"Oh... my.... God..." Sirius threw his book bag down and fell on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room. "I never want to go back to classes again..."
"I hate 7th year." James pouted as he sat in the chair facing the small fire.
"Aw guys, I thought you couldn't wait to be the king." Remus smiled as he sat cross-legged infront of the couch that Sirius was laying on.
"I'd rather be prince, back in 1st year then king and in 7th. We already have loads of homework, and we've only been here one ruddy day." Sirius sighed as he started to play with Remus's hair absent-mindedly. Remus smiled and didn't move – he enjoyed it when Sirius paid any kind of attention to him.
"I think I failed the pop quiz..." Peter sighed as he stood and looked into the fire. "Why would she give a pop quiz on the first day of school? It's in-human."
"If you paid attention in last class last year – McGonagall said she was going to be giving us a quiz on the first day back in her class, Peter." Remus was reading his Transfiguration book he spoke without looking up.
"Who pays attention on the last day of school?"
"Remus does." Sirius grabbed Remus under his armpits and hoisted him onto the couch. "I need a pillow."
Remus let out a squeak as he was lifted onto the couch and laughed as Sirius laid his head on his lap. Remus looked down and smiled. "Why didn't you use the one under your feet?"
Sirius lifted his head and looked at the pillow. "It's to far away." He sighed as he laid his head back down again.
"You should both just be a couple already." James laughed.
"Couple? They're a couple?" Peter's eyes went wide as he looked at Remus and Sirius. Remus looked down at his book again trying to hide his pink cheeks.
"No Peter... I was just... Oh forget it." James shook his head. "But seriously – you should just date and get it over with."
"What's wrong with using your best friend as a pillow...?" Sirius looked up at Remus and smiled. "He isn't objecting."
"Only because you would practice your wrath upon me if I did, Siri." Remus laughed as he looked down at Sirius holding his book over his head.
"Too true..." Sirius loved it when Remus used the nickname that he had given him. Whenever he called him 'Siri', his expression always softened and his voice was gentle.
"Awww... look at the happy couple!" Lily smiled as she sat down on James's lap.
"What's with all this couple talk now?" Sirius sat up and crossed his legs running a hand through his silky black hair.
"Well who else hangs all over Remus and lays on his lap?" Lily smiled sweetly as James wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head on her breasts. She moved her arms and put them around his neck. "Just date! It would be so adorable."
Remus and Sirius looked at eachother. They were both blushing. Remus's heart was pounding as he stared into Sirius's eyes. A small smile crept up on his lips as he looked away.
"Remus..."
He looked back over at Sirius and smiled. "Yesm?"
The room was quiet as Sirius spoke. "Will you date me?"
"Wh-" Remus started to breath faster as he looked at Sirius searching for any sign that he was joking. "What...?" Tears that were slowly welling in his eyes choked Remus's already quiet voice.
Sirius leaned over and placed his lips gently on Remus's. Remus froze at the touch, and his eyes were still wide open. Remus had stopped breathing when Sirius ended the kiss. Everyone who was in the room had looks of shock on their faces, and their eyes were all wide. They had all stopped what they were doing when the two boys kissed.
Sirius leaned over kissed Remus again. Since he hadn't been breathing he stole a breath from Sirius. Sirius stopped kissing him and smiled against his lips. He slowly started to force Remus on his back as he climbed on top of him smiling softly.
Remus woke with a start, gasping for air. Remus put his hand to his bare chest and felt his heart beating madly beneath his flesh. Remus gulped for air as he looked over at Sirius. 'It was just a dream... Oh god...' Remus lay down in his bed again and whipped off his covers. The moonlight fell across his abdomen as he lay there causing his lean body to look even paler and his scars to stand out.
"Remy?" Sirius woke up when he felt the air from the blankets. "You okay?"
Remus looked over and smiled. "Yeah..."
"Oh... okay... Night then..." Sirius yawned and rolled over.
"Night Siri..." Remus rolled over to face the moon, which was nearly full. Remus sighed heavily as he shut his eyes. 'I don't ever want tomorrow to come...' A silent tear fell down his cheek.
