically insurmountable to hear anything from down there, so it would be much more unostentatious to just go down there and look for ourselves," Green pointed out.

"GREAT! LET'S DO THAT! YELLOW STAY! UP HERE AND KEEP THE! FOOT UP!" Red yelled.

"Okie dokie!" Yellow said in a creepy voice as the other Rangers teleported down.

On the street, the Rangers were trying to decide who would scrape off Mario when they found him as the megazord's right foot lifted up.

"DUDES! HE'S NOT HERE!" Red yelled.

Suddenly, the ground started shaking.

-I

-I

"So, have you guys seen that Axem Yellow guy?" Link asked as Rush flew upwards.

"What about him?" Mega Man replied.

"Well, not only is he fat, but he seems to be insane. That's quite a strange combination there."

"Well, I've heard this really disgusting rumor about Axem Yellow. It turns out that every time he kills someone, he eats their brain," Mega Man said, adding a shudder at the end.

"Then I guess he must have killed a lot of people to be that fat," pointed out Jon.

Mega Man was about to ask how Jon could be so insensitive, but Link pointed out that there was an entrance a few meters higher, right below the chest.

Rush flew up to the opening. "Link, you get out first," Mega Man said. With that, Link unlocked the seatbelt on the Tango Chair and jumped into the entrance. Before Jon could jump in, however, the ground spontaneously started shaking and Link had to use his hookshot to stay in the megazord.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" The Hero of Time asked.

Suddenly, five large vehicles in the shape of various crappy game systems burst out of the ground. They were in the shapes of a Wonderswan, a Sega 32X, a Nintendo Virtual Boy, a Neo Geo Pocket Color, and a Nokia N-Gage (look in the reviews for a picture).

"Correction, NOW WHAT'S GOING ON?" Link inquired.

After apparently searching around for a few seconds, the Sega 32X and the Wonderswan flew up to where the N-Team was and Mario's voice boomed over the loud speakers. "Mama-mia, you-a two get-a in here quick!"

Jon and Mega Man shrugged and Rush flew toward the zord-things.

"Hey! What about me!" yelled Link.

"Well, someone should try to get some help from Game and Watch or something," said Jon said as he detached Beat from Rush and went into the Sega 32X as Mega Man went into the Wonderswan. When they got into the cockpits, Beat and Rush teleported away, along with Tango. Link seemed to be yelling something, but they couldn't hear.

Inside the 32X's cockpit, there was one screen that was to the front left showing what was happening in front of it (the large part), a black screen to its right that seemed to serve no purpose, two screens to the immediate left and right, which showed what was happening out of their respective sides, one screen behind Jon, showing what was behind him, and a radar screen below the two front screens, along with various gauges and such. Below the radar was a control panel. In the center of the control panel was a joystick that seemingly controlled the direction the ship was facing, on top of which was an unlit button. Below the panel were some pedals similar to in a car, and most likely had a similar purpose, and shift gears. To the right of the joystick were some unlit buttons labeled "CONNECT1", "CONNECT2", "DISCONNECT", "LAUNCH", and "RETURN". To the left of the joystick was a speaker, a microphone, and four lit buttons with the names of the other vehicles below them.

The speaker suddenly activated as Jinx's voice came out of it. "Welcome to of Bad System Robos. The fact that the method of controlling your is grasped you sufficiently is easy expectation. In calculation of 3, as for your everything " CONNECT1" you must push, simultaneously. 1. .. 2 --"

Translation: Welcome to the Bad System Robos. It should be easy enough for you to figure out how to control yours. On the count of three, all of you have to press "CONNECT1" at the same time. 1... 2--

"Huh?" everyone, except Jon, said out the speakers.

"He said that everyone has to press "CONNECT1" at the same time on the count of three," Jon said into the microphone after he pressed all of the lit buttons.

"Wait, who are we talking about?" asked Mega Man.

"Jinx, you know, the famous midget martial artist," Jon answered.

"Oh, right."

"By the way, Jinx, where did these zord things come from?"

"THESE PEOPLE ZORDS! THEM ARE THE ROBOT TRANSPORTATION FUSION VEHICLE!" Jinx yelled.

Translation: THESE ARE NOT ZORDS! THEY ARE ROBOT TRANSPORT FUSION VEHICLES!

"What did he-a say?" Mario asked Jon.

"I'm not sure. I think he was using a different dialect that time," Jon answered.

"NOT ZORDS!" Jinx corrected.

"Oh, okay. Anyway, can you answer the question?"

"As for me under my office maintaining RTFVs with the sewer, as for me you took Mario-sensei and Luigi there. To being at the point where I obtain those, in regard after I lose the auction for the temple of ninja, I used for the money, however, buy these. As for RTFVs it was normal to belong to Fawful someone who is shown. With respect to appearance, he was defeated by Mario-sensei, everything of that possession ones was for selling."

Translation: I have been keeping the RTFVs in the sewers below my office, and I took Mario-sensei and Luigi there. As for where I got them, after I lost the auction for the ninja temple, I used the money to, instead, buy these. The RTFVs used to belong to someone named Fawful. Apparently, he had been defeated by Mario-sensei and all of his belongings were up for sale.

