a/n: Sorry this took so long. I have major writer's block. The rest of the story is outlined, and I will do my best to update again tomorrow.

As always, thanks to willowaus for the beta read! What would I do without you?

Chapter 4: Conflicted

Sara approached the opening the rescue workers had excavated. It was going to be a tight squeeze for her. Looking at the serious faces around her, she nodded toward the space, "The guys are going to fit through that?"

Handing her a back board the fire chief grimaced, "It's the best we can do with the lack of stability. Strap them on to the board, and keep your eye open for sharp debris."

Taking a deep breathe, she fought the urge to look back at Grissom.

"Here," Matt interrupted making quick work of some rope and a carabiner, and clipped the backboard to her utility belt. "Concentrate on clearly the path as you go."

She nodded, bent down on her hands and knees, and began the slow arduous process through the debris.

Opening the channel on her radio, she was grateful for the headset. "Ryan, Derek. It's Sara. Can you hear me?"

"We hear you Sidle. You coming to get us?" Ryan's voice wavered as he spoke.

Pushing some metal from her path with her gloved hand, Sara nodded out of habit while she spoke, "I'm on my way. Hang tight guys."

Pushing past her feelings of claustrophobia, she searched her mind wildly for a song that would help her redirect her focus. Nothing was coming to her.

Instead her mind flashed instantly to Grissom.

--/--

"Sir, you should go to the hospital," the fire chief told Grissom as they stood nearby waiting for any radio communication.

His eyes were fixated on the hole where Sara had disappeared through. "I'm not leaving until I know she's safe," he whispered, and then instantly held his breathe when her voice crackled over the radio.

"Ryan, Derek. It's Sara. Can you hear me?"

He could hear a slight waver in her voice, and he instantly wanted to be near her, but instead he stood helplessly staring at the wreckage.

"Grissom?"

He turned to face the familiar voice. "Shouldn't you be finishing up those 1090's?" he asked trying to hide his fear.

"We were all worried at the lab when we heard your murder suicide blew up?" Greg explained timidly. Looking around him, he sized up the tension in the air. "Where's Sara?"

Nodding toward the rubble, he returned to his vigil. "In there."

Greg swallowed hard, "Was she in there when it blew?"

Silence hung in the air.

Taking a step forward, bile was rising in the younger man's throat. He rested his hand on his supervisors arm, turning him toward him. "Grissom, was she in there when it blew?" he repeated his question with a sense of urgency.

Before Grissom could reply, Sara's voice echoed through the air.

"I found what's left of some stairs! I think I'm close. Ryan can you hear me?"

"Yeah Sara, we hear you. I think I can see your light."

Relief flooded over Greg like a tidal wave. Once his brain processed what was going on, he quickly realized his friend was still in some real danger. Pulling out his cell phone to call the lab, he glanced up at his boss. Greg had a feeling that he could tell him he secretly wore woman's clothing, and wouldn't get a response.

--/--

Sara moved forward another inch, pushing some shrapnel out of her path. "Ryan!" she yelled hoping to hear them without the radio.

"Here Sara," a muffled voice returned.

Moving toward the sound she suddenly hissed in pain as metal ripped through her shirt sleeve drawing blood. She instantly wished they were all back in Spokane, and was waiting for the plexi-glass door to swing open and Sarge's voice berating them for not properly clearing the path.

Dust fell into her eyes, reminding her that the situation couldn't be any more real.

Pushing aside a stray board she finally saw the light beam from Ryan's flashlight. Adrenaline rushed through her, moving her forward. "Ryan, Derek. I'm here."

Ryan's eyes betrayed his fear and concern.

Sara looked from him to the still form to his right. "Derek," she breathed taking in the sight. He was on his stomach, but his torso disappeared beneath a large beam.

"Took you…long enough…Sidle," he wheezed. Blood smeared the corner of his mouth.

She wanted to cry, shout, and laugh all at the same time. "You're goin' hafta kick my ass when we get out of here," she told him shining her light on his back. "Can you feel your legs?" she asked him taking his hand.