Sirius woke as the sun fell over his face. He smiled in the early morning and stretched in his bed before rolling over on his side facing Remus. Remus was sleeping very curled up close to his pillow facing him. He smiled as he watched his friend sleep. He watched his chest rise and fall slowly.
It was at this moment that Sirius noticed how many scars Remus had on his body. He sat up and walked slowly towards his friend. He knelt down beside his bed and looked all over Remus's chest and arms. He had a million tiny scars freckling his body. Sirius reached out and touched the longest one on his side. He lightly ran a finger along the length of it. The scar was jagged, and it looked as if it was a bite mark of some kind.
Remus woke with a start to see Sirius leaning at his side touching him. Remus rubbed his eyes with his fists, rolled slightly, rested his arm on his waist, and smiled as he looked at Sirius. "What are you doing?"
"I was looking at your scars... I never have before. It doesn't bug you does it?"
Remus's eyes closed slightly as he smiled. "No."
Sirius smiled and stood up. "I won't do it again though, I was just... err... really interested in them for a minute – I don't know why."
Remus stopped smiling and looked up. Sirius's hair had fallen over his eyes as he looked down. "No one ever touches me... I don't want you to become one of those people, Siri."
Sirius smiled and sat down beside him. Remus sat up and hugged his knees. "I won't." He placed a gentle hand on Remus's knee. "I promise." Remus smiled and a tear ran down his cheek. He hurriedly wiped it away.
"What's wrong, Remy? Why are you crying? It wasn't me was it?" Sirius leaned in closer; his face was full of worry.
Remus laughed quietly. "No... It wasn't. You never make me sad. It's just... I hate being me..." His eyes filled with tears again as he placed his head on his knees trying to hide his tears.
"Remy..." Sirius came forward and wrapped his arms around his shaking friend he was quiet for a while before he spoke. "Please don't cry Remy..." Sirius held Remus away from him and smiled. "I don't hate who you are, Remy. I ..." He stopped himself before continuing. "You're my best friend; you're a wonderful person. Being a werewolf doesn't change any of that. It doesn't change our friendship. I'll be here for you all the time, you know that."
Remus smiled and nodded. "Thanks... This is so stupid. I shouldn't cry..."
"Well if you didn't cry, you wouldn't be Remus."
Remus smacked his arm and laughed. "Shut-up."
"Hey, I was only saying the truth mate."
"Yeah... I know – that's why I want you to shut-up."
The boys laughed and Sirius promptly jumped onto James's bed to wake him up. "Get up Miss. Potter! It's time for the first day of school! Get up, get up, get up!"
"Mmmf.... Go away...."
"Never! Wake up! You too Peter!" Sirius laughed as he pulled the pillow out from underneath James. His head hit the mattress with a dull thud.
"Give me my pillow back!"
"Hmmm... No!" Sirius held it over his head and Remus grabbed it throwing it back at James. "Hey... no fair – he intercepted."
"Just get up James. Next time I'm not giving back the pillow. For all I care – Sirius can hit you until you wake up." Remus smiled as he walked towards his trunk and found his freshly washed uniform.
"Yeah, Yeah..." James sat up and stretched. He then lay down again and smacked Peter's stomach. "Get up."
Peter sat up straight. "Yep... I'm up... I'm up..." His eyes were still half closed as he swung his legs over the side of his bed rubbing his face.
The boys all got ready quickly grabbed their book bags and headed to the great hall for lunch. Lily caught up to them just as they were closing the portrait door.
"Nice of you to wait for me."
"Ahh... Sorry Lily, I was momentarily guided by my hunger than by my drive to wait for you...?" James winced as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Yeah, Yeah. I should know by now that hunger is more powerful than love, shouldn't I?" She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Morning."
"Morning!" He kissed her back and slipped his hand into hers.
Breakfast was composed of many different things. Sirius chose the French toast and bacon with orange juice, Peter chose bacon, eggs, toast, and pumpkin juice, James took the same that Sirius did, and Remus the cereal, and orange juice.
"Why aren't you eating a lot?"
"Oh, just not really hungry today." Remus smiled at Peter and took a mouthful of cereal into his mouth.
