The symbol "&" will show the thoughts of characters.
"-I" will act as a section break.
"-" has replaced all astericks, which do not show up here.
All new formats will be applied to the previous chapters after the redone version is finished.
Currently, both parts of Ch. 4 use this format.
Due to a bunch of computer problems, an earlier draft was accidentally deleted, so I had to start over, if you're wondering what's taking so long.
The main point of this note, however, is that I've decided to do a new format for my stories: I'll post each chapter in separate parts like everyone else. Thus, feast your eyes on part one of Chapter 4. Some things may still be changed.
Unfortunately, I'm redoing Chs. 1-3 again, but don't worry, the new chapters are higher on my list of priorities.
Thankfully, Ch. 4 doesn't have anything that would be too badly affected by the 2nd remake of Ch.s 1-3, so don't worry about that. Also, there aren't any musical cues or pop-ups in this part of the story, but they will appear later.
I
I
Toad's kart drove down the road, running over every small furry animal it could. Jon didn't exactly approve of this, but he decided not to say anything, as the talking fungus brought his bazooka with him, which he used to blow up anything he missed.
"You'd think there would be more traffic, with the Smash Bros. Tournament and everything," the Game Master, who was hanging off the back of the kart, pointed out.
"Well, most people use warps to get to the city, but that costs more so I'm driving."
"Toad, we had to get there before 7:30 and the everyone starts coming in!"
"Don't worry, showing up on time is a sign of weakness, so ifWOAH, THERE'S A BIG ONE!" Toad yelled as he swerved off the road and ran right into a large blue bird. There was a loud thud as the kart rammed into the bird, went over it, and went back over. "You know, that bird deserved to die. Did you hear it talking jive at me?"
"Uh… What are you doing?" a guy inquired. He was wearing a gray armor with a red helmet, gloves, boots, and crotch-protector; a long yellow scarf; and black sunglasses.
"Proto Man?" Jon pondered out loud as he looked behind the car and noticed that the bird they just ran over was, in fact, Beat the robot bird. "It was all Toad's fault, I was just riding on the back!"
"… Right…" Proto Man, Mega Man's cooler older brother said in a rather annoyed voice as he gathered up Beat's parts.
"Wait, are you competing in the Smash Bros. Tournament?" Jon asked.
"… Say, aren't you that new Game Master?"
Jon got somewhat irked by Proto Man avoiding his question, but he realized that he tended to do the exact same thing and decided not to say anything about it. "Yeah, I'm Jon Jones, Game Master, and this is Toad, the guy that ran over your bird."
"…A Toad or the Toad? Because if you're the Toad, then that's a pretty lame first name. It's like you being named 'Human' or something."
"You do realize that I have a bazooka with me, right?" Toad brought up.
"And I have a plasma cannon, what's your point?"
"… Mine's better."
"Toad, I have to get to the stadium, now's not the time to fight," Jon called attention to.
"I already fought him! You see, I went back in time and stuck a Bob-Omb in his mouth and then came back to the present, and all I have to do is press this button and he will go into the future and get blown up by Future-Me using a second button! Watch and learn!" Toad "revealed" as he pulled out a remote control and pressed a button, but nothing happened. "You see, I sent Proto Man two half-nanoseconds into the future, and now I'll blow him up!" Toad pressed a second button, and nothing happened. "WHAT? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!"
"Let's just say I removed the bomb while I was traveling through time," Proto Man said.
"Are you competing in the Smash Bros. Tournament?" Jon repeated.
"No, I'm just here to wish my bro good luck. He's on that new N-Team of yours, right?"
"Yeah. By the way, what were you doing on the Halberd II a few months ago?"
"The same thing you were doing, I guess. I was also the one who took care of the Poppy Bros. after they fell off the ship, because they didn't die after they fell off."
"I guess that makes sense, considering that me, Mega Man, Link, and Kirby didn't die when we fell off the ship. So what weapon did you get from them?"
"Just a clone of the Hyper Bomb called the Poppy Bomber. Anyway, I better be going," the robot said before he whistled and teleported away with Beat's parts. Afterwards, Toad concluded that the bomb was simply trapped in time and the two people in the kart drove toward the nearby Hand City.
Now Loading…..
Level 4: Paradoxic Smashfest
Because Pointless Cameos Are A Good Thing...
Day 1: The Opening Ceremonies, Off To A Good StartThe kart drove down the road until it reached a huge, unmoving line of cars. Jon looked over and found that it seemed to stretch for forever. "I guess we're going off road from here," Toad commented as he turned the kart to the left onto the grass and continued driving, eventually stopping on a hill overlooking their destination a few minutes later. There wasn't anything very special about it and it seemed no different than any other small city, except for the mind-rapingly large dome in the center. "Welcome to Hand City, home of the Super Smash Bros. Tournament! Like a solar flare rushing from a sunspot, the city starts out like any other place, but then suddenly explodes in a burst of energy during the tournament, only to die down a few days later!"
"Nice analogy, I guess. But I was sure we were going to be late, but it's not even dark yet, so we must be making good time," Jon noticed.
"Not really," Toad replied. Almost on cue, the entire world seemed to go black, but it was relit by the moon rising into the sky and the city lights.
"Oh, right, I'll never get used to that." In game worlds with a lower amount of reals, day and night switch without any real warning. The kart continued on to their destination.
I
I
About thirty or so minutes later that night...
"Over here... put it down... there... NO, look where I'm pointing! Put it down there! ... NO, NOT THERE! Do I have to get Toad to give you that tutorial again? No offence, but this is like trying to teach a new gamer how to beat Mike Tyson in Punch-Out," Jon yelled up to a crane that just placed a statue of the Hand Brothers in the middle of the arena instead of on the button that opened the door.
"Game Master, you know I'm not good at controlling machines!" Link yelled back from the crane. "Why couldn't you get Mega Man to do this tournament tradition?"
"All of the fighters were needed to control the crowd, and if we sent you out there, all of the girls would go insane! Okay, now try again, but look at where I'm pointing!" Link put the statue in the wrong place again. "Gah! Let me in there!" Jon said as he climbed up the ladder and placed the statue on the button, causing the doors to burst open and the crowd poured into the seats, running over the fighters in the process. The now wounded fighters crawled into Dr. Mario's office, but Jon and Link were unharmed in the safety of their crane.
Once everyone had sat down and the crane was moved away, the lights switched off, shrouding the entire area in darkness, and mysterious laughter came from the background. While the newer viewers cowered in their seats, the ones who watched the previous four tournaments merely grinned. A giant white glove supported by nothing flew down from the horizon, every motion captured by a bright spotlight, and as he landed on the fighting ring, the laughter ceased and the lights turned back to normal. "Welcome to Hand Stadium, location of the 5th Annual Super Smash Brothers Tournament! I am Master Hand, founder of the Tournament and I would like to thank you all for coming," Master Hand somehow yelled through his nonexistent mouth. "It is very hard to believe that this it didn't exist only five years ago, when it has become synonymous with Nintendo all around Videoland, and it may be even harder to believe that"
Jon was sitting in the stands by himself when a toad with blue spots on his head, a black suit, and sunglasses, no relation to the one already introduced, approached him. "Mr. Jones? Could you come with me to the Commentator's Box?"
