Chapter 3: Fools
"I love Dublin! And I love St. Patrick's! Did I mention that I love St. Patrick's Day?"
Smiling, Finn nodded. "Yeah, love, I think you mentioned it a few times today," he told Rory patiently. Like a few dozens times.
"Oh…" she murmured, then grinned. "Well, I love it."
"What's there not to love?" Finn agreed.
"That parade… whoopee, what a parade. Second best parade ever!" Rory whooped. "All the green! All the shamrocks! All the Irish!"
"Yeah, Josh was right. St. Patrick's here in Dublin is really something," Finn nodded.
"We've got to come back," Rory nodded. "I love it here. And I love St. Patrick's. Best day of the year, even better than 4th of July… and Thanksgiving. And Christmas!" She sighed. "And did I mention that I love you?"
Finn stared into his green beer for a moment, then shook his head. "No, no, that you haven't," he answered quietly. Never before had she said those words. Beautiful words. If she wasn't drunk right now. If she meant those words…rather meant those words in the sense that Finn wished she had meant them. If she wasn't who she was… the girl of his best friend. Still… to hear her say those words to him… it was something he probably would cherish deep inside him for the rest of his life.
He did love her after all, and yes, in exactly that sense. But he also loved Logan, as one of his best friends, as a brother. He wanted him to be happy. Them to be happy. And the past nine months had shown that apparently, they could only be happy together. Finn knew that. He had always known that he and Rory weren't meant to be together in this lifetime. She was Logan's, had been from the very first moment he had known her. Logan had seen her first. Had first realized just what a precious person she was.
And that stupid idiot had thrown it away. Or at least had tried to.
"Well I do. I do love you. Because you're Finn. And because you brought me here, although I still don't know why you did it. I mean, why insist on it after not talking to me for eight months?" she asked, frowning.
Looking back at her, he sighed. "You didn't seem to want to talk, love. At least that was what I got from you turning the other way each time you spotted me."
And damn if that hadn't hurt. Just another reason why his plan had to work. If he couldn't have Rory like he secretly wished to have her, then he wanted at least what he had so far. Her friendship, companionship. He wanted her in his life. Those past nine months hadn't been bad just for Logan and Rory. He too had missed his best friend, had missed Rory, terribly. Fools. They were fools. And their foolishness was seriously ruining his happy life. Why did they have to break up with each other? Anyone who knew them could see that those two loved each other deeply, were made for each other. Hell, a blind and deaf person could see and hear that!
But no, those fools thought it was best to break things off, making themselves and everyone around them miserable.
And miserable they were. Rory and Logan had both buried themselves in work, barely doing anything else than work, eat and sleep. If they slept at all, he thought darkly, taking in Rory's pale complexion and the dark circles under her eyes. He had watched how the vibrant, glowing girl he had fallen in love with had slowly withered away over the past few months. She hid it well, always having a too busy air around herself and wearing that false smile on her lips so few seemed to notice that on the inside, Rory was anything but fine. He wouldn't say she was dying inside, but then, in a way, that was just what was happening to her. Her spirit was dying.
And Logan… physically, he coped better, but emotionally? He seemed even worse, if that was possible. He had clammed up, barely smiled or laughed anymore, at least not true laughs and smiles. Finn doubted that he had heard his best friend's laughter since after his break up with Rory. Not that he had seen or heard much of his mate in those months. Logan had made himself scarce, hiding behind work when he went to visit him, barely having time anymore. Hell, he practically lived in that fancy London office of his nowadays. And that was simply not his friend that he loved like a brother.
Fools.
Bloody fools they were!
"I couldn't, you know."
"Hmm?" Finn asked with a frown, coming out of his grumbling thoughts to look back at Rory, seeing that her face had fallen.
"You're Logan's. Sure, I missed you and Colin, but your both Logan's," Rory repeated, shaking her head. "You belong to him, not me."
Finn's frown deepened. "I think we rather belong to ourselves," he corrected her.
But she shook her head vehemently, almost falling down from her stool but for Finn's hand that kept her steady. "Uh-uh, no, you're Logan's. He needs you, you're his family. I'd never come between that. We're not together anymore, so I have no business to talk to you anymore." Her eyes grew distant, sad, staring blindly at the partying crowd in the bar they had ended in after a long day of parade watching, sightseeing, souvenirs shopping and basically living St. Patrick's to it's fullest in the hometown of this fine day. "Besides, it hurts too much," she added in a whisper.
