Chapter 2: Agony

Needless to say that only a few hours later, Rory found herself sitting in a large, comfortable private jet, flying over the big ocean towards the land of fairies and kobolds. A Finn with a set mind was not a force you'd reckoned with. Beside, she had promised it.

Of course she had strongly believed that Finn never remembered setting that date and getting her agreement in the first place. Hell, she hadn't remembered it herself until Finn reminded her. Why should he of all people have remembered it then? The Australian had never mentioned it again after last year's St. Patrick's Day. And then she hadn't expected Finn to hold her to that word, even if he did remember. Things had changed after all.

She gazed out into the dark night and leaned her head against the cold, thick glass of the tiny window.

Things had changed so much. Logan had to leave for London and they had decided beforehand that it would be for the best to break things up between them. A natural decision as their relationship had already started to cool down. Back then she had thought that it was because… well, because of things. Like him doing a whole bridal party but always turned cold and green with jealousy whenever she went to meet an old friend. Okay, Jess was an ex-boyfriend, but that was just what he was. An ex. He was the past, and she loved Logan now. She really did love him. But more things happened, like her not living with him anymore and him never really forgiving her for that. Or him going on more and more business trips, spending a lot less time with her, leaving her alone and wondering what he was doing. Or who he was doing.

Now, months later, she wondered if it really had been a normal cooling down of their relationship or simply a protection, a defense mechanism of hers and perhaps even Logan's as well. Truth be told, their relationship had only started to deteriorate when it had become known and clear that Mitchum Huntzberger was ordering Logan to go to London for a year, no discussions allowed. The news had shaken Rory. They were so happy with each other, she was so happy. Being with him… she had no words for it. It just felt good. Right.

Home.

A feeling she had terribly missed ever since she had left Stars Hollow to go to Yale. Her dorms had been okay, but it hadn't been home. And when she went home it wasn't the same either anymore. She felt like a visitor rather than someone who still belonged there. Of course she knew that it would always be her home, that she was always welcomed there. But at the same time, realization had set in that it was only her childhood home now, where she had grown up, became the person she was now. She had grown up, spread her wings and then left the nest like it was supposed to be. While that was good, it had also ripped her off from a real home. Home, she couldn't seem to find anymore. Living in her grandparent's pool house had been a bit better than the dorms. At least there she had done more to decorate the house to her own liking. She had been a bit more independent. But it still didn't feel like home. And that shabby apartment she had shared with Paris and Doyle… definitely not a home. Nor had it held the comfort the dorms, the pool house and her old room back in Stars Hollow had at least given her. So it had been no wonder that she had spent most of her time over at Logan's after they had gotten back together and before Paris had thrown her out. Of course his lack of roommates and his strict refusal to go to that dump as he called her apartment had a lot to do with that as well.

And then he had asked her to move in with him. To this day she wasn't sure if it hadn't just been a spur of the moment decision that he'd regret later on or if he really had wanted her to move in with him. And she had refused for a long time to analyze if her agreeing had more to do with the fact that she just had no other choice because there really wasn't any acceptable place around to live in or because that's what she had wanted, because she loved Logan and wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

Now she knew that it hadn't been just convenience. That had only been an added bonus.

It had been a true home from the moment she had put the last of her belongings in Logan's apartment that first night. Not because it was spacey, with a beautiful view, with wonderful furniture (though a bit too manly for her taste) and was situated in a prime area, near campus. But because Logan was there, sharing his life with her. He always kissed her when she got home, when he got home, before she left home, before he left home. He always pulled her into his arms when they were ready to sleep and his arms would still be firmly wrapped around her when she woke up. They'd argue over the newspaper, over the television program and remote control and over who was paying for the take out. They'd sat comfortably with each other while doing school work, listened to each other talk about their day, discussed about God and the world. He'd unconsciously play with her hair while they were sitting on the couch, reading or watching television while her hand would unconsciously always move to his free hand interlacing their fingers.

