3
Before Mary Bennet was even permitted to explore the vast lands surrounding Chamberlain Hall again, she was once again consumed into the world she wished to be not a part of. At breakfast and supper, she had to tolerate her married sister's plans for a ball she was to be throwing, and Mary could not help but notice the smug looks upon her sister's face as she inquired her opinions on the matter.
When her dress from Pemberley was delivered a few days after Edward had informed her that he had sent word for it, he and his wife attempted through every means of their logic and reason to convince Mary if she would allow the servants to help her ready herself for the new visitor of Chamberlain Hall who would arrive the following day for the ball. To such persuasions, Mary merely laughed and would retire before she could hear another word on her behalf, and would not even allow William to enter her room, for fear he, too, might attempt to convince her otherwise.
The night of the ball presented itself rapidly amidst all of the tasks that had to be performed days prior to the event. Mary had slipped on her sapphire blue gown, and as she gazed in the mirror, she saw the change in her. Her face still held the same homely features that had deemed her undesirable so far, and yet within these same characteristics, she noticed more how the attributes she always thought satisfactory actually appeared quite handsomely. Her time at Pemberley had taught her that by merely keeping her hair down, cascading down her back, she could look far more handsome than she would with it up. Her hair had become her primary beauty, and Mary grew pleased with how she had grown it out, despite Mrs. Bennet's protests at first. With it down, the darkness of her hair brought out the satin color of her skin, which allowed for bright cheeks and lips to contrast with its fairness. She remained now no more beautiful than her sisters, but for herself, the improvement caused her to smile at her reflection.
"I suppose I should take satisfaction in my slight augmentation of my appearance," Mary remarked, pleased at how the dress still did her much justice and she would likely be noticed for it, before eyes were laid upon her plain face. "Perhaps I shall not be so much a disappointment as one would initially think."
As she walked towards the ballroom, she caught glimpses of her reflections in glass cabinets and such as she passed through halls. Each time she came to pass and saw herself, the smile upon her face widened, until she felt at the pinnacle of self-satisfaction. However, such moments of joy rarely last for long, and as she gazed below at the merriment that was occurring down one more hall after she would descend the stairs, she found herself hesitating before running away back towards her room.
How could it be that I find myself in such circumstances? That I should end up within the household of a man who had promised me the life I had been striving for, that mama had been striving for, since I had been born? This was a man to which I had felt such injury towards, and though I have supposedly forgiven his grievances, it does appear that I am at an awkward disposition to allow myself to be entirely at his disposal. For that IS where I shall be, surely, if ever I do come within the acquaintance of a man at Chamberlain Hall who does not slight me as Edward Pendleton has but chooses to keep to his promise and marry me. However could I allow myself to be placed here, where I should desire to be anywhere else? I know not another living soul who might choose to reside within the home of a man who might have been her husband at one point of her life, had he not been so cruel in his actions. Does this man know so little of me, this man who might have married me instead of my sister, to choose to provide me with happiness by throwing a ball in my favor? What ridiculous nonsense, considering no ball can possibly provide me with such, and now, cast in the attire from my previous ball and at the house of the man with which this gown had first enchanted…… can I truly be so foolish as to even provide myself with such pain by placing myself within this current situation? It does appear as if I forget of myself as well, for would I have so easily found myself within the grasp of my ridiculous sister and a husband that might have been my own, had I thought more deeply of the situation and realized the atrocity of it? It is true what Georgiana has realized for myself, as has William, that I desire to undergo new things, but this is most certainly not the means in which to provide me with such an opportunity.
"Mary?" William's knocking did not fade as minutes past where she did not reply. "My Lord, Mary, I know you are here! I have already checked the library and other such places where books might be found, and this is all that remains. Do come out!"
