A/N: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the Harry Potter brand. I don't own the line "And as I lay me down to sleep...ah Shalom...shalom..." that belongs to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer brand and Joss Whedon and the person that wrote it. The whole "Why is the wine gone?" and "And then...they made me their chief." is not mine but belongs to the Pirates of the Carribean movies and writers. And I don't own the "Itsy Bitty Spider" song!
"Of course it's me you silly girl." replied a hurt Snape. "I was caught in a time turner accident and I'm stuck in my 16 year old body. I thought you loved me."
"Whew, I thought for a minute Whisper's Song was denying me of my dream...she didn't want to know what would happen it THAT happened..." she paused. "So your this way, forever?"
"Pretty much." Brynne jumped up in the air.
"Sweet...boy do I have plans...
"And as I lay me down to sleep...ah Shalom...shalom..." chanted a random student as they peered over the window. Lockheart had been reading for two hours was only on page 10.
Fearing this would never stop, and the sound of his voice had many students wanting to jump off the ledge and be put out of their misery. They tried to kill Lockheart but I didn't let them, as I've said many a time, I love to toture the students.
"Someone please shoot me, I don't care who it is, just do it." Ron pleaded.
"I'm too busy planning my own death." answered Draco.
Then SUDDENLY...
the room started to move...
FORWARD?
Oh dear, Whisper's Song has changed her mind again...
"Whoa, we're on a TRAIN?" Harry said.
"Looks like it." Hermione answered.
"Complete with food trolley?" Ron asked hopefully.
"NO." I answered him.
"Dude, she's back." Blaise said. "Whoa...check her out..."
"Yeah, do you think I would miss my own friend's wedding?" I asked with a "duh" quality to my voice.
"Wait a second! A WEDDING?" they all shouted at once.
"Yeah remember Brynne? She got her wish and they're getting married."
"They've known each other for five minutes and they're getting married?" Ron asked in disbelief.
"They're pulling a Britney/Jason!" Blaise exclaimed.
"A what?" Hermione asked.
"Britney Spears, she and her friend Jason got married, intoxication, you know the drill." Blaise said. Everyone turned to stare at him. "What?"
"I don't even want to know." Draco said. "Dear God is this a church on a...train?"
"Well wedding does equal chruch." I said, smoothing my turquoise dress out. "Okay which one of you wants to be my date?" The guys went wide.
"WHAT?"
"I need a date, I'm a bridesmaid." I explained. "Hmm...I'll take...Draco!" I grabbed his arm.
"I told you she finds me sexy." he said smugly.
"No, you were the closest guy. Plus and I tell you all about how much school sucks!"
"Oh yeah...you missed out on bashing something last time, so why school?" he asked.
"Because I have freakin mid terms in about, oh a month or so. But if I pass them I don't have to take the final exams and skip a day of school!"
"You should talk to Dumbledore about doing that."
"Nope, because then there would be less torture."
"Your mad aren't you?" he asked me.
"I like to think I'm like Edgar Allan Poe, brillant but just on the edge of madness."
"Your really starting to scare me..." I smiled
"Good."
Brynne floated down the aisle in a dress that she told me what it looks like but I forgot it, and joined Snape at the alter. Suddenly a tall red head came out in priest robes too big for her. And she tripped on her first step out.
"I meant to do that..." she muttered as she walked to the alter. "Uh...Dumbledore was preoccupied-"
"Probably with McGonagall!" Blaise called out.
"Who is this girl?" Harry whispered to me.
"Redlyght's Dawning. A friend of mine. For the story she's an elf." I explained.
"Dearly beloved we are here to gather these two people in holy-"
"Like they are 'holy'!" Blaise called out again. Katy glared at him.
"Maybe you should just get to the good part." Brynne suggested.
"You mean the kissing?" Blaise called out again.
Too bad Blaise didn't know that Redlyght's Dawning had a temper.
"I think I can kill two birds with one stone." she said advancing on Blaise.
"Do you promise to love and cherish each other, for richer or poorer, until death do you part? Do you take each other to be man and wife?"
"I do." Brynne and Snape at the same time.
"And do you want your life spared?" she asked.
"I do." Blaise said.
"Now I do want to present to you-"
"WAIT UP!" Pansy called. "You both said I do, after those vows, aren't you two married?"
"SHIT!" Redlyght's Dawning cried. "We are." Blaise's eyes went wide.
"You tricked me!"
"It's called an accident." she said.
"It's called unusual." Harry said.
"It's called HUH?" Draco said.
"It's called unproper." Hermione said
"It's called surprise." Ron said.
"It's called an annulment." I answered."Oh well, it may be your wedding but it's my story and I say we party! Everyone follow me to Great Hall!"
Two hours later...
"And then...they made me their chief." Redlyght's Dawning said, as she was now drunk over her imprompt to marriage.Which was clearly apparrent because of the empty wine shot glasses. When the shots stopped coming she asked.
"Why is the wine gone?"
"I'm cutting you off."
"Why is the wine gone?"
"You've had enough." the bartender argued.
