KDZ: SOOOO sorry I didn't update sooner, and I've been getting angry e-mails! I've been kind of busy, plz forgive me, kk? Luv yah ALL!
Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of the Naruto characters, but I own sadness since this is the last chapter! This is my favorite story too!
Attention: Warning! School teachers, Nuts, Hankercheifed men, Chain smoking macho men, have been harmed in the making of this chapter!
Drivers Ed: Naruto Style!
Chapter 7: Drunken Rage! The last chapter!
Rock Lee let out a small cough, his throat hurt a bit. He was getting a bit of a cold, and everyone knew when you were sick you needed fluids! Just like everyone knew that EVERY ninja had to know how to shake their booty!
Rock Lee looked around for some substance that could help him, and immediately saw Gai-Sensei's water bottle.
Rock Lee snatched it and finished the whole bottle in one gulp, as the door was slammed open by his teammates.
"We're back…with muffins" Neji sighed as he stepped into the car; it seemed as if this stupid lesson was NEVER going to end!
Tenten dragged herself into the car; she had been forgiven for the…rampage? Since it was only farmers, like really…
The cop had been very suspicious about the sudden death of farmers and had been asking around if anyone knew anything about it, Gai-Sensei had blamed it on the lack of fish and chips.
"Did you say fish and chips?" the cop said shocked, "NOOOO! IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!" Chouji yelled running off the cliff, which Konoha seemed to have a lot of.
"Chouji, you fat ass!" Shikamaru yelled, going after him.
"Did those kids just jump over that cliff" the cop said in disbelief, "have a muffin" Gai-Sensei stuffed the muffin in the guy's face.
"MUONFSOBALFNONSFE" the man let out, "yeah…I love you too?" Gai-Sensei said patting him on his back.
But you see…things weren't going as well for the other teachers…
Back wit Tsunade
"WHY HAVEN'T ANY OF THE STUDENTS COMPLETED A FREAKING DRIVING LESSON" Tsunade shrieked at them.
The Sensei's kept quiet…they were ashamed of themselves…not only for actually knowing Gai-Sensei's birthday and acknowledging him of existing but for the sad fact that they had disappointed their Hokage.
"What about your students, Kurenai?" Tsunade hissed at the vampire, "I…I don't know! They just…WAAAAAAH" Kurenai burst into tears.
"You know Asuma? That Ninja's are no longer permitted into the BBQ bonanzas…we now have to send COMMENERS to get BARBEQUE? EMBARASSING!" Tsunade shot at them.
"I know" Asuma hung his head, he had been shooed away from the BBQ bonanza when he had been thinking about having a BBQ…'course Gai-Sensei might just invite himself again but like whatever, right? And it was REALLY awkward when Iruka was there, like really…who invited that guy? All he does is talk about his old students!
Not that they cared about his students miss-adventures of when they were younger or how Sakura got bubble-gum stuck in her hair when she was three years old and it never got out. Like what the Frick? He met Sakura when she was 10! Get a life!
"What about you Kakashi? What have you to say about your kids?" Tsunade snapped at the poor guy who thought he was cool and would be cool if he didn't act so cool all the time…get it? Good, 'cuz neither did the author when she wrote that 8)
"They're too…emotionally unstable to be driving" Kakashi said trying to put it lightly as lightly as he could.
"Emotionally unstable? Sure Sasuke reads but c'mon that's a little harsh" Asuma said standing up for the little kids.
"PSSH! Have you spent a freaking afternoon with those freaks? It's always! I'm the better, better, best! I hate the three minute wait of ramen-Sakura, love me! Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! Kakashi-Sensei, where have you been you just said you were going for a small walk it's been months! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!" Kakashi ranted.
"You better not let that freak Iruka hear you talking about his kids that way…jeez, you know how weird that guy is…WAY too emotional!" Kurenai said wiping away her tear-stained face. "Yeah…you're one to talk" Baki said sarcastically.
"Hey! When'd you get here?" Kakashi said amazed, "I was always here…" Baki said with a sigh, nobody really notices him probably 'cuz he covers his face with a handkerchief.
The handkerchief used to be pink, and then it got red with the bloodstains when kids used to beat him up for his gay handkerchief. So, he decided to settle for an ugly one. Not the cute pink one he had with the cute little ducky on it, he called it sir-quack-a lot. No one he got his ass kicked.