"William, I cannot go down there." Mary replied, not moving from where she sat at her writing desk. "I care not to meet any man to whom Edward thinks might be suitable for me. I cannot believe that I should allow myself to even come here, after all that he has done towards me. I have been so very foolish…"
"Foolish? Mary, you are the last person to whom has the reason to call yourself…"
"I was never one to be so emotional, but I feel as if it has caught up with me at last." Mary responded. "It does appear as if I shall be tossed in front of every man this side of the world before I die. Can I not just find one? That is all I ask for… not numerous suitors, nor a triangle to which I have men fighting on my behalf, but just a single man to whom might enjoy my presence not because I had someone with connections to him who thrust me towards him enough times that he grew used to me being beside him, but one who chose to seek me out, so that I might be there alongside him."
"It is what every person hopes for, you know."
"And am I so very different that I might not possess similar sentiments?"
"Not at all," William shook his head, even though Mary could not see him when a door separated them both. "But, Mary, perhaps you might think of such things when you do not have others waiting for your presence? I do not say this to seem callous to what you are feeling, but much preparations were done so that you might meet this man to whom my master desires that you become acquainted with."
"I suppose I might brood upon such thoughts at a better time," Mary agreed and opened the door. "I might pretend to wish to be here, and that this is what I desire that I should do. I have spent eighteen years perfecting such an act, first for mama's sake, and now for Edward's. Perhaps I should pursue theatre at some point of my life?"
"Whatever it may be that you choose to indulge yourself in, Mary, I am most certain that you shall succeed."
Her arrival at the ball went unnoticed for some time, and Mary Bennet placed herself upon a chair as she waited young couples dance past her. Across the room, she could see her sister enthralled with her new husband, smiling widely as any young bride and, devoid of her usual smugness while in Mary's presence, she could not deny that her sister truly was enraptured by Edward Pendleton. It was upon the following dance that she turned from where she watched her sister to find a man standing before her.
He wore a starched outfit of the same dark blue, and it struck her as odd that any other person might have found material of the same tone as her own. Though of a thinner physique than most men, he was rather tall, and she could see that he would tower above her if she chose to stand. Dark hair was parted in a polished fashion, and he wore thin rimmed spectacles that rested upon a long, aristocratic nose.
"Might I be indulged in your company for a bit, Miss?" he inquired, bowing as he held out a hand.
"Mary!" out of the corner of her eye, she could see Edward and Mary skipping over. "It does appear as if you have already met Mr. Richardson."
"I was just about to introduce myself, Edward." He informed. "As you have heard, I am Thomas Richardson of East Yorkshire as well. I grew up with Edward here."
"He is a scholar of literature," Edward grinned. "I do think, therefore, you have much to discuss with my dear friend in that regards. He is surely to possess the same literary appetite as your own."
"Oh, you are sure to have something in common!" Kitty Bennet announced happily.
"I suppose I should introduce myself," Mary told Mr. Richardson when they had moved away to dance. "I am Mary Bennet. My sister has recently wed Edward Pendleton, and he has been generous enough to invite me for some duration of time to reside within his estate here at Chamberlain Hall."
"You are most fortune," Mr. Richardson responded. "But, I do suppose Edward was always very hospitable. He is very much the gentleman. Always was."
"I suppose."
"Do you not agree?"
"He is a gentleman, in the broad sense." Mary answered. "However, I know not how I might think of a man who promises me that he intends to marry me, if only I would wait for him to return, and I wait to find he has decided to marry my sister instead during my absence."
"Pardon me, but that does not sound like Edward."
"Oh, but it is…" Mary did not hesitate to explain despite her companion's uncomfortable disposition. "I might not have had a thought towards the man, had he not first decided to declare his intentions to me before he departed. Surely presenting me with such false hope is far from the acts of a gentleman. And then, the passionate love he was so sure of before was so easily eradicated upon the insistence of Lady Catherine De Bourgh that he marry my sister. He had known her less than he had known me, but he chose my sister merely because it was the easiest decision with which he might partake in."
"It does appear as if you have much ill feelings towards my friend," Mr. Richardson noted, and he kept a further distance from her after her tirade. "Might I inquireif such sentiments do exist, why it is you are residing within his home so willingly?"
