Yeah…I'm finally updating this fic…After finishing Darkness, and writing up Madness to like Chapter 20 so far while maintaining the slightly more popular Shinji's Stronghold…I didn't really want to abandon this fic…

This of course was my first fanfic on the site, so the first three chapters or so were crude and such, but I came back with two alright chapters, and rereading them, I still don't want to abandon this fic.

So let's go.

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL!

Zankoku na tenshi no you ni
Shonen yo, shinwa ni nare...

Aoi kaze ga ima mune no doa wo tataitemo,
Watashi dake wo tada mitsumete
Hohoenderu Anata
Sotto Fureru mono
Motomeru koto ni muchuu de,
Unmei sae mada shiranai itaikena hitom

Dakedo itsuka kizuku deshou
Sono senaka ni wa
Haruka mirai mezasu tame no
Hane ga aru koto...

Zankoku na tenshi no te-ze
Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu
Hotobashiru atsui patosu de
Omoide wo uragiru nara
O-zora wo daite kagayaku
Shonen yo, shinwa ni nare

Zutto nemutteru watashi no ai no yurikago
Anata dake ga yume no shisha ni
Yobareru asa ga kuru
Hosoi kubisuji wo tsukiakari ga utsushiteru
Sekai-ju- no toki wo tomete
Tojikometai kedo...

Moshi mo futari aeta koto ni imi ga aru nara,
Watashi wa, sou, jiyu- wo shiru
Tame no Baiburu

Zankoku na tenshi no te-ze
Kanashimi ga soshite hajimaru
Dakishimeta inochi no katachi
Sono yume ni mezameta toki
Dare yori mo hikari wo hanatsu
Shonen yo, shinwa ni nare

Hito wa ai wo tsumugi nagara rekishi wo tsukuru
Megami nante narenai mama
Watashi wa ikiru...

Zankoku na tenshi no te-ze
Madobe kara yagate tobitatsu
Hotobashiru atsui patosu de
Omoide wo uragiru nara
O-zora wo daite kagayaku
Shonen yo, shinwa ni nare

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Episode 29

Serenity in Chaos

Tokyo 3, Japan

NERV Headquarters, NERV Infirmary

Asuka Langley Sohryu stood next to the bed, staring at the frozen visage of the human being that had once been known as Shinji Ikari.

She stared at him listlessly, no sneer, no tears, she had a blank look on her face, as if she too were comatose.

He was nothing but a shell now, after the battle with Kaworu, something had happened. None of the doctors, even Dr. Akagi herself could clearly diagnose the reason he had fallen into the comatose state he was currently in.

There were suggestions of battle stress or psychological damage, or some unknown influence by Kaworu himself, since Angels were still largely mysterious and capable of anything.

However, the Final Messenger had come, and with it's passing there had come a deep gloom upon NERV Headquarters, a nauseating calm, as all waited for what would come next, the demilitarization of NERV, perhaps. Or perhaps something far more nefarious.

Meanwhile, a puff, a cloud of smoke next to the door, and the prying eyes of Naota Kiriyama, peering in at the two oblivious pilots, a cigarette between his lips.

Hmm…One pilot incapacitated now…the other missing…I wonder if this was in the plan…I hate to feel happy for their woes, but this'll just make everything easier when the time comes.


Unknown Location

Munich, Germany

A darkness, and then light shimmering off obelisks, standing solemn in the dimly-lit, vast chambers.

And then, a steel-tongued voice with the hint of a German accent.

"This was most certainly not in the scenario."

"I cannot comprehend it…Tabris was not meant for this purpose…"

"He was the Lamb of God, not a Wolf to be used by the Ikari."

"Ikari has gone too far in incapacitating his cowardly brood."

"Indeed…without the Catalyst, the Scenario cannot go into motion as effectively."

"No matter, my colleagues, no matter. I believe there is still another candidate, who although may not be sufficiently filled with distrado, will do."

"I doubt she will be sufficient, her personality file lists her as abrasive and violent, not the characteristics of a Lamb of God, not the qualities of a Catalyst."

"Yet, we cannot show our weakness to Ikari, we must be proactive in our attempts, we must take control of this situation through force."

"But without the Catalyst, that scenario is useless!"

For once, it seemed, the chambers of SEELE were full of voices, voices that had usually remained calm and emotionless, until now, voices were slowly being raised and there were tinges of anger and emotion in them.

"Then we must raise the distrado level of the other candidate!"