Suddenly an annoying shrieking noise had cut in with Baki's thoughts; he turned to see Asuma trying to close the blinds. "She's close" Asuma whispered in a raspy voice.
"HIDE ME!" Asuma yelled as he dove behind Tsunade's golden throne, like no wonder she was behind on debts!
"ASUMA-SENSEI!" Ino yelled as she ran into the room, and took a hard look at everyone in the room and noticed her Sensei just wasn't there.
Ino cursed under her breath and ran out of the classroom, "Dodged the blonde wench again! Whoot!" Asuma said happily as he crawled from under Tsunade's leg's who looked a little pissed off at his actions.
"Not like I'm gonna peek at some 100 something's woo-woo" Asuma said as he got slammed by Tsunade's golden scepter.
"Well it's true…" Asuma muttered as he rubbed his head.
"It's time to stop talking about my woo-woo and start talking about business" Tsunade said putting on her serious, it was like her constipated face but with her eyebrows bunched together so they knew she meant business and not Pepto Bismo!
Back with Rock Lee and group…
Rock Lee felt a little buzz as he started up the car, and couldn't really see anything but he decided not to let that get to him. This was his chance to show he wasn't a screw up like Three-Three and Neji!
Ok! Let's put the metal to the freaking pedal" e said as he flashed the side mirror a smile that went, PING! Turned on the music to hear lean wit it, rock wit it. (I only said that song 'cuz I'm listening to it now)
"PULL UP YOUR JEANS, SMOKE SOME GREEN" Rock Lee sang as he slammed on the pedal.
"What are jeans?" Gai-Sensei said pulling on his spandex, they were riding up to places he didn't even knew he had.
"You know gangsters, just say anything don't matter if it makes sense as long as it rhymes with the following word" Rock Lee said in a extremely fast manner.
"Can you slow down, Rock Lee! You might" Gai-Sensei was cut off by a slight crash. "What the hell was that?" Neji said waking up; Rock Lee slid out of the car and let out a manly cry of pain.
"Please just let it be a farmer, please just let it be a farmer" Gai-Sensei said once again begging into the heavens.
"Who cares? It was just a stinking squirrel!" Neji said rolling his eyes as he stood in front of the car, "MAMA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rock Lee sobbed. He betrayed his friends!
"It's just a fricken squirrel, jeez! Get over it, weirdo" Neji said as he gave his a small kick. But, Rock Lee was sobbing as he stared at the road kill.
"Rock Lee, I'll treat you to a big bowl of bubblegum ice cream and you can put nuts on them" Gai-Sensei said trying to console him. "WAAAH, I bet the squirrel liked nuts! Of course he did, he's a freaking squirrel WAAAAH" Rock Lee sobbed.
"It's ok, but you need to finish your lesson! I mean I need at least someone to finish their lesson! It'll be so embarrassing" Gai-Sensei wailed as he stared at his uncompleted yellow clipboard, which he had picked out especially for these lessons.
"I'm NEVER driving again!" Rock Lee said as he stared at the squirrel, "I owe it to Nuts" Rock Lee said showing them the dead squirrel in outstretched hands.
"Nuts? I can't believe the freak named it" Neji said angrily staring at the red colored squirrel, "because squirrels like nuts, right? Cute" Gai-Sensei said smiling at the squirrel.
"Nope, 'cuz of its package" Rock Lee said pointing to the squirrels…private parts.
"Ohhhhh…that's creepy…" Tenten said looking at the squirrel, "you're one to talk" Gai-Sensei muttered angrily.
"Look, let's just finish this stinking lesson! We've been doing this lesson for gawd knows how many chapters now!" Neji snapped.
"I guess you're right, we've had enough excitement for the day" Gai-Sensei said as he took the keys and drove them all home. Rock Lee petted the squirrel the whole time, Tenten just sat quietly plotting her revenge, and Gai-Sensei kept singing Check on it.
"OOOH, YOU SOOO SEXYY BOYYYYY" Gai-Sensei sang, as Neji finished the contents of Gai-Sensei's water bottle.
"LE GASP! No, Neji! That's alcohol" Gai-Sensei gasped, "I know" Neji slurred happily.
Eventually, Gai-Sensei had driven to the Hokage's room. Where the teachers were looking seriously pissed off and finally Gai-Sensei had figured out what had happened.