Then news about London had come. And with a start she had realized that no matter how happy they were right then, how right it felt to be living there with him, sharing her life with him, it would have to end soon. She grew more conscious of just how much both their lives had come together, became one. The thought that at the end of the school year they'd had to tear down what they had built up together, hurt. Hurt like hell. With each day that passed, with the day of his departure getting closer, her happiness was slowly fading away. She was slowing grasping the reality that soon it would be impossible to see him every day, speak with him, feel his presence, kiss him hello and goodbye, fight with him over the paper, have him pull her into his arms and keep her there.

So she had started to pull away, unconsciously, in order to protect her heart and make the separation painless, if possible. And he had done the same thing and she thought it was probably out of the same reason. When she found out about the girls he slept with when they were taking a break from each other, she angrily moved out of his apartment. She wanted to end things with him then, before her heart would get even more hurt. That had been the plan. But, she just couldn't go through with it. She had missed him so terribly. It felt like part of her was missing. So when he had come to her, pleading to talk, she had let him in, had listened to him, already knowing the moment she had opened the door for him that she'd take him back. Needed him back. So they got back together, but she stayed firm and refused to move back in with him. She couldn't bear the thought of it, to live with him again, have everything with him again, then, as soon as the school year ended…to have nothing at all.

Perhaps that was the moment that had sealed their inevitable break-up before his departure. Perhaps, if she hadn't been so scared of getting hurt even more than she already was and if she had fought harder for them she wouldn't be so heartbroken now. It was only a year after all. Logan had a private jet and more money than he could ever spend. And she too could afford to buy several tickets to London. There were phones, emails, voicemails, live-cams and whatever else technology had invented to make the world smaller. They couldn't touch or kiss, but they could still talk. If they both had wanted it, they could have gotten through that year.

But that was the problem. She didn't know if they both wanted it. Logan had never asked her to remain his girlfriend while being away in London. And, truth be told, she just didn't trust Logan entirely, especially with them so far apart from each other. It was no secret that Logan loved sex. He had never gone for more than perhaps ten days max without sex since his first time. Was he even able to survive without sex for days, weeks, or even months if they had to live apart, with a whole damn ocean between them? Perhaps that was why he never showed any sign that he wanted to stay together with her. While she never asked him to remain her boyfriend also, she did not want to force him into anything and she was not entirely sure if it was even worth fighting for anymore, after the way things had cooled down between them.

So they had said their goodbyes. He had left for London and Rory… Rory went home for a while, helped prepare her mom's wedding with Luke. When school started for her last year, she went back to New Haven. She shared the nice apartment her Dad rented for her with Paris. The apartment was near campus but was far from the building where she used to live with Logan. It still wasn't home, but it was at least much better than the dorms or that horrible dump she had shared with Paris previously. She buried herself in school work, occupied her time with writing for the Yale Daily News and New Haven Daily Post where she was a freelancer. Her personal life… well, there wasn't much of a personal life left with her busy schedule. There were no regular Friday dinners anymore though she did see her grandparents regularly, proving that Emily wouldn't have had to blackmail her for years in order to see her granddaughter. Neither did Rory go to Stars Hollow as often as before. While she loved Luke and was very happy for her mom she felt always a bit as if she intruded in their still very newly-wed life. Instead she visited her dad and Gigi more often. Lane, being now married to Zach, didn't have much free time also, especially as she was always on the road doing tours and concerts, with Hep Alien being a success. Rory went to see them if she could and that probably was the most going out she had done this year so far.

It was a good life, always busy, but that was what she had expected for her last year in college. She could be contented. She should be happy, because school and work really went great for her.

But she wasn't happy. Half of her was missing, being an ocean away. She had hoped that with time it would get better, that she would stop missing him so terribly. No such luck. If anything, it got only worse. She started crying silently in the darkness of the night, covering her pain of the dark hours with a bright smile in the morning.

