It's Christmas Eve in the world of Videoland. In the Main Region, especially, there was a blanket of white snow covering the ground. While all of the children played in the winter landscape, Jon Jones was watching a Christmas special. "Shiny the Kind Sheegoth," to be precise, the story of how Shiny taught everyone in the zoo the true meaning of Christmas. "&Is there even a Jesus in Nintendo&?" thought Jon as he watched it.
"No, but we celebrate it anyway," revealed Toad as he suddenly appeared.
"Great, so now you can read my thoughts?"
"No, you asked me if there was a Jesus here yesterday and I decided to answer now."
"So, is that the only reason you came?"
"Actually, this came for you in the mail from Kirby. It's a coupon for Free Vocal Cord Surgery or something," Toad replied as he pulled the paper out.
"…Free Vocal Cord Surgery?"
"Yup."
"Uh… well… okay, I guess. I'll have to thank him next time we meet… or something," Jon said, accepting the gift.
"Oh, and by the way, do you think you could go get something for me? A toy for my little brother, a video game, actually. Cerebron: The Last Empire, or something."
"I don't know much about Videoland videogames, but isn't that rated M? How old is your brother?"
"10, but don't worry, he can handle it."
"Even if he can, I'm not going to a video game store on Christmas Eve! Do you know how crowded it would be?"
"How do you know it'll be crowded? For all you know, there could be no one there."
"Even if there aren't, why can't you get someone else?"
"Because you're the only person here who doesn't know how amazing crowded stores are now and is gullible enough to think they won't be."
"…Wait, if—"
"Yoink!" Toad yelled as he threw a warp capsule at Jon.
After being sucked into the blue and red whirlpool, the Game Master found himself standing in the snow near a bunch of tall buildings—most likely a city.
OVERWORLD: FAMICOM CITYAfter looking around a bit, Jones starting walking down the street. "&It's a good thing I'm already wearing my street clothes and since I have enough money with me in my GBA, I might as well get the game. I'll just wander around until I find a store with it&," he thought as the wandering commenced.
Now Loading…..
LEVEL FIVE: The Very Late Christmas Special (This was supposed to have been made last year)
Because Pikaburgers Taste Good...
Meanwhile, on RM-Earth, home of Mega Man, in the laboratory of Dr. Light, the Light family was preparing for a Christmas party. "Doctor, are you ready?" asked Rock.
"Almost, all I have to do is put this sign on and… there," the scientist stated as he taped a sign on his suit. It read:
I am not Santa Claus
"Are you going to wear that every Christmas?" asked Rock's sister, Roll.
"Yes I am. Ever since that one Christmas where all of those children ganged up on me, asking for presents and running away crying when I didn't have any, I can't take anymore chances."
"Couldn't you trim just your beard a bit?"
Suddenly, a voice screamed out, "NO!" The green robot by the name of Auto jumped out from behind a couch. "The long gray beard of Sant—Tom represents all that is good in this word with its blinding whiteness even though it's gray, and to cut it would be to give in to all that is evil in this world! Even if it means people would confuse him with an inferior being like Dr. Li—Santa Claus, Dr. Lisanta Claus, Dr. Limbs and Claws as his real name is, Tom must not trim his beard!"
"Actually, Auto," started Dr. Light, "I have been getting food stuck in here recently, so I guess I could get it cut a bit."
In reaction to this, Auto let out a Darth Vader-style, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-I
-I
Jon looked around the city. "&There're a lot of cloth stores around here. You know, that reminds me, my "action clothes" are just what I've been wearing when I came to Nintendo. Blue T-shirt, blue jeans, and black tennis shoes. Of course, they were upgraded with all of that anti-crap stuff, but it's still not very Game Master-y&." Jon took off his glasses and started cleaning them of the sleeve of his shirt. You forgot he had glasses, didn't you? "&I should at least get a cape or maybe a symbol on my shirt or something. I guess I'll try to see if any of these stores have anything… But then again, I never felt comfortable in cloth stores… I'll decide after I get that game for Toad&."
After wandering around the urban establishment for a while, Jon finally found a game store—Game Venders Unlimited. Unfortunately, there was a huge line outside of it. "&Well crap&," he thought. After a minute of deliberation, the Game Master got in the back of the queue. "&At least they're more organized around here than in Real Life&," he commented in his mind. He pulled out his GBA, as it looked like it would take a while. After a few more minutes, he heard someone yell.
"YO! DUDE! DUDE!" someone called across the street.
Jon looked at the line to see who was being called. To his surprise, only he and the one in front of him were "dudes", everyone else was a middle-aged woman, most likely mothers. Sighing, he turned to face the callers.
"YO! YO! OVER! HERE!" a snifit in a red outfit continued.
"&Oh God no, I thought I wouldn't have to see them again after Monstro Town. You'd think that with so many dimensions with cities of their own, it'd be hard to encounter people you met before&," he thought. "&Should I talk to them&?"
