Fallen #35
L.J. and I had a good chat about the fact that he should not blame himself for what had happened to me I explained to him that chances are it would have happened whether he was there or not. He told me that after I stormed out Lincoln, Michael, and Sucre nearly got into it. Linc and Michael were pissed that Sucre hadn't told them sooner.
Luckily, C-Note and Westmoreland were there to be the voices of reason. Apparently, Westmoreland explained that Sucre was just keeping his promise to me, while C-Note reprimanded Sucre for giving me the "You tell them or I will" ultimatum stating that it was my choice when to tell them or if I even would. L.J. and I both decided that we had had enough drama for one day and decided to hit the hay. He helped my wrap my ribs before heading to his room. Soon we were both out cold.
I woke the next morning and literally had to roll out of bed. I was so sore and stiff; it was way worse than I had expected, but then again it wasn't going to heal overnight! Slowly, I rose to my feet and gently stretched my side. My bandage had halfway fallen off in my sleep, so I decided to not wear it for a while. Plus, I needed to ice it more anyway. I quickly brushed my hair, carelessly threw it up into a pony tail, grabbed my housecoat and headed for the kitchen.
I had gone to bed before everyone else, well except for L.J., so I figured that they would all be sleeping since it was only 9a.m. and L.J. would sleep all day if you let him. I've never been much of a coffee drinker, so I headed straight for the fridge to grab a Gatorade and headed for the dining room. Completely unaware of the half full coffee pot sitting on the warmer. I froze as I rounded the corner and spotted Lincoln sitting at the end of the table, hands clasped together in his lap, a cup of coffee, a small towel, an ice pack, and an ace bandage sitting before him on the table. I watched him stare off into space for a moment before clearing my throat. His eyes snapped to me and he quickly stood. "Hey" he said timidly, not knowing how I would respond. "Hey" I replied sheepishly, embarrassed about my outburst the night before. We stood for a moment just looking at each other before he pulled the chair next to his out and motioned for me to sit. "Thanks" I said taking the seat "You're welcome" he replied politely. "How's your side?" He asked staring at me. I sighed "It hurts…like hell actually…L.J. thinks that it's his fault you know." I said finally making eye contact. "We all think that it was our fault…If you hadn't gotten involved it would never have happened." He said.
"If I hadn't gotten involved something much worse would have happened." I explained. "What's worse than what T-bag did to you?" He asked incredulously. I paused, looking at my hands "Losing you." I answered honestly, making eye contact again. "No one twisted my arm to get me involved, Lincoln. If I could change anything that has happened since I got back, I wouldn't…. I came back because my heart is here, with my family… I didn't move to L.A., Linc. I ran away! I lost you, I lost Veronica, I lost Michael, and instead of staying and fighting to get those things back I ran… When I came back it was the first time in my life that I've ran toward something instead of away from it!" I said straining to keep my tears from falling. It felt good to be completely honest about something… I hadn't done that in a while.
Lincoln left his chair and knelt down in front of me, placing a hand on each side of my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. "You have Veronica, Michael and I back now, Cal! Thanks to you I'm alive and my son is alive…You don't have to run anymore! Soon we'll be out of the country and we'll all start over, wipe the slate clean. None of this will matter anymore!" I nodded and grabbed his hands "I'm sorry that I didn't go to you after the thing with T-Bag…It's just… I was ashamed." I finished in a small voice as me motioned for me to stand and began wrapping my ribs once more. "It wasn't your fault, Cali. You shouldn't feel ashamed." He said pinning the towel. "I wasn't ashamed of what he did… I was ashamed of what I couldn't do. I've never felt so helpless in my life!" I said holding the ice pack in place. "So you made sure he'd never make anyone feel like that again?" He asked. "You mean Brandon?" He nodded "He was coming for Bagwell long before he tried to rape me." I informed him. "What?" He asked confused as he finished with the ace bandage. "It's a long story. I'll explain when everyone else is here. I don't want to have to tell the story a million times, y'know?" I asked as he stood and nodded. "Well, we're here!" A voice from behind me said. I turned around and there they were. Every last one of them.