Jon translated for everyone else. "So anyway, you were saying before?"

"Well right. Calculation and publication of 3 'CONNECT1'."

"At the count of three, press 'CONNECT1'," Jon translated.

"1... 2...3!" Jinx yelled.

The Virtual Boy attached to the N-Gage's right side (left from the picture's perspective) by its top. The 32X attached to the left side of the N-Gage by its bottom. The incorrectly done arrow buttons on the Wonderswan flew off of the giant portable system and one group attached to the right bottom of the N-Gage while the other group attached to the right part of the Wonderswan. Some type of energy orb appeared in the middle of each group and a sort of energy string connected them. The logo then flew right off of the Neo Geo Pocket Color's screen, unraveled, and connected the bottom left part of the N-Gage and the right part of the pocket system.

"If there is this button, now, publication 'CONNECT2'," Jinx said.

"If you have 'CONNECT2', press it," Jon translated.

The N-Gage's screen raised up. The Virtual Boy's top raised up and moved slightly to the right. The entire top 3/4s of the 32X lifted up. (look in the reviews)

"Bad System Robo now is complete!" Jinx yelled.

"The Bad System Robo is now complete!" Jon translated.

-I

-I

"...Like, oh my god, did you, like, totally see that?" Axem Pink asked.

"DUDES! THEY COPIED US!" Red yelled.

"-Snort- Actually, there are multitudinous kinds of combining robots, not just megazords," Green corrected.

"...WELL THEY STILL COPIED US! LET'S GET THEM!" Red yelled as he, Pink, Black, and Green teleported back into the SSGTJBDBRIIIPMRV Megazord to join Yellow.

The megazord turned around to face the Bad System Robo and struck a pose. "HEY! NOBODY GOES AND! COPIES US! YOU'RE GOING! UP!"

"Down, Red," Green corrected.

"WHAT! EVER!"

"What do we do now!" Jon yelled into his microphone in the BSR.

"Someone has controlled the arm?" Jinx asked.

"I'm in the Sega 32X! Who's in the Virtual Boy!"

"Its-a me, Mario!" the Italian plumber exclaimed.

"It was understood, now are there some feet?" Jinx asked.

"Mega Man's in the Wonderswan, so Luigi is in the Neo Geo Pocket Color!" Jon answered.

"You make the robot kneel, it was understood, as for Luigi, in the limit first, it is not, it moves the foot the left. The Mega person only moves the foot the right to balance of storing. Jon barely moves the back section of the arm the left. In order to point with megazord, Mario on the right arm, raise in salary, and I do the challenge message of record completed."

"Okay, Luigi, move the left leg forward, but not so far as to make the zord kneel. Mega Man, only move the right leg to keep balance. Jon, move the left arm back slightly. Mario, raise up the right arm so that it will point at the megazord, and I shall issue the challenge message," Jon translated.

Everyone moved the BSR into the position above.

"Now I do record completed message," Jinx said as he pressed a button on his control panel. "The female dog it has that, do!" Jinx's voice yelled out of the Bad System Robo.

"...Like, what did he, like, oh my god, like, say?" Axem Pink asked out of the SSGTJBDBRIIIPMRV Megazord.

"Wazzup, I think he mean 'The biazitch has it, dude,'" Black answered.

"WHAT! DOES THAT MEAN?" Red yelled.

"Cockpit! Funny word! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehheheheheheheh!" Yellow said out of nowhere.

"-Snort- Guys, I don't envisage that's what he's saying. He seems to be speaking Engrish. Give me a second to translate," Axem Green said.

"OKAY!" Red yelled.

"Okay, I got it! He ejaculated 'Bring it on, b-tch!'"

"WHAT? OKAY! WE'LL BRING IT!" Red yelled out of the Megazord's speakers. "IF! YOU WIN! WE WON'T ATTACK MARIO! HE'S IN THERE! RIGHT?"

"It is!" Jinx answered.

"WHAT?"

"Yes, Red," Green translated.

"OKAY! AND! FOR THE PRIZE SYSTEM, WE WILL! GIVE YOU MEDALS SHOWING THAT WE! ARE YOUR ALLIES! AND WE WILL ACT AS ALLIES! TOO! AND IF WE WIN?"

"We give our enormous robots!"

Red turned to Green. "HE'S! SAYING WHAT I! THINK HE'S! SAYING, RIGHT?"

"Yup," Green answered.

"ALL! RIGHT! WE ACCEPT!" Red yelled to the Bad System Robo.

End "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Theme Song"

Battle... BEGIN!

The two mechas stared at each other for what seemed to be forever.

"...Jinx, wouldn't it be a good idea to attack now?"

"It is, I so suppose. It meaning that kicking falls in us, remembering, it makes the button of the joystick of the arm, the thruster of the jet aircraft which makes the punch activate with the foot me it is supposed it pushes," Jinx answered.

