Life Matters – Chapter 7
"Angel, keeping the girl caged in your apartment like an animal isn't resolving anything," Cordy complained, glaring at Angel who was pacing the office with a frown on his brooding face. Angel paused and folded his arms leaning against the wall, turning to Cordy.
"What do you propose we should do? She is overconfident and sometimes even overconfidence can lead people in traps that they could have foreseen if they used a little logic before diving into the fight," Angel exclaimed, as he grabbed a mug of blood from the beeping microwave.
"I'd say you knock it off and quit being such a coward and bring her here now," Cordy suggested, tapping her nails on Angel's office desk, feeling annoyed.
"Cordy, this girl isn't right. She has some odd power. I sense she has more to her than what meets the eye. Secrets that she tends to keep to herself. I don't trust her," Angel explained after taking a quick sip out of his mug.
"You have a hard time trusting just about anybody," Cordy spat back.
"Speakin' o' trusting…" Doyle cut in, rolling his eyes as he snuck into the doorway. Cordy was always trying to make everyone side with her and he was always the one to fall quickly to her feet like a dog to its master. He wished he could smile and possibly go back to the way things used to be, but Cordy ruined it. She ruined it by bringing him back from a place that nurtured his very soul.
"What is that supposed to mean, Doyle? You're not going to throw the guilt trip on me again, are you?"
"Now why would ye say 'hat, Cordy?" Doyle's words were cold and his eyes narrowed directly into Cordy's brown eyes, studying her carefully.
"Because all you've been doing is trying to avoid me. I know when I brought you back it was because I wanted you here. I wasn't thinking of you or how you would feel," Cordy replied, trying not to raise her voice.
Doyle definitely changed his tone and didn't call her princess anymore and he had every right to be angry for awhile, but it wasn't her fault, she didn't know at the time. She couldn't tell him the truth. She couldn't tell him that she brought Willow to L.A. to raise him by using dark magic, which in turn brought him back to his old life, sucking the visions out of her. She didn't know there was a catch. Didn't know that the power was going to knock her out and send her visions back to him.
"Look I know I haven't been fair ta ye, but you brought me back with no warnin'and with ta visions! How do ye expect me ta act?" Doyle huffed, tilting his head in her direction and waiting for a response.
"Sorry if I may cut in, but Cordy…" Angel replied gently, looking at her with knowing eyes. Cordy shook her head and frowned.
"No, Angel. Don't say it. It's hard enough as it is to live with the burden," Cordy muttered, closing her eyes, feeling frustrated. Doyle looked from Angel to Cordy and back again with interest.
"Angel, man, if ye know somethin' I don't know then tell me. It's me life we're talkin' 'bout here. I at least want ta know 'hat someone is tellin' me the truth," Doyle urged, as his whitened knuckles clasped the edge of the work desk.
Angel sighed and put a hand over his face in frustration. Didn't matter which way he went, he could never win. His loyalty to both friends was now being tested. Cordelia lifted an eyebrow in protest, but Angel ignored the warning. Doyle was right and maybe the air would be clear if the truth was told.
"Look, Doyle, I don't know how to say this so I'll say it quickly," Angel responded, rolling his shoulders back uncomfortably. "You were brought back from the dead by dark forces…dark magic. Cordelia's friend Willow brought you back and the spell took an odd turn knocking Cordy unconscious and stealing the visions away from her to be thrown back into you," Angel noted, placing a supportive hand on Doyle's shoulder. Doyle shook it off and frowned. Feeling shaken and lost, he sat down and stared at the two people who he thought were his friends.
"Why? Why me? Above all why black magic?" Doyle exclaimed, feeling shocked and hurt, his eyes trailing off staring into nothingness.
"Because I wanted you back and because the Oracles wouldn't help and I know it was the only way I could be with you. I wasn't thinking about the consequences. When the spell was over I didn't remember much, but what Willow told me. The only way to have brought you back was to give you back the visions that have caused you pain and suffereing. A life for a life and the unbearable pain…I didn't understand it then, but I understand it now. The visions made you who you are today and helped you save many people. I couldn't stop the spell or reverse the painful consequences. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner," Cordy said with a sigh. Her eyes glancing down at him, with hope that he will forgive her. Doyle looked up at Angel. Angel winced at Doyle's saddened look and felt guilty.
"She swore me to secrecy not to say anything, but I can't stand seeing you two not getting along," Angel said quietly. Doyle was silent, but nodded solemnly.
"Doyle?" Cordy put a hand on Doyle's shoulder. "I know I can't change the past few months or so, but I want you to know that I would have never intentionally hurt you," Cordy whispered, tears filling her eyes. Doyle nodded, rubbing the tears from her eyes with his handkerchief.
"It's not goin' ta be the same between you and me anymore, darlin'," Doyle choked out, feeling overwhelmed.
"I know….I'm sorry. Are we still friends?" Cordy asked, hopefully.
"Always were and will always be," Doyle replied, softly, slightly smiling. She returned the smile and hugged him tightly, breathing in and out to slowly get rid of her tears. Angel stood outside his office and sighed with relief as he watched his two friends make up.