"Uh, sure," he said in a somewhat annoyed voice, as he was going to miss Master Hand's speech, not to mention he was perplexed by a toad wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night. The two went inside the well-lit halls of the stadium and came to the room after an elevator ride. Inside the room, Jon saw Toad and a strange robot that looked like a 3-foot tin can with arms and a jet pack and the other toad left.
"So, why did you need me here?" he asked them.
"Well, there are supposed to be three commentators the broadcast their commentary over every major news network, but the third commentator, Omochao, mysteriously disappeared just a minute ago with absolutely no explanation at all. You were next on the list, so you have to take his place," explained the tin can-bot with a light Texan accent who, unexplained to Jon, was a world famous sports commentator that went by the name Soup.
"Uh, okay. So what do we comment on now?" the Game Master queried as he sat down on the blue chair.
"Not much until Master Hand finishes his speech. He does the exact same one each year and it gets rather boring. First he explains the history of the tournament and how he was only known to a few select plotologists before" Toad groaned.
"Wait," Jon interrupted, "what's a plotologist?"
"It's a scientist who studies plot holes," the mushroom-man explained.
"That seems like a strange thing to study..."
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, PLOT HOLES ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF VIDEOLAND, AND WITHOUT THEM THIS WORLD WOULD BE NOTHING LIKE IT IS TODAY!"
"o0 Okay..."
"Don't worry, Toad here just gets worked up when someone doesn't know about plot holes because he's a plot mage," Soup explained.
"Uh, thanks, but that didn't really help. What's a plot mage, and why are plot holes so important?"
WARNING: EXPOSITION AHEAD! There is a summary of the information right after this.
"Basically," a now calm Toad started off, "an invisibleinvisible to normal people at leastwarp in the space-time continuum called the Eye of the Fourth Wall, which always exists one or more years in the future, records data of events in this world and transfers it to the minds of people in our present, usually game developers. The game developers then turn the data into games in your world. However, through mis-mashing of data from different people, thoughts that occur simultaneously with the acquiring of the information, efforts to make it more fun, efforts to make it more 'mature', corporations, etc, the data gets altered and the game is different from what will actually happen. The Game World is a daughter dimension of the Real World, formed by the thoughts and creations of Real Worlders, so what happens in your world directly affects ours, or causes a plot hole to use a plotologic term. For example, say Mario will be killed by Bowser one year or so into the future. The Eye of the Fourth Wall will record this data, but when the game comes out, Mario will somehow survive, because you can't just have Nintendo's mascot die. Thus, in this world, Mario will end up surviving Bowser's attack, but it also creates a plot hole. These plot holes create the messages on the screen such as the YOU GOTTEN ones, and are used to create warps and infinite item holders, among other things. There are two types of people who study plot holesplotologists and plot mages. Plotologists study it scientifically while plot mages use it for magic, but they are both able so see the EotFW and see somewhat into the Real World. For example, I use it to summon those YES and NO buttons and teleport by walking out of the Eye of the Fourth Wall's view. Master Hand is currently one of the leaders in plotology."
"Huh, that's pretty cool," Jon said, genuinely interested in how the Video Game Universe worked.
For those who didn't get all that:
In the game-verse, the plot holes play a major part in everyone's' lives. For example, they are used for warps, items, screen messages (like the YOU GOTTEN signs), and much more.
The Eye of the Fourth Wall records data from the Game World and sends it into the minds of Real Worlders, usually game developers.
Through outside influences, this data is altered when put into game form. This causes the Game World to change in order to fit the game, which in turn causes plot holes in Videoland.
There are two type of people that study plot holesplotologists, or plot hole scientists; and plot mages, who use plot holes for magic uses. Toad is an example of a plot mage, with his buttons-out-of-nowhere and walking off screen, and Master Hand is a world famous plotologist.
"It looks like Master Hand's speech has ended," Soup the tin can commented.
"Wait, I missed all of it! What did he say?"
This next part is rather meaning-less. To skip it, use the Find function (Ctrl+F) to search for ;lkhfd
"Like Toad was saying earlier, Master Hand pretty much does the same speech every year. He first starts out with how he was just a little known plotologist seven years ago, then goes on to how he met with his long-lost brother Crazy Hand. Soon, they formed the award-winning duo of scientists, the Hand Brothers: Crazy Hand would come up with ideas and solutions that seemed absolutely ludicrous to every other scientist, while Master Hand would make them happen. After about an year, Crazy Hand came up with an insane ideaa tournament featuring all of Nintendo's stars! Master Hand managed the host the first tournament on April 26, 1999 at the old Poun Stadium and it was quite humble compared to what it is now, but after the incredible revenues came in, he started hosting the tournament every year, and slowly added to it. Afterwards, he goes on to stuff like noteworthy fights, and then he probably apologizes for the entire Giga Bowser/Metal Mario incident during the 2001 Tournament and assures us that everyone involved with it is still banned until 2006. That's it in a nutshell."
"Giga Bowser incident? You mean that wasn't planned?"
"Nope. Bowser somehow managed the absorb all of the power from the stadium and started attacking everyone. He was defeated, but he later came back with the help of Mewtwo and Ganondorf, so every other fighter joined together to fight them, and eventually defeated him. His elemental powers were gone and his appearance changed back to normal, but he continued growing for about an year. He then suddenly changed back to normal when Mario defeated him again. Before the entire Giga Bowser thing, Bowser managed to get a bunch of his Magikoopas to make clones of Mario and Luigi using the Metal Boxes and attacked the fighters with them, but it wasn't found out that Bowser was behind it until the Giga Bowser thing."
For some reason, someone in the audience yelled, ";lkhfd" and then self-destructed out of courtesy.
"Anyway, the announcement is about to start, you better get ready," revealed Soup the tin can.
"Wait, what do I say!"
"Just follow our lead," explained Soup. "Due to you having to replace Omochao so suddenly, you can't memorize the script like the rest of us did, so you can just read off of the cue cards."
A lakitu came into the room with a tripod camera resting on his cloud.
"Wait, this is being broadcast? I thought we were the announcers!"
"You say 'wait' too much. Stop it," Toad simply said.
"Master Hand has Super Smash Bros. Tournament News broadcast to every major news network," Soup, who is getting more lines than such an unimportant character should, explained. "I thought you already knew that."
"SHUT UP, the broadcast is about to start!" Toad yelled. Everyone turned to face the camera.
After a news jingle played, Soup started off.