"Yes, I suppose so. Remember, pressing the button on the joystick in the arms will make you punch and will make the jet thrusters activate in the legs, I assume because kicks will make us fall over," Jon translated.

"So who-a will attack?" Luigi asked.

"Well, personally, I th--" Jon was about to say, but he was interrupted by a scream.

"MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the mysterious voice yelled.

"What the Fonz was that!" Jon asked.

"There's an institution for angsty persons near here, and Shadow the Hedgehog was recently admitted to it. He must be having an angst-fest right now," Mega Man explained.

"Hmm and ' Maria' and ' Mario' as for the sound the way; So Mario it attacks,"

"Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Zord Battle Theme"

Mario said, "Okie-dokie," and targeted the megazord. He then said, "Here we go!" as he pressed the button and Virtual Boy controller launched toward it. It collided into the megazord, knocking it over. For the sake of time, let's just pretend that the guys piloting the Bad System Robo already know the basic functions of their robot (jumping, walking, etc).

The BSR walked over to where the MZ was and was about to do another Virtual Boy Punch (VBP), but the MZ

jumped up, knocking the BSR away. However, when the BSR got up, the Megazord pointed its black gun at it. Black yelled, "Okay, foo, now you gone and make me mad! PIMP GUN!" as a white plasma blast shot toward the sort-of N-Team, which makes sense in a sick way, considering what Axem Black thinks he does.

"Fast Jon obstructs the attack of the shield of your arm!" Jinx yelled.

Translation: Jon, quick, block the attack with the shield on your arm!

"Shield on my arm? I don't see any--wait, my fist looks like a--" Jon said as the Pimp Gun blast collided with the Bad System Robo (BSR), knocking it into a nearby building, destroying it. As the blast exploded, the megazord turned around and struck a pose in true Power Rangers fashion. However, the battle was not over yet, as the BSR quickly got up, and Mega Man and Luigi activated the dash thrusters, causing the robot to rocket toward the posing megazord. When they got into range, Jon swung a punch with his Sega 32X, which smashed into the back of the megazord, and if that wasn't enough, Mario's Virtual Boy controller got another hit in as it drilled into the enemy mecha and knocked them to the ground. Luigi lifted his Neo Geo Pocket Color foot to stomp on them, but the jet thrusters on the megazord's wings activated and they flew out of harm's way.

The megazord flew a few meters above the BSR and about one hundred to the right of it when Black yelled,

"PIMP GUN!" and fired another white blast. However, this time, Jon knew what to do and blocked it with his shield-arm. The Bad System Robo then threw the Virtual Boy controller at the megazord, but it was expecting this and flew out of the way. It then grabbed the wire and started spinning the robot around like a Mario would to Bowser, and tossed it a good distance away. The megazord flew after the BSR as it crashed through a few buildings.

"Mr. T Killer Axe!" Axem Green yelled as he tried to slash the large green axe, but the Bad System Robo suddenly dashed into the air, narrowly avoiding it. After going a decent height, the dash thrusters shut off, and the giant robot elbow dropped the megazord, causing both to fall over, but with much more damage done to the megazord. The BSR got up, when Jon noticed that some of the previously unlit buttons on his control panel were now lit, more specifically, the button labeled "LAUNCH".

"Mega Man, could you kick the megazord into the air for me?" Jon asked.

"Sure, but why?" Mega Man answered with another question.

"I want to try something."

The megazord was kicked into the air by the Bad System Robo's right foot, which was done by that foot alone activating its dash thrusters, and Jon aimed the fist at it and pressed the "LAUNCH" button. Jet boosters

activated on the fist and it detached from the arm, rocketing toward the megazord. However, the megazord knocked the fist away with the Mr. T Killer Axe and started spinning horizontally, pretty much turning in a giant version of Rouge's Drill Dive from Sonic Adventure 2. The megazord tore into the mecha's chest, eventually knocking them away, but Axem Red seemed displeased. "YELLOW! WHAT! ARE YOU DOING? YOU HAVE! TO YELL THE ATTACK! NAME!"

"Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh..." Yellow responded.

"FORGET IT! I'LL SAY THE ATTACK NAME! ...GREEN, WHAT'S THE ATTACK NAME?"

"It's 'MacGyver Slicer Kick'," Green answered.

"MACGYVER SLICER KICK!" Red yelled.

"Isn't that a little belated? And also, my calculations show that we should get back to the altercation."

"YOU'RE! RIGHT GREEN! LET'S GO!"

"-Snort- Mr. T Killer Axe!" Green yelled as he tried to slice the BSR, but it once again dashed into the air.

"OH! NO YOU DON'T! ACTIVATE THE HYPER BREAKER BEAM!"

"...Like, oh my god, Red, it needs to, like, totally power, like, up first," Pink pointed out.

"OKAY! LET ME JUST UNBUCKLE MY SEATBELT!" Red said as he struggled to do what he said.

"...Why?" Black asked.

"SO I CAN! POWER IT UP WITH! MY BIG MUSCLES?'

"...Tell you what, Red, let's bestow my idea," Green said.

