Author's note: This chapter requires some explanation. This story took over two years to complete, so my original readers had to patiently wait for weekly updates that often did not come. Plus, since there was no happy ending in sight, readers would often get frustrated with all of the angst. One of my good buddies on the board would often "threaten" to destroy authors of angst-ridden stories in an attempt to bring happiness to our favorite duo. In response to her hilarious attempts at persuasion, I wrote her into the story so that the "wrongs" could be "righted."

This chapter, then, is my vision of what would happen if RogueSticks (aka: Sticksy or the RogueTerrorist) hijacked the story. It has little to do with the actual narrative, so I could have omitted it from this posting. However, I just love this little chapter, and I couldn't bear to leave it out. Feel free to skip it if you wish. I'll probably post another (real) chapter much later today.

PS: I believe this chapter was written in 2004, so forgive the slightly dated references.

PPS: LadyPadme (mentioned in this story) is an award winning author of Han and Leia stories at the Jedi Council Forums (the JC). Her work is amazing, and I encourage H/L fans to check out her stories. You won't be disappointed.

At 0300, the chime on her door rang twice.

Jerked from sleep, Agent RogueSticks checked the chrono and grabbed her blaster. Moving stealthily to the door, RogueSticks peered through the peephole. To her surprise, she found a particularly evil looking character camped outside her door.

Intrigued, Sticksy opened her door and greeted her visitor with a stern look and a blaster leveled at his chest. "Who are you, and what do you want?"

"Never mind who I am. I'm here to do business. May I come in?"

"What kind of business?" she inquired skeptically.

"This is not the kind of business to discuss in the hall. I have a few secrets you might not like others to hear."

Relenting, RogueSticks allowed the mean looking character to enter the room, but kept the blaster trained on the mysterious man.

"What can I do for you?" she asked.

"It's my understanding, dear lady, that you have access to a certain kind of weapon."

"I don't know what you are talking about, sir. I'm sweet and innocent and would never do anything wrong."

"I beg to differ, my dear. It is a well known fact that you have threatened to use certain weapons of mass destruction on numerous occasions."

RogueSticks laughed, saying, "Threats on a message board mean nothing. You can't even prove that I'm the one who made those threats."

"Ah, but how do you think I was able to locate you? Your electronic trail led me directly to you."

"Why would you come here, though? There's absolutely no proof that I actually have such weapons in my possession. I just enjoy making idle threats when these silly authors put my favorite characters in danger. Someone has to look out for them."

"I have to admit that I would have never believed your threats either if not for certain incriminating evidence."

"What evidence is that?"

"Well, there's the mysterious disappearance of a certain author, LadyPadme. She did some terrible things to your favorite characters, and now she's missing."

"I had absolutely nothing to do with that."

"Oh, really? Then, how do you explain the complete destruction of the place called New Jersey? I do believe you threatened to blow up the area in response to LadyPadme's story."

"Why do you think New Jersey was destroyed?"

"Ben Affleck and J-Lo are starring in a movie called Jersey Girl, and there hasn't been a word of protest from the state. All the signs point to its complete destruction."

"Your evidence is circumstantial at best. You can't arrest me."

"Oh, I have no intention of arresting you. I just want one of your weapons of mass destruction."

"Why do you want one of these weapons I supposedly have access to?"

"Let's just say that revenge is sweet."

"And if I refuse?"

"I don't think you'll refuse me."

"Why is that?"

"Because I'm the head of Alliance intelligence, and I could make things very difficult for you."

"You've got no evidence against me."

"It doesn't matter…I can create my own evidence."

"What if I just shoot you now?"

"I wouldn't do that. People would come looking for me, and you would be caught."

"Who would come looking for you, you oversized pit stain? Everyone in this story hates you, and your only reason for existence is to serve as a lame plot device to keep Han and Leia apart. The Alliance (and the readers of this story) would probably give me a medal for shooting you right now."

"Yes, but if you shoot me now, you never get to find out how the story ends. You ruin all of that perfectly good angst."

"I'm sick of angst! All of these authors put my darling through torture for their own personal amusement. It must stop NOW!"

"We could work together and make these authors pay for torturing your characters. You could force them to write the kind of stories you want."

Tempted by such power, RogueSticks asked, "Why should I trust you, Malad? You have threatened to harm my darling as well."

"How did you know my name?"

"I've read the story, Malad. I'm not an idiot! What other character would come to my door late at night seeking WMDs? Rieekan? Chewbacca? I know…you assumed I would think that you're Luke. Give me a break!"

"RogueSticks, I'm not your father, but we're both powerful. Join with me, and together we can overthrow the evil QueenOfAces and rule the JC!"

"I'll NEVER join with you!"

"Then I guess I'll just have to kill you and take your destructo bomb."

Malad pulled out his lightsaber, and, snarling menacingly, proceeded to engage in some fancy swordplay.

Unimpressed, RogueSticks shot Malad.

"Why…why did you shoot me?" Malad said weakly.