"Welcome to this special 5th Anniversary Addition of Super Smash Brothers Tournament News. With us tonight are Game Master Jon Jones the human and a member of King Game and Watch's, who will be fighting here tomorrow at the preliminaries, cabinet, Toad the toad. The opening ceremonies will start in exactly fifteen minutes, and from what I understand they will be quite spectacular this year. As you may notice from our camera footage, security has been somewhat decreased from last year, as people have calmed down about the possibility of another Giga Bowser incident, but make no mistake, it is still greater than 1999-2001. The audience is obviously very excited, and all of us here are too."
"On the subject of excitement, Soup, we managed to prepare a special retrospective of the tournament, which I hope all of you will enjoy," Toad said.
"Well Toad, can we show it in under ten minutes?" Jon read off of the cue cards.
"Of course we can, I wouldn't make it any other way. Again, I hope all of you folks at home enjoy it."
The lakitu stopped filming. On the large television screens of the arena, the previously mentioned video started playing and the reporters/announcers turned to watch it.
I
I
Meanwhile, there was a large space in the stands that no normal person dared enter. This was the traditional Mad Scientists section. There was no rule against sitting there, but it's not like anyone except that select group of people wanted to. In fact, the area was surrounded by a boundary of three to four empty chairs, sometimes five if the audience member cared about their brains. In this magical place with fairies and furry woodland creaturesradioactive and mechanical respectivelyDr. Albert Wily sat with a couple of his friends.
"So anyway, there I was, and all of a sudden these bird alien things steal my brain!" said a short little bald man with an N on his head.
"Pffhahahaha, are you serious! That's what they did!" laughed a large crocodile-type creature in a lab coat. "Boy, it's a good thing you kame here for the tournament instead of staying in Mikrosoft and Sony, Nintendo-Head. It just wouldn't have been the same!"
"Wait until you hear this! One time, I was in my fortress, and I decided" another balding man, with no N, began.
"Wily, you've told this one every time we get together, aren't you going to do anything new? Those Robot Rebellion things you do are interesting, but it's been years since you've started one, what's taking so long?" asked a floating robotic head that wasn't human-like at all.
"Hey, I'm just taking my time. At least I've actually built something recently, which is more than I can say for 'Kroky' here."
"Hey, I was stuck in that big eggshell for a few years, it takes time to get over that! I had to be fed by my kousin through a little hole in it! Kan you imagine how embarrassing that is for a mad scientist?" the crocodile responded.
"Right, right, I'm sorry. I'm just a little angry about the fact that this one government agent took my Skull Fortress, even if I did get a rather nice apartment," Wily explained.
"Wait, wait, a government agent came to your Skull Fortress and took it?" asked a fat, also balding scientist in a red suit.
"Yeah, some FBI agent named Victor Von Killdeath or something."
"Are you kidding! Killdeath is one of my robots!"
"Really? Then why did you have him take my fortress, Ivo! Do all of those years in college mean nothing!"
"Sorry Al, I didn't know it was you! You know how Steelix Metalcrafters Co. has a buy-one-get-twelve-free thing for their top buyer at the end of every quarter?"
"Yeah, I used to be the top buyer under the name Led-Z Industries."
"And I was Eggster Corp. in second place."
"Don't tell me," interrupted some random scientist from Team Rocket, because I seriously can not think of any more mad scientists from games, "you made Killdeath in order to trick 'Led-Z' into going out of business, didn't you!"
"Yeah, I did. Of course, I'm not that good at making humanoid robots, so I took one of Wily's robots' face, put it on one of my E-1000 units, gave it more advanced instructions, and threw a trenchcoat over it. Anyway, I had no intention of screwing you over, Al, so if there's anything I can do to make up for it..."
"...Well, I guess I could use a bigger apartment..."
"I know! You could stay with me on my new Egg Carrier 3.0!"
"I don't know, do you have room?"
"Of course I do, or my name isn't DR. IVO EGGMAN ROBOTNIK!" the plump doctor in high heels yelled as he stood up.
"Jeez, Ivo, we all know each other here, you don't need to yell out your name!" pointed 'Nintendo-Head'.
"Well, I'll think about it," Wily stated.
"Say, why do they call you Nintendo-Head?" asked someone.
"Well, it's simple. When I was in college, during the Sega-Nintendo Wars, I tattooed this N on my forehead to show my support for Nintendo, but, of course, this was before I moved to Sonywait, who the hell are you!" With that last sentence, all of the mad scientists turned to the interloper. He was a shyguy, and an ugly one at that.
"My name is Sid. Some guy took my chair and I couldn't find an empty seat, so I just sat here."
"...Tongue? Get'm," the floating head simply ordered.
One of the scientists pulled out a potion, drank it, and turned into a chicken-man.
"...What the" Sid said.
"BukCAW!" the chicken-man yelled as he leaped out of his seat and chased after the now running Sid with his wings stretched out.
Like I stated earlier, there was no rule against sitting there, but it wasn't like anyone wanted to.
I
I
"...And we're back," Soup said as the camera reactivated and the retrospective ended. "Boy, Toad, for someone who was voted least competent politician of 2003, you can sure make a good documentary."
"Well, what some people don't realize is that while my public, and private, appearance is very bleh, slap a political case onto my desk and I'll have it solved in no time," Toad explained.
"Say Toad, I've noticed that you haven't been acting your usual self," Jon revealed, still reading off of the cue cards.
"Hey, I'm getting 80 coins if I don't act out, don't ruin it now!"
All three of them laughed, Jon sounding fakest of them all.
"Anyway, the opening ceremonies will start any moment now with the traditional dance showcasing the history of a region. Omoerr, Jon, could you tell us what region the dance will be about this year?"
"Sure Soup. Since this is the 5th tournament and all, the dance will be a redone version of the original 1999 dance of The Mushroom Kingdom, with a higher budget of course."
"Andwhoa! The generators are forming the Hand Matter Envelope around the ring!"
By this point, everyone was looking straight at it: inside the boundary of the stands, there was the Smash Ring. Unlike the tournament ring you would find in a typical martial arts show, the Smash Ring wasn't made of white stone blocks and it wasn't even leveled above the ground. Instead, there was a perfectly flat area of dark green that was rectangular in shape, stretched about 3/4 of a football field in length and 1/2 of one in width. Forming a circle about it were eight black hemispheres that slowly spiraled away from it, consistently remaining equidistant from each other, as several blue energy comets flew from them, some flying about randomly, but most formed a much larger hemisphere of energy surrounding the green field. As in response to this, the green slowly changed to red, then blue, then orange, then purple, and so on constantly quickening its pace until all of the colors seemed to blend together into whiteness. The black hemispheres continued outward and the larger blue hemisphere expanded with them. They passed over a trio of gray doors but stopped just as they reached the inner boundary of a second one, where a silver claw-like object came out of each and seemingly clamped into the energy field. The blue hemisphere of energy reacted violently to this at first, forming flares of energy sometimes reaching only a foot beyond the reach of a front seaterthe TV screens advised them not to touch itand a red crack raced across the shell from each of the claws until they reached the apex. At that point, they straightened out and formed a shining red star where they met, and the blue calmed down. However, when the red star disappeared, the entire stadium was engulfed by the light of the Smash Ring, which suddenly tripled in brightness and made it impossible to see inside the energy field, though shaded windows thankfully came down a few seconds before this to prevent anybodies' eyes from being hurt.