"YO! YO! YO YO YO SHIIIIIIIIIIIII! DUDE, I! JUST ACTED LIKE AN EXTREME! RAPPING YOSHI OR SOMETHING! AWESOME!"
"Wazzup, that's freaking awesome, man!" yelled a paler snifit in black, with several pieces of jewel-encrusted gold, though they were most likely fake. "Let me try! Yo yo yo shiiiiiiiiii!"
"YO YO YO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
"Yo yo yo shiiiiiiiiii!"
"&It doesn't look like they'll stop unless I go over there&," Jon thought. He turned to the guy in front of him. "Hey, can you save my spot?"
"Sure," he replied.
"Thanks," Jon responded as he walked over to the group of six.
"We've been, like, totally, like calling you for, like, a, like, couple of, like, minutes," explained the snifit in pink.
"YO YO YO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" the red snifit continued.
"Red, Black, you can discontinue now," Axem Green in his normal form said, looking towards something when he said the italicized word.
"OH! RIGHT! ANYWAY, DUDE, HOW'RE YOU! DOING!"
"I'm fine, but just because this medal says we're allies doesn't mean you can call me from across the street," Jon said.
"That's alright wi' us, man," said Black.
Jones looked in the shadows at the sixth member of the group, who was in blue and listening to an MP3 player. "Who's he?"
"Him? That's just Blue, our neoteric member of the Axem Rangers Assassination Force. Don't worry about him, he's harmless," explained Green.
Out of nowhere, Blue cut both of his wrists and screamed.
"He's a modicum angsty, though."
"o0 Uh, okay… So… uh… is there any other reason you called me over?"
"Red, like, wanted to, like, say—" Pink started.
"—WE'RE GETTING THESE TOTALLY! AWESOME WEAPONS THAT ARE! EXACTLY THE SAME! AS THE ONES WE HAVE NOW!" Red yelled.
"But d'er all shiny 'n crap!" Black explained further.
"ROCK ON!"
With that, the two snifits headbutted each other and their heads exploded.
"WTF?" everyone there said.
"Splooge!" Yellow added as a sound effect.
After a few seconds, the smoke cleared, revealing wires, circuitry, and metal in the necks of the two—they were actually robots! The robots then started attacking everyone.
"Stand back, Mr. Jones, we'll handle this!" Green said.
"Uh, sure…" Jon said as he backed away and got back in line.
-I
-I
Meanwhile, in another subdimension of Nintendo, on an island floating in the skies of Sonic the Hedgehog's world, a humanoid red echidna guarded a large green gem.
It was a cold and cloudy day on the mystical Angel Island, so the area's guardian, Knuckles the Echidna, used the Master Emerald he guarded to raise the island above the clouds. Once the deed was finished, the red echidna walked down the stairs leading away from the altar where the emerald was kept, and waited at the base, guarding its immense powers from any intruders. It was a boring life—in fact, until a couple of years ago, no one even tried to steal it—but it was the reason he was born. Surrounding the altar for the Master Emerald were seven pillars meant for the Chaos Emeralds, but their powers clashed with those of the main gem and left the floating island crashing to Earth. This dilemma was solved when Prower Ind. (owned by boy genius Miles "Tails" Prower) was made a subsidiary of Gadd Ind. and they developed a strange electromagnetic field that shielded the chaos energy the gems gave off at rest, and they were kept in a small compartment in the altar. That meant that Knuckles would be able to watch over all eight of the emeralds at the same time, which was very helpful, with the evil Dr. Eggman Robotnik constantly after them.
"&Speaking of Dr. Robotnik&," the echidna thought as he laid at the base of the steps, "&he hasn't been around for a while&…"
Before he could give more thought to this, Knuckles heard a bubbling sound from the altar. He shot his head around to see the source of the sound: a tall, lanky creature that seemed to be made of water, with insect-like eyes and a visible brain.
"Chaos? What are you doing here?" the dreadlock-wearing echidna asked. The water creature responded with a series of sounds that sounded like drips.
A few years ago, Robotnik broke open the Master Emerald and released Chaos onto the world, claiming he was the god of destruction. While he was, indeed, powerful, it turned out he wasn't a god of destruction, just angry. To this day, Knuckles still hasn't figured out exactly what he is or his purpose. After Sonic calmed the fully powered Perfect Chaos by attacking his brain with his super form, the weakened Chaos 0 returned to the Master Emerald. Since then, he has popped up in times of great danger.
"Is something going to happen soon?" the guardian queried.
"… -drip-… -drip-" the creature answered.
"Station Square? What's going on?"
"-drip-"
"Demonic toy that will enslave everyone at midnight? Well, either way, if its there and not here, it doesn't concern me."
"-drip-… -drip-"
"You need want an action figure for Christmas that can only be found in Station Square? Do water beasts even celebrate Christmas?"