"Good job, Sparky. Always knew you had it in you," Kate cut in, breaking the silence. Angel turned to her and smiled, putting his arm around her.
"You're right. We make a good team, Detective Lockley," Angel mused, smiling at Kate. He didn't know how, but Kate brought out that hidden smile in him. It was a miracle on how Kate accepted him and believed in his good nature over the creature. Angel turned from his office window where Doyle and Cordy were talking to look down at Kate. Memories of Kate flooded his mind and mingled together. He could remember when he first met her at a nightclub while he was trying to figure out who or what was killing the customers. Sadness swept through him when he saw her sitting at her desk, longing for her father's love. Shock stabbed at him when he revealed his demon side to Kate by accident. But the most powerful memory of all was when he rescued her after she drowned herself in alcohol with the frustrations and sorrows of her life that included being kicked off the police force and finding her father killed by vampires...
"You made me believe..." Kate groaned over the phone. He made her see the reality of life and the demons that caused pain beyond humanity. Angel could feel her plea for help as he rushed over to her apartment, begging her to let him in as soon as possible. After a long pause he forced the door open and entered her apartment, finding her on the ground. He took her under the shower fully clothed, rushing her with cool water to wake her up out of her intoxicated state. For the first time in two hundred years he felt scared. Scared that he wouldn't be able to save her and guilty that it would be another life upon his conscience if she died in his arms. Kate and Angel looked upon each other later that day with more respect and mutual understanding for one another that gradually helped rebuild their rocky relationship.
At that time it was only a friendship, but it eventually became a casual dating relationship. Occasionally Kate would have Angel go out with her to enjoy life outside of the batcave. Angel began to actually like life outside of fighting evil and lately wondered if he was imagining the events playing out before him. It was true that they were both lonely with no family, but Angel was skeptical and wondered why Kate stayed close to him even after they made up.
"Why do you love me when I am the very thing you should hate?" Angel inquired after bringing his mind back to the present, turning to face her straight on. Kate shrugged her shoulders and then sat behind Cordy's desk.
"Because you're different and you struggle, but it's through that struggle that I see the man in you. The man that fights for what is right and will stop at nothing to save the people of the city and to recover from his mistakes. You even admit you made mistakes, which is more than I can say about anyone that I have ever known. So yeah…I love you because you're special and you try to embrace light even though you know it's going to eat you up alive," Kate concluded with a sigh, looking up at him with a smile. Angel nodded, looking back at Cordy and Doyle talking in his office.
"You're brooding again. What's up? What is on your mind?" Kate whispered, waving her hand in front of his face.
"I'm always brooding, Kate," Angel pointed out as he leaned heavily against Cordy's desk.
"Yes, I know that it's in your nature, Knight in shining armor, but you look more like you want to crack something open," Kate squeezed his hand, letting his hand slip back. Angel picked up a pen and pad of paper and began to sketch instead of answering Kate. Doyle and Cordy filed out of the room, although Doyle still appeared to be in a state of shock, he looked better than he was earlier.
"What's going on?" Cordy looked at Kate and then watched Angel draw. Kate shrugged and put her hands in the air.
"Beats me. He just started to draw," Kate answered, looking curiously over at Angel's paper that started to look like Natalie. Cordy's face dropped and she shook her head hysterically. "No…not again! He's growing yet another obsession and this isn't even a vampire or a slayer!" Cordy shouted.
"I'm not obsessed! I'm just suspicious about her habits and behavior. Have any of you wondered what she is?" Angel asked, sketching out Natalie's eyes below the irises.
"She's a human. Why are we worried 'bout an innocent that we are tryin' ta protect?" Doyle rubbed his neck thoughtfully. It was one thing to worry 'bout the demon or whatever Dooku was, but it was quite another ta suspect the innocent is guilty too, Doyle thought.
"Can't you guys see that she is trouble? She has this power or mind control that makes you do the things she asks," Angel blurted out, as he examined his finished product of Natalie with her tight spandex black warrior outfit that scooped down leaving her stomach bare and a belt set around her hips that was meant to carry weapons with and a brown robe over it.
"Angel, man, the girl doesn't have any demon blood in her. She's clean. I think you're mistaken," Doyle said with confidence.
"Well what about these?" Angel pulled out a laser gun and the silver handle light saber. "Why would she keep these hidden in her brown robe if she was innocent?" Angel held the weapons out for Kate, Doyle and Cordelia to see.
"She needs to feel protected in case that scum bag shows up again," Cordelia simply answered. Angel sighed.
"Look you guys can believe what you want, but I think we need the rest of the gang out here to decide as a majority. Who's with me?" Angel glanced around the main office. His three friends looked uncomfortable and unsure of Angel's decision, but just nodded.
"It's agreed then that we should find more about Natalie with the rest of the group and until then I think we should keep an eye on her. For all we know whatever is controlling and blocking Doyle's visions from the Powers might be Natalie," Angel concluded as they started to call up the others.