"If I may be perfectly candid with you, it is not with him that I am entirely so infuriated with." Mary sighed. "In actuality, it is probably a lifetime of frustrations and exasperations that I now speak of with you. Edward is not so terrible, I am sure, but life does appear so very hopeless when such incidents such as this seem to occur far too often. And now it does appear as if I have ruined yet again another possible suitor by so carelessly rambling on about such nonsense. If you may excuse me, Mr. Richardson, I do feel as if I have caused myself enough mortification for one night."
Half through the dance, Mary marched off to leave Mr. Richardson standing amidst the dancers. He did not move, but watched her disappear into the crowd. His own logistics told him that his companion in this dance had been most emotionally unstable, and in his short acquaintance with her, such an attribute could not possibly be deemed desirable, and yet he found himself smiling despite all her previous ridiculousness, remembering how enchanting her eyes had been, as if he could see the very thoughts that collided with one another within her head.
4
Jonathan Cadaver had heard news of a ball at Chamberlain Hall and, though he was not one who initially found much joy in attending such events, he did recall that his brother's friend from a few days prior was residing at that particular location. He did remember his brother's warning not to interfere with her, and he was not one to indulge himself in relations that might threaten consequences, but he had not been in the acquaintance of an affable woman for far too long for him to bypass such an opportunity.
He was not formally invited, nor did he possess any clothes appropriate for such an event, but he knew of his connections and he knew that would be sufficient enough to provide him with what he was in need of acquiring for the night. His brother was found by the kitchen, where a wagon was still unloading cargo for some of the dishes for the evening. William was explaining to a group of younger boys the task at hand, and at the sight of his brother approaching, he sent them off.
"John?" William pulled him aside. "Whatever are you doing here? If my master were to…"
"It is a big enough place, brother," Jonathan shrugged. "What are the chances that he be at this particular part of the house when there are hundreds of other rooms where he might possibly be? Probability is in my favor, dear brother."
"Then what are you doing here?"
"I have heard there is a ball tonight…"
"Jonathan, there are only certain people who are invited."
"Perhaps I might be…"
"Do you understand the consequences that might befall me, if you were detected?"
"I promise to be an exemplary display of the epitome of a gentleman," Jonathan bowed. "It is not often that I might ask of such favors from you, brother. Please indulge an aging man some of his last requests?"
"And if I allowed you to enter the ball?" William inquired. "Whatever might you wear? You would certainly be noticed if you wore… whatever you might call that."
"It is not so bad as it looks," Jonathan looked down at his shirt. "I have had many a lady not disagree with the attire…"
"I am sure," William remarked and then looked up abruptly. "This sudden interest to attend the ball at Chamberlain Hall is not on account of the fact you recall that Mary Bennet is visiting here? John… do tell me that is not why you have come."
"She is not like the other girls, Will…"
"Oh, I am sure…"
"She is different."
"Different enough for you not to lay a finger upon her," William warned. "I shall not have her further hurt from another man who dares to lead her in such an insolent manner."
"This is your brother you speak of."
"And so I know you better than all else," William retorted. "Do not try to evade what you know so well to be true. If I permit you to go, you must promise me…"
"I shall never place any harm upon your precious Miss Bennet," Jonathan promised. "My, perhaps you should go and marry the woman so you need not worry over her any longer."
"I am engaged, brother, and not to her."
"This is a surprise," Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "I was so certain that you were in love with her."
"Oh, Mary is nothing but a friend."
"A friend?" Jonathan seemed skeptical. "I have many friends, brother, with women."
"Not that kind of friend!"
"And you do not love her?"
"I am in love with another, John." William told him. "At first, when I had met her, I thought I might love her, but she has grown as dear to me as a sister. I feel responsible towards her well-being as if I may well be a sibling and I care not if that means I must prevent her from developing close relationships with men like my own brother."