When the flashing died down, everything inside the border formed by the standsthe black hemispheres, the blue hemisphere, the claws, everythingwas replaced by a grass field.
"I don't know about you, Soup, but I doubt the upcoming dance will be a better spectacle than that," Jon admitted without looking at the cue cards.
"I'll have to agree with you there, that's one of the problems with these opening ceremonies," Soup responded. "For those of you new to the entire Super Smash Brothers experience, what you just saw was the creation of the Hand Matter Envelope"
"Sorry to interrupt you, but the event seems to be starting," Toad called attention to as a series of koopa troopas and toads danced onto the field. "This part shows how close the toads and koopas were in the old days."
"As I was saying," Soup continued, not intent with being silent. "The Hand Matter Envelope produces an area where a substance called Hand Matter, the invisible material that is used in the ring to make sure no real harm comes to the fighters and makes it so that they instead become lighter the more the are hit, among other things. One of the other, and most important, uses is that it can be used to produce solid light holograms such as the various fighting areas using a computer program. To make sure they work correctly, they do a test run of each of themusing an area just as large as the one hereunder the stadium. What they did here was"
"This next section shows how the coming of the Great Boo Queen Akfegi forced one of the koopas, Morton Koopa the First, to take leadership over both the koopa troopas and the toads," said Toad as the scenery changed with another flashshaded glass again coming down on time.
"What they did here was do a solid light hologram of a grassy field... or now a dreary graveyard. However, the Hand Matter can only be contained inside of a Hand Matter Envelope, which was formed by the black hemispheres or Hand Matter Membrane Generators, and held in place by the clamps or Hand Matter Membrane-to-Envelope Stabilizers. Normally, the holograms are done right on top of the Smash Ring, but it can be done well outside of it with just a little extra energy like it is now. There Toad, I'm done."
"That's good. Anyway, what is being shown here is Morton Koopa making the final strike on Akfegi, but as he does, he absorbs some of her evil, cursing him with every second generation from his bloodline becoming evil. One interesting thing of note is that Bowser Koopa is not one of these generations, meaning that he is just naturally evil, but all of his children will be evil due to Alfegi's curse."
The event eventually ended and everyone moved on to the next.
"With the highlight of the opening ceremonies over, we will now move on to lesser things. First, we will have the hit band, The Darkcepticons, performing their hit single 'Kafighting'," Soup the tin can spoke into the microphone.
"Hit band? I've never heard of them," remarked Toad.
"Well, to tell the truth, they just paid us about 500,000 Galactic Federation credits, which is about 20,000,000 in coins and 1,000,000 in dollars!"
"500,000 Galactic Federation credits?" thought Mother Brain. Her security cameras around the base recorded this information as some of the Space Pirate troops watched the live broadcast. "Strange, that's the same amount of money that was taken from our reserves on Haoa II."
"Anyway, here come the musicians now!" yelled Soup as two menone short and the other tall and fatslowly crept into the Smash Ring wearing dark cloaks. The Hand Matter Envelope was formed again, but the creation was much quicker and less spectacular than before, as everything was already in position and powered up. When the flashing died down, a raised platform such as what you would find in a concert appeared along with all of the required stereo equipment. The two cloaked figures stood behind their microphones as the music started.
"I'm Tron O'Mega!" yelled the taller one.
"And I'm Scream of the Stars!" yelled the other.
"And we're gonna KICK YOUR ASS!" they both yelled.
Heavy metal blasted from the speakers and Scream of the Stars began the lyrics.
"Kafighting... EVIL BY MOONLIGHT!"
"OW! THE MOONLIGHT'S GONNA EAT YOUR SPOON OH!" Tron O'Mega yelled as a guitar fell from the sky. He grabbed it and smashed it into the ground to stress the OH and kicked the pieces on to a fake grass field.
"Winning love by DAY MOONLIGHT!"
"I need to CUT YOUR NAILS! CUT YOUR NAILS! Doesn't matter why but I need to CUT YOUR NAILS AHHHHHHH!" The music briefly paused twicebetween NAILS! and CUT; and between NAILS! and Doesn'tand it picked up during the last sentence. After the larger singer finished that part of the lyrics, both of them had a head-banging fest. This cased their hoods to fall backwards, revealing Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo.
Eggplant Wizard was about to continue the song, but he noticed that his hood was back so he yelled, "QUICK! SWITCH TO PROGRAM 14576126617562678560235476516378276412!"
Who ever was operating the holograms complied and, in a flash of light, the stage changed into a grassy hill at night and what appeared to be the moon from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask in the background.
The music started and both of them sang together.
"I like the MOOOOON! Because it COMES FOR US! It has a silly FACE! Just like my VASE, and my MACE, and my suitCASE, and my GRADUATE'S DEGREE IN WIZARDRY, though that is mostly SCIBBLES and perhaps a few TALLY MARKS, I think, and I also spilled one or two keyboards... JUST LIKE THE MOON!"
Little did they notice that, like in Termina, the moon was slowly falling toward their location. As the song went on, the moon was not stopped by anything like it was in the game and crashed right into the two of them. The force sent both of them flying out of the Hand Matter Envelope, unharmed due to the substance kept in the field and they were greatly slowed down, but they still ended up falling out of the stadium.
"The Darkcepticons's 'Kafighting', everyone. I have a note here from them stating that their album can now be found in Dan's Record Store."
The ceremonies went on for a while longer, until around 10:00 to be precise. When the last event ended, the Super Smash Bros. Melee theme burst from some unknown area of the stadium.
"Well folks, the tournament's theme song signifies the official end of the opening ceremonies, but don't worry, the preliminaries will be early tomorrow morning and the first match will be at exactly 4:00 PM. One interesting thing about the SSB Tournament is that the preliminaries are not actual fights but are instead various athletic events depending on their claimed strength such as running where the fighters are forced to run a mile in under 2 minutes, sharpshooting, weightlifting, etc, and the ones that complete the requirements end up in the tournament. They sometimes take the top runners, shooters, lifters, etc, if there are too many people," Soup explained.
"Even though everyone is leaving, we're staying here for a while longer to give you the inside scoop," Toad said as all of the announcers turned to face the camera. "As you know, 3rd Party fighters were introduced into the tournament in 2002 and have been a part of it since. With us today is one of the 3rd Party fighters in this tournament, who made it to the final round last time, Metal Sonic!"