And she felt lonely. Most of her friends had a life of their own now and Paris never had been much of a cuddly bear, thank God. Not to mention that she was as focused on her graduation as Rory was. And she still had Doyle and seeing the two together - it only made her miss Logan even more. Besides, for the better part of the last one and a half year she had mostly hang out with Logan and his friends. Now Logan was gone and most of his friends had graduated last year, Colin included. The only one really still at Yale was Finn, taking more than one major and so needing a year longer. But Finn was Logan's. As much as she had missed the crazy Australian, she would never have approached him. Nor had Finn approached her for that matter.

Until today. Rory glanced at her watch. Well, until yesterday to be exact. Her eyes wandered over to the tall, dark haired man, who had come to highjack her to go to Ireland. His skin deeply tanned as always, no matter what time of a year it was. He had stretched out on the couch, claiming he needed to get in all the sleep he could for the big day tomorrow. Surely not bad logic. She had considered sleeping herself. But she just couldn't. For one she didn't dare to. She didn't want Finn to see her tears and there was a big chance of that happening if she allowed herself to fall asleep. More often than not she would cry during her sleep, waking up with her pillow wet.

And for another… she wasn't really tired, her mind going crazy with Finn's visit and her trip to Dublin now. She was looking forward to see the parade in the old land, and yet, she couldn't help but think that London was so near Dublin. That he would be so near. Nearer than he had been in a very long time. It would be so easy to ask Finn to bring her to him. She wanted to see him. Needed to see him so desperately. That was her heart talking, trying everything to make her do the only thing that her heart knew would finally make her feel happy again. Then her head would chime in, heavy with sarcasm: 'Yeah sure, and Logan would be so happy to see you after all those months. He'd open the door, take you into his arms and never let go again. Of course he hadn't moved on, of course there wouldn't be another woman in his bed, be it only for a quick fuck or perhaps even having seduced him and now living together with him. Sure he'd pine for you as much as you're pining for him. It's so in his nature to do so after all. That he's going as crazy missing you as you're missing him.' And on a more serious note, it wouldn't be fair for her to go and rip open her wounds by seeing him. It would be too painful, very painful. It would not be fair, neither for her nor for Logan.

Her eyes looked at the sleeping Finn again. Of course she could put an end to the tug of war in her head by asking Finn about him. How he was doing. If he was fine. If he was seeing someone else now or if he has gone back to his old ways. A few times she had almost asked him. In the end though she had always stopped herself, a part of her simply too afraid to hear just what she suspected she'd hear. Nor did she want to bring Finn into an uncomfortable situation where he had to either tell her the truth or lie because he wanted to protect her.

They had talked a bit, catching up on their lives. He had talked about his classes, briefly only, and talked more about all the great LDB events she had missed. And then he had talked about this party and that adventure or the trip then. He had mentioned his family, the little nephew who was born a few months before, about some of his plans for the future, gave her some news about some of the people who had left Yale last year and whom she had known, Colin being the main focus of course. It looked as though Colin's joining his father's law firm as an intern while going to law school had gone very well. He had also already started to speculate a bit on the stock market because of his good instinct for it. That didn't surprise Rory much. He always had been good with finances. And she never had doubts that he'd be a good lawyer. Apparently he hadn't settled down on the relationship front though, much to his father's dismay and so far had refused to get engaged. That didn't surprise Rory either. Colin would only settle down when the right girl came his way and until then he'd enjoy bachelorhood. She just hoped for him that that girl would come his way before his father started to push him into some arranged marriage.

The only one Finn hadn't mentioned was Logan. And considering how close they were and just how much Logan was part of Finn's life, just this exclusion made his presence between them more obvious and ominous.

Why was Finn doing this? It would have been no problem for him to pretend that he forgot their date for this year's St. Patrick's. Why come to her after all these months, subjecting them both to this awkwardness? This pain, at least on her part. Finn was so sensible and good at reading people, didn't he know just how much it hurt to be with him, pretending as if nothing had changed while everything had changed so much? How much his presence made her think about Logan, miss him even more than she already did?