For a moment, Finn studied her, then he nodded. It was time. "Then do something about it," he told her bluntly.
She turned her confused eyes to him. "Huh?"
"If it hurts so much, and it does, that much a blind kangaroo can see, then do something about it instead of wallowing in that misery," he repeated with force.
She stared at him. "I'm not wallowing."
"Yes, you are. Or have you done anything to put an end to this ridiculous situation? Have you called him? Have you wrote him? Gone to see him?" he wanted to know.
"Logan?" she asked with a frown.
Irritated, Finn sighed. Perhaps he should have started to hone in on the topic sooner, before she got so drunk. Or not let her drink so much. But Rory had made sure that she wasn't going to talk about Logan, or even mention him for that matter, on her own. And though Rory seldom drank, let alone too much, he had learned in the past that when she did, her tongue loosened considerably. Hence, he did nothing to stop her from getting drunk.
"Yeah, Logan. Your boyfriend, remember?" he replied patiently.
She paled and bit her lips, looking away. "You know he's not my boyfriend anymore," she pointed out, her voice fading, but with a trace of anger in it.
"The hell he isn't," Finn though contradicted her. "You two may be fools and think you're broken up, but really, you're not. You're still as much his as he is yours."
Unfortunately.
"Finn, no…" she pleaded in a small voice, suddenly looking like a kicked, lost puppy. "Don't do this to me."
The sight tore at his heart. And that was just the reason why he couldn't stop now. "Do what?"
"Saying such things. Talking about him. I don't want to hear it. I can't…" she replied, her head down.
"Sorry love, but he's my best friend. Sure I'll talk about him. Tell you…" Finn started to say.
Her head snapped up to glare at him with misty eyes. "Don't you get that it fucking hurts to even think about him, let alone talk?" She sagged into herself, swallowed, and a tear escaped her. "God, Finn, I miss him so damn much. I can't…" she sniffed. "I thought it would get better, you know? Time heals wounds, right? Right!" Again she glared at him. "Nope. That's a fucking lie. It doesn't heal. It makes it worse. Each damn second he's gone hurts a little more." She rubbed at her eyes, angrily. "It's pathetic, I know. But it is how it is." Her eyes now blazing with fury, she grabbed for Finn's still full glass of beer and took a few big gulps. And all the while, the pain she was in screamed out of her with every breath she took. "I tried to stop missing him. I tried to stop loving him. The feelings just won't go away!" She took another gulp, then stared into the now empty glass. "I'm tired of always missing him. Tired of always thinking about him. I'm tired of dreaming about him and tired of waking up in tears, because he's not there anymore. Tired of degrading myself by calling his voice mail like a pathetic loser, but then, that's just what I am. I want to be an overseas correspondent, but I can't even get to come to terms with the fact that my boyfriend is my ex now and lives thousands of miles away, probably having long since moved on and having a great time in London while I always sit at home and cry my eyes out over him." Another tear escaped her eyes. "Why can't I just simply forget him? File it away? Get over it?"
Wow… when that girl talked, she talked, Finn thought as he tried to digest all she had finally let out. There were many things that hadn't surprised him. And many things he didn't like to hear. And one or two things he hadn't known. Like her calls to Logan's voice mail. Like her crying so much. He had known she wasn't doing too well, but he hadn't realized just how not well she was actually doing. Damn, he should have acted sooner, a lot sooner. But somehow he had always hoped that those two fools would get through this mess on their own. And when there had still been no sign that things would right themselves eventually, he had started to think about a plan to get them back together. And Rory had just given him a few hints just why that outside help was needed in the first place and Finn decided to pick that one up right then and there.
"He's not," he informed her.
She simply looked at him.
"Moving on. Having a good time. He has everything but that." Finn's eyes softened. "Love, you really think he's doing anything better than you are? That he misses you less than you miss him? That he hurts less than you hurt?" He shook his head.
"But he's Logan," she said, her voice trembling.
"And that's supposed to mean what?" Finn wanted to know, raising an eyebrow.
She shrugged and looked away. "You know how he is. He doesn't let himself get down. He lives. He enjoys. Makes the best out of everything."