"My, we are so very different, brother." Jonathan remarked with a laugh. "Your attachment is quite inspiring, but I am still in need of attire for the night."
"I shall allow you to borrow a suit of my master's," William winced as he thought of it. "I shall choose one he has not worn as of late and is likely to toss out next he clears out his wardrobe."
"I am sure the man cannot keep track of all he owns," Jonathan patted his brother on the back. "Despite it all, I do enjoy your company, Will. You have been a good brother."
"And you," William smiled. "Though I do wish you had chosen to live a more reputable and respectable life."
"I do not think I have been respectable once in my life," Jonathan replied. "A lot of good primogeniture does me, brother, when you shall fare better than I."
"But can that be blamed on our birthright, John?"
"No, I take the entirety of the blame."
"At least you realize the errors of your ways."
"I embrace it," Jonathan told him. "I have learned that life does provide a more exciting journey when you come to the acceptance of such personal defaults. We are all prone to some habit or another. I merely have more so than all else."
Jonathan Cadaver had adorned himself in a suit of light blue that William had found neglected in a dark corner amongst Edward Pendleton's attire. The same hue as his eyes, it did appeared as if he had purchased it on his own behalf, and the drab piece of fabric appeared new as he strolled about the vicinity. He had kept his word and did not make advances on any ladies within the room, though he felt many an eye upon him and a few blushes and smiles as he passed. However, tonight, he had only one lady in mind.
He first spotted her amongst a group of people conversing. A man stood beside her in a suit that matched her own, and Jonathan Cadaver smirked at how the two matched so perfectly and wondered if such an outfit was planned prior.
"My, the Missy did not appear as one who would take so much care in matching her partner for the evening…" Jonathan commented to himself, sitting against a wall and observing them.
When he saw her walk away from the man, he found himself smirking at the look upon her face. He knew women enough to recognize that the expression was one that demanded she be left alone, but he followed her nonetheless as she walked through the crowd and exited through the front door.
In the moonlight, he could see it lighting up her sleek hair. Fully exposed without a hood, he noticed how luscious it was, and from behind she appeared as royalty in a silk dress the color of the night sky and her hair shimmering from the twilight. Mary continued with her hurried pace until she reached the first large tree, to which she leaned against it and slid to the floor. Her head propped atop her knees, Jonathan Cadaver felt himself holding his breath.
"Mary Bennet…" he had not first intended to allow the words to surpass his lips.
"Who's there?" Mary's head came up and she saw the dark figure nearby. "Show yourself!"
"Was your partner for the evening not up to par?" Jonathan inquired, smiling as he approached her. "His suit a shade too light to match exactly with your own gown?"
"We did not plan to match, if that is what you intend to imply with those words." Mary responded in an irritated tone. "I had never met the man before this night."
"It seems as if I face a new woman than that which I had met before."
"That is because that is me when I allow myself to be careless," Mary frowned. "It is the careless one who forgives too easily and then chooses to live with the very man who hurt her by marrying her sister. It is the careless one who has no where to go, for I shall forever be juggled between my married sister's homes in hopes some man might fall for me or reside at home with mama, which is just as worse, for she does not mind half so much as my sisters in making me ridiculous."
"You certainly do not restrain your troubles, even from strangers…"
"I have come, up to this point, to stop caring about such complaisance…" Mary shifted and placed her head upon her knees once more. "When I was not so blithe in how I acted, I progressed no more than I do now, being preposterous. I am so utterly confused with it all."
"How old are you, Miss Mary?"
"Eighteen."
"And you are worrying about getting married?" Jonathan chuckled. "It seems that is all that people wish for women to think of, since the day they are born. Marriage. It is as if life will never begin for a person until they are safely within wedlock."
"My sentiments exactly."
"I do reassure you there is more to life," Jonathan went on when she did not respond. "Perhaps it does not appear so reassuring, coming from my lips, but I have seen things no other person may. Experienced things that no other may boast of undertaking, and I do not think me to be married at any time close to this moment."