Knowing Finn she sensed that this wasn't just about St. Patrick's Day. That he had something up his sleeves. It made her nervous. Finn planning something was mostly a dangerous, dangerous thing. Plus, she was wondering if perhaps Logan had… no, she shouldn't get her hopes up.

Sighing, she pushed the thoughts away. Not much longer and they'd be in Dublin, diving head first into the green craziness. It was a time to be happy, feeling care free, where nothing in the world could bring you down from the high you're on. That's St. Patrick's Day.

But without Logan…

Her heart heavy, she shook her head at her pathos that was worse than in the worst soap opera there was. She looked again over to Finn, checking if he was still sleeping soundly. He was. Glad for the dim light to hide her blush, she pulled out her cell, pressing speed dial one and held it to her ear. It barely rang once before it got forwarded to the voicemail.

"Logan Huntzberger. Call back later or leave a message."

Quickly, Rory ended the call and threw the cell back into her purse. She was ashamed of doing this. It was pathetic of her to call him almost every day now, only to hear his voice. But she just couldn't stop. The first time it had happened it had been a mistake. She had just come out of the New Haven Daily Post, having accepted a job there, and was bursting with the good news. So she had taken out her cell phone and automatically speed dialed Logan to share her news. When Logan's voicemail had picked up she realized just what she had almost done and had quickly disconnected the call, shocked that she had almost called Logan. It was just… for so long he had been the first person she had told any good news, especially if the news world was involved, so she had instinctively called him again. She had only been thankful that it had been his voicemail so he'd never learn of her stupidity. Still… it had felt so good to hear his voice, so near, as if he was just standing behind her. It hadn't taken long and soon, she had slowly dialed his cell again, just because she had wanted to hear his voice again. She knew that from around two am to eight am he always turned on his voicemail. Sometimes sooner and whenever he had a meeting or class as well, but the scheduled times were those hours, easy for her to make them, thanks to the time difference. So she called during those hours, listened to his voice and then hung up before she had to leave her message. It always had worked so far.

Of course no one knew about those calls as no one knew about her tears either. And that was just fine with Rory. She didn't need the world to know just what a loser she was, how weak she was. It was embarrassing enough already. Not helping her in any way to move on.

But then, she wasn't sure if she even wanted to move on. Or could, for that matter.

Because the more time passed, the more she started to believe that once you went Logan Huntzberger, you never could go back again.

She sighed and leaned her head against the window again, closing her eyes.

Someone should have warned her that it would be forever when she had lost her heart to Logan Huntzberger.

"Mr. Huntzberger?"

Logan looked up from the article he was writing and pressed the intercom button. "Yes Elsie?"

"There's a gentleman here who'd like to see you, Sir," Elsie informed him.

Exasperated, Logan shook his head. Never in a million years would he be able to understand why Elsie couldn't just tell him that Mr. This or Ms. That wanted to see him. But no, it was always a gentleman or a lady who wanted to see him. He had told Elsie to tell him the name straight and she'd managed to remember the instruction for perhaps half a day and then it was back to gentleman and lady. And why gentleman and lady? Why not simply a man or a woman? Right. Because this was England. Far, far, far away from the States.

"Who is it?" he asked with a slight irritation in his voice. He had told her to not disturb him unless it wasn't avoidable, wanting to get his article done. He hadn't any meetings scheduled for today.

Not today. This wasn't a good day to see him.

"A Mr. McCrea, Sir," Elsie answered.

His eyebrows shooting up, Logan sat up. Colin? Now that was a surprise. Colin hadn't mentioned any visits the last time Logan had him on the phone. "Send him in, please," Logan told Elsie and switched off the intercom. He turned back to his laptop and quickly saved his article. With Colin paying him a visit the article would have to wait. He wondered if Colin had just dropped in or if his visit had a reason. And he wondered if Finn was there as well. Not now of course, otherwise Elsie would have said something, but that didn't mean that he wasn't meeting the Australian later on. It was still awfully early after all. Barely eight in the morning.

