Small Reno part, just a couple of paragraps. Feeling like writing angst, and its even almost a little to angsty for our usually cocky red head. Sorry about it. Not betaed, so excuse any errors you may find.
I worry about dependancy. My own dependancies. On Shin-Ra, on alcohol, and this entire damned planet. If I turn my back on them, there's nothing left. Its all sensible, Shin-Ra is not the obvious choice for a comfotable and content life, in fact, my life has only sunk further since I became a Turk. But at this rate, quitting will only send me down faster, and right on to a slums street corner. That's not what I need right now.
I got a letter yesterday from my sister in Kalm, and it kind of reminded me how seperated I've been from everything I've grown up with. Going back to them back home though is just not a option, I have enough sense to know I wouldn't do anything but cause them trouble, and I don't want that for them. So I guess it's just the straight and long road from here 'til whenever the hell I die, which shouldn't be long from now.
After work I always go to the bar, especially if its been in a long day or after a mission. Its another habit I should break, but I don't have the heart or the time to. The alcohol is soothing in a way, blurring my mind and helping me forget the painful reality, ya know? Rude never asks me to stop, which I'm thankful for. I don't want him getting involved, close comerade or not. This is my problem, and I most likely will be unable to solve it, so I just give up with myself. Give my own soul to rot. I really don't care anymore.
Let my job and my alcohol consume my life. I need nothing else for the moment.