"-drip--drip-"
"Well, since you're asking, I'll go get it. You guard the altar while I'm gone."
"-drip--drip-… -drip-"
"The Chaos Emeralds? You want me to take them with me? Well, okay, whatever you say." The echidna grabbed them out of their compartment and started running toward the edge of the island with superhuman speed. When he got there, he jumped into the air and started gliding along the wind currents toward the mainland. While Knuckles is fast and strong, he isn't the smartest person in the world.
-I
-I
"I found this mark on one of the parts. It seems to be the word "Doctor" with a figure of what appears to be a person with a very large afro," Green stated as he looked through the remains of the Red and Black bots.
"Like, what could that, like, totally mean?" asked Pink. The rampaging robots, of course, drew a crowd, but they quickly dispersed once the action was over. As it turned out, Red and Black were still in the bathroom and they came back soon afterwards. After picking up the parts, the Axem Rangers, too, started walking away from the area, leaving only the video game store and its long queue. Why was there a line to a store that was already open? From what Jon heard from the people in the line, the shop's owner was only letting in 20 people at a time to prevent crowding.
"&Damn me and my willingness to do things for people&," thought the Game Master. He soon noticed it was getting dark. "&I'm getting kind of hungry. Maybe I'll go get dinner.&." Jon quickly yelled to the Axem Rangers, who were still in yelling range. "Hey, can you do me a favor!"
Suddenly, the six rangers started running back. "YEAH! WHAT IS IT!" yelled Red.
"Could you save my spot in line?"
"What, you gonna do a girl, Game Mizzasta?" asked Black, trying to act ghetto.
"Actually, I was just going to get a sandwich and maybe an apple pie."
"SANDWICH AND PIE! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! VERY NICE innuendo my FRIEND! VERY NICE!"
"… Just save my space, okay?"
"NO! PROBLEMO!"
They just stood there.
"…Well, do it!" Unknown to Jon, the Ally Medal glowed in response to this.
Thus, Jon Jones set off on his long journey for food. He managed to find a restaurant a block from the store and next to a bank—McMickey's to be precise. As Jon neared the place of cheap, unhealthy but tasty food, he heard people screaming from the bank.
"&Screaming? But what now? Get food, or help the people in the bank? Food… bank… Gah, I can't believe I'm thinking this&," he thought to himself as decided that he could wait for dinner and ran into the bank.
As soon as he got in, three guns were pointed toward his head. "Hey, you, get on the floor with your arms spread!" ordered one of the gunmen, a koopa troopa with a red and orange cloth covering his mouth and sunglasses over his eyes.
Yelping, the Game Master immediately obeyed and dropped to the floor. Two of the gunmen turned to the rest of the people while the third kept his eyes on Jon and the door. "&Well, this sucks. What was I thinking? …Wait, what am I doing now? I'm the Game Master&!" With that thought, he quickly reached into his pockets and pressed the PAUSE button of his controller.
"Put your arms flat on the ground, ---wipe!" the gunman, a waddle dee, ordered. Right as Jones did, time froze and he quickly walked out of the weapon's path to the bank's entrance, where he had a clear view of all three robbers, and he unpaused with his Light Gun drawn.
During this time, he thought of the perfect thing to say in response. "No, you put your hands up. I am Jon Jones, Game Master. If you don't, I'll shoot! Everyone else, leave." While Jon kept his gun aimed on the three criminals, they dropped their guns and put their hands in the air as the captives ran out of the bank. "Okay, the police will be here soon, so don't try anything."
At that point, the first robber, the koopa, dropped a red and white orb from its shell along his left leg and kicked it toward Jon. As it erupted in light, the robbers quickly took the chance to grab their guns and take cover behind a stall, as the Game Master was still blocking the exit. When the light returned to normal, in front of the orb was a large dark-red lizard with sharp claws, a crest, and a long tail with its tip on fire, standing on its hind legs at a height of about 3 feet.
Robber B sent out his Charmeleon!
"Charmeleon, use Metal Claw on Captain N, here!" ordered the koopa.
"Char," the pokémon replied as its already nasty-looking claws transformed into longer metal sickles and started clawing at the Game Master, but Jon managed to wave dash backwards, barely avoiding the attack, and shot a series of A-blasts at the red lizard. Charmeleon was hit and jumped away from the area when the attack ended, his claws transforming back to normal afterwards.
"Use Ember until you run out!"
The pokémon followed its orders, firing a series of 25 small, explosive balls of flames toward the Real Worlder, saying one syllable of his name for every shot fired. Jon managed to dodge and block most of the blasts, but two managed to hit him.
Between the events at the Hand Stadium and now, Jon discovered that he could not only put up a shield around him, but he also had a barrier permanently surrounding his body that seemed to have developed after his Region Sickness was cured (I swear, this is the last power-up of Jon himself for a while). This was very convenient, since, as he discovered, items that raised your HP not only tasted horrible, but they barely had any effect, usually only raising HP by 1. Unfortunately, this permashield as he called it was even weaker than his normal barriers, so another Ember attack would have surely taken it down.