Logan shut down his computer and stood up to stretch a little. He had been at the office early, shortly after five in the morning. Not that that was unusual for him. He came early, often being the first to come in the office, and left late, also often being the last one to leave. Logan hated that, but it was better than having too much time on hand to think about things long past. Or go home to his cold apartment which was too big and too empty. No, it was better to keep his mind busy with other things. So, after only a few weeks, Logan had thrown himself into work, burying himself in it. He usually had at least thirty meetings in a week, regularly worked on Sundays, edited several dozens articles a week and contributed at least three of his own. He was getting worse than his father. And wasn't that making his father smile smugly in triumph? Oh yeah, Mitchum Huntzberger was very proud of his decision to send his only son for a year to London and was currently congratulating himself for that splendid idea and the success he had with it. Finally, his heir was cleaning up his act, taking on his responsibilities and proving that he had a right to be the next head of one of the world's biggest news conglomerates. Logan let him believe that it was solely his doing that he was actually working his ass off in London.

In a way it was his father's doing after all. It had been his father who had ordered him to go to London, his father who had threatened him to better follow his orders or this time, he'd really lose everything. His position as the heir, his future prospects, his money, his family, his home. So Logan went. He had had little choice. Because truth was, though it had taken quite some time for him to realize and then admit it, Logan wanted the job. Wanted the news business. It was the only thing he had learned, the only thing he was good at. Down the line, he was a news business man. He loved the thrill of the business, he loved to write and most of all, he loved making the news. True, it had really taken a long time for him to admit that. Ace had a lot to do with it, teaching him how to love the business despite being pushed into it by his family, despite hating his father to never having let him make the decision on his own.

In the end, it was bitter irony that he had no choice but to leave behind Rory who had encouraged him to embrace his talent and follow his love for the news business. No choice but to leave Rory who was the best thing in his life to train in London to take over the business he had learned to accept as his future. No choice but to leave behind Rory, their relationship, their life together…which was what he wanted for his future also. Such cruel irony.

Once again, his family name had dealt him a bad hand, had destroyed the happiness he had found and had hoped to hold on for a lot longer. A lifetime if he had any say in it. But he had none. It was either getting to do in life what he was born to do or losing every chance he ever had in the news business and keep Rory in his life. Yeah, he could have thrown everything he had away for that girl and he would have done it, if he had thought that it wouldn't end in a disaster. His instincts had told him that with time, he'd start to hate Rory for not being able to do with his life what he wanted to do, what he needed to do. And ultimately, he probably would have lost her as well, leaving him with nothing. No, it was better to go. At least that way, he just had to hate his father and fate. Because he didn't want to hate Rory. Even though it would have made things so much easier if he could hate Rory. But no man in his right mind could hate that girl.

You could only love her.

No one knew that better than him. He sure hadn't planned to ever fall in love with Rory. Yet it had happened. He didn't know when or how, though he did suspect that it had been the moment she had ripped him a new one for having been an arrogant bastard towards her friend. Not that he would ever admit this, even if he had realized it sooner. That had only come a lot later. After she had left him after their fight about that bastard Jess. With her gone he had learned just how much of a part of his life she had become. No other girl could satisfy him anymore, neither physically nor intellectually. That there was only one girl who could do that and that was Rory. So yes, he had been desperate to get her back, trying everything he could think of. Of course nothing less than barring his soul had done the deed in the end. Rory couldn't be won over with money and though that had been frustrating back then, it also had made him love her even more. And then she had finally taken him back.

Not long afterwards, they had done the next big step in their relationship and had moved in together. Logan would have thought that it would scare him when that topic would come up one day. It was one thing to share his bed with someone, even when it was Rory, but his entire life? 24/7? He couldn't imagine it. Then she had called him in a panic to complain that there was absolutely no available housing so late in the school year after Paris had thrown her out and before he even realized it, he had asked her to move in with him. Strangely, it hadn't been just because it seemed to be the only reasonable solution to her momentary homelessness, but because he wanted her to move in with him. Wanted her to put her coffeemaker into his kitchen, put her things into his drawers, scattering her books and discs all over his place, joining her things with his things like he wanted their lives to join and become one. To wake up with her, go through the morning routine with her, separate for the day with a kiss and then come home to her in the evening, with her always there to greet him with a smile which immediately made him forget everything that had happened that day and he wanted to do the same for her. He wanted his day to start and end with her in his arms, where she belonged.