"You need not have to convince me," Mary told him, though her eyes did not waver from where they were fixated into the distance. "I never believed such a thought. It is merely all that society makes a person believe they are."
"William is right," Jonathan remarked. "You are a very intelligible lady, Miss Mary."
"I do hope that I may boast of at least that, for it is all that I have to recommend myself."
"Do you wish to tell me you think that to be your only satisfactory attribute?"
"As far as I am concerned," Mary stood. "It has been quite therapeutic to converse with you thus far, Mr. Cadaver, but I think I shall retire for the night. Balls drain me so very much."
"Please," Jonathan reached out and placed a hand upon her arm as she passed him. "Call me John. Jonathan if you wish to still be a tad bit formal, but I shall leave that choice entirely for you…"
"Why are you…" Mary looked down at his hand, which he did not remove.
"Mary!" looking up, Mary saw a small group of people running across the field.
"Oh my Lord," Mary breathed. "However do I find myself in such predicaments?"
"Mary, I was worried… where have you…" Edward stopped his words when he saw Jonathan standing beside her. "What is the meaning of this?"
"Oh, my," Mary's sister placed a hand above her mouth to conceal her giggles. "It does appear as if Mary has a lover!"
"Do not be ridiculous, Kitty." Mary retorted. "I barely know the man."
"Then whyever are you out in the middle of the night with a stranger?" Edward interrogated. "Whyever did you abandon Mr. Richardson here, when the entire ball was prepared so you might become better acquainted with him?"
"If you were to acquaint me with a man, Edward, a ball is a perfectly irrational way with which to gain acquaintance!"
"Oh, here she goes again…" Kitty rolled her eyes. "I told you, Edward, that she would be nothing but…"
"Allow me to finish, I am not your dear Lydia for you to finish my statements!" Mary snapped. "A small gathering would have provided better opportunity for acquaintances, Edward. It would be better if conversation instead of dancing were the order of the day."
"She was always so ridiculous, Edward…" Kitty placed a hand upon her husband. "I told you that we should not have had her stay. Perhaps later in our marriage, when we have more tolerance for such nonsense…"
"Oh, now it is I who am the ridiculous one?" Mary laughed. "My, Kitty, what a surprise it is to hear such words from you, when upon first inclinations, one is to suspect you to be nothing but a mindless puppet of Lydia."
"Do not compare me to her, Mary!" Kitty argued. "I am not Lydia!"
"Oh, but you are just as ridiculous… with your head filled with similar nonsense and carelessness, as if life were so very simple and…"
"I have had enough of my comparisons with her!" Kitty covered her ears. "Enough! Can I not escape it? Enough of comparing me to someone that I am not! I shall never be Lydia, regardless of what it may be that you say, Mary. Regardless of what all may say. I am my own person. I shall never be like any of you, and none of you shall ever be like me, so why must we constantly juxtapose and weigh who might be the better of the batch and can we not just escape it all and be happy!"
"What a mouthful…" Jonathan muttered in a remark to himself that Mary overheard.
"What an acute observation, Mr. Cadaver."
"Cadaver?" Edward's attention now turned towards Jonathan. "Is that any relation to William Cadaver?"
"Not at all, sir," Mary felt her face go blank at how well Jonathan was able to tell falsehoods. "I have never heard of such a person before."
"Really…"
"John!" Mary's jaw dropped when she saw William emerge from the house yelling, his arms flailing as he ran over. "I told you! I told you to stay out of trouble, and here you are, causing a scene, and…"
It was a ridiculous situation entirely for every person within the group. Mary Bennet could not be more dumbfounded and speechless in all she had beheld in her sister's first individualistic declaration and the discomfited circumstances that Jonathan, and now, William Cadaver had placed themselves into. Edward Pendleton had never appeared so infuriated, with his face red and his eyebrows arched together as the realization of the scene before him settled in. Catherine Bennet stood with a hand over her mouth, no longer to cover a smug grin or giggle, but to compress the cries which she fought to contain within her. Poor Mr. Richardson stood within the background, observing it all and with a look of sheer bewilderment upon his face, as if he had never seen a more undomesticated sight before throughout the longevity of his life.