"What methods do we have left to our disposal?"

"Arael was our main tool in that area, but it was a secondary matter at that point in the scenario…Perhaps we can use the other child?"

"Then we would simply be playing into Ikari's hands. She was created for his purpose, for his scenario, an obedient shell. We cannot allow it."

"Yet she has only one soul, Lillith cannot simply be spread. We must endeavor to capture her at once, and twist her to our bidding and our scenario."

"Yet the mass-production units are still not complete! We only have half of the projected number prepared!"

"It was not in the scenario…but we have no choice, we must go ahead with the invasion. Contact the Japanese government along with all other sources…"

"We must show Ikari that we are no simple fools to toy with."

Tokyo 3, Japan

NERV Headquarters, The Commander's Office

Gendo Ikari sat, brooding, his hands, as always, folded in front of his face in the dimly-lit chambers.

Beside him stood the solemn, silent, lanky and ever-present Sub-Commander, who peered at Gendo from time to time, and finally whispered.

"The council will not stand for this…You ruffled their feathers Gendo, you knew what they had planned, and now this?"

Gendo smirked behind his hands and spoke in a clear and concise voice.

"The old men never planned to stand for anything, anything but destruction. This break in the scenario was inevitable, it will only speed up our own plans, in the end."

"What about Rei? Is she ready?"

"Rei is always prepared for her final task…She is being shipped over presently after testing in the newly rebuilt Matsushiro Secondary Test Facility…"

"And your son?"

Gendo seemed to pause in the silence, the last word of Fuyutsuki echoing in the dark chambers.

Then he spoke, his voice arid and emotionless.

"What about my son?"

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Episode 28

Distant Souls

Tokyo 3, Japan

NERV Headquarters, Detention Wing

Ritsuko Akagi lay against the cold floor of the prison cell, a human heap as she passively allowed her mind to run into memories of the past.

Ritsuko Akagi leaned back into her chair, sighing into the phone as she typed slowly on her computer keyboard with her other hand.

"No…no…I'm fine…Oh so she's wandered off. Yeah…probably, cats know when the end is close…Don't cry Grandma, you shouldn't cry. I'll try to come home if I can…No, I haven't been to Mom's grave in three years…Okay, I'll call you next time…Talk to you soon."

Putting the receiver down, she turned as she heard the door to her office click open.

Dr. Akagi sighed as the pale young girl entered the room, turning away from those crimson eyes with a deep spite.

"Were you waiting long, Rei?"

"No…not very."

"Uh-huh? Well you know the drill, hold out your arm."

Ritsuko stood, tapping the syringe she had pulled out of her desk and looking around her office.

"Yes."

She tightened the knot around Rei's arm and slowly plunged in the syringe, noticing in awe that Rei had actually flinched, if only slightly.

"Rei…you've changed Rei. I saw you yesterday out walking with Shinji. Is that why you've started to look…more like a human being?

"Is that…wrong?"

Ritsuko smiled, an artificial gesture and removed the syringe and then the knot.

"No, of course not! I'm just surprised, that's all. I thought you only had eyes for Commander Ikari."

Ritsuko turned away, to hide her sneering face, and continued.

"What…can it be? Just a doll- that's all I thought…But I stand impressed. Both father and son, wrapped around your little finger."

"I'm…I'm not a doll. It's true that I only liked Commander Ikari…But isn't that true for you too, Dr. Aka-"

Ritsuko Akagi's face twisted into pure animal rage as she leapt onto Rei like a wolf, wrapping the cord around the thin girl's neck, twisting and tightening it, the doctor's face crimson with emotion as Rei struggled with the cord, choking and groaning.

Suddenly, Ritsuko released it, stumbling back, a familiar scene echoing in her head.

"I'm…I…I'm sorry! It was…just a joke…I…I'm sorry…I've been so busy…I've been…"

Akagi turned back to Rei, whose listless face seemed to have some odd unidentifiable emotion, her slender alabaster throat red

That same pretty albino face, the same face that had taunted her mother. Ritsuko turned away, feeling odd.

"Don't…Don't forget to watch your mouth, Rei. I'm the one that keeps your body alive."

Ritsuko Akagi quickly stepped out of the office, not waiting for Rei's soft voice to respond.

"Yes, ma'am."

Ritsuko Akagi shivered, her fists clenching and unclenching on the unsympathetic metal floor, mumbling to herself in a low, broken voice.

