Han paced back and forth in the tiny waiting room, his nerves on edge. He was encouraged by the fact that Leia had been able to speak to him coherently, but her memory loss worried him. Was it a sign of serious damage to her brain? Were there side effects of the injury that had not yet appeared? He hadn't had a lot of time to examine her, and his medical skills were meager at best. Frustrated, he began to lose patience. What was taking so long?
At that moment the door to the waiting room opened and Chewie and Luke came in to greet him.
"We just heard the news, Han. How's Leia?" Luke asked worriedly.
"She was alert the last time I saw her, but she's been unconscious for the past few days. She also seems to have some memory loss."
"How bad is it?" Luke asked seriously, picking up on Solo's worried tone.
"She remembered me just fine, but she doesn't seem to have any memory of what happened to her." Or what happened with us, he added silently.
What did happen, Cub? Chewie growled. Up to this point, he had been silently watching Han with both concern and interest. The relationship between Han and the princess and obviously undergone a change in the past few days. In the years Chewie had known him, Han had never allowed his emotions to swim this close to the surface. The man standing before him was worn down from worry and visibly upset. Chewie was pleased that Han had seemingly acknowledged his feelings for Leia, but he hoped that this romance wouldn't have a tragic end. He wasn't sure the cub could handle such a loss.
"The blasted Imps decided to have a scum party at our hotel. We tried to sneak away, but we were recognized just before reaching the Falcon. Leia took a stun blast to the shoulder. She probably woulda been fine if she hadn't been slammed backwards into the ramp support. She hit her head pretty hard, Chewie. Lost a lot of blood."
"How did you get away, Han?" Luke asked.
"We were lucky that the Imps were only trying to capture us. Otherwise, you probably wouldn't be talking to me now. The Falcon took some damage, but she got us out safely. You might wanna go get started on the hyperdrive, Pal. The Imps took a lucky shot at her."
You don't want me to stay here? Chewie asked.
"Nah, you go take care of my other girl," Han said, not even realizing his slip.
Luke's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he regained his composure quickly and said nothing. It was slightly uncomfortable for him to feel such strong emotions emanating from his friend, especially since Han usually kept his feelings so closely in check. As surprising as Han's visible display was, however, Luke was not really shocked that something had happened between Han and Leia.
He might be an ignorant farm boy, but Luke had been able to see the situation much more clearly than either of them had. As much as they bickered, Han and Leia were good for one another. Han had been the only one to help her through the destruction of Alderaan, though many had tried to assist her. Leia, on the other hand, gave the world-weary smuggler a sense of purpose and challenged him to rise above apathy and selfishness. The pair were never as much alive as they were when they were together, though their arguments served as a convenient means of denying their feelings.
Luke knew that both Han and Leia were aware of his youthful crush on the Alliance leader. However, as their attentions turned to one another, neither realized that his feelings had also changed. He had built a wonderful friendship with the princess, but he was perfectly happy to enjoy their easy camaraderie and the special bond of kinship that he could not quite explain. He had realized very early on that he had been infatuated with an image and not a real person. Leia was more wonderful than he could have ever imagined, but she was not the right woman for him.
As a result, he and Chewie had been working behind the scenes to nudge their friends into acknowledging their feelings. Han and Leia's arguments had been especially heated of late, the intensity causing significant pain to both the smuggler and the princess. As a result, Luke had made a point of speaking to both of them before the mission. He casually let it slip to Han that Leia had complimented him in private and informed the princess that Han had decided to stay. He had hoped that their attitudes would soften a bit toward one another so that they could explore their real feelings. It appeared, for the moment, that the plan had been a success. However, he now worried by Han's current state of mind. His friend was clearly devastated by Leia's injuries and by something else Luke couldn't quite pinpoint.
As Luke struggled for something to say next, his chrono alarm beeped.
With regret evident in his voice, Luke said, "I've got to go too, Han. I've got a patrol flight in an hour. Will you keep me informed about how she's doing? I'd like to come and see her when they allow visitors."
"Will do, kid. She's gonna be all right, you know," Han said gently, suddenly mindful of Luke's strong feelings for the princess.
"I know, Han," he said, giving him a brief hug of encouragement before heading to duty.
Luke's exit coincided with the arrival of General Rieekan and Major Malad Eleisoeve, head of military intelligence for the Hoth operation. Han couldn't stand Malad—the very sight of him made his blood boil. Malad was arrogant, ruthless, and completely incompetent. Nepotism had assured him a high military rank, and his betrayal of colleagues had accelerated his career.
Solo had always disliked Malad because he was careless with lives and slipshod in his work. However, that dislike had escalated into full-blown hatred when Han had stumbled upon Malad making unwanted advances toward the princess. Leia was handling the situation diplomatically, but it was clear that she was very uncomfortable.
Han intervened quite forcefully and had been one of Malad's targets ever since. Military intel began to pry actively into his background and made it much more difficult to obtain the proper clearances for his work. Leia had stepped in on his behalf and the harassment had eased, but Solo thought it likely that Malad had been responsible for the "intelligence lapse" leading to their encounter with the Imperials.
"How is she, Solo?" the general asked kindly, his words interrupting Han's train of thought.
"I don't know, General. I haven't heard anything yet."
"I'm sure they will know something soon. We'll just have to be patient."
"My patience is wearing thin, General."
"And why is that, Solo?" Malad sneered. "Are you afraid the princess will reveal you as the Corellian k-tah you are?"
Han was about to explode at the major when the doctor entered the room.