"Screws around?" Finn asked knowingly.
"Well, the last time we were broken up he did an entire bridal party, and that had only been not quite two months," she replied defensively. "It's been a whole lot longer this time. And with a much more final break up this time. Not to mention the big ocean between us."
"Love, he has changed," Finn said softly. "You changed him."
"Has he?" She snorted. "And I don't want to be the kind of girl to change someone."
Finn shrugged. "If you wanted it or not, he changed. Because of you. Because he loves you and knows that the Logan you initially met had no future with you. He wanted to change. And it did him good. I've never seen him so happy than when you two had been living together."
As he had never seen his mate as wretched as he was right now. But that was going to change. It had to.
Rory said nothing, just twirled the empty glass on the table.
"But now that he's changed, he can't go back anymore. Not that he wants to," Finn continued seriously. "He isn't happy. He needs you for that."
"Oh yeah? If he needs me so much, then why did he never ask me to come with him? Or at least ask me to remain his girlfriend?" she retorted angrily. "If he misses me so much, then why did he never call? Write? Anything?"
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe, he did want to do all those things desperately? But that he hadn't wanted to be unfair to you, forcing you into something you didn't want?" he asked quietly.
She looked up sharply. "And who says I didn't want to? He never asked, never gave me the chance to make a decision!" Rory protested.
Finn sighed and rubbed at his temples. This wasn't working too well so far. He looked back at her. "Okay Rory, maybe he did not, but it goes both ways, love. Did you ever ask him to stay? Not to go? To remain your boyfriend?"
Again, Rory said nothing. But this time, Finn remained silent as well. Finally, she sighed. "No. No I didn't. I couldn't do that. His father would have disowned him then. I couldn't let him do that. He's born to do this, and I don't mean that just because he had been lucky and was born the heir to the Huntzberger fortune."
"So then you made the decision for him, just like he made the decision for you," Finn summarized.
"I guess. But he could still have fought for me," she added defiantly.
"As you could have fought for him," Finn pointed out.
"He's supposed to do that! He's the guy. He's the one who has left," Rory retorted back. "He's the one to decide if he wants to remain in a long-distance relationship and then ask me in case he decided to at least try it. And then it was my turn to decide the same thing, but not before." She looked away. "But he never asked. Guess that was my answer."
Wait… was she saying what he thought she was saying? Could they have avoided all this heartbreak if those two idiots would have just talked with each other, openly, instead of assuming things? Finn shook his head. Logan had never said much about their break-up. He had simply told Finn and Colin that they had decided mutually that there wasn't much sense in trying to remain together, so they had broken up upon his departure. And while Finn had known that they were both wrong and making a mistake, he had never anticipated to hear what Rory had just told him… that neither of them had really wanted to break up. But both had assumed the other wanted to.
"You know, Reporter Girl, for someone who's as smart as you are, you are incredibly stupid. Same goes for Logan," Finn muttered darkly.
"Gee thanks," she said sarcastically and stood up.
"Where are you going?" Finn asked with a frown.
"To go get myself a new drink. My buzz's wearing off and that's the last thing I want right now. Then I'm going over there and prove myself a total klutz, but I'll have fun," she explained, pointing over to a group dancing ceilies. "'Cause you're no fun anymore, Finn. And this day is here to have fun, even if you feel like crap. So there," she finished and marched off.
Finn let her, keeping an eye on her though. Logan would kill him if he let anything happen to his girl after all. Well, once that idiot had reclaimed her as his again. Boy, Finn just hoped that Colin was beating some sense into that thick, stubborn head of his mate.
"Forget it, babe, I'm taken."
Logan's gruff statement upon seeing a girl heading his way, obvious in her intentions, baffled the girl for a moment. But then she smiled again and still stepped closer. "You sure about that?"
'Big mistake,' Colin thought and sure enough, the words had barely left her mouth when Logan turned his head slowly to give her a look. A look he had learned from his father and grandfather very early on and then had perfected it to a level that would have left the senior Huntzbergers envious. The perfect look of superiority, indifference, arrogance, but also a clear warning to not mess with him or you'll regret it.
This time, the girl got the message and scrambled away as fast as she could. Probably the smartest thing she had ever done in her life. Logan could have a vicious tongue if he was in a mood like that.