Sirius sat eating his French toast and watched Remus. He loved the way his jaw moved, it was always so graceful even when he spoke. He watched him lightly run his fingers through his hair moving it away from his forehead. Remus's skin was flawless and soft. Sirius looked at his eyelashes – they were the same color as his hair and it looked as if they were barely there at all. Remus looked up to reveal his amber eyes. They were a base color of honey, with small flecks of gold and white throughout them. There was also a dark honey color surrounding his pupil and outside of the iris. That only worked to make his eyes even more stunning. A small smile spread across his full lips to reveal his straight, white teeth as he spoke.
"What?"
"What? Oh... Nothing." Sirius blushed as he looked down at his plate.
Remus smiled as Sirius's long dark hair fell over his eyes. Sirius's cheekbones seemed to be perfectly chiseled to match his face. Remus had memorized every curve, dip, and bump in Sirius's body. His skin was a light olive color and it was completely unblemished. He spent some of his nights watching his friend sleep peacefully. In 7 years, Remus knew what almost every part of Sirius's body looked like by memory. His eyes were a deep sapphire, with speckles of white throughout them. Though instead of having a dark rim around his pupil and the edge of his iris – it was a light blue. Remus had been in love with Sirius since 3rd year. Remus looked down at his bowl of cereal just as Sirius lifted his head.
"What do we have first?"
"McGonagall passed me these this morning when I saw her, here..." Remus passed out four timetables to his friends. "We have Potions, Herbology, double Divination, Defense Against The Dark Arts, and Transfiguration."
"Oh whoopee... Mondays are a good day then..." James rolled his eyes as he took the paper and looked it over. "Why do we have to have double Divination today? Can't it wait till Friday?"
"Nope..." Peter sighed as he put down his timetable. "It's designed like that to make us hate school. Its all a big conspiracy against us."
The boys all laughed. "No kidding... Why can't we just get our NEWT's in one day and all become fully-fledged wizards?
"Because Siri, then the teachers lives wouldn't be fulfilling." Remus smiled.
"How so?"
"Well, they wouldn't get to watch you struggle when you try to answer a question to which the answer you have no idea."
"Now, now. I do know the answer to some things..."
"Do you really?"
"....No."
Remus laughed. "What would you do without me?"
"Well... fail school because I wouldn't have any homework help, and become someone who goes to Azkaban for killing muggles?"
"That's not funny, Sirius." Peter looked over at him frowning. "Don't joke about Azkaban."
"Yeah... it's not cool, Sirius." James spoke without looking up.
"Ah come on guys, I was just kidding..." Sirius propped his elbows on the table and looked at his friends. His eyes finally stopped on a smiling werewolf. Remus's smile always calmed him and made all his worries flutter away. He looked up as the bell rang. "Time for class..."
"Yeah..." James picked up his bag and headed in the direction of the door. "Come on, we don't want to be late..." Everyone nodded and followed him to the door.
Sirius walked up beside James and only spoke when they were far enough ahead of his other friends and they were out of earshot. "James?"
He turned and looked at Sirius. "Yeah?"
"Do you ever worry about Remus...? When he transforms?"
"... All the time." James dropped his head and looked at the ground as they walked.
"Why?"
"I always worry that he'll die or... that he'll kill one of us."
"Yeah... me too..."
"...Why did you ask?"
Sirius was quiet and only spoke when they were almost at the Potions class. "Because I thought I was the only one who was... scared shitless of... of loosing him." Sirius was staring at the ground with a blank expression on his face.
James put a friendly hand to his shoulder but didn't speak. Remus came up behind them and stood with a large smile on his face. He looked at his friends' faces and his smile soon faded.
"What's wrong...?"
Sirius looked up and smiled. "Nothing."
"Yeah, its nothing." James spoke as he took his hand off his friends shoulder.
"You're sure?" Remus tilted his head towards them and furrowed his eyebrows. Sirius and James nodded quickly and smiled. "Okay... let's get in there and get our table then."
"Yeah, sounds like a plan." Sirius smiled as Remus and Peter passed by them. James and Sirius looked at eachother one last time before heading into the classroom.