Jon realized that the statement was deceiving, as he found out how the tournament was ordered a few days before. It starts out with 32 fighters, who all fight each other one-on-one, leaving 16 fighters. Then, everyone is placed into pairs, which fight each other, leaving 8 fighters. There is another team battle, leaving 4. Then, those four fight each other in a battle royal. So, basically, Metal Sonic was one of four finalists in the last tournament.
As soon as Jon's thought ended, the robotic version of everyone's favorite blue hedgehog from Sega flew into the room and sat on an empty chair.
"Well Metal, it's nice to have you here," began Soup.
"Same here," replied the robot hedgehog in a Sonic-style tone.
"This year, the tournament seems especially exciting, what do you think?"
"Searching for file: 'Response that will gain support from audience'. File found," Metal Sonic said in a cold robotic voice, but switched back to his Sonic-like one when he said, "Personally, Soup, I feel that this year, it will be especially exciting, and I can't wait to see what my opponents have in store for me. You see, I'm not actually fighting just to get the cash prize, I'm just fighting for fun. End file."
"So, do you have any strategies to win?"
"Yes, but if I told you, everyone else would hear and that wouldn't be a good strategy."
"Hahaha, when you're right, you're right."
"Scanners did not detect any signs of humor in my previous comments. R. Soup's laughter is illogical."
"Anyway, some people are concerned about how you transformed into that giant monster, Metal Madness, a few months ago. You wouldn't be planning on doing that here, would you? Another Giga Bowser incident wouldn't be good for publicity."
"After the incident, Lord Robotnik reprogrammed me so that I would follow his orders without question and I would not be able to even think of doing anything to harm him. Furthermore, my transformation was only done as a result of my body becoming compatible with Lord Robotnik's fleet, and it has long been destroyed, so there is no chance of transforming again," Metal said entirely in his robotic tone.
"That's great to hear. We'll be right back with Metal Sonic after this break."
The camera shut off and the lakitu hovered out of the room.
"Jeez, finally," Toad sighed as he opened one of the windows in the room, pulled a shotgun and a box of ducks, threw the ducks out of the window, and played a game of Duck Hunt.
"Wait, exactly how long is this commercial break?" The Game Master asked. "I just noticed that we didn't have any before."
"It's about 70 minutes, give or take," Soup answered. "After all, like you said, we went on for a couple of hours without any."
"Fellow robot Soup, could you meet me out in the hall?" asked Metal Sonic.
"Uh, sure," the tin can answered as he and the Sonic-bot did just that. Following this, Jon pulled out his Game Boy Advance and started playing one of his many games that were now kept in the Item Storage of the aforementioned system as opposed to his pockets.
"Ah crap," Toad said as he missed one of the ducks and it flew away. A dog that happened to be nearby stood on its hind legs and laughed at the mushroom. Toad pulled out his bazooka and blew it away. "Well, I'm bored. I'm gonna get some coffee."
As the politician opened the door and walked out, Jon couldn't help but hearing Soup and Metal Sonic's conversation.
"I don't know, join Metallix? I kind of like working with humans," Soup said as if he was trying to make a decision.
"Join us and we will finally show the humans who are the best" Metal Sonic replied, but he was cut off by the door closing.
"&Huh, that sounds pretty odd. Wait, a few weeks ago, Mega Man.EXE told me that there was a secret organization of robots against biological organisms planning to kill the King! Could Metallix be that organization? But why did they choose the name of one of the villains from Fleetway's Sonic the Comic in the UK&?" The Real Worlder thought as played his game without even looking at the screen. "&I better tell Game and Watch about this after the tournament's over, he probably won't like me bothering him right after a fight or something, and I don't know what hotel room he's in&." The gamer looked back at his screen. "&What? That's all there was to it? I beat that final boss without even looking! And people were calling this game good? Wait, that reminds me, I better check for any news&."
With that, Jon logged on to his world's Internet. "&More reviews of Nintendo DS games are in. It's a shame that I can't play them due to my GBA's lack of a second touch-screen, even if it can somehow play console games. And more PSP game screenshots. Funny, the fanboys keep on using Ridge Racers to show how advanced their system is. Wait, this is a message board me and my friends visited all the time, maybe I could somehow contact them by posting&?" To test this idea, the Game Master signed on to his account and did a test post by pointing out how stupid one of the posters was. "&...Weird, the server crashed when I tried to do that. Maybe I can't contact anyone&..."
Jon shrugged and continued looking for news and rumors. It wasn't like he wanted this dream to end any time soon, even if he was bored at the moment. At that point, he got an e-mail.
"&It's from Dr. Light. Oh, right, I had to meet him. With this seventy-minute-commercial-thing that should give me enough time&." After turning off his GBA, he walked out of the stadium, past the line of people that were staying overnight in order to get the best seats, and to the local Starbeans, across the street from the one Toad went to. Don't you love outdated, overused jokes?
I
I
Meanwhile, Bomb Man, Guts Man, Cut Man, Elec Man, Ice Man, and Fire Man were at the Starbeans on the opposite side of the street of the two Starbeans Jon and Toad were in. The bad joke continues.
"... I'm bored," complained Guts Man.
"... Yeah, me too," said Cut Man.
"Me too," said Elec Man.
"Me too," said Ice Man.
"Kill Wily," said Fire Man.
"HEEEEEHEEEEEEHAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA !"Bomb Man said.
"oo Dude, you seriously need to lay off the caffeine!" said Elec Man. Bomb Man, instead, started throwing bombs at random places.
"Elec Man, you b-stard, you know you shouldn't talk to Bomb Man when he's high on caffeine, you insert long list of swears," Fire Man said in a very plain, emotionless voice.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Stop the arguing!" Guts Man said as he curled up and cried in a corner.
"You know, this group has really been going downhill ever since we made Bomb Man leader," pointed out Cut Man.
"Dude, you're right," Elec Man replied.
"... Shouldn't we be trying to stop Bomb Man now?" asked Ice Man.
"... Yeah, we should be," answered Elec Man.
"Well let's go!" said Cut Man as he pulled the Rolling Cutter off his head.
"No, it's okay. I'm out of my caffeine high now," Bomb Man said as he suddenly ceased his bombing of the cafe.
"You sure?" asked Ice Man.
"HEEEEEHEEEEEEHAHAYeah."
"Is it over?" Guts Man said as he uncovered his head and came out of his corner.
"Say, didn't we decide to have a big fight to decide who would be the new leader last time Bomb Man went crazy like this?" asked Cut Man.
"Say, you're right! When are we having that, anyway? Bomb Man?" asked Ice Man.
"How about right now, in the Hand Stadium! I could kick all y'all asses!" exclaimed Bomb Man.