Before the Bad System Robo could do another elbow drop, the megazord flew up and the Mr. T Killer Axe tore through it, knocking the robot to the ground and leaving one big mark. The mecha struggled to get up, and eventually did, and Jon noticed something. "Hey guys," Jon said, "I think I can still control my fist from here!"

"That it is splendid, it is, therefore to forward it goes, is possible to recover that here!" Jinx yelled.

"MACGYVER SLICER KICK!" Red yelled as the megazord once again did that Drill Dive attack, but Mario shot the Virtual Boy controller at them and it wrapped around the megazord. Eventually, it couldn't spin anymore and landed on the ground on its feet. Before the megazord could activate its jet thrusters, Mario pulled the controller away, causing the megazord to spin away like a top, ricocheting off buildings.

"That-a should buy-a us some-a time," Luigi said.

-I

-I

Meanwhile, at the nearby apartment complex...

After some loud crashes, Bass was tossed out of an apartment built into the wall, followed by Diskoe, who walked after him. Treble, who was waiting outside, barked.

Diskoe beeped a few times.

"Shut up, Diskoe, I'm fine," Bass said as he got up, dusted himself off, and drained his last E-Tank.

Diskoe beeped a few times.

"I know I lost, Diskoe!" Bass yelled. "At least you could compliment that I lasted so long."

Suddenly, the building in front of the two robots collapsed as a giant spinning robot crashed into it, bounced off, crashed into another, and continued on.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Bass yelled.

Treble then started barking at another giant robot opposite the direction the first was going.

"What is it Treble? Is Mega Man here?" Bass asked his dog-wolf-robot-thing.

Treble continued barking.

"He's in that giant robot! While I do feel like kicking his kiddy ass, I'm not going to fight him in that!"

Diskoe beeped.

"What's that? Wily made an upgrade for Treble that turns him into a giant robot! Isn't that a coincidence! So, give it to me!"

Diskoe threw out a pokéball, which opened up, revealing two CD-ROMs. Bass put one in a disk drive in Treble's forehead, which he scanned.

Diskoe beeped.

"I don't need to scan the directions! Knowing Wily, they probably make no sense anyway!"

When Treble finished downloading after a few seconds, he barked.

"Giant robot mode, activate!" Bass yelled. Nothing happened. "...All right, I'll take the damn directions," he said as he grabbed the CD and inserted it into a disk drive in his forehead. After a downloading for a while, Bass yelled, "Treb-Lo! It's showtime!"

-I

-I

"...Should we go after it?" Jon asked as he watched the megazord go into the horizon.

However, before he could be answered, a large purple mecha seemingly burst out of the ground. Since I don't want to draw the actual design, just imagine it as Big O, except with purple replacing the black, yellow replacing the orange, and Bass-style fins. "Mega Man, I know you're in there!" Bass's voice boomed out of the speaker. "I've--wait, there's some weird crap coming on the screen...,'Cast in the name of hair, ye not funky'? WTF is this crap! Wily must have been tanked when he programmed this! Anyway, I've had a bad day, and I want to beat the crap out of something, and since you're right here, I thought that you might as well be my victim. If I beat you in that giant robot thing, I get one of your weapons, like usual!"

"And if I win, Bass, you have to join the forces of good!" Mega Man responded through the speaker.

"Hell no, I'm not going to do that! Besides, you know the prize system doesn't work that way! You can only bet physical items!"

"Okay then, you don't have to give me anything when I win," Mega Man said before switching the speaker to just inside the Bad System Robo. "Heh, I kind of forgot about that. I guess I was caught up in the moment."

"That reminds me, where the heck did Bass get a giant robot?" Jon asked.

"Not now," Mega Man said as he switched the speaker back to outside.

"Same as usual, huh? Alrighty then," Bass said.

Battle... BEGIN!

Bass started off by having Treb-Lo punch the Bad System Robo in the side, and then again, but suddenly, the buttons on the N-Gage part of the BSR started shooting at the Wilydeus like missiles, knocking it far away, destroying a few buildings in the process.

"Mama-mia, what-a was that?" Mario asked.

"I became aware in being the switch which is hidden exactly in the joystick. In order to find that you must repel on," Jinx said.

"I just noticed that there is a hidden switch on the joystick. You have to flip over the top to find it," Jon translated.

"Hey! I'm not done yet!" Bass yelled as Treb-Lo ran toward the BSR, but it suddenly shot up into the air as the Sega 32X fist plowed through it and returned to its original position when Jon pressed "RETURN".

Suddenly, plasma bullets started riddling the surface of the Bad System Robo as Treb-Lo used its gattling guns. The robot raised its shield arm to block it and ran to avoid it at the same time.

"HEY! WHO ARE YOU! RUNNING FROM?" Axem Red yelled as the megazord ran back. The BSR ran past the megazord and the plasma bullets ended up hitting it. "HEY! WHO DO! YOU THINK YOU ARE? WE'RE GONNA KICK! YOUR ASS!"

"Well bring it on!" yelled Bass.

Battle... BEGIN!