Living with her had been a bliss. He had been happy like he never had known happiness before. For the first time in his life, he learned how a real home should feel like. He never had had a home before. His family's house was a too big, too cold; a mausoleum instead of a warm house where you felt welcomed and be simply happy. The boarding schools hadn't been home, but at least they had been better than the Huntzberger mansion. Later in Yale, he had his dorm room which was also better than the Huntzberger mansion. And it had felt really good to live on the boat on his year long trip after the second year. But it still hadn't been a home. Nor had been the great apartment he had had last year. He had liked it very much – but it only had become a home to him after Rory had moved in with him. His apartment had become their home and he loved every second he had spent there with his Ace.

Logan had never regretted his decision to have Rory move in with him, to make a home with him. When she moved out, he lost his home. The apartment became merely an apartment again, not a home. It had never been the same again, even after they had gotten back together again. She started to come over. But only that: come over, not stay. As if everything wasn't but borrowed time anymore. He hated it. He wanted more than borrowed time and it just felt horrible.

It sure didn't help that London was looming over them constantly as well. He had avoided to think about it, but he hadn't been able to stop thinking that soon, he wouldn't even have that borrowed time anymore, with him in London and her back in the States, finishing college. Often, he had almost asked her to come with him, but in the end he always had stopped himself. It wouldn't have been fair to ask her to transfer in her last year. She had already lost a semester because of him, or rather said because of his father, and he didn't want her to lose even more time. Plus, she was the editor of the YDN, an experience that was bound to help her in her career later on. A career that he didn't want to ruin. And, he couldn't take her away from her family that she loved so much, from all her friends, from the small town where she grew up and that meant so much to her.

Perhaps things would have been different without that damn London business looming over them. Without it, he'd maybe have fought more for her. Yeah, perhaps. But truth was that he and Rory had already started to drift apart. At first he had thought she was pulling back from him because of those stupid bridesmaids. By now though he had realized that it had already started earlier, after Valentine's Day weekend when the news broke about his father's plan for him to stay in London for a year. She had pulled back, slowly untangling their lives, removing herself from his life. He didn't think it had been a conscious decision of hers. He had done the same thing after all and it sure as hell hadn't been deliberate. Perhaps, they were both trying to protect themselves.

At that moment, the door to his office flew open and Colin walked in. "Puh, man, getting into Fort Knox is easier than getting to see you," he ranted, shaking his head. "You know how long I needed to convince that old owl down there to ring you and tell you that I'm here? Bloody thirty minutes! When are you finally going to get rid of that woman? She's older than the universe, forgets names and faces and on top of that is more stubborn than a donkey."

Smiling, Logan turned to him. Probably the most accurate description he had heard so far of Elsie. "Sorry Colin, I can't fire her. She's been here longer than this paper exists. She's not personnel but inventory. I mean, even my father had been unable to fire her and believe me, that wasn't because of his good heart."

"Hmmpf," Colin muttered, frowning. "And you! I tried to call you but all I got was voicemail."

"I was working on something, sorry," Logan apologized with a grin. "Man, it's good to see you. What brings you here?"

Colin raised an eyebrow. "Can't I just drop in to see my best and oldest friend?"

"Sure you can. Now, what do you want?" Logan answered, his grin widening.

Shrugging, Colin moved around Logan's office, stopping here and there to finger any new objects he hadn't seen before. "Just needed to get out for a few days. Dad got engaged again and is planning to leave me in charge while going on his honeymoon in a few months and of course he's rotating now. I swear to God, I can't piss without him being on my back."

At that visual, Logan made a face. "Thanks for the image, mate."