"Charmeleon, use Flamethrower!"
"&Flamethrower? If this is the right game, that means the charmeleon is only one or two levels away from a charizard. I hope it doesn't evolve in the middle of this battle like that one episode of the animé where Ash fights Sabrina, one of the few good episodes&," Jon thought.
The lizard reeled its head back and thrust it forward as a powerful flame shot out of its mouth. Due to its size and speed, the Game Master had no time to dodge it, so he put up his barrier. The blast seared against the red energy shield with a moderately loud roar and Jon felt hot even with the shield up, but it thankfully didn't break under the pressure, though it was weakened.
"Use Iron Tail!"
The tail of the pokémon enlarged and turned into metal as it charged toward Captain N, and as it came close enough, it spun in the air, and swung his tail into the ground where his opponent was, but Jon managed to jump up and air-dodge the attack.
"&Iron Tail? That isn't one of the moves a charmeleon learns normally. He must have used TM 23&," he thought as he fired a B-Blast while in the air. The blast hit its target and sent the lizard flying a couple of feet onto its back.
Suddenly, when it got back up, the flame on the lizard's tail shifted from orange to a bright blue as it screamed, "CHAAARRRR!"
"You're going down now, Game Master!" the robber taunted. "All of Charmeleon's flame attacks are even stronger, so Charmeleon, use Flamethrower!"
The red creature forced a ray of flames out of his mouth toward the nerd, now blue, but by now Jon had figured out the timing of the attack and successfully wavedashed out of the way. He then wavedashed toward the lizard and, with his gun in his hand, he punched and pressed the A button at the same time for a forward smash attack that knocked the pokémon back a few feet.
"Metal Combo now!"
"&Combo&?"
As the red crested lizard was sent back, it formed a Metal Claw on its feet, which dug into the ground, and he sprung toward the startled opponent. It then formed a Metal Claw on its hands and reeled both arms back. At this point, Jon dodged to the left and, the charmeleon swung its claws towards him, barely missing. However, the attack forced the lizard to spin in the air, and at just the right moment, he used Iron Tail and struck the Game Master with great force, sending him across the room into a table, causing his permashield to shatter.
"&Crap! He's smarter than I gave him credit for&," Jon thought.
"Hey, why can't we just shoot him now?" asked the Waddle Dee robber.
"Because, Charmeleon gets really pissed if I try to help him beyond giving orders and he'll probably attack us or something," explained the koopa pokémon trainer. "Now, Charmeleon, finish him off with Flamethrower!"
The lizard obeyed its directions and used the flame attack, but Jon managed to roll out of the way and fired a B-Blast. The attack struck and sent him into the air. When he landed, the charmeleon's eyes turned into spirals, signifying a KO.
JON WINS
YOU GOTTEN… $25
The charmeleon turned into light and zipped back to its owner's pokéball, who was still hiding behind the table.
"Damn! That was my only pokémon above level 10!"
"Okay, now let's shoot him!" the waddle dee ordered. They started firing at Jon from behind the stall, but the barrier stopped all of the bullets, though barely.
"----, they aren't working!" cried the third robber, a crocodile-like monster called a kremlin.
At this point, Jon slid a card through his controller and it started glowing. He threw it at the ones behind the stall and it turned into a piano--if you don't remember, this was his first upgrade, gotten in Level 2. The instrument crashed through the furniture and the robbers, and though it was much less deadly than Jon's laser, it wouldn't be painless. Satisfied with his work, the Game Master walked up to them and pressed the START button on the piano, turning it back to the GameCube controller. Suddenly, the koopa robber spun out of the area in his shell and when he was a safe distance away, his body parts popped out.
"&He must have used his shell to block the attack&," thought Captain N as he adjusted his glasses.
The troopa started talking. "Look, after you beat that charmeleon, you and I both know you can kick my ass in a straight fight!"
Jon chuckled. Only half a year ago, he was the school's punching bag.
"However, you should stop to think about something—why haven't the police arrived yet?" Jon looked at him in bewilderment. He was right, the police should have been there by now.
"Let me tell you why, there's this new thing that's been hot on the market called the Egg Skull."
"Egg Skull? That sounds like something of Robotnik's!"
"It is, and some other guy worked with him, though he didn't show up when these were auctioned off. A bunch of them were bought by crime lords and gang leaders and such, and while they aren't as powerful as most of Eggman's mechs, it gets the job done." At this point, the koopa discreetly pressed a button on a small device attached to his shell.
"I get it, you're willing to tell me information on these Egg Skulls if I go easy on you, right?"
"Yeah, and I'll show you how they are firsthand!" As soon as he said that, the wall behind him broke down, sending up dust everywhere.
"… Crap, I fell for one of those action show clichés, didn't I?" commented Jon.