"I hate 7th year." James pouted as he sat in the chair facing the small fire.
"Aw guys, I thought you couldn't wait to be the king." Remus smiled as he sat cross-legged infront of the couch that Sirius was laying on.
"I'd rather be prince, back in 1st year then king and in 7th. We already have loads of homework, and we've only been here one ruddy day." Sirius sighed as he started to play with Remus's hair absent-mindedly. Remus smiled and didn't move – he enjoyed it when Sirius paid any kind of attention to him.
"I think I failed the pop quiz..." Peter sighed as he stood and looked into the fire. "Why would she give a pop quiz on the first day of school? It's in-human."
"If you paid attention in last class last year – McGonagall said she was going to be giving us a quiz on the first day back in her class, Peter." Remus was reading his Transfiguration book he spoke without looking up.
"Who pays attention on the last day of school?"
"Remus does." Sirius grabbed Remus under his armpits and hoisted him onto the couch. "I need a pillow."
Remus let out a squeak as he was lifted onto the couch and laughed as Sirius laid his head on his lap. Remus looked down and smiled. "Why didn't you use the one under your feet?"
Sirius lifted his head and looked at the pillow. "It's to far away." He sighed as he laid his head back down again.
"You should both just be a couple already." James laughed.
"Couple? They're a couple?" Peter's eyes went wide as he looked at Remus and Sirius. Remus looked down at his book again trying to hide his pink cheeks.
"No Peter... I was just... Oh forget it." James shook his head. "But seriously – you should just date and get it over with."
"What's wrong with using your best friend as a pillow...?" Sirius looked up at Remus and smiled. "He isn't objecting."
"Only because you would practice your wrath upon me if I did, Siri." Remus laughed as he looked down at Sirius holding his book over his head.
"Too true..." Sirius loved it when Remus used the nickname that he had given him. Whenever he called him 'Siri', his expression always softened and his voice was gentle.
"Awww... look at the happy couple!" Lily smiled as she sat down on James's lap.
"What's with all this couple talk now?" Sirius sat up and crossed his legs running a hand through his silky black hair.
"Well who else hangs all over Remus and lays on his lap?" Lily smiled sweetly as James wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head on her breasts. She moved her arms and put them around his neck. "Just date! It would be so adorable."
Remus and Sirius looked at eachother. They were both blushing. Remus's heart was pounding as he stared into Sirius's eyes. A small smile crept up on his lips as he looked away.
"Remus..."
He looked back over at Sirius and smiled. "Yesm?"
The room was quiet as Sirius spoke. "Will you date me?"
"Wh-" Remus started to breath faster as he looked at Sirius searching for any sign that he was joking. "What...?" Tears that were slowly welling in his eyes choked Remus's already quiet voice.
Sirius leaned over and placed his lips gently on Remus's. Remus froze at the touch, and his eyes were still wide open. Remus had stopped breathing when Sirius ended the kiss. Everyone who was in the room had looks of shock on their faces, and their eyes were all wide. They had all stopped what they were doing when the two boys kissed.
Sirius leaned over kissed Remus again. Since he hadn't been breathing he stole a breath from Sirius. Sirius stopped kissing him and smiled against his lips. He slowly started to force Remus on his back as he climbed on top of him smiling softly.
Remus woke with a start, gasping for air. Remus put his hand to his bare chest and felt his heart beating madly beneath his flesh. Remus gulped for air as he looked over at Sirius. 'It was just a dream... Oh god...' Remus lay down in his bed again and whipped off his covers. The moonlight fell across his abdomen as he lay there causing his lean body to look even paler and his scars to stand out.
"Remy?" Sirius woke up when he felt the air from the blankets. "You okay?"
Remus looked over and smiled. "Yeah..."
"Oh... okay... Night then..." Sirius yawned and rolled over.
"Night Siri..." Remus rolled over to face the moon, which was nearly full. Remus sighed heavily as he shut his eyes. 'I don't ever want tomorrow to come...' A silent tear fell down his cheek.