"Hand Stadium? I doubt they'd let us. Besides, Fire Man here will get pretty mad if we miss Metal Sonic's interview," Cut Man replied as Fire Man continued swearing. "Why don't we just vote for the leader, two at a time? I vote for Guts Man and Ice Man."
"Good idea," Ice Man commented. "Let's not vote for ourselves, though. I vote for... you and Elec Man."
"SWEET! Thanks for voting for me, dude!" exclaimed Elec Man.
"Actually, it's just because you, besides me and Cut Man, are the most normal Original Sixers and you can beat the crap out of me, so don't take it too seriously."
"You suck, man. Anyway, I vote for... Cut Man and ... I guess no one else would be better, so Ice Man."
"I guess Cut Man and Ice Man," voted Guts Man.
"insert long list of swearsCut Man insert long list of swearsIce Man insert long list of swears," Fire Man voted.
"... Well screw you! If none of you will vote me, I guess I'll vote for... Guts Man and Fire Man!" said Bomb Man.
"Let's count the votes, dudes! Bomb Man has 0, Guts Man has 2, Cut Man has 4, I have 1, Ice Man has 4, and Fire Man has 1. Cut Man and Ice Man are tied, dudes! But why did I only get one vote, dudes ;;?" Elec Man said.
"Since Cut and Ice Man are tied, we must go back to our default leader, me!" yelled Bomb Man. "Now let's go to Mr. Saturn's Pizzaria!"
"Shut up, b-tch! I'm trying to watch the interview, b-tch! Why not a tiebreaker, b-tch? One that is silent, b-tch!" Fire Man yelled.
"Why don't you have your Robot Master cards fight?" proposed Guts Man. "It's a nice nonviolent way to decide our new leader!"
Cut and Ice Man nodded in agreement and pulled out their Patented Super Robot Master Game Cards!
"Let's see, Cut Man is a Cut Element; which is weak against Guts, Plasma, and other Cut Elements, and strong against Elec and Cut; with 140 HP, 15 DEF, 40 SPD, and 40 ACC. His uncharged Rolling Cutter is a Cut Attack that hits one row for 50 damage. His charged Rolling Cutter is a Cut Attack that hits all spaces except for the middle front row for 80 damage. He has a recovery rate of 40 HP and his Support Ability is of no importance here.
Ice Man is an Aqua Element; which is weak against Elec and Air, strong against Fire and Plasma; with 120 HP, 10 DEF, 40 SPD, and 55 ACC. His uncharged Ice Slasher is an Aqua Attack that goes along a column until it hits a card, doing 80 damage. His charged Ice Slasher is an Aqua Attack that goes along a column until it hits a card, doing 140 damage. He has a recovery rate of 20 HP and his Support Ability is of no importance here," Guts Man read.
"Dude, I think we made the game a little too complicated," commented Elec Man.
"Okay, let's make this short," said Guts Man. "Even if this isn't real, this card fighting still makes me feel bad. According to my calculations, if you fought just with uncharged attacks, here's how everything would go. Ice Man would receive 20 damage every turn while Cut Man would receive 25 damage. However, in the end, it would depend on who attacks first, since by the fifth turn, both cards will have 20 HP left. If you two fought with just charged attacks, Ice Man would receive 50 damage every two turns while Cut Man would receive 85 damage every two turns, making it so that Ice Man wins very easily. Thus, Ice Man is the leader!"
"YES!" yelled Ice Man.
"I guess that makes me second-in-command," commented Cut Man.
"But what rank do all of us have, commander dudes?" asked Elec Man.
The remaining four robot masters looked at each other. "BATTLE ROYAL HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they yelled as they ran into each other, ignoring any personalities I gave them in this section.
I
I
Jon walked into the Starbeans and found Dr. Light sitting at the table. "Ah, Game Master, could you follow me into the next room?" Thankfully, he didn't sound like Elmer Fudd as he did in Mega Man 8.
Jon walked into a dark employees-only room to find himself tackled and strapped to a metal table. The lights switched on, revealing that he was a laboratory and surrounded by many well-respected scientists.
"Sorry if this is uncomfortable, but we will be taking a sample of your brain tissue," explained Dr. Light.
"Wait, what!" Jon yelled.
"Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit. We'll just be inserting this Laser-Subspace Drill through your skull."
"Why!"
"We didn't get a chance to take Kevin Keene's brain tissue, but with this new type of surgical drill, we can finally see what the brain of a Real Worlder is like without taking too much time. Oh, that reminds me, this is Prof. Bird, this is Dr. Jonesno relation, I assumethis is Prof. Gadd, owner of Starbeans, and... wait, you already know everyone here, right?"
"Uh, right..."
"Okay then. This laser drill will go straight through your head without harming it in any way, and when it comes in contact with the brain, a device will come out of a subspace warp created by the very tip, take a sample of your brain, go back into subspace, and we'll remove the laser drill. However, the process takes around thirty minutes and requires much thought from the patient, so you have to stay awake and read a sheet in a few minutes."
"Why didn't you just say that you were going to perform surgery on my in any of the messages?"
"What can I say, the idea just came a few minutes ago, and we have to return this table in about an hour, so I couldn't waste time trying to convince you to do this. Anyway, you'll have to stay very still." With that, a machine created a drill of laser and slowly went into The Game Master's skull. Jon didn't exactly like this.
"All you have to do is read these scientific documents, you have to be thinking during the entire process," explained a midget with spirally glasses, Prof. E. Gadd. He held up the papers in front of Jon's face and explained that he would turn the pages for him.
As he stayed in Videoland, Jon found himself increasingly interested in how the Game-verse worked and he read the papers like they were... an extremely exciting... short story?
WARNING! EXTREMELY LARGE AMOUNT OF EXPOSITION AHEAD!
From what he understood, there in Videoland, each game series existed in a separate dimensionthis the Game Master already figured out. However, what he didn't know is that was that each area could be reached by going into the stars found in the Main Region. As very briefly mentioned in Chapter 1, the stars to be closer and were different colors. Blue stars represented a normal game world; red stars represented locked game worlds, which can't be entered or left, either due to an enemy locking it during an attack, or due to time problems, which were explained later; and purple stars represent game worlds that exist in multiple countries at the same time, such as being in Nintendo and Sony at the same time. Apparently, the early people of Videoland traveled through the zones by climbing very tall trees and jumping into them. It was also noted that each region is a pocket dimension and not exactly separate from the Main Regions of each game-country.
One thing that interested Jon was the problems with time. As previously explained by Toad, the Real World can directly affect the Game World, and one of the main ways was the creation of sequels/prequels that take place at a different time period as the previous game. When these games are put in stores, it causes that game series' region to literally teleport through time, and during the time travel, the region is locked, everyone that originated from there is suddenly sent back, and everyone from other regions is sent elsewhere, except in the cases of Easter Eggs. When it is unlocked, the region is now in the time the just-released game takes place in.