As the dust cleared, Captain N noticed that the mechanical suit, while not quite a giant robot, was still quite large—around Gigantor's size, if you can imagine. The head was in the shape of a skull, with strange frills coming out of the sides and there were three distinct holes in the skull—two for eyes and one for a glass-covered oval mouth where the koopa was clearly visible controlling the machine, which made him wonder about the point of the eyes. Below the skull head was an upside-down trapezoidal body with a stripe going across the center. To the sides of the body were five circles connected together to form two arms. On the end of the left arm, from Jon's view, there was a spiked mace about as large as the Game Master himself. On the right, there was a hexagon with two slightly obtuse angles separating away from the sphere that the polygon was attached to, and with another pair of obtuse angles, the sides turned straight down and they met with a pair of right angles. A large gattling gun was on the bottom of this figure. On the bottom of the body was a rectangular prism the length of the trapezoid's shortest side but only half as wide. On the back of the mech—most of it behind the rectangle, but some behind the trapezoid—there were a pair of missile turrets extending out to the side. Two longer rectangles, extending downward and to the sides, were attached to the rectangle. These longer rectangles themselves each attached to a cube around half Jon's size, and the cubes attached to a wheel twice the Game Master's size. Though he couldn't see it from his point of view, there was a ladder on the back leading up to the control room.
On the right side of the trapazoid's stripe, from Jon's view, there was the egg-shaped emblem Jon expected to see, with a mustache out to the sides, a pair of sunglasses, and a mad grin. What he didn't expect, however, was what was written over the symbol—the words "Dr. W" in bright orange against the gray and black robot.
"&Dr. Wily and Dr. Robotnik teaming up? What all of those fanfiction predicted is coming true&!" Jon thought, missing the point that the fruit of their labor was going to kick his ass.
Battle... BEGIN!
The Egg Skull started off by smashing the mace forming its right hand where Jon was, but the Game Master quickly dodged and started shooting at the now-open arm, which was stuck to the ground. In reaction to this, the other arm, housing a gattling gun, started firing at Captain N, but he managed to put his shield up. After a dozen shots or so, however, the shield broke, leaving Jon stunned and defenseless, but the attack knocked him back behind a counter, so the koopa didn't know exactly where he was. To solve this problem, the burglar shifted gears in the Egg Skull and dashed right into the general area Jones was. Luckily, by this time, the Game Master was no longer stunned and wavedashed out of the way, continuing to shoot the mace arm. After a couple of moments, the mace arm fell off the mechanical suit.
"----" the robber said as he turned the suit around and started running away.
"Hey! Come back here!" Jon yelled to no avail. He then paused time and ran after the Egg Skull, which was well down the road now, to Captain N's dismay. As soon as he reached the attack vehicle, the Real Worlder jumped onto the ladder on the back. When he got a good grip, he unpaused. After the initial shock of movement, Jon fired at the gun arm, which the driver didn't seem to notice, but when the arm fell apart due to the attacks, the koopa skidded to a stop. At this point, Jon began firing at the entrance to the control room in the lower back of the skull. Realizing what was going on, the koopa activated an electric field on the surface of the machine, shocking the Game Master and knocking him off. Thankfully, by this point, the permashield had somewhat recovered and lessened the attack, but it broke again afterwards.
"You may think you got rid off all my weapons," the koopa yelled from his seat, "but I still got these!"
Realizing that he was referring to the missile pack, Jon pressed PAUSE and time froze soon after the projectiles left their boxes. Like usual, the Game Master turned the missiles around in their frozen states, causing them to hit the shooter instead of him.
After a bit of time to recover, the burglar stated, "Maybe you can reflect missiles, but you can't with these!" After that, the eyes of the skull glowed and a large green energy shot blasted out of it toward Jon, causing an explosion as it hit the ground. He actually could have reflected that, but he didn't want to waste his Time Points and instead wavedashed out of the way.
By this point, Jon got an idea. He double-jumped into the air, shooting a series of A-Blasts at the skull head, and at the apex, he slid an E-Card through the top of his controller. As soon as he did that, he dropped the transforming device towards the Egg Skull, and it turned into a piano, crashing into the head with enough force to break the casing and shut down the systems, but thankfully not so much as to badly wound the pilot.
JON WINS!
YOU GOTTEN… $32
Right as the Game Master landed, he retrieved his controller and pulled the robber out of the wreck. Soon after that, he called the police and told them about the two robbers at the bank and the one in the street.
"&Strange, the police didn't seem to be that busy. Maybe the robber was lying about all of the other Egg Skulls… But, still, it wouldn't be bad if I made sure, and besides, Wily and Robotnik are obviously up to something, so I could use the Egg Skull to find them&," thought Jon. "&Wait... Wily… Dr. Light! He should be able to find a way to track the other Egg Skulls and find the doctors&!"