"PIMP GUN!" Black yelled as he shot his white plasma blast at the Wilydeus, which was knocked over by the force of the blast.

"CHARGING UP HYPER! BREAKER BEAM!" Red yelled as he pulled a switch. "MACGYVER SLICER KICK!"

However, Treb-Lo blocked the attack with its arm shields while still on the ground and shot one of its hip chains at the megazord, which attached to it and sent it flying. The force pulled Treb-Lo back up, but the megazord quickly sliced off the chain with a Mr. T Killer Axe and landed on its feet. However, Treb-Lo quickly shot a large laser beam from its forehead that smacked the megazord right in the chest and it fell over. The Wilydeus ran over to the megazord with the piston in its forearm back and was about to Impact Punch it, but the megazord flew out of the way and shot another Pimp Gun, with Black yelling and all, which hit the mecha, but it managed to keep its balance. Treb-Lo shot used his gattling gun again, but it was deflected when Green spun his Mr. T Killer Axe.

"Wait! Stop everything!" Green yelled.

"WHAT IS IT?" yelled Red.

"I'm about to kick your asses, so make this quick!" Bass yelled.

"-Snort- We were both encroaching that other mecha, right?"

Red and Bass admitted that they were.

"So, why don't we just work together?"

"Bah! The only people I fight with are my dog, and maybe Diskoe if he proves to be cool enough!" Bass said.

"But you got your fundament kicked last time you fought."

"...Alright, whatever, let's join forces," Bass unwillingly said.

The two mechas turned to the Bad System Robo, which was just standing there watching.

"... Uh-oh," said Jon.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, an old, run-down spaceship crash-landed on Treb-Lo's head, causing him to transform back into normal Treble on the ground. Bass and Diskoe, however, stayed in their original positions and fell to the ground.

"OMGWTF? o0" everyone in the universe said at once.

Bass and Diskoe slowed their decent when Bass grabbed Diskoe, activated his dash thrusters, and shot his Bass Buster downwards at the same time. The spaceship fell past them and landed on the ground.

"Wooo! Yeah! That was awesome!" King Hippo yelled as he staggered out.

"Did you see the looks on their faces! They were all like, 'BLARGHBlAh/\/\!' while we were all like, 'Rip, slip, brush, ahhhh!'" Eggplant Wizard said, following after the boxer.

"And that eggplant wine thingy you made was JAWSOME!"

"YEAH!"

"Those guys are Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo," Mega Man explained.

"I know. King Hippo was the second guy you fought in the Major Circuit of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out and Eggplant Wizard was an enemy in the fortress areas of Kid Icarus, or dungeons or whatever you want to call it, and they both worked for Mother Brain in the days of Kevin Keene. My question is, how come the 'You Won' sign didn't appear yet?" Jon replied.

"I'll explain that later," replied Mega Man. "Right now, we still have to deal with the Axem Rangers." The Bad System Robo waited for their next move.

Meanwhile, as Bass and Diskoe hovered down to Treble, Bass said, "I should have known that you two were behind all this!"

"Hey! We were going to fly straight through whatever planet we're on!" King Hippo yelled.

"And we would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids and your dog!" Eggplant Wizard added.

"YEAH!"

"YEAAH!"

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"SHUT UP!" Bass yelled as he walked to Treble and pressed a button on his back, causing a keyboard and a computer screen to pop out. He typed some stuff and eventually said," What the hell! According to this, Treble's circuits are being interrupted by... tomatoes!"

"Sorry, that was me," Eggplant Wizard said as he waved his scepter.

"Okay, good, they're gone. I still have to get someone to fix all the wires, though, and his processor is heavily damaged."

Diskoe beeped.

"Get Wily to do it? Well..."

"Hey! Who's he?" King Hippo asked.

Bass ignored them. "...I guess I can't keep Wily locked in that pokéball forever. Let's get back to the crappy apartment he chose."

Bass grabbed Treble, who was too damaged to move, and the robot masters teleported away.

"...Hey look! Giant robots!" King Hippo yelled.

"Whoa! I never would have noticed them if you didn't tell me!" Eggplant Wizard said in a non-sarcastic way.

"Hey, EG! Do you have a spell to make giant robots or something!"

"I think so." Eggplant Wizard pulled out a spell book and flipped through a couple of pages. "Aha, here it is!" Eggplant Wizard shoved his scepter into the ground, said some magic words, and a bright flash of light appeared, but it soon turned back to normal. However, there was now a mecha standing in front of them.

"OMGWTF? o0," everyone said at once again.

"AWESOME! IT'S A GUNDAM!" King Hippo yelled as he looked up at the Eggplant Gundam and a building in the background inexplicably blew up. It looked exactly like whatever your favorite Gundam is, except it was made of eggplants.

"Idiot! Now that you said, 'IT'S A GUNDAM!', you're gonna lose in no time!" Eggplant Wizard said.

"Well... Gun damn you!" The two then started laughing. "Hey, can you make another one so we can fight! I want to be one of those guys wearing those masks!"