Concern quickly replaced anger, as Solo asked anxiously, "How is she, Doc?"
The doctor glanced quickly at the general, seemingly hesitant to give out private information about the princess.
When Rieekan nodded his assurance, the doctor replied, "She is in excellent health given the circumstances. Captain Solo did an impressive job of keeping her stable in the days since her injury. Because of that, I expect her to make a full recovery. She should be strong enough to move to her quarters in a few days and should be ready to return to duty in a couple of weeks."
Relief washed over Solo like a waterfall, leaving his body so weak that he was forced to sit down.
"That's excellent news, Doctor," said Rieekan, replying for the suddenly silent Solo. "We understand that there was some memory loss as a result of the incident. Can you tell us what's happening there?"
"The memory loss is permanent, I'm afraid. The memories are still stored in her brain, but the pathways to the memories are blocked. She's fortunate in that she has only lost her most recent memories. Tests indicate exceptional recall for all events preceding this last mission."
"Can she remember anything about the past few days?" asked Rieekan.
"Her last memory is of boarding the Millennium Falcon and having a disagreement with Captain Solo."
Han's face fell at that information, but Rieekan was forced to suppress a smile. Those two were always bickering about something.
"What was the disagreement about?" asked Eleisoeve eagerly. He was just dying to get something incriminating on that despicable mercenary.
"I'm afraid you'll have to ask her that yourselves. She didn't go into detail about the incident."
Quickly changing the subject, Rieekan asked, "If the memories are there, is there a medical means to retrieve them?"
"Not without a risky surgery, which I would never agree to perform. Jeopardizing an entire future for the retrieval of a few memories breaks all the codes of medical ethics."
"Well, if you won't perform the surgery, I'm sure one of the medical droids could perform the procedure," said Eleisoeve, thinking aloud.
Finding his strength, Han stood up moved threateningly toward the major. "Now wait just one minute…."
The doctor cut him off, saying firmly, "The success rate of the procedure is just under twenty percent. No person or droid in my department will be performing such a surgery, period."
Rieekan stepped in, saying, "The health of the princess is paramount. We will not take any unnecessary risks with her life."
"But, sir…," Eleisoeve whined.
"That's an order, Major. The princess will not be sacrificed because of your department's failures."
"Yes, sir," Eleisoeve replied, defeated for the moment.
"We'd like to see her, Doctor," said Rieekan.
"Yes, of course. She's a bit weak, but she should be able to handle a short visit."
The general turned to Han and said gently, "We've got to ask her a few questions, but we won't be long. You'll be able to see her in a few moments."
"Thank you, General," he replied sincerely. He was glad to see at least one of the rebel commanders watching out for his princess.
Left alone once more, Han's weakness returned. Sinking down to a seated position, he silently thanked every Corellian and Alderaanian god and goddess he knew for Leia's recovery.
He then pondered the reality of her memory loss. If she couldn't remember anything after boarding the ship, that meant she had no memory of the events that had changed their relationship. She couldn't remember the mists from the waterfall bathing them in coolness as the touch of her lips ignited a blaze consuming body and soul. She couldn't recall the perfect harmony of their dance or the passion that had taken them both by surprise as the result of an accidental caress in the hot tub.
It physically hurt him to think of all the special moments she had lost, that they had both lost as a result of their encounter the Imperials. She would never know that he had admitted his love first, never understand the private jokes born of their playful banter. Even if he described each and every moment to her in detail, the experiences would never really be hers. As much as she relied on logic, she might not even believe him in the first place.
Guilt seized him then, as he blamed himself for causing her injuries. If he had simply avoided working for Jabba, he would have never met Ugatph, and he and Leia could have remained safely hidden in their hotel room on Ord Mantell. His greed was the cause of her injuries and could conceivably endanger her in the future. As the bounty on his head grew, more hunters would join in the search. He had to pay off Jabba now if he wanted to protect Leia and her cause.
It pained him to even consider leaving Leia, but he could think of no other way to protect her. Maybe the memory loss had been a blessing in disguise. If she couldn't remember the fact that they had fallen in love, she would be spared the pain of losing him if he were to be murdered by Jabba.
His own pain, however, would serve as both his penance and his motivation to survive. He vowed that he would pay off his debt to Jabba, find Leia and make her fall in love with him all over again. Her mind may have forgotten what had happened on the journey, but the feelings were still there, waiting to be tapped.
Han's train of thought was interrupted by a soft, "ahem."
"Captain Solo," the doctor said kindly. "General Rieekan asked me to inform you that you can see the princess now. She's asleep, but the general insisted that you be allowed to visit."
"Thank you, Doctor," Han said, rising quickly and rushing toward her room.
As he entered the room, his heart stopped beating for a moment. She was incredibly beautiful, her hair spilling gloriously about her head and her face relaxed and untroubled. Her color had improved tremendously over the past few hours and her expression was released from the pain that had marred her features over the past few days. He moved quietly to the bed, leaning over her and taking her hand in his. He stroked her hair gently with his free hand and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
Sitting down, he whispered, "Leia, I can't tell you this when you're awake, but I love you, Sweetheart. I'm gonna pay off Jabba and come back for you, I promise. Until then, I just want you to concentrate on getting well."
Words failed him then, so he tried to project his feelings for her one last time through the touch of his hands. He could not resist brushing her lips lightly with his own, sealing his promise to her. Placing her hand gently on the bed, he turned to go. Before he reached the door, however, he turned to see her one more time. "I love you, Leia," he called softly, then forced himself to leave while he still possessed enough strength to do so.