"So… you're taken?" Colin asked casually, coming to sit on a stool beside Logan at the bar counter. "Good to hear. Anyone I know?"
"What?" Logan asked, glancing at him with a frown. "Oh…" He shrugged. "Nah, just not in the mood for the game and I found out that it's easiest to tell them that I'm not on the market anymore." He made a face. "Of course that only works with those who don't know me or are keeping an eye on me. I've yet to figure out a way to ward those off."
"Shira still throwing suitable girls your way?" Colin wanted to know.
Logan gave him a look. "You seriously think she'll stop until I'm happily' married off?"
Colin laughed. "Not in this lifetime."
"Exactly. So why ask so stupid questions?" Logan pointed out, miffed.
Then again, miffed seemed to be the mood of the day for his best friend. So far he wasn't enjoying anything about this fine day, not the parade, not the street party afterwards and not them hitting the bars. All things Logan, at least the Logan Colin had known for years, usually loved to do. But of course this wasn't the same Logan. No, this here was the Logan who had chosen to follow his heart and came here to London to save his destiny, and in the process had lost just that: his heart. This was Rory-less Logan and frankly said, Colin was growing tired of this Logan. Not to mention exasperated.
Finn was right. It was time for those two idiots to sort out their mess. He wanted his best and oldest friend back. And he also wanted Rory back. He had missed the girl who he had come to love as a sister, more than he thought he ever would. Obviously, Rory had warmed her way into more than just Logan's heart, just not quite in the same way though. But if he missed the girl already like that… how much worse must it be for Logan? And how could he take it? Why hadn't he hopped into his private jet and rushed back to go get his girl back long ago?
Colin didn't know. But he intended to find out. Then fix it. That was the plan. And while he battled down with Logan, Finn would take care of Rory. Nice, good, solid plan. The only problem was that so far, Colin hadn't had much luck in getting Logan to talk. Each time he so much as approached the Rory topic, Logan was quick to dodge it by either changing the topic or suddenly having to go to the bar for a refill or visit the bathroom. So Colin had put plan B into action: get him drunk. Like it was common with most people, Logan's tongue loosened once he was drunk. But Logan just didn't seem to want to get drunk so far. Oh, he did drink. But apparently not enough to even give him a buzz, let alone make him talk.
So yeah, Colin was getting slowly to the end of his wits, he thought grumpily as he watched his best friend nurse his drink with a sullen expression out of the corner of his eyes. Well, if neither subtlety nor sneakiness did the trick, then perhaps it was time to get the big guns out and use brutal confrontation.
He turned to face Logan. "I might have an idea how you'll get the female leeches off your back," he offered casually.
One of Logan's eyebrows shot upwards. "Yeah? Then by all means shoot ahead and enlighten your desperate and suffering friend here."
Colin smiled. "Easy. Grab that ring you're hiding in your drawers for over one and a half year now, get into your jet and go take yourself officially off from the market by finally asking Rory the big question."
Logan paled and his face closed off as he looked away. "That's not even funny, Colin," he said in a tense, tight voice.
"No, no it's not funny, you're right about that," Colin agreed with a nod, his eyes boring into the back of Logan's head. "My best friend is unhappy and miserable for nine months now and still too stubborn or proud or whatever to do the only thing that will take care of everything once and for all."
Logan laughed a bitter laugh but then looked back at Colin, glared. "Stay out of this, Colin, it's none of your business."
"Well, tough, but frankly said, if my best friend is on the way to turning into a bitter, old, lonely man, dragging down with him those who love him, then it's damn well my business," he told Logan straight out. "Or even worse, especially, when my friend is getting to be just like his father."
Anger filled his mate's eyes but instead of replying, Logan knocked down the still mostly full drink in front of him, then stood up. "I'm out of here," he growled, moving past Colin.
Colin's hand shot forward to grab Logan's arm in a tight iron grip and yanked him back onto his bar stool. "No. No, you're not. I've watched you closing yourself off from the world long enough and I'm done watching. Now I talk and you'll fucking listen."
"I swear to you, Colin, you better let me go right now, or I'll…"
"You'll what? Beat the crap out of me? Never talk a word with me again?" Colin interrupted Logan's threats. "Come on, why don't we skip this part? We both know that none of that will happen. We are best friends, have been ever since we can remember. And as your best friend I'm telling you now that it's time for you to stop being stubborn and crawl on all fours to Rory if necessary and beg her to take you back because you simply can't live without her."
