Bitterly Unrequited

Chapter 12 - The Spy

A/N: Well, a new update, hope you like the chapter...please review!

Severus sat in a small corner of the library, desperately wishing that the year would hurry up and end. It was the middle of May, and there was less than two weeks of school left, but he could barely wait for it to be over. As soon as school ended, he could get away from this living hell of rejection and shame and return to his master. Once he began to serve the Dark Lord more completely, he was sure he would feel alive once more.

"Severus..." came a voice.

He looked up to see Lily Evans standing before him, looking down at where he sat nervously. "Lily," he acknowledged her curtly. They hadn't truly spoken in a good six months, not since their last encounter in the woods.

"Severus, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if I've hurt you in any way, because that was never my intent at all. I'm sorry if I lead you on in the past and made you believe that there could be something between us. I just...needed to tell you that anything that ever was or ever could be between us is gone now, Severus. I'm in love with James, and that is not going to change."

"You've told me nothing I didn't already know, Lily," he replied, his expression blank and unreadable. "Did you think me naive enough to harbor childish hopes about us when you've avoided me since you kissed me? Leave me."

"Severus, let me finish..."

"God damn you, Lily," he growled, his cool indifference shattering, "leave me now. Get the bloody hell away from me."

She did not hesitate in obeying him this time. He stared after her retreating form and muttered bitterly, "You'll pay for that, Mudblood."

Dumbledore stood, looking at the assembled students in the Great Hall. He began to speak, saying the normal End-of-Term announcement and sentiments that Snape didn't think worthy to listen to. He sat, ignoring the glares he was receiving from James Potter with a slightly smug nonchalance.

"Now, I need all of your undivided attention, and listen closely – this is quite serious." Snape looked at the old wizard, bored but somewhat attentive.

"As you all know, Hogwarts has always been a place of learning, experience, and acceptance to all those with magical abilities, no matter the so-called 'purity' of their bloodline. We believe that it is within the witch or wizard that the talent comes from, not from their ancestry. There are, however, those who feel differently. That is how it has been for centuries – there are always those who accept 'Pure-bloods' above the Half-bloods and Muggle-borns. However, there has been a new uprising of these 'purists' who have been acting against the 'impure' bloodlines with a vengeance. They go by the name of Death Eaters, and are led by an exceptionally power Dark wizard who calls himself Lord Voldemort. You may think this has nothing to do with you, but I want to caution you. Many of the Pure-blood and some Half-blood wizards and witches among you will be approached by Death Eaters and pressured to join them. I wish to tell you, to ask, to beg you not to join them. There are those who will fight against them, and if you are to join a side, there is no better cause now than to fight the injustice served by these Death Eaters. Thank you all, and have a good summer holiday."

With a wave of his hand, Dumbledore dismissed them, and Severus could not believe his luck. The opportune moment had presented itself to him, the moment to do the Dark Lord's wishes and 'join' Dumbledore's side. He took a deep breath and hesitantly walked to the staff's table at the front of the room, where Dumbledore sat.

"Professor Dumbledore," he said, his voice wavering slightly, "I need to speak to you."

Dumbledore was looking at him with his keen, sparkling blue eyes. "All right, Severus. Come with me to my office."

"Professor Dumbledore," Severus began, sitting uncomfortably in the headmaster's office, "I have...a confession I need to make."

"Go on, Severus," said Dumbledore politely as Snape paused.

"You spoke of Lord...Lord Voldemort earlier, and how he is likely to try to recruit us. Last summer, I was approached by one of his Death Eaters, and I...I didn't know what they were like, Professor. They were appealing, and persuasive – and..." He angrily pulled up his left sleeve, showing the Dark Mark bitterly. "I joined them. It's only recently that I've seen them for what they really are...Professor, they kill. And they expect me to kill, too...I need to get out of it. I want to join you against them."

Dumbledore was surveying him, trying to determine his motivations. It was somewhat obvious that he didn't wholeheartedly trust Snape, but Severus was determined to do this task. He shut his mind, as he taught himself to do in his second year, and forced only the thoughts that he wished for Dumbledore to see to the front of his mind. Occlumency was his speciality, no doubt about it...

"Professor," he said suddenly, breaking the silence, "perhaps...perhaps it would be best if I were to spy on Voldemort for you. If I maintained my cover as a Death Eater, would I not be more useful? Bring down the enemy from inside?"

Dumbledore looked at him again, a sadden wrinkle on his brow. "Yes, I think that would be best. But Severus, you must realize the danger you are putting yourself in. You would still have to perform any tasks he assigned you, if you wished to keep your cover, and if he ever discovered, we would do all we could to protect you, but it may not be enough. Do you wish to anyway? Think, first..."

He paused. "Yes, Professor. I will spy on the Dark Lord for you."