Colin ignored him. "So I told him that I had some business here in the old land, that's actually true by the way. Of course I could have taken care of it by phone but I thought, why not take that perfect excuse and come see my best friend. So here I am."

"At eight in the morning," Logan nodded, raising an eyebrow.

"Just came from the airport," Colin nodded and threw himself into one of the big chairs. "Thought we could go grab some breakfast and then go watch the parade. There is a parade here, isn't it?"

So that was why Colin was here. Logan turned away from him to look out of the window from where he had an impressive view of the skyline of London. He hated it. It reminded him time and time again that he was in London, instead of being home. What he wouldn't give for this to be New York's skyline and be able to go home to his Ace in the evening.

He shook his head, forcing the treacherous thoughts away. But then, he had known that they would overwhelm him today. It was St. Patrick's Day after all. Finn's favorite day of the year. The day he turned into a green lunatic, with Logan and Colin rolling their eyes and shaking their heads at him for his antics that were even crazier than on normal days. But then, in the past two years, he had gotten reinforcement in form of Logan's girlfriend. Logan had been surprised to find out that Rory was, in one word, crazy about the first green of spring. As crazy as Finn was in fact. If not crazier. And suddenly, there had been two green lunatics. But boy, had it been fun with them. Especially last year, it had simply been a perfect day. So perfect that now, the memories of that day were haunting him. Memories of his happiness with Rory.

He so didn't want to see any parades or shamrocks or green things today.

"Hey! Logan!"

Startled, Logan turned back to look at Colin.

"Great. Barely here for five minutes and already spacing out on me. Thanks a lot, buddy," Colin said, affronted.

Pulling himself together, Logan grinned sheepishly at him. "Sorry. I fear my father has been rubbing off on me."

"If you start telling me some bullshit about work I'm going to drag you down and over the street to throw you into the Thames," Colin threatened Logan before he could start making excuses not to go to the parade. "And then I'll call Finn and rat out that I found you in the office on the most holy day, at freaking eight in the morning. He'll be here in a flash just to smack you for this blasphemy."

At that Logan couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah? You and which army will throw me into the Thames?"

"I don't need an army for that, Huntzberger," Colin told him, annoyed.

"Since when? You haven't won one fight against me in your entire life so far," Logan pointed out to him with a snort.

"Oh, for your information, I have been working out very day. The gym is the only safe place where I have peace away from my Dad. So you better not try anything with me," Colin let him know.

"I'm shaking," Logan said dryly and sat down into the other chair, facing Colin. "How's Finn?"

Colin shrugged. "Same as always. No wait, last week he was actually going totally overboard because of the exams. Made me drive out to New Haven every day to get him up early and go over the stuff with him for one last time."

"Seriously?" Logan asked with a laugh.

"Yeah. I've missed two meetings and was too late for five others," Colin nodded.

"Wow. He really wants to finish this year, huh?" Logan asked, shaking his head.

"Yep. But the exams went well and now he'll just have the finals to get over with then he is done with college, done with school and he can join us in the serious world of business," Colin said with a sigh.

Logan smiled. "It will never be serious with him," he said.

"Of course not," Colin agreed with a grin.

"Still chasing the redheads?" Logan asked.

"Please," Colin said, rolling his eyes.

Logan nodded. It would have surprised him if that had changed in the past three weeks since Finn had paid him a visit. But then, you could never be sure with him.

"I left him a message to meet me at the airport and come with me, but I didn't get through to him," Colin casually said. "I got a message from him, saying that he has other plans. He'll meet us on his way back though."

Quickly, Logan avoided Colin's eyes. He wondered what plans Finn had. Perhaps he had flown home. Or perhaps he had decided to see one of the many parades all over the world. Or perhaps… No. That was unlikely. Sure, Rory had promised to go to Ireland with him this year for the parade, but with the way things were, Logan doubted strongly whether Finn had held Rory to that promise. He knew that his friends hadn't any contact with Rory anymore so it was illogical to think that Finn would have approached her for that. Not that Logan had ever asked them to do that. And Finn and Colin actually had never said anything until Logan had broken down one night after he had drunk way too much and had asked them about her. He hadn't allowed himself that question before and never again afterwards. He never mentioned Rory, period. Finn and Colin seemed to go along with him on that point as they never mentioned her either. And Logan was just fine with that. He didn't want to talk about Rory. It just hurt too much, damn too much.