"Sure!" the wizard said as he repeated the spell and created another Eggplant Gundam.

"Hey, doesn't the mask guy not use Gundams?"

"Hey, this is the only mecha spell I know!"

"I'm not saying it's bad, I just wanted to be realistic! By the way, how do these work?"

Eggplant Wizard explained in a complex way, but ended with," ...and this was all possible thanks to a made up material that doesn't exist, never has existed, and never will exist called Eggplantium!"

"Wow... wait, if the thingy is fake, how is it realistic?"

EG shrugged.

"GREAT! LET'S GO!"

"Wait! We need to get into character!"

"You're right! Quick! Give me a mask!"

Eggplant Wizard created a purple mask.

"Wait, the mask needs to be white!"

"Well, the only white vegetable I can think of is an onion..."

"What about relish?"

"Re-wha?"

"Huh-wha?"

"...Onion it is!" Eggplant Wizard created a white onion mask and King Hippo put it on.

"Whoa! It's like I'm crying tears of anger toward Earth because I hate it and want to destroy it or something! Sweet! Hey, EG, don't you have to get in character too!"

"You're right! Hmmm... I got it! Hippy, do you

have your stereo!"

King Hippo opened his mouth wide and pulled a stereo out of it. "Right where I always keep it."

"Great! Now to use my bootleg CD spell!" The wizard cast a spell and a CD made of eggplants appeared in front of him. He put it in the stereo and Linkin Park's "Crawling In My Skin" burst out of it. "Now I can truly be an angsty teenage Gundam pilot!"

"LET'S GO!"

The two idiots somehow went inside the robots-made-of-eggplants and started fighting.

"HEY! CUT IT! OUT! WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE! A FIGHT HERE!" Axem Red yelled from the megazord.

"...Poopy-brain," Eggplant Wizard said as he dispelled his mecha summon and the two idiots were set on the ground. "...Hey, Hippy, do you think the people around here appreciate Jell-O pudding?"

"I don't know! Let's see how they react when we post post-its saying how great it is everywhere!"

"YEAH!" The two high-five each other and ran off.

MEANWHILE...

"PIMP GUN!" Black yelled.

The megazord, which was still in the air, fired a white plasma blast at the Bad System Robo. However, the BSR blocked it with its Sega 32X arm. The megazord dived toward the robot, axe drawn, but the shield-arm suddenly punched it exactly thirty-two times and it fell to the ground.

"If you're wondering, I used that button inside my joystick," Jon explained to everyone else in the BSR.

The BSR walked over to the megazord, but it suddenly the MZ jumped up in attempt to knock the BSR away, but it successfully dashed out of the way, and used the

N-Gage special attack, henceforth called "N-GAGE'd". However, the megazord flew out of the way, so the Bad System Robo shot its Virtual Boy fist at it. MZ grabbed it, but Mario pressed the button in his Robot Transport Fusion Vehicle and electricity surged through the cord, electrocuting it and causing it to fall over. However, it quickly got up and Red yelled. "IT FINALLY FINISHED POWERING UP! THANKS TO! THAT ATTACK! ULTRA BREAKER BEAM! FIRE!"

A much larger version of the Breaker Beam from Super Mario RPG sailed into the Bad System Robo from the megazord's mouth, knocking it over. "Mama-mia! We only-a have 35 energy-a left!" Luigi yelled. Another shot hit them on the ground. "15-a!" Another blast, this time much smaller, hit. "7-a? What-a happened to the-a rest of the-a beam?"

"Hey man, there's fat-ass pink bugger suckin up the beam!" Black yelled.

"Like, Black, did you just, like, totally say, like, 'bugger'?" Pink asked.

"No, girl, I say 'hoe', now when you gonna start listenin to me!"

"IT'S PROBABLY! NOTHING!" Red yelled.

"-Snort- Red, he seems to be transmogrifying," Green pointed out.

The pink object transformed into a pink version of the megazord's head and shot the Ultra Breaker Beam at the real head. Red screamed as the real head exploded.

"...Red," Green said.

Red continued screaming.

"RED!"

Red continued screaming.

"...BLUE!"

"...HUH? WHY AREN'T WE DEAD?"

"Red, we in da chest, man, remember?" Black said.

"...OH RIGHT! WE CAN STILL FIGHT!"

"Actually, according to my calculations, that would be very onerous, because the cameras were in the head and now we can't see," Green said.

"...THE WHA?"

The Bad System Robo 32X Punched, Virtual Shocker Fisted, and N-GAGE'd the megazord at the same time. Eventually, the zords separated and the Axem Rangers flew out. The zords automatically flew back to the Blade II airship that they came out of. When the rangers landed on the ground, they un-morphed back into snifits.

End "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Battle Theme" ... That's right, it's been going on all this time

BAD SYSTEM ROBO CREW WINS! YOU GOTTEN... ALLY MEDALS!

Medals showing that the Axem Rangers are your allies.

The Bad System Robo separated into five systems, which landed on the ground. Jinx, Mario, Luigi, Jon, and Mega Man stepped out to meet Kirby and Link, both on the Warpstar. "It's about time you got here," Jon said to Link. "Wait, is Kirby all the help you got!"