"No," he whispered.

Looking at O'Donnell, she tried to access his injuries. His eyes were dilated, blood and grime coated his forehead, and he was cradling his right arm. "What about you. Where are you hurt?"

Taking a ragged breath, he wiped his eyes with his good arm. "It's hard to breathe, my arm's broken, maybe my ankle too, and I think I blacked out."

Thinking through her options, Sara unhooked the back board. "Alright. O'Donnell, follow me, I cleared the way. Foster you stay awake. I'm coming back, and we're going to get you out," she commanded.

Derek remained silent.

"Foster, did you hear me?" her voice cracked.

"Yeah Sara…you need to…make The Call," he told her.

Shaking her head violently, she took his hand again. "I don't think the victim gets to make the call. You stay awake, and I'll be back."

--/--

"I've got Officer O'Donnell. Foster's trapped under a wooden beam," Sara's voice announced. She was breathing hard, and Grissom could hear her fatigue.

The fire chief nodded, "What do need?"

"Something small…a car jack. I'll lift the beam, strap him to the back board and pull him out."

Snapping his fingers, several men jumped up to follow out the chief's unspoken order.

"Have it ready. He's in bad shape."

One of the younger firemen ran up with a jack.

"In my hands already Sidle," he told her.

--/--

Mackenzie was waiting for the pair as he helped Ryan from the debris, and into the hands of the waiting paramedics.

Turning back, he lifted Sara with ease.

She sought out the worried eyes of Grissom, and forced herself to turn away. She needed to maintain her focus for Derek's sake. Taking the jack she turned back to reenter the building even though her training told her she couldn't save her friend.

Grissom watched her disappear again. He couldn't help but wonder if she had cheated death too many times. In their relationship he always thought she would be the one mourning his death, but in that instant he wondered if he would have a funeral to attend in the near future. She had become his life, but no one knew it. He didn't want to keep it a secret any longer.

--/--

Sara once again reached Derek, and was relieved to see the rise and fall of his breathing. "Derek," she spoke, maneuvering around him, trying to determine the most strategic spot for the car jack.

A groan preceded his voice, "Sara. You shouldn't be here."

Ignoring his suggestion, she pushed the metal into place. Sara took the back board and readied it for a quick get away. Taking a deep breath, she gripped the wrench and pumped it once testing the structural stability.

A rumble warned them they were playing with fire.

Taking a deep breath, she took the wrench in her hand again, but was stopped before she could raise it another notch. Derek's hand was wrapped around hers.

"Sara. It's over," he told her weakly.

Tears stung her eyes. "No it's not. We can make it," she told him, but in her gut she knew he was right. His only way out was going to be amputation, but his injuries made it doubtful he would last long enough for a medical crew to help him.

Pressing the radio button she open the primary channel. "I can't raise the beam without collapsing the structure. The only way to free him is to amputate his legs."

"Copy that Sidle. We'll get a surgeon out here."

Lying down on her stomach she shifted so she could be eye level with him. Their fingers were intertwined. "I'm sorry," she told him.

He blinked a few times, trying to focus on her, "You should leave me."

Shaking her head, a tear finally slipped from her eyes and down her cheek. "As long as you're breathing. I'm staying."

"We were going to hit the strip tonight," he told her, forcing the tears away, trying to focus on the warmth that was spreading over his body.

She laughed softly. "Matt told me. He wanted me to go."

Squeezing her hand, he nodded. "I think he had ulterior motives." A ringing in his ears made it hard for him to concentrate. "I don't think he knows you're spoken for."

Sara could see him slipping away, and she was torn between letting him go because his pain would end, and trying to keep him talking for her selfish personal reasons. "Derek, I don't want to say good bye," she was crying openly now.

"Sara Sidle never does what she doesn't want to do. This time though, I think I win," he told her. His grip on her hand loosened. "Thanks for staying with me. Good bye Sara."

"Derek, I'm sorry," she told him, but he didn't hear it. The life in his eyes were gone, she couldn't see his chest moving. "Good bye," she whispered.

TBC…