Obi-Wan's lightsabre sawed through yet another of Grievous's battle droids, twirling it around in that arrogant Jedi way to kill another one. He smirked. This battle was going extremely well. As he looked around, he didn't see a single dead Jedi. Obi-Wan, he thought, you've really outdone yourself this time. He worked through a tight knot of droids, resisting the urge to yawn spectacularly. That's when he felt the rumble.
When he felt it, it took him a second to realize what it was. But when it dawned on him exactly where the rumble was coming from, a cold wave rushed over him. He was no longer feeling quite so confident. The rumble came from his stomach.
"Master! Look what I made!" Obi-Wan turned around to see his eighteen year old padawan running towards him with a large cooking bowl in hand. The smell hit him and nearly knocked him out: a light, creamy, sweet, heavenly aroma... He had never known Anakin as a cook... Ani shoved the bowl in Obi-Wan's face to force him to look at what Anakin had made "all by himself". It was diced, sugered peaches, smothered in warm cream.
"Can I?" Obi-Wan asked, indicating the spoon floating in the mixture. Anakin nodded violently, nearly upsetting his bowl. Obi-Wan dipped the spoon in the bowl and brought it to his mouth, being careful not to get any stuck in his beard. Oh. Peaches and cream. So...good...
Fifteen minutes later, he and Anakin lounged on Obi-Wan's bed, happily full of Anakin's peaches and cream.
"Anakin, you have really outdone yourself this time...what else can you cook?" Anakin shrugged.
"I dunno, I've never really tried."
"Well, for a first time that was pretty good!" Obi-Wan said, slowly shaking his head. "Och, I can hardly move...peaches are pretty filling..." Anakin smiled contentedly. Obi-Wan had enjoyed his cooking, and right now that's all he cared about.
That was this afternoon. Now, on the battlefield, Obi-Wan knew that eating a huge bowl of peaches and cream wasn't the best idea. How convenient is diahorrea in the middle of a huge battle? He shoved off a couple more droids, and fought his way to somwhere he could have peace for just a little while. Those peaches were becoming pretty impatient. He threw of another enemy, trying with all his might to clench together his buttocks. Just a few more minutes, he thought, a couple more minutes is all I need...
Miraculously, he found the strength to hold himself together until he found a secluded little spot a few feet into the forest. There, he let loose, smiling a little at the absurdity. Just as he was straightening up and buttoning his pants, he heard some thrashing through the underbrush. He paused, senses tuned for danger. He heard a quiet zip, and then explosive diahorrea. He grimaced, thinking that they seemed to be having more trouble than he was.
"Master, is that you?"
Obi-Wan turned and parted the leaves slightly to find that his padawan was the culprit of the sound. "Making peaches and cream again, anytime soon?" He chuckled slightly, watching the look of agonized anger and humiliation on Anakin's face.
"Never again, Master...never again."