Warnings: OOC-ness, Itachi is definitely not like himself, there might be minor spoilers for anyone who doesn't know what the Akatsuki organization is.

Pairing: ItaNaru

Summary: He could feel eyes watching him everywhere he went, if the owner of those eyes didn't show themselves soon, he'd go mad!

Genre: Humor (Despite the kind of dramatic sounding summery this is kind of a crack fic) romance (But more humor than romance)

Rating: PG-13 to be safe.

It all started out so simply, first it was just the vague feeling of being watched, he used use to being stared at because he was the 'demon fox vessel,' it was nothing knew. But when he was completely alone in his room and he still felt like he was being watched, he began to get a bit jumpy.

At the smallest sound he'd go into an over dramatic fighting pose that he's ripped off of Rock Lee. He snuck around and was a lot more quiet than usual, not wanting to attract attention. And if someone ever shouted his name, Lee for instants, Naruto would immediately hide behind someone until his mind registered that he knew this person, this person was safe.

Hell, he probably hid behind half the people in this town in one week, he never knew he was that popular with people. Although he wished they wouldn't shout his name so loudly, that could give away his position!

He was pretty sure his teammates had notice something by now, since they were his most common hiding places.

Now, Naruto usually would be so overactive to this type of thing, but the nervous feeling in his stomach seemed to grow everyday.

That and he was completely aware that Akatsuki was after him, Ero-Sennin did tell him after all.

So it could be the freaky shark guy, or some person he'd never seen before, or Sasuke's older brother.

Now Naruto wasn't quite certain of this, but he was pretty certain it was the shark guy. He didn't know how they figured out that he was afraid of large fish with sharp teeth, but hey, they were a cult, they knew everything.

But still, if it was the Akatsuki, then wouldn't they have just kidnapped him when he was alone, or while he was sleeping? The answers seemed unreachable and each and everyday he could feel himself getting more and more insecure.

'If I go crazy then will still call me superman! If I'm alive and well will you be there a-holding my hand! …. AH! I'm going insane!'

Then, around three weeks after his first strange feeling of being watched, he began finding letters on his bedside table each morning he woke up.

They were short and strange, hardly making any sense at all, but after each one it was signed in red.

From Your Beloved Paper Fan.

'What the FUCK!'

Days past by, the letters not stopping, the feeling in the pit of his stomach not stopping, the message at the end of each letter not making sense.

It was completely by accident that one day, after a little jump behind Sasuke after Kiba yelled out his name in greeting, that Naruto noticed something strange.

There was a paper fan on Sasuke's shirt.

"AH! SASUKE'S STALKING MEEEEEEEE!" He leapt away from Sasuke and into Sakura's unwilling arms, trembling.

"… What?" 'You can't fool me Sasuke, it all makes sense now!' "You! You have a paper fan on your back!" Naruto yelled, pointing angrily at Sasuke before Sakura let him fall from her arms.

"Naruto you dobe! That's because Uchiha means paper fan! It's his family crest, besides, Sasuke-kun has much better things to do then stalk you around." She cast a dreamy look at Sasuke, who was already walking away.

"Uhh, am I missing something?" Kiba asked dryly, Sakura ignored him and Naruto frowned at him.

"I thought I told you to stop yelling out my name." "Yeah, but I can't help it, it's so fun to watch you run for cover!" "Shut up!"

After going home and twiddling him thumbs for quite a while, for he had nothing else to do you see, it finally hit him like a ton of bricks, knocking him from his rocking chair to the floor!

Actually he just leaned to far back, but that's not important.

What was important was that it finally all made sense.

"Sasuke's dead relatives are stalking me!... No, that doesn't seem right actually, why would they want to follow me around…" Naruto swore he heard a strangled cough behind him, but he ignored it.

"Maybe they just don't like me and want to haunt me for all eternity!" There was that weird sound again. "Ah! They hate my life!"

Then, before you could say 'kunai' two strong hands grasped his shoulders, turned him around and Naruto found himself staring into the deep, beautiful, endless, sexy, dark, brooding, mischievous, daring black eyes of…

"ITACHI!" Surprise!

Itachi gave a small cough, frown crossing over his lips.

"I'd rather you not yell my name so loudly, unless of course we are in the middle of a sweet passionate embrace, not a hug, a sweet and passionate embrace."

Naruto took a step back and eyed Itachi critically. "Does that mean you want to molest me?"

Itachi, who had quiet a vivid imagination, promptly fell unconscious from a major nose bleed.

"Ah! Not on my carpet! Do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out!"

And so Naruto found himself nursing Itachi back to health, because damn it! Itachi was going to pay for new carpet! There was blood everywhere!

'GAH! I despise you Itachi! I know you're faking being ill, but I'm not giving in, you will pay for my carpet, as payment for me looking after you, and having to wear the nurse's outfit!'

Indeed, Itachi had made Naruto put on a nurses outfit, it was short and white and soooo… Hospital-ish. And Naruto looked good in it! (Not that he'd let anyone know he thought that.)

And it was during the week that Naruto was taking care of Itachi, (Itachi swore that he was still feeling light-headed from blood-loss.) that Naruto noticed something, he didn't feel like he was being watched when he was outside, only when he was inside of his apartment.

'… Oh God, I should have know from the paper fan thing! I am such a dumbass!' Naruto thought as he marched back to his apartment, completely ignoring Sakura's demands to stay put at the bridge.

Kakashi wasn't going to show up for a couple more hours anyways, so he might as well confront one of the most evil, disturbing, perverted, sexy--- Uhhh, definitely not sexy! Evil! Evil enough to scare that pants off of Orochimaru! And make Orochimaru do his bidding. (Like buy nail polish for him!)

So he stomped to his apartment, stomped inside, stomped to his bedroom and glared at Itachi with all of his might.

Itachi simply asked. "Why aren't you wearing the nurse's outfit?"

Naruto seethed angrily. "STALKER! STALKERSTALKERSTALKERSTALKER!"

Itachi, who by then was beginning to get a headache, quickly appeared in front of Naruto and grasped the boy's shoulders.

"I thought you were still weak from blood loss." "I was, come on, you were in a nurse outfit everyday, I'm not a great enough man to ignore you when you're wearing skin tight leather." "… You were stalking me." "As GatobobSpotty would say: A stalker is just an admirer with more devotion."

Naruto's eyes widened and got all shiney. "You admire me?" He asked in a squealing voice and Itachi sweatdropped. "…Yes…" Naruto glomped onto him, loudly proclaiming. "Kiss me you fool!" And it took Itachi all of 0.152 seconds to reply to that request.

Inner Itachi: ALL RIGHT! SCORE!