Sirius woke as the sun fell over his face. He smiled in the early morning and stretched in his bed before rolling over on his side facing Remus. Remus was sleeping very curled up close to his pillow facing him. He smiled as he watched his friend sleep. He watched his chest rise and fall slowly.
It was at this moment that Sirius noticed how many scars Remus had on his body. He sat up and walked slowly towards his friend. He knelt down beside his bed and looked all over Remus's chest and arms. He had a million tiny scars freckling his body. Sirius reached out and touched the longest one on his side. He lightly ran a finger along the length of it. The scar was jagged, and it looked as if it was a bite mark of some kind.
Remus woke with a start to see Sirius leaning at his side touching him. Remus rubbed his eyes with his fists, rolled slightly, rested his arm on his waist, and smiled as he looked at Sirius. "What are you doing?"
"I was looking at your scars... I never have before. It doesn't bug you does it?"
Remus's eyes closed slightly as he smiled. "No."
Sirius smiled and stood up. "I won't do it again though, I was just... err... really interested in them for a minute – I don't know why."
Remus stopped smiling and looked up. Sirius's hair had fallen over his eyes as he looked down. "No one ever touches me... I don't want you to become one of those people, Siri."
Sirius smiled and sat down beside him. Remus sat up and hugged his knees. "I won't." He placed a gentle hand on Remus's knee. "I promise." Remus smiled and a tear ran down his cheek. He hurriedly wiped it away.
"What's wrong, Remy? Why are you crying? It wasn't me was it?" Sirius leaned in closer; his face was full of worry.
Remus laughed quietly. "No... It wasn't. You never make me sad. It's just... I hate being me..." His eyes filled with tears again as he placed his head on his knees trying to hide his tears.
"Remy..." Sirius came forward and wrapped his arms around his shaking friend he was quiet for a while before he spoke. "Please don't cry Remy..." Sirius held Remus away from him and smiled. "I don't hate who you are, Remy. I ..." He stopped himself before continuing. "You're my best friend; you're a wonderful person. Being a werewolf doesn't change any of that. It doesn't change our friendship. I'll be here for you all the time, you know that."
Remus smiled and nodded. "Thanks... This is so stupid. I shouldn't cry..."
"Well if you didn't cry, you wouldn't be Remus."
Remus smacked his arm and laughed. "Shut-up."
"Hey, I was only saying the truth mate."
"Yeah... I know – that's why I want you to shut-up."
The boys laughed and Sirius promptly jumped onto James's bed to wake him up. "Get up Miss. Potter! It's time for the first day of school! Get up, get up, get up!"
"Mmmf.... Go away...."
"Never! Wake up! You too Peter!" Sirius laughed as he pulled the pillow out from underneath James. His head hit the mattress with a dull thud.
"Give me my pillow back!"
"Hmmm... No!" Sirius held it over his head and Remus grabbed it throwing it back at James. "Hey... no fair – he intercepted."
"Just get up James. Next time I'm not giving back the pillow. For all I care – Sirius can hit you until you wake up." Remus smiled as he walked towards his trunk and found his freshly washed uniform.
"Yeah, Yeah..." James sat up and stretched. He then lay down again and smacked Peter's stomach. "Get up."
Peter sat up straight. "Yep... I'm up... I'm up..." His eyes were still half closed as he swung his legs over the side of his bed rubbing his face.
The boys all got ready quickly grabbed their book bags and headed to the great hall for lunch. Lily caught up to them just as they were closing the portrait door.
"Nice of you to wait for me."
"Ahh... Sorry Lily, I was momentarily guided by my hunger than by my drive to wait for you...?" James winced as she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Yeah, Yeah. I should know by now that hunger is more powerful than love, shouldn't I?" She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Morning."
"Morning!" He kissed her back and slipped his hand into hers.
Breakfast was composed of many different things. Sirius chose the French toast and bacon with orange juice, Peter chose bacon, eggs, toast, and pumpkin juice, James took the same that Sirius did, and Remus the cereal, and orange juice.
"Why aren't you eating a lot?"
"Oh, just not really hungry today." Remus smiled at Peter and took a mouthful of cereal into his mouth.