"I've got a story to fix. Don't worry. I'm sure the QueenOfMean will resurrect you in a re-write when she finds I've hijacked her thread. At least all the readers will get one happy ending before that happens," RogueSticks said sweetly, walking briskly out of the door.

Princess Leia awoke to find an unfamiliar woman standing in her room. Confused and somewhat apprehensive, she asked, "Who are you?"

"I'm a friend. I've come to tell you the truth, since no one else around here seems willing to do so."

"What do you mean?"

"Han loves you."

"You're lying. Han doesn't love anyone but himself."

"You really are stubborn. Why do you think he's been hanging around the Alliance all this time? It's certainly not for the money."

"I don't know…maybe he wants to hide from Jabba the Hutt."

"Han's not the type to hide, and you know it."

"You're crazy. If Han is so in love with me, why hasn't he come to visit? You'd think that he would care enough about me to check on my health every now and then."

"For your information, Princess, he's been tied up…literally. Yeah, that's right—he agreed to be interrogated so that Alliance intelligence would not put your life at risk"

"What? I don't believe you."

"I figured as much. Here, read this."

Taking the data pad, Leia asked, "What is it?"

"It's a story called Undercover Operations. It will tell you all you need to know."

"How can a story help?"

"Just quit being so obstinate and read it. You are just as bad as Han!"

"I am not," the princess replied petulantly. Still, her curiosity got the better of her, and she began reading.

After a couple of minutes, she raised her head and stared at RogueSticks suspiciously. "How did you know all of this information? Have you been spying on me?"

"Of course not. I've just been reading this story at the JC."

"This information has been posted? No wonder the Imperials found us on Ord Mantell."

"No, no, no. You don't get it, do you? You're a character in a story. Well, actually, you were first a character in a movie, but people loved your character so much that they've been writing about you for the last twenty seven years."

"How is that possible? I'm only 20." the Princess replied, clearly puzzled.

Sighing, RogueSticks answered, "Well, it's complicated, but authors can make you any age they choose. They really seem to like this period of your life."

"Why is that?"

"For the UST, of course."

"The what?"

"UST—Unresolved Sexual Tension. You and Han are quite the couple in fanfics."

"What? We could never be a couple. I can't stand him!"

"Give me a break, Princess. You've been mooning over him since the first time you saw him on the Death Star."

"I have not!" the Princess replied, her voice rising.

"Listen, just read the story. The beginning should give you enough details to show that I'm right, and the rest of the story should prove what I said about Han."

Though hesitant, Leia could not resist reading the story further. It was amazing how the story captured even her most private thoughts. She read with particular interest as the story progressed beyond the point where she had lost her memory.

She recoiled in horror at the particularly nasty fight between them and blushed when Han had pulled her close.

Laughing at Leia's reaction, RogueSticks said, "If you're blushing now, I can hardly wait to see what you do when you get to the hot tub scene."

"There's a hot tub scene?" Leia asked urgently. "Where?"

Smirking, RogueSticks helped Leia fast-forward to the scene.

Leia's eyes widened in shock, but she quickly became engrossed in the story. She loved reading about Han's private thoughts, as they gave her so much insight into the man. How could she not believe that he was in love with her?

After two hours on an emotional roller coaster, Leia was finally convinced that Han was a man in love. She rejoiced when he finally told her that he loved her, cried when he was shot, and cried harder as he took care of her on the Falcon.

Turning to RogueSticks, she said, "Thank you for giving me my memories back. How can I repay you?"

Give me thirty minutes alone with Han…make that an hour. Shaking her head to clear that thought from her mind, RogueSticks said instead, "Go to Han, and give me that happy ending I've been promised for months."

Leia jumped up, gave RogueSticks a quick hug, and rushed from the room. She was a woman on a mission, and nothing would stop her now.

Arriving at the Falcon, Leia said a quick "hello" to a surprised Chewbacca, then rushed past him to find Han.

A brief attack of nerves caused her to hesitate at the door, but she quickly gathered her courage and entered the room.

Turning on the light, Leia's heart skipped a beat as she saw him lying in the bed. He had gone through so much for her, even agreeing to be questioned to protect her. She was thankful that Rieekan had looked after Han, but she made a mental note to get him back for his question at the end of the session. What a sneak!

Laughing softly, she moved towards Han's bunk. She sat down beside him and reached out to brush a stray lock of hair from his face. Her hand then moved gently down his face, pausing to cup his cheek. Leaning down, she kissed him tenderly.

Han awoke with a start, shocked to see Leia before him. Confused, he stuttered, "Leia, um, what's...uh…."

Leia cut him off before he could babble further. Smiling brilliantly, she said, "I know, and I love you."

Stunned into silence, Han could only watch helplessly as Leia's lips descended upon his once more. This time, he responded, kissing her passionately.

With no evil plot devices to stop them, Han and Leia were finally free to explore their feelings. Unfortunately, however, the JC is a PG board, so what happens next must be left to the imagination. Suffice it to say that the couple finally engaged in their "Undercover Operations," and it was good. ;)