"I'll tell you when I've had enough!" and she then fell down to the floor muttering.
"But why is the wine gone?..."
"How dare you Draco Malfoy!" shouted Padfoot's Sidekick as she slapped him. "I'm not that kind of a girl. I unlike you am smart." SiriuslyFunny then appeared out of no where.
"Sweet! I'm in Bashing!"
"Shoot, I thought this was a dream. Draco over here, was trying to get me back to his room."
"Shall we turn him into something?"
"Sure, what?"
"A pineapple!" Padfoot's Sidekick said excitedly. "Whisper's Song! Make Draco a pineapple!" Suddenly Draco was one. "Thank you Whisper's Song!"
"Can we go party?" SiriuslyFunny asked.
"We shall."
Then something happened that was SO shocking...
SO unexpected...
SO awesome...
SO over hyped by me...
That it was the talk of everyone for six months.
Not only was Professor McGonagall DRUNK.
But she was wearing a TUTU.
Yes, everyone. You read right.
She hiccuped and grabbed the mike to say dramatically.
"Dance with me Dumbledore!" Dumbledore looked embaressed a bit. "DJ SPIN THAT SHIT!"
"Mike check, one two, one two, this is your boy Voldemort on the mixes tonight! This one formy boy, Dumbledore!" and as McGonagall started to dance wildly next to Dumbledore, he moved his arms to the left and right, snapping.
"Yo McG!" Flitwick called. "Why are you with this loser? I can be your homie! I can be your man!" he said. "Who couldn't resist these moves?" and he started to break dance.
"GO FLITWICK! GO FLITWICK!" a group of people called.
"Go away, I want Dumbledore and only him!" McGonagall said pushing Flitwick away. "Oh wait! I know what will do just the trick!" She then drug a gold necklace heavily iced (aka A LOT of diamonds.) and placed around his neck. Dumbledore suddenly seemed to feel the ghetto power and started to become as wild as McGonagall.
Many students after this reception became blind.
And that's all I'm gonna say.
Brynne then called everyone to attention.
She was like everyone else, drunk.
She cleared her throat as the Great Hall started to split in the middle. It revealed that underneath was a pool. Brynne then started to sing, with theproper hand motions that usually accompanied the song.
"The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout,
Down came the water and washed the spider out!
Out came the sun and dried off all the rain,
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again!" she paused.
"So let's make like that spider and get washed out!" and she cannon balled into the pool.
Too many people were acting too weird...there was champange...but it was mostly soda all around. Then I realized...
"Damn it!" I muttered. "OKAY WHO SWITCHED THE VOLDKA WITH THE SPRITE AGAIN?"
Suddenly my friend Stephanie froze with a bottle of voldka in her hands. She then lifted up the witches hat she was wearing and put the bottle on her head and replaced the hat over the bottle and started to dance.
Whew...close one...
Innocent's Thyme held up a glass of champange and looked fasicnated as she saw the skittles she had dropped in there float around. She grinned and said
"Taste the rainbow!" and downed it in one gulp.
Too bad she was choking on the Skittles. Redlyght's Dawning passed by her and shouted in her drunken state.
"IS THIS MODERN ART?"
"I'm choking..." Innocent's Thyme whispered.
"CAUSE I DON'T SEE THE POINT OF IT!"
"Help!" she squeaked.
"OH WAIT! ARE YOU CHOKING?"
"Yes!" Innocent said in joy.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP YOU. I WAS MISSING THAT DAY IN CLASS!" she laughed. "I'LL SEE YOU LATER INNOCENT!"
Innocent then fainted.
Just then xLove's Spiritx showed up.
"Innocent...Innocent...what have you gotten yourself into now..." she sighed. "Once again up to me to save you...if I didn't live in another state..." she muttered as she dragged Innocent off.
Innocent's Thyme finally walked into the party.
"Okay be nice...you know Whisper's Song...ok that's one person..." she looked up
The party was over.
And the swimming pool was drained.
"NO! I wanted to swim in that pool..." she cried. Soon her tears started to fill the pool up again.
"Thank you Whisper's Song!" she said excitedly. In my response I made a float and a drink appear.
"Sweet!" and she dived for the float already on the water.
Too bad she missed.
"Damn you Whisper's Song...DAMN YOU!"
Redlyght's Dawning stumbled unto the pool's edge.
"Why is everyone gone? Did I miss the party?" she paused. "DAMN IT!" she sighed. "But I got me wine." she grinned and then lost her balance and fell in.
"And I go down with the ship..."
"Wait a sec, where's Draco?" people from the crowd wondered. Then they took a look at their cups...
Which had pineapple slices on them.
"Uh oh..."
I know those marriage vows suck but for story purposes they work!
I must thank all my friends, even Redlyght's Dawning who bothered me for probably two weeks about whether I had written this chapter or not, for letting me intoxicate them!
Thank you to Padfoot's Sidekick and SiriuslyFunny! I hope you like how I wrote you in!
Yes you can be in the next chapter! Just tell me your pen name and what you would like to do and I'll put you in!
Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Keep them coming!
Whisper's Song