Logan tried to yank his arm free, but Colin held tight. His eyes blazing with fury, Logan glared daggers at Colin. "You don't know what you're talking about so you better shut up."
"I know that you love her. I know that you miss her like crazy. I see that you're miserable. Yeah, I guess I really have no clue at all," Colin said dryly.
Logan yanked again and this time, he managed to get his arm free. But he stayed where he was. "No, you know nothing! You've never felt more for a girl than attraction. You don't know how it is to love someone so much that it knocks the air out of you, that it almost hurts but you don't give a damn, because as long as you're with her, nothing can hurt you. You don't know how it is to wake up with the love of your life right there in your arms every morning, just like the way you've gone to sleep the previous night. You don't know how it is to have everything and then have to go back to have nothing. You have no idea!" he hissed.
"Then why Logan? Why break up with her in the first place? Why not get her back, get your life back?" Colin honed in relentlessly.
"Because it was the right thing to do!" Logan exclaimed, his hands fisting. "I had to come here or one day, I would have come to hate her for keeping me away from what I thrive to do and I don't want to hate her."
"Okay, but you could have asked her to come with you," Colin pointed out.
Again, Logan laughed bitterly. "And take her away from her family, her home she loves so much? Ruining her chance in the business or at least throwing her back considerably? Even if she had been able to transfer, it wouldn't have been a good idea, not in her last year at college, not when she had just been selected to be the editor of the YDN. Have you any idea how important such an experience is for her career? And not when I knew that the New Haven Daily Post had an eye on her, offering her a job as a freelancer, something that will give her a real good start. Something she'll need, thanks to Daddy dearest and his stupid quest against her which was, surprise, surprise, because of me, because I had the audacity to fall in love with her! You really think that I could take her away from her dream? Do that to her?"
Colin stared at his friend. Logan had never said much about their break-up, always had evaded questions. He was surprised to hear just how deep Logan's reasons went. He thought them bullshit, but it was obvious that Logan had thought long and hard about this. "No. No, I don't think that," he said quietly. "But even then, you didn't have to break up with her. A year is not so long after all. And we're living in the 21st century, you know. It's pretty easy to stay in contact nowadays, especially if one has money and a private jet at his disposal."
For a moment, Logan stared at him, then he shook his head and looked down. "Sure. This time it's a year. But what comes after that? A year in Tokyo? A few months over on the continent? Two years in Africa? Some time in Rio?" He looked back up, his eyes bitter and sad. "I know my father, Colin. London is only the beginning. I'm supposed to come around in the world, learn how the news business works in different ways in different countries, cultures. And if that happens to keep me as far away from the girl I dare to love against his will as possible, then all the better."
Still staring, Colin slowly began to understand the extend of just what had all been behind Logan's reasons to leave Rory behind. "But…"
"I can't do anything against it, Colin, not before my twenty-fifth birthday, perhaps not even then. I can't expect Rory to wait all that time," Logan explained and his voice grew thick with emotion. He motioned for the bartender to serve him another drink. "Besides… the way things were going right before I left I'm not sure she even wanted to be with me anymore, let alone have a life together."
"What?" Colin exclaimed, flabbergasted.
"Things had changed. I don't know if it had been her finding out about the girls I slept with during our break-up or me having to go to London or whatever, but… things had cooled down between us." Logan shook his head. "So we decided to make a clean break. It was for the best."
"Bullshit," Colin stated calmly.
"Colin…"
"That's crap and you know that! You love her…"
"But does she love me? Enough to go through all that shit I'll have to go through if I want to take over the business one day? To trust me when we're apart for weeks, if not months?" Logan interrupted him vehemently. "You know, she could have asked me to stay, to not go as well, but she never did. She could have proposed to try staying together anyway, but she didn't. She just said goodbye and turned her back on me."
'Ah', Colin thought as he watched his friend turn away and grabbing the new drink in front of him, knocking it down in one, long gulp and then waving for another. 'And here we're coming to the bottom of the real problem.' Oh, not that he had thought the reasons Logan had enumerated previously hadn't been valuable as well. But he knew Logan. Such things like geographical problems and going against his family wouldn't stop him from going after what he wanted. Or who he wanted in this case. And that Logan wanted Rory was never a question. But fear of rejection… anger for her lack of fight for him… now, that made a lot more sense. Actually, it made perfect sense.