With that, Jon quickly pulled out the warp capsule leading back to the castle and activated it. He then walked into the red and blue swirl created by it and disappeared from the street, which was now empty due to the battle.
-I
-I
"&Hmm, this place looks as good as any&," thought Knuckles as he stopped in front of a toy store in Station Square. Due to its size, it was able to hold a lot of people, and as a result, there was no line, so he just walked in. This proved to be a mistake, as despite the tranquil outside appearance of the store, it was pure pandemonium inside. The aisles were rivers of people and plastic, with boxes and opened toys flying into the air like fish and landing with a splash. The echidna would have run away from this, but he was already sucked into the current. He screamed as he floated down with the flow, but it became merely another part of the deafening roar of the human waterway. From the rapids, he heard a voice strangely like a little girl say, "Mommy, I want this one!" as his dreadlocks were grabbed. "Okay sweetie, let's go!" the mother-like voice responded and Knuckles' direction changed toward the counter and he was shoved into a cart. At that point, an object fell in the echidna's hand out of everything that was flying through the air. It was the action figure Chaos wanted, to his surprise.
"&The toy? I better hold on to this. The people carrying me should bring me out of the store&," he thought, suppressing all of his thoughts about how horrible this situation was. He could have knocked everyone away, but he didn't feel like getting in trouble with the police, especially on Christmas.
Since the cashiers refused to work that Christmas, there were only those self-serve-things where you scan and bag everything yourself. It took a while, but that one parent managed to get to one and started scanning everything, but only after staring at the directions for about a minute. After that, she just bought everything in their cart without looking twice, even the action figure, and she didn't seem to notice that Knuckles wasn't picked up on the register over the noise. Following another minute of trying to fit everything in the bags, the mother and the daughter walked out of the store, where there was actual room. At that point, Knuckles hopped out of the bag he was in, with the action figure in hand, and after thanking them and paying for the action figure, he contacted Sonic.
"I still don't know why Chaos wanted me to bring the emeralds," Knuckles said to himself as he brought them out. When the action figure got close to the emeralds, it started glowing, turning from a sinister black and white to a light blue and yellow. "..Well, that was weird. Well, I better get back to Angel Island."
That ends Knuckles' part in the story.
Author's Note: In case you were wondering, I was originally going to have a parody of the Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions Agent Smith battles with Super Knuckles and an army of Soccer Moms here, but most of the jokes I planned to include were either visual or audio jokes that wouldn't work written down, such as a bunch of pigeons flying by Knux John Woo style and him grabbing the pigeons to use as weapons, so I scratched that idea.
-I
-I
Meanwhile, on a small hill in the Main Region, centered conveniently near several cities, four robots were playing a game of cards while another watched.
"Hit me," said Bass, and was given a card.
Diskoe gesticulated wildly, and was given a card as a result.
"Ha!" Crystal Man yelled as he set down his cards. In reaction to this, the third player, Guts Man screamed, only to be backhanded by Bass.
"I have a straight! And if my prediction is correct, that's higher than all of yours!"
"Uh, please don't hurt me, but I have a flush…" Guts Man shyly remarked. He slowly reached for the money being bet on, but when he noticed Crystal Man's twitch, he screamed and started running down the green hill with several loud clanks, soon disappearing into the night.
The remaining four robots—Crystal Man, Bass, Diskoe, and Treble—waited for a couple of minutes.
"…Yeah… I don't think he's coming back this time," the psychic robot commented.
Diskoe beeped and gesticulated.
Bass shrugged. "Nah, I don't feel like it. He's always been too big of a baby, maybe a week or so alone will do some good."
The gem on top of Crystal Man's head gleamed. Crystal Man was around the size of the average human, and like most other robot masters, a thick pair of armor, turquoise in his case, surrounded his calves and were supported by large, but flat, shoes/feet that were white for him. On his knees were a pair of small crystal balls, and his upper legs were pretty much black bars that connected to his upper body. Most of his upper body was encased in turquoise armor, but there was a red strip going across his belly, and above that, there was a crystal ball about twice as large as the ones on his knees, with similarly sized ones at the tips of his shoulder. His arms, like his legs, were black bars, but before the white gloves that ended them, each arm had two more crystal balls. Most of Crystal Man's head was incased in the turquoise armor, except his mouth, which had lighter armor, and his red eyes. On his forehead was another large crystal ball, and to the sides of his head were red circles that jutted out. "Hey Bass, Wily's about to call! In 3… 2… 1."
Nothing happened.
"Your predictions suck ass, Crystal."
"No, just give it some time! 3… 2… 1!"
Treble the robot wolf started beeping.
"Bam! My predictions may be a couple of seconds too early, but they're accurate!"
Sighing, Bass went up to his robot pet and pressed a button on his back, revealing a television screen with speakers, volume control, and a headphone jack. On the screen was Bass's, and most of the other robot masters', creator, Dr. Albert Wily. "Bass, what are you doing? I just learned that one of our Egg Skulls has been destroyed a few minutes ago, and you aren't even at the wreck yet! Why aren't you wearing your ES Radar Device?"