"Acthuawy, Wink awso goth Theme Stal Fox tho come, buth we goth hele filsth," Kirby explained.

"I guess I should tell them that the deal's off," Link said as he got off the warpstar, pulled out his portable phonvision, and dialed a number. It rang a few times, until someone picked up.

"Hello? Oh, Link, we're heading for Shiitake Town right now," Peppy said over the phone.

"Yeah, about that..."

"Wait, you're already at Shiitake Town, aren't you?" Peppy said as he looked at Link's surrounding.

"Yeah, well, it turns out that we managed to take care of the situation ourselves, so I'm--"

"You're firing us! Hey Fox! This guy's firing us!"

"What? Why's he firing us?" Fox yelled from across the room.

"We didn't get there soon enough or something!"

"I told you we shouldn't have accepted a job from a man wearing a skirt!" Falco yelled.

"...I'm also wearing tights, you know," Link said in an annoyed voice.

"Hey, don't blame Link," Krystal said.

"Yeah, blame Slippy!" Peppy yelled across the room.

"What? What did I do?" Slippy yelled in that unisex voice of its.

"We were having a discussion about what gender you are while the Great Fox's programs started up, and we

ended up talking thirty minutes after it finished. Thirty minutes that could have been spent getting here!" Peppy said.

"Wait, exactly how long were we fighting?" Jon asked back in Monstro Town. Everyone there shrugged.

"Well, at least one good thing came from that discussion," Falco said. "Now we have pronouns for people whose sex we don't know. For example, hesh is the unisex form of he and she, hem is him/her, and hish is his/hers."

"You guys are mean ;;," Slippy said.

"Uhh, anyway, the point is, we don't need you, and you're not getting your money," Link said as he hung up.

Everyone walked over to the de-morphed Axem Rangers. "So, these badges mean that you won't attack us?" Mega Man asked.

"YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT!" Red said as he got up. The other snifits followed his lead.

"We don just go back on promises," Black said.

"...OH NO! THEY KNOW OUR SECRET IDENTITIES!"

"Relax Red, it's almost inexecutable for someone who isn't a snifit to tell the difference between us," Green said.

"THAT RIGHT?"

"Yup."

"CAN YOU TELL THE! DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US?" Red said to Link.

"Besides the color coded outfits and the fact that the guy wearing black is five times paler than all of you combined, not really," Link answered.

";; Shut up, man," Black, the pale snifit, said.

"OKAY THEN! ANYWAY, WE MAY BE ALLIES! BUT! MARK MY! WORDS, MARIO! WE WILL KICK YOUR ASS! IN ONE MONTH!" Red said as the snifits teleported half a block to Waxon's ninja temple thing.

"One month?" Jon asked.

"The Fifth Annual Super Smash Brothers Tournament is in one month," Mega Man explained.

"Whoa, is it really that soon! Wait, annual! Toad said it was biannual when I fought Chameleo Arm on the Halberd!"

"Well, Toad-a isn't exactly the-a most reliable-a source," Mario said. "He-a once told-a me that-a the princess was-a in another castle, but she-a was actually in-a the next-a room." Mario then pulled out his wallet and took out two paper objects. A die appeared above Mario and it started spinning rapidly. He eventually jumped into it, causing it to stop on number five. "Congratulations-a, Mega Man, you-a will receive a-a coupon for-a Mario Brothers Plumbing to fix-a your pipes for-a free, due to your-a hard-a work in piloting the Bad-a System Robo and-a luck!"

"Thanks, but Dr. Light already built a plumber," Mega Man said as he changed back to Rock.

Mario rolled again, this time getting a two. "Jinx, your-a getting the-a coupon!"

"Thank you, but I you, already owe to Mario-sensei so, therefore I decrease courteously," Jinx said.

"Okie-dokie, so that-a means Jon gets the-a coupon," Mario said as he gave the coupon to on.

"Uh, thanks," Jon replied.

"Now-a Kirby, for helping us-a defeat the-a enemy, here's-a your prize."

Kirby took the coupon. "Flee Wocal Colt Sulgely? Justh fol this lemalk, I'm gonna kick youl ass exthla halth duling the thoulnament!"

Translation: Free Vocal Cord Surgery? Just for this remark, I'm gonna kick your ass extra hard during the tournament!

"Okie-dokie!" Mario said, not taking the threat seriously. "No-a offence, but-a me and Luigi have-a to get-a going! Arrivederci!"

"Wait, remember, we had nothing to do with all the damage, got it?" Jon said.

"Okie-dokie," Mario said as he and Luigi ran off somewhere, but not before he and Link gave each other the death stare.

"...What was that about?"

"Ever since the first tournament, me and Mario habe been rivals," explained Link. "I was always the better one, though."