Sirius sat eating his French toast and watched Remus. He loved the way his jaw moved, it was always so graceful even when he spoke. He watched him lightly run his fingers through his hair moving it away from his forehead. Remus's skin was flawless and soft. Sirius looked at his eyelashes – they were the same color as his hair and it looked as if they were barely there at all. Remus looked up to reveal his amber eyes. They were a base color of honey, with small flecks of gold and white throughout them. There was also a dark honey color surrounding his pupil and outside of the iris. That only worked to make his eyes even more stunning. A small smile spread across his full lips to reveal his straight, white teeth as he spoke.
"What?"
"What? Oh... Nothing." Sirius blushed as he looked down at his plate.
Remus smiled as Sirius's long dark hair fell over his eyes. Sirius's cheekbones seemed to be perfectly chiseled to match his face. Remus had memorized every curve, dip, and bump in Sirius's body. His skin was a light olive color and it was completely unblemished. He spent some of his nights watching his friend sleep peacefully. In 7 years, Remus knew what almost every part of Sirius's body looked like by memory. His eyes were a deep sapphire, with speckles of white throughout them. Though instead of having a dark rim around his pupil and the edge of his iris – it was a light blue. Remus had been in love with Sirius since 3rd year. Remus looked down at his bowl of cereal just as Sirius lifted his head.
"What do we have first?"
"McGonagall passed me these this morning when I saw her, here..." Remus passed out four timetables to his friends. "We have Potions, Herbology, double Divination, Defense Against The Dark Arts, and Transfiguration."
"Oh whoopee... Mondays are a good day then..." James rolled his eyes as he took the paper and looked it over. "Why do we have to have double Divination today? Can't it wait till Friday?"
"Nope..." Peter sighed as he put down his timetable. "It's designed like that to make us hate school. Its all a big conspiracy against us."
The boys all laughed. "No kidding... Why can't we just get our NEWT's in one day and all become fully-fledged wizards?
"Because Siri, then the teachers lives wouldn't be fulfilling." Remus smiled.
"How so?"
"Well, they wouldn't get to watch you struggle when you try to answer a question to which the answer you have no idea."
"Now, now. I do know the answer to some things..."
"Do you really?"
"....No."
Remus laughed. "What would you do without me?"
"Well... fail school because I wouldn't have any homework help, and become someone who goes to Azkaban for killing muggles?"
"That's not funny, Sirius." Peter looked over at him frowning. "Don't joke about Azkaban."
"Yeah... it's not cool, Sirius." James spoke without looking up.
"Ah come on guys, I was just kidding..." Sirius propped his elbows on the table and looked at his friends. His eyes finally stopped on a smiling werewolf. Remus's smile always calmed him and made all his worries flutter away. He looked up as the bell rang. "Time for class..."
"Yeah..." James picked up his bag and headed in the direction of the door. "Come on, we don't want to be late..." Everyone nodded and followed him to the door.
Sirius walked up beside James and only spoke when they were far enough ahead of his other friends and they were out of earshot. "James?"
He turned and looked at Sirius. "Yeah?"
"Do you ever worry about Remus...? When he transforms?"
"... All the time." James dropped his head and looked at the ground as they walked.
"Why?"
"I always worry that he'll die or... that he'll kill one of us."
"Yeah... me too..."
"...Why did you ask?"
Sirius was quiet and only spoke when they were almost at the Potions class. "Because I thought I was the only one who was... scared shitless of... of loosing him." Sirius was staring at the ground with a blank expression on his face.
James put a friendly hand to his shoulder but didn't speak. Remus came up behind them and stood with a large smile on his face. He looked at his friends' faces and his smile soon faded.
"What's wrong...?"
Sirius looked up and smiled. "Nothing."
"Yeah, its nothing." James spoke as he took his hand off his friends shoulder.
"You're sure?" Remus tilted his head towards them and furrowed his eyebrows. Sirius and James nodded quickly and smiled. "Okay... let's get in there and get our table then."
"Yeah, sounds like a plan." Sirius smiled as Remus and Peter passed by them. James and Sirius looked at eachother one last time before heading into the classroom.