"That thing looks stupid as hell! I'm not going to wear it!"
"What are you talking about? It's like an awesome colored eye patch! All you kids these days wear eye patches, right? The whole pirate look?"
"Why do I have to do anything anyway? Is it my fault the guy didn't send an error report for analysis?"
"Just do it!"
Sighing, Bass pulled a device out of one of Treble's compartments—a power-level scanner from Dragon Ball Z, or at least something that looked like it. He put it on, with the green eyepiece covering his right eye. After pressing a button on the main part of the device, which was attached to where his ear would be, the inside of the eyepiece flashed with several numbers and an arrow pointing out the direction of the Egg Skull wreck.
"You know, on second thought this isn't too bad," Bass jokingly said. "You know what, I think I'll go name myself after a vegetable and start working in a planet selling business with Freeze Man, and along the way I'll rebel and become rivals with another vegetable man, kill some guy, and do his girlfriend later. Oh, and maybe I'll make all of my head stick up and have it turn gold whenever I'm having a hard time on the toilet!"
"… That was a reference to something, wasn't it?" asked Wily.
"…Yeah, Dragon Ball Z, the crappy show you stole this design from. You know, with big sweaty guys screaming for 20 episodes at a time."
"I've never heard of this… Dragon Ballz or whatever, but it sounds interesting. I'll be sure to watch it. Either way, you need to get to work."
"Jeez, fine," Bass finally ended the conversation by turning off the screen on Treble, which was then retracted back into his body.
The black-armored robot master with fish fins on his helmet turned to his two remaining partners. "Well, we have to go to the wreck, but let's finish the game first."
Diskoe gesticulated wildly.
"Don't worry, if my prediction is correct, there's going to be a fourth player in 10.. 9.. 8…" Crystal Man started.
At that point, a man in red and gray, with a yellow scarf and black sunglasses, walked past the hill while whistling.
"Dammit, I was late this time!"
Diskoe beeped rather loudly.
"Who, me?" asked the red-clothed man.
Diskoe moved his arms around like a walnut in a hurricane.
"Fine, I guess. I was planning on going to a Christmas party, but I probably wasn't going to go anyway." The gray figure walked up the hill toward them.
Bass looked at him carefully. "Wait, don't I know you?"
"Aren't you Bass, the guy that's always trying to kill Mega Man?" asked the red guy.
"Yeah, and you're that red guy that's always helping Mega Man, uh, Proto Man, right?"
"Yeah, I am. So anyway, what's the name of the game?"
"Uh, well, Crystal! What's the name of the game?"
Crystal looked at the two. "I don't know. It's some card game I pulled out from the distant future that's almost like poker."
"Okay. I have about 100 coins with me," Proto Man responded.
"That's fine, you can just join the game that's already going on."
Bass and Proto Man sat down and they started playing the future poker.
"So, you're a Light-bot, right?" asked Crystal Man.
"Yeah," the red bomber responded.
"But you're cool, right?" queried the black robot. "I mean, judging from your sunglasses, you don't have a stupid face and retarded "this world is made of love and peace" catchphrases?"
"No, not really."
"Well, that's good."
-I
-I
"Dr. Light, can I get look around here before we go to the party!" Rock said in an excited voice. He, Dr. Light, and Roll were standing in front of a comparatively empty toy store in the city.
"Sure, just don't take too long," said the doctor as Roll didn't do anything in particular.
Rock went in and looked around. After a few minutes, a man in a dark trenchcoat and a robber's mask came in and held a gun to the cashier's throat. "All right, give me all of your cash!" One of the other kids in the store threw a The Batman toy at the robber, hitting him in the back. Angry, the robber leaped behind the counter, grabbed the cashier by the throat, and pointed the gun at the kids. "If another one of you does that--"
"Hey! Give me back my The Batman toy!" the kid yelled, apparently forgetting that he threw it.
"Yeah! BRING ON THE BATMAN!" another kid screamed. The other kids cheered in agreement, repeating the "Bring on the Batman!" line occasionally.
"SHUT THE ---- UP! Batman the Animated Series beats the crap out it any day! Though to tell the truth, The Batman seems to be improving with each season, and that movie, The Batman vs. Dracula, is actually pretty good, but B:TAS still PWNS IT! " the robber yelled as he aimed his gun. However, right before he could fire, a plasma blast knocked it out of his hand.
"That may be true, but you're still going to jail!" the fully-armored Mega Man said, posing in a true superhero fashion, complete with the cheesy line. He then beat the crap out of the robber and was about to call the police, when...
"Hey look! He's called the Blue Bomber 'cause he's blue!" one of the kids pointed out.
"Blue! Blue! Blue! Blue!" the kids chanted, chasing after the robot. Once he got out, Mega Man teleported away, presumably where he was supposed to meet up with his creator, Doctor Light, leaving the children behind.