"By the way, Jon analysis of the data from your test is complete. As for that what the it' To be more than common example of the sickness of area it does not seem the way in s. For example, when Hyrulian living in the country of dream it came, those, first, it was good completely, when it does for a while, you used no day there, the area they' which is about it increases with in the reals oven of area; To the average reals of ve world' which you follow the actual scale of Rostenburg which it agrees; With the quantity of actuality of s, reals, and Hyrulian' Natural reals of s -- -- don' As for large number of the match stats of t roughly it changes the fact that. There is a medicine for this, but, it can choose that at all drugstores. I nominate the relief person of the sickness of the area of Lutide very. At least, if 1 day 1 time you take that 30 days, your endurance increases very, height of your jump increases. However, this does not increase you HP, you the barrier does not become stronger and, as for lag of your pause still there is there," Jinx said.

Translation: By the way, Jon, the analysis of the data from your tests is complete. It seems that it's nothing more than a common case of Region Sickness. Dr. Mario must have assumed it was something else, due to where you come from. If, for example, a Hyrulian came to live in Dreamland, they would, at first, be perfectly fine, but after a while, the fact that the world's reality number according to Rostenburg Reality Scale, or reals, and the Hyrulian's natural reals--which matches up to the average reals of the regions they've been to where the reals of the regions are multiplied by how many days they spent there--don't match up causes many of their stats to wildly change. There is a medicine for this, however, and you should be able to pick it up at any drug store. I highly recommend Lutide Region Sickness Reliever. Take it once a day for at least thirty days and your endurance will greatly increase and you will increase your jump height. However, this will not increase your HP, your barrier will not get stronger,

and the delay in your PAUSE will still be there.

"How can I fix that?" Jon asked.

"Because of your HP, it seems like the central part, it is possible to do those which the item where HP of everyone and shopping increases does or it blends Woohoo with Starbeans. As for me because of the shield which can make for stopping, concerning that what which can speak to the master hand it does not possess thought. I was the winner of extreme pulverization Bros. As for tournament, it supports with '02, therefore as for me it is possible to possess the

conference of your master hand, as a favor," Jinx responded.

Translation: For your HP, you could do what everyone else does and buy HP increasing items, such as heart pieces or Woohoo Blends at Starbeans. I have no idea what you could do for the PAUSE, but for the shield, you could talk to Master Hand about it. I was the winner of the Super Smash Bros. Tournament back in '02, so I could have Master Hand meet with you as a favor.

"Link, did he really win the tournament in 2002?" Jon asked.

"Sadly, yes. He beat me--barely, mind you--in the quarterfinals, but the next year, Princess Zelda/Sheik beat him in Round 3, and since I know I can beat them, I technically beat Jinx!" Link answered.

Rock sighed. When Link and Zelda/Sheik last fought in '01, Link lost.

"Okay, so Jinx, you go ahead and do that," Jon said. Jinx nodded and went back to his office, which was, amazingly enough, still standing. "Okay, my job is done and soon I'll have greater stats, not to mention I still have this net navi from the doctors' office."

"What? Jon, that's hospital property, you can't just keep it!" Rock yelled.

"Well, if it is, wouldn't have Jinx remembered about it? Martial artists are supposed to remember stuff like this!"

"Well..."

"Don't worry, it's not stealing if they don't know it's gone."

"Actu--" Rock was about to say, but he was interrupted by Rush teleporting down. A compartment opened up on his back and an image of Dr. Light appeared above him.

"Rock, I just finished programming the hologram room, so you can now go through all of the Robot Rebellions again to train for the tournament," the doctor said.

"Great, I'll be right there!" Rock said, immediately forgetting what he was telling Jon, as he teleported away, but Rush stayed.

"Game Master, I still have to meet with you, don't I? It must have slipped my mind. How about we talk at some time during the tournament?"

"Uh... sure," Jon replied.

"Great, I'll see you in one month," Dr. Light finished as his picture disappeared and Rush teleported away.

"Wait... MY CAR! IT'S STILL IN LITTLE HYRULE'S PARKING LOT!" Link realized.

"So why ton'th you justh geth ith?" Kirby asked.

"Basically, all of the monsters there are out to get me... hmmm, I wonder if the fangirls or the monsters won..."

"What?" Jon asked.

"Uh, nothing."

"Hey, I hawe an itea! Leth's both go thele, ant we can lun away flom the monsthels as thlaining!" Kirby suggested.

"That's a great idea, but you REALLY need to use that free vocal cord surgery coupon!" Link said.

"--" Kirby replied. The two hopped on the warpstar and flew away.

Jon pulled a warp capsule to the Main Region out of his GBA, threw it down, and walked in.

-I

-I

NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2004!

"Instrumental Version Of Captain N 2004 Theme Song"

"The Fifth Annual Super Smash Bros. Tournament has finally began, and Hand Stadium, Main Region is packed! A lot of stuff is explained, and there are a lot of fights, none involving me, when suddenly, almost everyone disappears. Me, Toad, and Proto Man have to go deep under the stadium, following a lead from a letter from the one claiming to be the kidnapper."

"Be sure to read/watch Captain N Level 4: Paradoxic Smashfest!"

"You'll understand the title once you read it."

-I

-I