"She's still alive…alive in that machine…alive in that doll…alive in that bastard's heart…I'll show them all…I'll show them all…for you, mother…"

Suddenly a metal clang as the bars to her cell were opened wide.

She groaned and stood, facing the calm bespectacled face of a Section II Agent.

"The Commander requires your presence."

The doctor's face seemed to twist in a smirk and she nodded.

"He always needs me when he's down…"

But this time, I'll show him that hate is a cancer that spreads one cell at a time.

Tokyo 3, Japan

NERV Headquarters, NERV Infirmary

Asuka fidgeted in her chair beside Shinji's bed, not quite sure why she was still there.

The Second Child felt quite uncomfortable and odd, feeling the urge to remove herself before anyone noticed she had been in Shinji's room.

"Worried about Shinji?"

"Mr. Kaji."

"Sorry to disappoint you. No, I was just thinking about how now I'm going to have a bigger share of the action."

"No you weren't, Asuka. If you won't admit your feelings, how are you ever supposed to get a boyfriend?"

"Yes, I was! And I don't want any boyfriend besides you!"

"Woah! That's the spirit. Asuka…Everyone is worried about Shinji…I'm sure he's fighting to get back. Just like I want you to fight…in your own way. Later…Asuka."

"Mr. Kaji?"

Asuka sighed, shaking away the uncomfortable but familiar warm tears streaming down her face.

"Mr. Kaji…It's just like that again now…Idiot Shinji had to get himself hurt again…"

However her voice was strangely not filled with contempt, it seemed mournful and full of regret, something very uncharacteristic for Asuka Langley Sohryu.

She slowly stood, then looked back regretfully, feeling that she had to do something before she left.

Slowly bending down towards Shinji's face, she winced regretfully, and began whispering into the comatose boy's ear.

Shinji Ikari sighed, staring at the familiar window of the train car as it sped along to it's daily location of nothingness.

To his left was a familiar young boy with sad cerulean eyes.

Shinji held his hands in his head, overwhelmed but surprisingly calm. He no longer felt shivering bouts of misery and hate.

He felt nothing, just grayness and a great fatigue that was threatening to overwhelm him.

He spoke, his voice seeming distant and apathetic.

"I don't understand anymore…It makes no sense…"

The boy smiled grimly, speaking.

"You never did understand…You remember his words though, don't you?"

As if to remind Shinji, Kaworu Nagisa appeared directly in front of the Third Child, unhurt and fine, looking exactly like the day he had come to Tokyo 3.

"Kaworu!"

Shinji stepped forward to touch the pale angel's face, but his hand went through the shimmering apparition as it spoke.

"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream- a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought- a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!"

Shinji stumbled back at the angel's words and clenched his eyes tight, distraught.

After what seemed like hours, he opened them again, and found himself to be alone in the train car.

An echoing voice, whose source he could not place.

"You refused to understand…"

Then a familiar voice, jolting Shinji as he felt an odd warmth pervading through his body, making him uncomfortable as opposed to the nice cold grayness.

"Shinji…Shinji? I'm not sure you can hear me, although I hope you can't…This is only for my ears, you can't ever hear this…I think…I'm sorry Shinji Ikari…Sorry for everything, but this is how life is…You have to learn to be strong, to not cry, to not let others in your life, to stand for yourself. You have to fight your way out of this…For all of us…"

Shinji held his ears, shaking his head and screaming.

"No! No! I won't listen to you! You never could understand me! You never even tried! You're lying! All of you are lying! I've had enough! I'm comfortable here! Comfortable in this…"

Shinji did not end his sentence, unsure of how to end it, and at that point not really caring since he heard no actual response.

Sinking back onto his comfortable gray chair, he sighed and closed his eyes, descending back into nihility, his cold lips mumbling as he fell into nothingness.

"Nobody…ever…tried…to understand…"

Fly me to the moon,
And let me play among the stars.
Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.
In other words, hold my hand!
In other words, darling, kiss me.

Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing forever more.
You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.
In other words, please be true!
In other words, I love you!

Fly me to the moon,
And let me play among the stars.
Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.
In other words, hold my hand!
In other words, darling, kiss me.

Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing forever more.
You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.
In other words, please be true!
In other words, I love you!

Well, that was Chapter Six…I've finished Darkness (which you should all check out) and I'm continuing the unbelievably long Madness and the growing Shinji's Stronghold…This fanfic in comparison to my others is pretty short, inactive, and lame, but it still isn't too bad, I don't think…Anyway…see you later.