"So you have no relations with this man, sir?" Edward inquired from Jonathan again.
"Sir, please forgive my brother…" William bowed.
"It appears your own kin told me the answer I needed."
"He was foolish, I know, but it is not entirely his own fault. He… he is unruly and uncultivated and knows not the manners of civilized life. He…"
"It is not his manners that I question tonight, William." Edward interrupted, bearing down harshly upon the young boy who had tried so desperately to assist his brother's position. "It is how this man, who is so obviously unrefined, managed to enter Chamberlain Hall's ball when I had servants who guarded the entrance to prevent scoundrels like him from entering and intruding."
"Sir, if I may explain…" Jonathan stepped forward.
"You had your opportunity to explain!" Edward snapped in an irritable manner that had even Jonathan stepping back. "William, explain to me how such a scandal occurred."
"Sir, I did not think any wrong might occur from permitting him to enter." William lowered his head. "He had given me his word, and I had trusted him."
"I can see this gent is a true man of his word…"
"Please, this is my brother you speak of." William begged. "I cannot explain to you how he found himself at this present location outside of your humble dwellings, but he was of the highest behavior while he was indoors, even you must note. He did not cause scandal with any of the women, although I am most certain he had opportunity."
"Of course I had opportunity," Jonathan grinned.
"Brother, please…" William shot him a look of warning. "He was perfectly amiable to those he found within his acquaintance during the evening, and he has maintained impeccable cleanliness in regards to your overcoat and…"
"My what?"
"Your…" William shrunk at the realization of what he had allowed himself to reveal. "Sir, I..."
"Not only did you permit a stranger into my home, William, but you stole for him as well? From my own belongings?" Edward shook his head. "William, I cannot afford to have such carelessness residing within someone with whom I have placed so much responsibility. So much of the maintenance of my estate is in your hands, and this evening has displayed that you are lackadaisical in your duties. I simply cannot permit this to occur, especially within my own household staff."
"Sir, please…"
"I am sorry, William, but your services are no longer required…"
"But…"
"That is enough, William." Edward ordered. "I do hope you are able to obey this last demand of mine and remain silent, for I am through with you."
"Edward!" Mary called as he departed, his arm around his crying wife. "Edward, I am speaking to you!"
"You are free to leave as well, Mary." Edward called back. "Your stay at Chamberlain Hall has expired."
As a child who has followed a trail in the darkness guided only by a small candle that he was provided with, William Cadaver fell to the ground and wept, knowing well that his light had distinguished and he was left abandoned in the darkness without another way with which to guide him to the point that he was currently heading. Jonathan bent down to comfort his brother, and Mary stood, first looking down at the Cadaver brothers and then at the retreating figure of Edward Pendleton and his wife. Tonight had revealed much to her on the character of Edward Pendleton, and for the first time, she was relieved in his choice of marrying Kitty over her. Never might a man of such callousness, lack of sympathy, and of such a weak disposition that he might not even control his temper provide her with the happiness that might possibly last a lifetime. This chapter of her life had reached an end, and Mary Bennet, despite the dejection of this moment, felt truly free from her previous sentiments of the evening.
As this all occurred, Mr. Richardson stood with his mouth still gaped wide. His eyes shifted from the two men on the ground and the woman who had disregarded him the entire evening. Unsure of why he had not done so before, Mr. Richardson turned and returned towards Chamberlain Hall to join the ball once more.
AN:In case I get in trouble for this, Ihad Mary quote a statement that she had said in the film adaptation of Jane Austen'smasterpiece staring KieraKnightley. Just thought I might clear that up for you, if the statement sounded vaguelyfamiliar. Now, dowhat you do best and tell me what you think...