"SO THAN! HAHAHAA! You're going to LAUGH!" Iruka said laughing; "Naruto spilt his writing ink ALL over Hinata, and she had ink stains on her kimono for the rest of the evening" Iruka was doubling over with laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Asuma said joining him in his laughter, and then slapped Iruka across the face.
"No" Asuma said sternly, as Iruka stood their shocked. "So…what's up, guys?" Gai-Sensei asked them as he looked around at the Sensei's.
"No more driving lessons" Kakashi said with a sigh, "what? But, my students haven't even completed their lessons!" Gai- Sensei said panicking.
"Neither did ours" The teachers said in unison, "I thought you wanted the kids to drive! So, they could be like super ninja's racing in super sexy cars after bad guys" Gai-Sensei's whined.
"I did. And they will." Tsunade said simply, "but I thought you said no more driving lessons" Gai-Sensei said confused. "That is what I said" Tsunade said shrugging. "Um…okay, am I the only one confused here" Gai-Sensei said looking around at the other Sensei's.
"Did you just bitch slap me?" Iruka said finally snapping out of it, "Yeah…whatcha going to do about it, punk?" Asuma said rolling his eyes.
"This!" Iruka said slapping him back, "BITCH!" Asuma said slapping him back. "Whore!" Iruka said clapping him upside his head.
"It's about to be a what?" Kurenai sang, "GIRLFIGHT!" Kakashi and Tsunade yelled. "STOP FIGHTING! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?" Gai-Sensei yelled.
"Oh, yeah! They'll still be having driving lessons; just you guys aren't going to teach them anymore! So, now can we get back to the cat fight" Tsunade said pointing to the guys who were scratching at each other with their manicures.
"Stop acting like immature school girls" Baki glared, "FCUK YOU, HANDKERCHIEF BOY" Iruka yelled at him. "Oh, NOW it's on" Baki said tackling the school teacher to the floor.
"Wait…so, they'll be more chapters of this story? It thought this would be the last chapter?" Gai-Sensei said confused, "Yah…of the first part, Driver's Ed: Naruto Style Part 2 should be coming out soon! Very soon! So keep on the look out for Part two which you can get if you keep this story on Story Alert" Tsunade said talking to no one really.
"So, I guess this is the end of me teaching driving experience" Gai-Sensei said sadly, "Yeah! But, can we get back to the bitch fight, NOW?" Tsunade said cheering as Iruka took a hit to the stomach. God, that guy was annoying!
"GO BAKIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Tsunade sang happily.
And so ends…Part one ) And to come, the students have to attend a real driving school and that means those lame tests, learning CPR, and so much more! Will these Genins ever get their stinking driving lessons and drive sexy cars chasing after bad guys? Well…I guess we'll all have to wait and see, eh?
--- KarmaDreamz
REPLY TO MY LOVELY REVIEWERS!
Gaara-Chibi: LOL! Thanks for the funny review!
Suzuyuki: Aw, thank you! And thanks for the review too!
Gohan209: In my opinion it was pretty bad, LOL! Thanks for saying the chapter was good! I'm glad people actually liked that chapter; I thought I wasn't going to get any reviews for it. Thanks for the review, it really cheered me up!
RinSohma: I can't hear it either, LOL! But, I have a feeling it's pretty bad! Sorry for the late update, hope you can forgive me? Thanks for the review and hoped you like this chapter!
BasicallyAnIdiot: LMFAO! Poor chair. Thanks for the review!
Kelsey: I know! I always thought that about Sidewalk chalk, LOL! I tried to get a six year old to eat the chalk to tell me if it was true but she wouldn't. Gai-Sensei and Rock Lee aren't scared of Tenten anymore, I guess… )
Shanghai Honey: LOL! Thanks for all the reviews and hopefully you didn't kill lol! And thanks for all the kind comments about my story! They were pretty much the reason I actually updated this story! So keep reviewing, plz?
silverfangedgoddess09: Oh, the sand sibs? Yeah, lol! They're lessons are coming, I didn't want them in the first part for some reason but they'll be in the third part as well as the second so don't worry about not having chapters about them. They are the best, especially Gaara! Thanks for the review!
angel6 aka trinigyal: Yo, long time no reply review through Fanfic, eh? My March break was ok, like to tell you the truth nothing special. Hopefully, yours was good! TTYL!
And so ends my replies, and now I should get cracking on Part 2 of Driver's Ed. Later Days!