Step 6: - Joke.

What does every guy think they are? A comedian so humour them laugh at their jokes it may just pay off. Although we all know that sarcasm is infinitely better than "this guy walks into a bar…" jokes but guys don't get it so tell some jokes and you might just like the punch line.

They honestly think that telling jokes would make a guy fall in love with you! Well I guess I could humour them…

I awoke in my room at – judging by the glaring light shining through my curtains – around ten o'clock. I scolded myself; this would mean that my family would have used all the hot water. Blinking back sleep I topple out of bed and make my way down to the bathroom. I go to open the door when someone steps out and bangs right into me. Needless to say I fall over and am left at this person's feet, they chuckle in a low voice (No, not the feet); I look up. It was Harry.

I smile up at him, but not a sexy smile or a cute smile, a dazed smile. Which causes him to bend over and say:

"You hurt Gin? 'Coz you look kind of spaced out, did you hit your head?"

"Huh?" I really should work on the whole being in love with Harry thing, 'cause honestly if it carries on I'm going to be run down by a hippogriff. The thought of Buckbeak landing on top of me brought me out of my daze. I got up and looked at Harry.

"I'm fine, fine" or as fine as you can be while being totally in love with your brothers best friend, "I just sort of …" started daydreaming about how wonderful you would look at the end of an aisle.

"Well if you're sure you're okay." And he walked off.

I ran into the bathroom, turned it onto full power, and jumped in. The freezing cold water I had dreaded, easing the heat of my face.

I walked down, going over the jokes I had found in my brothers old joke books (Do I even need to say which brothers?) I saw Harry sitting alone at the kitchen table finishing a late breakfast.

Excellent.

"Hey Harry, how's your breakfast?" I ask innocently, sitting next to him.

"Oh fine." He said, looking up and smiling.

"Oh good." I look around, "Heard any good jokes recently?"

"Yeah actually –"

"'Coz I have," I cut across him, "This guy, he walks into a bar." He smiles politely waiting for me to finish, I hesitate, damn those eyes! Oh yeah the joke. "AN IRON

BAR!" I raw. He's looking a bit confused … maybe I should explain.

"You know because he walked into a bar, but it was an iron bar… instead of a actual bar… so it hurt?" He looked at me some more and then managed a small titter.

Well I honestly don't know what's the matter with him; it was an okay joke. Sure it wasn't as funny as sarcasm but hey, what is? Well I'll just have to try harder won't I?

"I've got another one. What do you call a dear with no eyes?"

Harry gave me a pitiful look. "No-Eye-Dear."

"No an… oh you know that one." I say downcast. "Well what do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs?"

He smiled momentarily. "I don't know."

"Still-No-I-Dear!" I shout, just before realising he was humouring me, when I was the one doing the humour…

"Okay what would you get if you gave Crookshanks Pigwidgeon?"

"Shredded Tweet." He said in a bored voice.

"What did the skunk say when the wind changed direction?"

"It's all coming back to me now."

I stood up defiantly and continued. "How do you stop a cockerel crowing on Sunday morning?"

"Have him for dinner Saturday night!" he answered, also standing to meet my gaze.

"Why did the hedgehog cross the road?" I almost screamed getting more and more purple in the face.

"To see his flat mate!"

"Okay then a little verse," I say changing tactics.

"Little owl in the sky

Dropping things from way up high,

Farmer George wipes his eye…"

"Oh thank goodness cows can't fly, you'll have to try harder than that!"

"What's red and white?"

"A frog sandwich. And the thing that's red, white and green is half a frog sandwich!"

"Okay mister smart ass, what do you get if cross an elephant with a ton of baked beans and Brussels sprouts?"

"Out of the way." He said in a mock bored voice.

"Why have giraffes got such big nostrils?"

"I'm not surprised have you seen the size of their fingers?"

"What do you call a cow with no legs?"

"Ground beef." He answered without thinking, his whole face screwed up in concentration, his eyes looking forward.

"What's black and white and red all over?"

"A Dalmatian with sunburn or-" he started because I was about to interrupt. "A penguin." I was unfazed.

"What's small and cuddly and blue?"

"A pygmy puff holding its breath."

"How do you make a tortoise fast?"

"Don't feed it for two months."

"What do you call a fly with no wings?"

"A walk."

"How do you stop a skunk from smelling?"

"Stick to corks up its nose"

"What is the best way of avoiding diseases spread by biting insects?"

"Don't bite any!"

I raised myself up to full height and looked into his eyes and whispered; "What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple."

"Half a maggot." Harry whispered back his face inches from mine, if I hadn't been so mad I would be extremely uncomfortable.

"What would you get if the Death Eaters attacked a field of cows?"

He thought for a moment.

"Udder destruction?" I nod.

"And what do you get if – I mean what goes – umm…" I didn't have any more jokes.

"Ha!" Said Harry triumphantly.

"No wait! What did the girl maggot say to the boy maggot?" he looked around, thinking hard. Then a look of horror appeared on his face.

"I really don't know." He said disbelievingly.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a joint like this!" I say, triumphant at last.

We look at each other for a moment; we're both sweaty and red in the face.

Then Harry asks me; "Err why's that funny?"

I shake my head "I don't know." I admit. He begins to laugh and then so do I, and we laugh and laugh until we can't stop.

But then it's again Harry's turn to ask me a question; "What was with all the animal jokes?"

"A joke book,"

"Let me guess it was –"

"Fred and George's, yeah."

We talked for a little longer and then Harry said we should see if we could find anyone else. I nodded.

"Wait one more joke;" That was my mistake right there; I could have left it, but no. I had to have the last laugh. "A muggle walks into the three broomsticks, right. He asks for a beer, right. Tom asks what that is… and…and…" I start to laugh hysterically again and couldn't get the rest of the joke out.

"And?" Harry prompts. I calm myself to finish the joke.

"And he says… I can't remember." Harry cocks an eyebrow.

"Why's that funny?"

"It's not – I mean – I can't remember."

He laughs to himself as he leaves. Making me the last laugh. I hate comedy.

Step 7: - Talk.