Just to get the order of things clear, first the region time travels, then the events in the game happen, still locked. It originally happens one way, but due to the time-warping effects of plotholes, it happens the way it happens in the Real World game.
Jon wondered what could happen if there was a prequel and someone explained to them the events of a game that takes place later, but he soon found the answer. All native Videolanders have two states of mind: the first is the normal one where they can talk with people from other regions without any trouble; the other is the "Game-mind" where everyone only knows what they are required to know for the game. This way, they won't know about the events that occur in a game later in the timeline, but they will immediately recall it once the region is unlocked.
"Any questions?" asked a mole simply named The Professor, who had taken over the paper holding job from Prof. Gadd when he discovered that he actually had better things to do.
"Yeah, it says here that each of the regions time travel to fit the most recent game, but that doesn't make any sense. The Link I met was the one from Ocarina of Time when the most recent Zelda game at the time was Four Swords," the Game Master revealed.
"You see, that's why Master Hand is so famous! He managed to build a device that would separate a game world in two, so that one region would stay in the same time period all the time while the other will be the one effected by all of the time travel. He used it on the Hyrule Region as a test, with their permission of course, and when it was effected by time warping, the region split in two, the Ocarina of Time and Four Swords, the latter one being effected by time warping while the former stays the same. Master Hand also did this with the Mario world, splitting the normal world and the adventures during the time he was a baby. After the second time he used it, though, it ended up overloading and exploded."
"Actually, in that case, it would be Ocarina of Time and either Link's Awakening DX or Oracle of Ages/Seasons, depending on whether remakes count in this time thing."
"They don't, and neither do collections. Any more questions? The brain tissue removal will still last a few more moments."
"No, not really."
Don't worry folks, that's the last piece of exposition for a while.
At that moment, a stray lightning bolt from a nearby Starbeans crashed into the outer wall of that Starbean's lab, causing the laser drill to pull out quicker than it was supposed to.
"What was that?" asked Dr. Jones.
"I don't know, let's go check!" suggested Prof. Bird.
"Wait, I have a hole in my head!" pointed out Jon.
"No, it's not really a hole, just a small wound. You can just heal it with a mushroom," advised Dr. Light as he and the other doctors ran outside.
Jon took a mushroom and walked back to the stadium.
I
I
The door to Wily's apartment rang, so Diskoe decided that it would probably be a good idea to open the door.
"Hello, could you we please see Albert?" asked Dr. Light, who was with the other good scientists.
The former Poké Man beeped and retrieved Wily.
"Ah, yes, Tom, what can I do for you?" inquired the mad scientist, who was wearing his bunny slippers.
"We caught these six brawling inside one of the Starbeans, destroying much of the property." Dr. Light stepped to the side, revealing the six robot masters, who had much of their circuitry showing, and several of the other scientists gripping them by the ears. "Professor Gadd, however, promises not to press charges if you do something for him."
Wily turned to the midget, who then explained his demands. "Well, you see, about a week ago, I was working on a new invention that would give any medication a nice, refreshing cherry flavor."
"That sounds useful," Wily admitted.
"And while I was working, I decided to play some light piano music, but I used the parts in my CD player to make a device that converted I-pods to 8-tracks, so I decided to play the piano myself, but you see, I don't play the piano very well. so I worked on a robot that could play the piano for me."
"Couldn't you just get another CD player?"
"Ah, yes, I could have, couldn't I? I guess my mind was too preoccupied to think of that."
"It happens to the best of us."
"Anyway, while I was working on the robot, I left the oven on too longI was cooking dinner, you seeand it caused a fire. As it turned out, the cherry-medicine mixture was highly explosive, so the entire building ended up going up in flamesI live in a building, you see."
"I never would have guessed that."
"So, anyway, the point of the story is, I need a place to live in until my house is rebuilt, but all of the apartments are taken."
"Yeah. 'There are TONS of vacant apartments nowadays, I'm sure you can find one,' my ass," Wily mocked Victor Von Killdeath.
"You told me at the warp port that you had a rather nice apartment, so give me the apartment or I will sue."
"Hmm... decisions, decisions..."
I
I
As Jon walked down the hallway, he bumped into everyone's favorite super fighting robot, Mega Man, though he was out of his armor. "Hey Jon, have you seen Blues anywhere?" he said, referring to Proto Man by his other name.
"Well, I saw him right before I got here, but I didn't see him afterwards."
"Oh, and Jon, by the way, I saw you go into one of the Starbeans, but you didn't come out for a while and you weren't in the main room, what happened?"
"Dr. Light and a bunch of other scientists were taking a sample of my brain tissue. During that, I was forced to read a bunch of stuff on how the game-verse worked and such, and coincidently Toad explained stuff about the Eye of the Fourth Wall and so on before I left."
"That's weird, I've never heard of this Eye of the Fourth Wall..."
"You haven't? Well, it's supposed to be this thing that" the Game Master was about to say, but he was tackled by Toad, who had a cup of French Roast coffee. He dragged the nerd into one of the closets as Rock the kid-robot watched.
"What are you doing!" asked Toad.
"I was just telling Rock about the Eye of the Fourth Wall."
"Well don't! I guess it's my fault for not telling you before, but DO NOT MENTION THE EYE OF THE FOURTH WALL TO ANYONE!"
"Why not?"
"You know that paper that people having brain surgery are forced to read?"
"Yeah."
"You do? Well, that's odd. Anyway, you read about stuff like Game-Minds and all non-region-specific characters being kicked out when a game event occurs, right?"
"Right."
"That's all a result of the EotFW! When the game is changed in your world, one of the most obvious changes is that all characters from different games are removed, and all references to them are removed. The region being locked is rarely ever a result of the enemy directly activating it: the lock is usually the developers keeping all characters from different games out. The only real recent instance where the enemy locked the region himself was when Wily attacked a few months ago."
"Well, okay, but what's wrong with telling everyone that?"
"Well, if everyone knows that, they are bound to find out one of the things I told you earlier."
"What did you tell me?"
"I used Bowser and Mario as examples," Toad hinted. He then peaked out of the closet door at Rock and said, "I am not raping him," and then turned back to Jon.
"Bowser and Mario... Oh, right, the thing about how the developers would just bring Mario back to life if Bowser killed him?"
"Yeah! That means that it's impossible for most mainstream heroes and villains to die! Don't you know what that would mean if everyone knew it! The heroes wouldn't even bother to try anymore because they know that the developers would just rewrite it so that they win, and with the knowledge that they can't die, the villains will become increasingly desperate with their plans, such as sending out all of their troops at once. However, for the developers to make any changes, they first have to be influenced by what actually happens. If they see the heroes just lying around doing nothing, they won't even bother and will stop working on the franchise, and all damage will be permanent!"