Idiot.
Stupid, stupid idiot, Colin thought as he watched Logan knock back a third drink. Looked like he had finally managed to get Logan drunk. Good. Colin was far from finished with beating some sense into his best friend. A little help from Johnny and Co wouldn't hurt there.
"You ever thought that perhaps, Rory didn't want to stay in the way of your dreams either?" he asked gently.
Logan glanced at him, frowning. "What?"
"Rory always had known, recognized, that deep down, you're just what your father wants you to be… a newsman through and through. She was the one who got you to enjoy this whole newspaper thing for the first time in your life and got you to admit that you enjoy it. She was the one who always believed in your abilities, in your potential and urged you to act on them, to be what you want to be, despite it being what you were always expected to do and you simply hated to be on the same page as your father," Colin elaborated. "The way I see it, she'd never have asked you to give all that up for her. She wouldn't even dream that maybe, she's worth more than all of that." He smiled affectionately. "After all, we all know just how little she knows of her importance, her value to us." His eyes sharpened. "You ever thought about that? Ever entertained the possibility that she was as desperately waiting for you to say something as you wanted her to say something?"
Colin could see how his word slowly penetrated through Logan's mind, through the walls he had build up ever since last summer and, as a result, how a deep, unsure frown now appeared between Logan's eyes. Good. The dumbhead finally started thinking. Colin spotted a girl sending stolen, inviting glances his way and pushed away from the bar. "And now if you'll excuse me, I spot a lady dying for my attention," he told Logan and left his friend behind at the counter.
Obviously, Logan had to think through a few things. When Colin glanced back he saw Logan knocking down yet another drink. And ordered a little more. For the time being he would let him be, while keeping an eye on him. After that… time to strike the final blow, so to speak.
"Got anything out of him?" Finn asked first thing as he picked up his cell phone.
"Other than he's probably the biggest idiot of the world? Yeah, I got some things," Colin answered tiredly.
"Let me guess. He was miffed because she said nothing about them staying together?" Finn guessed knowingly.
"Dead right," Colin confirmed and frowned. "You wanna tell me that all this time, she waited for him to open his mouth?" he then asked unbelievingly.
Finn laughed dryly. "This surprises you?"
"No… no, I guess not," Colin sighed and shook his head. "Those dumb heads."
"Bloody fools," Finn agreed wholeheartedly.
"But she still loves him, doesn't she?" Colin asked.
Finn glanced at Rory, sleeping soundly on the bed, curled up into a tight ball, with tears falling from her closed eyes, wetting her pale cheeks, and he sighed. "No doubts about that."
"Good. 'Cause if you ask me, Logan loves her now more than ever," Colin told his friend, glancing at the man in question, passed out on his bed now. He had gotten drunk in the end. Very drunk. And even now in his sleep, Colin could see the pain he was in because Rory wasn't there beside him.
Finn nodded grimly. "Okay then, time for phase four."
Colin frowned. "Phase four? What happened to phase three? We just finished phase two."
"That's where you're wrong," Finn corrected his mate. "Phase one: deciding to do something about the unbearable situation and enlist your help. Phase two: hunting the two fools down, giving them a false sense of security, making them feel comfortable, and relaxing them so the way is clear for… Phase three: getting to the bottom of the problem, with force if necessary."
"Well, I think phase one isn't a real phase," Colin protested.
Finn rolled his eyes. "My plan, my phases. Anyway, it's time for the next phase now."
Colin nodded. "Definitely. Time to strike."
"Launch the attack and restore things to how they're supposed to be," Finn agreed, grinning devilishly.
TBC!
(Author's note: Well, that one was long overdue, sorry about that. The next one shouldn't take that long as this time, I know exactly what comes next. Besides, only two more chapters and this baby will be finished, I think. Yay! And yeah, I'm aware that St. Patrick's Day's long over. But I think it's safe to assume that those who still read this one will agree with me that it's not necessary to wait until next year to continue this one. And yeah, I also know that so far, it looks promising for Rory and Logan in the show. But then, I started this before the last episode of season 6 – and we never know just what bullshit the authors will come up with to ruin this perfect couple. Anyway, hope you still enjoy this story anyway!)