Not that the pain of not being with her, not being able to see her, to talk to her, to touch her, to kiss her, to draw her into his arms and to keep her there ever subsided, ever dissipated. The pain got worse with each day he was separated from her. It got so bad that one day, he had found himself calling her voicemail just so he could hear her voice. God, it was so pathetic. Yet he did it again and again until he called her every day to listen to her voice and then quickly hang up again. He had lived long enough with her after all to know when a snowball in hell had more chance to survive than for anyone to reach her.

"So you see, whatever plans you may have had for the next couple of days…" Colin started to say.

"Are shot to hell," Logan said, resigned.

"Don't overdo it with the enthusiasm here," Colin told him, slightly frowning.

"I do have work to do, you know?" Logan said defensively.

"So do I. But what's life without a break here and there?" Colin asked, raising an eyebrow.

'Less painful', Logan thought, but said nothing. A year before he would have wholeheartedly agreed. Now though…now breaks meant free time. Time to think about the emptiness of his life, time to remember more happy times, when he had still been able to enjoy breaks, had lived for breaks. Sure, he loved spending time with Finn and Colin. He did know them since forever. But the problem was that during his time with Rory, she had become so much a part of the group that not even his best friends could make him forget just how incomplete he felt without her at his side. No… he couldn't enjoy breaks anymore.

"Some warning would have been nice," Logan muttered under his breath, but Colin heard him anyway.

"Why? So you can find an excuse and ditch us? Like on New Year's?" Colin asked sarcastically.

Logan shrugged. "I don't make the news. The news makes itself and we have to follow them. It hadn't been my idea for the new terror attacks at Piccadilly's."

"You could have sent someone else to cover the story," Colin pointed out. "You're the boss after all."

"Yeah, and as the boss it's my duty to send the best we have to cover this explosive story," Logan reasoned.

Colin opened his mouth, but before he said something else, he breathed in deeply. "Okay. It's too bloody early in the morning, I hadn't had a decent coffee since I left the States and the flight was crappy. I didn't come here to fight with you but to have fun. So why don't we just forget about this and go get some breakfast. Then I'll go see the parade. Your choice if you want to come as well or not."

Logan met his eyes and sighed as well. "Sorry, it's been a long night. Breakfast sounds great." He hesitated for a moment. Oh, what the hell. He could as well go to the parade with Colin. It wasn't as if it would make Logan miss his Ace even more than he already did. She was a constant part of his thoughts, pushed back, but never leaving him. At least he could perhaps get properly drunk afterwards, so drunk that it wouldn't hurt so damn much anymore while Colin kept an eye on him. "And of course I'll come see the parade. Wouldn't miss it in the world," he said, falsely cheerful.

His face lightening up, Colin nodded. "Now that's my man," he said approvingly.

"Just let me tell Elsie that I'm leaving and that she should cancel my meetings for tomorrow," Logan said and got up to go over to his desk.

Colin snickered. "Whatever for? She'll probably have forgotten it by lunch anyway."

Logan chose to ignore his comment. Elsie wasn't that bad… But perhaps he better made her write it down.

TBC!

(Author's note: Just to make one thing sure: I think those two are IDIOTS!!!! Idiots, idiots, idiots! It's unbelievable how stupid they are! It almost hurt, this stupidity! And I have a hunch that I'm not the only one being frustrated here. Just so you know: I'm only writing them, not making them! And thank Heaven for Finn and Colin! Anyway… thanks for all the wonderful reviews! It's just the best part of posting stories, really! Hope you keep letting them come my way. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and aren't too frustrated by it. I'll make up for it eventually, promise!)