Bitterly Unrequited

Chapter 10 - The Potion's Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Harry Potter in any way. If I did, it would be called Severus Snape and the Order of the Phoenix, Severus Snape and the Half-Blood Prince, etc. So...yeah. Again, I really don't own it.

A/N: Hello, dear readers - if there are any. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review it if your do (or if you don't, for a matter of fact). The next few chapters should be up fairly soon.

Severus sat in the dormitory, contemplating this new command from the Dark Lord. He was to weave a twisted web of treachery, to become a double spy of sorts – it was dangerous, to say the least, but to fail to do the Dark Lord's wishes would undoubtably be more fatal. He glanced over at his room mates, wishing they would be quiet and let him think, but he knew they would never give him his much-needed peace.

He snuck out of the castle from one of his various secret passageways he had access to. He ran through the forest, heading for his small sanctuary of solitude, where he knew that he'd be able to concentrate and think things through logically.

But when he reached the clearing, he was greeted by a familiar sight.

"Hello, Severus," said Lily Evans calmly.

"Lily..." Snape began, his heart pounding, trying to decide the best way to avoid the truth of this place – but what if she already knew? "How did you know about..."

"I know, Severus," she replied, staring up at him, her expression hurt. "I knew that James was acting strangely, and I knew that something wasn't quite right. James didn't come to dinner that night, Severus, because he was feeling a bit sick – yet the James I encountered was perfectly healthy, and the James that awoke on the couch in the Common Room didn't remember feeling ill, either. He also didn't remember why he was in the Common Room instead of his dorm. But our discussion of the Polyjuice Potion with Slughorn last week, when you just looked around guilty through the whole class, was probably the most enlightening of all. The only thing I had trouble figuring out was I'm sure that we were together more than hour that night, and the potion is only supposed to work for an hour, but then again, you are Severus Snape, the brilliant potioneer, aren't you? I'm sure you just made adjustments to improve the formula." She was looking at him, waiting for an explanation.

"Lily...Lily, I'm sorry. I must have been out of my mind to even consider doing what I did...well, and what I almost did...Lily, I love you."

The silence that hung in the air between them was extremely heavy and laden. She looked at him with an expression of disgust on her perfect face. "No, Severus," she said, her voice low and halting with anger, "that is not love. You can't use love as an excuse to lie to me and use me for your own sick pleasure, Snape...it won't work."

"Oh, and Saint Potter has nothing on his mind when he's snogging you but your personality, of course? The fact that you have the best body of anyone in this school could never have anything to do with his affections..."

"You know nothing about me and James' relationship, Snape!" she cried shrilly, her temper rising. "James is loving, protective, honorable, brave, handsome, and honest – everything that you're not, Snape."

The words stung him more painfully than had she slapped him across the face. Of course, she had all reason to say that, but...He gulped and replied, "You can insult me in whatever way you see fit, Lily, but you can't deny that there was a connection between you and I that has never existed between you and your Potter bastard. Even you acknowledged it – before offering yourself to me completely. Lily, if I was just using you for 'my own sick pleasure,' would I have refused you when I desperately wanted to take you then and there, again and again? Damn it, Lily, I do love you, and some day I swear I'll prove it. But please...don't bother about me. Go seek refuge in the arms of your loving, protective, honorable, brave, handsome, honorable boyfriend – I came here to be alone."

She made to leave, looking at him, but then stopped, not turning around to face him. "I...I didn't even consider that, Severus," she said in a small voice. She turned to face him. "It was unfair of me to jump to conclusions. Thank you...most boys in your situation would have taken advantage of it to its fullest, but you..."

"So, I go from being the scum of the earth to on the same level as your perfectly honorable boyfriend?" he asked bitterly. "Come on, Lily, make up your mind."

She seemed to truly be struggling internally. "There was something there, between us, Severus, and I did noticed it...my God, how could I help but notice it? It was...almost powerful enough to make me think that I could have loved you."

It was immediately obvious that she had not meant to say it, but the damage had been done. She quietly walked back to where he stood and softly kissed his cheek before she ran back to castle.