-I
-I
Jon appeared outside of the Main Region's castle, a larger version of Princess Peach's without the stain glass window, where the sky was pitch black, except for the star-warps littering the sky and the several lights shining from the building. The Game Master ran past the gardens and the bridge into the door, where he found someone waiting.
"So, did you get the game?" asked Toad and he stood in the middle of the main hall.
Jon raised an eyebrow as if he didn't know what he was talking about, but then remembered. "Oh, right, that. I'm having someone else get it for me, because there's something important I have to do. So, I don't have it right now."
"WRONG ANSWER!" As Toad said that, he pulled out his bazooka and threw it into the air.
"I Ran" by either A Flock of Seagulls or Bowling for Soup, your choice, starting from the "and I ran" part
As the gray bazooka spun in the air, various pieces of white armor flew onto it, and when the metamorphosis was complete, the image of a white tiger appeared behind it. It then fell back into Toad's hands.
End "I Ran"
Captain N looked at the new bazooka. "…So, is there… anything different about it?"
"Not really," replied the mushroom. "It just has +1 speed and –1 power, which isn't much of a difference."
"Oh, okay then." Jon would have reasoned with him about this, but that hasn't worked before.
Just as Toad was about to fire and Jon was about to dodge, a screeching voice halted them.
"Toad! Honey! You have to get ready for the Christmas party!" yelled the window-breaking voice.
Toad turned towards the voice. "In a minute Mom!"
"Are you bothering the caterers again!"
"I said in a minute!"
"You are, aren't you!" Following that, some thuds started coming from the nearby staircase. "I swear, I'm going to have a heart attack, if you keep getting in trouble!" At this point, a toad around Toad's size, except older and with pink spots, came walking down the hall.
"No, Mom, please don't!"
Toad's mother then grabbed Toad by the eyelashes and dragged him down the hall. "I swear! Why can't you act like a normal toad! Why haven't you gotten married!"
Jon started walking along with them. "Uh… Hey, Toad, do you happen to know where the warp capsule to Tokio, Texas is?"
"The one is Region SI?" Toad said out of pain. "There isn't a warp there, it's too small a city."
"But isn't Dr. Light an important scientist?"
"Of course, but get with the times! Everyone uses phones!"
"Why, can't you just teleport everywhere?"
Toad gave him a strange look. "I thought you knew that was just us and a couple of other people—those pocket warps can't exactly be mass produced. Everyone else uses warpports to travel between regions. Also because the pocket warps aren't easy to make, they are just linked to important areas, and that doesn't include Tokio, TX. The warps leading to other parts of the castle were just made last year. If you want to contact Dr. Light, just call him."
"Where can I find his phone number?"
"Just run the phone number program on any of the computers here and use a phonvision."
"Okay, thanks." Following that, Jon left.
"… What?" asked Toad's mom.
Jon went to his room and jacked onto the Castle's network.
The sky in this computer network was black with the GameCube symbols flying everywhere, and the ground was red with orange borders a few inches from the edge. The Game Master tapped in front of him to create an options screen, with a keyboard, in mid air and he pressed the, "Applications" tab at the top to find a list of all applications he had access to in the area, grouped into folders, of course. He managed to find the phone book program Toad told him about and activated it.
Jon inserted the needed data into the new window.
Search by name:
Search by region:
Region: SI
Planet: Earth
Country: United States
State: Texas
County:
Jon was stuck on the county part, so he looked through the choices until one caught his eye, the Right County. "&… Might as well&."
County: Right
Jon pressed ENTER, and was presented with a large amount of phone numbers. Because of the town's small size, he quickly found the man he was looking for. "Dr. Light, Thomas. 555-9614. Bingo."
The Game Master dialed the number into the nearby phonvision (visual phone) and was answered. "Hello, this is the residence of Dr. Thomas Light. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we will be out this Christmas Eve. We'll be at 8753 Palmer Rd, Tokio, TX. If it's very important, call at 555-8190."
Captain N called that number and asked the one answering to get Dr. Light. The scientist answered and Jon explained the situation to him.
"Well, that sounds serious," said Light from the other side of the phonvision. "I'll be there right away." He hung up.
-I
NEXT TIME ON CAPTAIN N: 2004!
"Instrumental Version Captain N 2004 Theme Song"
"After a brief cutaway to some other characters' Christmas, we'll see what role Bass and the crew play with this, what it has to do with a tophat, and watch as I save Christmas! You'll also find out important things like why I bothered to make a Christmas special when it takes months at a time just to make one part of one chapter.
"Be sure to watch/read Captain N Level 5: The Very Late Christmas Special Part 2: Battle Atop The Egg Carrier! I Must Save Christmas! Sigmasonic X Makes Stupid Animé Episode Titles!"
"Why didn't the Ch. 4 previews get this treatment?"