"Wow, I guess that is serious. But why did you know, and why did you tell me in front of Soup?"
"All plot mages and plotologists know this. Being able to handle the information is required for becoming one. I told you because you're the Game Master and it seems like an obvious thing for you to know. Soup's known for quite a while, but he can keep a secret."
"Uh, okay then... Could you let me go now? I'm used to being held against a cold metal surface, but there's hot coffee dripping on my face."
"As long as you agree not to tell anyone about the Eye of the Fourth Wall!" Toad yelled as a "YES" and a "NO" appeared about a foot above his head, but on the ground, Jon found no way to reach it, so he simply used his controller to pause time and escaped from the mushroom's grip. After quickly pressing "YES", he walked out of the closet and returned to the normal time-speed in front of the Commentator's Box.
I
I
There was knocking heard in Wily's hotel room. "Al, are you in there?" asked a crazy man who sounded like a stereotypical mad scientist and had nothing to do with eggs. After a while, the door opened and there stood Wily, still in his bunny slippers.
"Al, I heard that Prof. E. Gadd stole your apartment from you!" exclaimed Dr. Eggman Robotnik, who stood with all of the other mad scientists. "Do you want to ruin the good scientists' hotel rooms as revenge! All of them are out tonight, so they can look at some random person's brain tissue!"
"Sure, why not! Do you mind if I take Frost Man with me? He gets lonely by himself."
I
I
After the interview, the broadcast was done and the Game Master walked to his hotel, The Hand Hotel, which offered free rooms to anyone affiliated to the tournament, including the announcers to Jon's luck. As he entered the lobby, he noticed Proto Man whistling to himself as he leaned against the wall. "Hey, Proto Man, Rock was looking for you a while ago."
"Yeah, I already talked to him. I'm just waiting here to see if I can attract any girls."
"So you aren't just a Proto-Hobo that's standing there to make it seem like you have a room?"
"I have a place to sleep."
"Oh, okay then, good luck with that girl thing," Jon said as he went to his room and played on his GBA.
I
I
"Okay, the cost is clear," said the floating robotic head that was shaped somewhat like a light bulb, and most of the bad scientists staggered out from behind the wall. Frost Man, however, crashed right through the wall.
"CRUSH! I will crush door like a popsicle!" the behemoth ice robot spouted as he ran right into one of the good doctor's rooms without opening the door.
"Seriously, Al, kouldn't you get that Ninja Man of yours instead of... him! Even that robot that was made of wood would be better than him!" asked the crocodile scientist.
"Hey, Shadow Man and Wood Man don't get lonely, unlike Frost Man. Wood Man is a really great guy and I always have a great time with him, especially that one time when I was rescued from jail and I was stressed to make the other four robots, but he managed to calm me down!" Wily attempted to counter, but it instead forced all of the other scientists to take one big step away from him. "...Did I really say that out loud?"
"I hope you didn't," responded Dr. Robotnik, whose wide eyes stretched beyond his sunglasses's rim.
"At least that explains Hard Man," revealed Nintendo-Head. "... And Quick Man... and Needle Man, Gemini Man, Snake Man, Dust Man (look at his quote from Mega Man and Bass), Stone Man, Spring Man, Turbo Man, Grenade Man, Aqua Man, heck, that explains them all!"
"No it doesn't," re-countered Wily.
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't."
"Yes it does."
"If it does, how can you explain Top Man?"
"I... I... can't ;;..."
"Kan we hurry up, the good scientists kould be koming back any time now!" the crocodile scientist pointed out.
"Right, me and Frost Man will handle Dr. Light's room, as he already seems to be in there. You can guys can handle what ever room you want."
Wily walked into the hotel room and started messing stuff up with the help of the Mega Man 8 robot master.
"Master Wily! Lookie at what I found!" Frost Man shouted in glee as he uneasily ran to the robot scientist.
"It's a picture of a little girl. It's probably some relative of his."
"Lookit," the icy android continued as he pulled out an entire box of such pictures from under the good doctor's bed.
"Unless reality was warped sometime between when we were lab partners and now, I'm pretty sure Tom doesn't have that many young female relatives..."
I
I
"...Hey, are you guys okay? You took quite a fall," said a voice.
"Huh, wha?" Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo said at the same time as they got back to the conscious realm.
"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" asked another voice as two figures helped the idiots up.
"Hey!" Eggplant Wizard yelled as he swiped himself away from his helper. "I was just in the middle of this dream where everything was like a pig but a cow-spoon was in everyone's mind, and all of the sin-ibilistic vegetarians were ka-sploded by the face of Mike Myers and Bob the Builder combined and fused at three different times with various celebrity guest stars like Lord Endionex who was easily defeated by Mr. T and his truck, but his truck was actually spelled truch and the world ka-sploded so hard that even Bob Dole felt it, and as you know, Bob Dole can destroy a single galaxy with his Bob Dole Bomber Attack alone, so that's quite a feat, and"
"EG, look at who it is!" King Hippo interrupted.
The Eggplant Wizard the eggplant wizard actually decided to take note of what the figures looked like. "Wow! Is it possible!"
"Yup," said one of the voices as all six of the figures gathered together, most of whom looked like rip offs of the Blues Brothers. "We're the famous jazz and blues band The Runaway Five."
"Awesome! What are you guys doing here!" asked King Hippo.
"Since it seems like you're big fans, you should know that we got out of the music business a while ago," said one of the members.
"No matter how much we made, we always ended up owing money to the manager," continued another.
"So, we quit and became delivery men. Now, there must be someone in the Main Region that likes us, as we have to deliver this important item to some guys in Phantomile," said yet another.
"Now, it's going on a real kooky trip, traveling all around Nintendo. It's even making a few stops in Sony, if I remember correctly! After a few monthes of traveling around, it will eventually end up right where it started: Angel Land! It's supposed to be like this way to get the Space Pirates confused or somethin'."
"Wow, cool!" exclaimed Eggplant Wizard.
"Guys, should we really be telling these guys all of this?" asked the sixth member of the Runaway Five.
"Should we beDan! Don't you know who he is!"
"No, not really," admitted Dan.
"It's King Hippo! The man who almost beat Kid Mac! None of Mac's punches could get through his expert defense until he figured out that punching him in the mouth would leave his stomach open!"
"I had 400 coins on him during the match, and even though he lost, he still put up one heck of a fight!"
"Oh, yeah, and before I forget, we should take you to the hospital."
"No, we don't need to, but can we come with you when you make your delivery? We'll get off at your destination, because we don't have any of our own in mind," explained King Hippo.
"Sure, sure, you can come along. Just get on the bus."
"YAY!" King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard said at the same time, high fived each other, and jumped onto the bus.
I
I
Thus ends day 1. Next time:
Proto Man then looked at the note, threw it into the air, and fired a fully charged blast at it. "I knew this would happen one of these days."