Golgotha

Disclaimer: The Misfits are Red Witch's creation. Charmed, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Pirates of the Caribbean, X-men Evolution, and Kingdom Hearts are not mine. I don't own the Incredibles either; they're property of Disney Pixar.

Cerebro. A machine of great power, especially when harnessed by a powerful telepath could detect any use of unusual abilities anywhere on planet Earth. As Charles Xavier and Erich Lensherr's project, it was an eye of unimaginable potency for the X-men.

Charles Xavier almost wept with exhaustion. For the past two weeks mutant signatures had been appearing all over San Francisco. Almost as suddenly half of them were either killed or disappeared, into the hands of whom he didn't want to imagine. The Hellfire Club? COBRA? Trask? Whoever these Heartless were?

It appeared the Friends of Humanity had established a very strong presence in San Francisco, many of these dead mutants were attributed to the Friend of Humanity. Xavier went to a phone to contact the Misfits, and then awakened the rest of the X-men. This was something that concerned all mutants

Cerebro beeped yet again and it's programmed female voice echoed in the chamber, "Unknown signature reported. San Francisco Bay Area. Four signatures. Name Robert Parr, age 43. Name Helen Parr, age 40. Name Violet Parr, age 14. Name Dashiell Robert Parr, age 10. Location. San Francisco…"

Xavier moved his wheel chair out into the mansion. There was an important meeting to attend.

"Ted will you get off the phone? You just saw Paige this Friday." Sands shouted.

"Why, so you can call the latest party line?" Roadblock quipped.

"Hey." Sands replied, "I used Beach Head's credit card, so it's not like I utilized any house expenses. Besides, Mountaineer probably contributes a hefty sum to the phone bill with daily calls to San Francisco."

"It's better than twice daily calls to the 1-900 line." Ted replied.

"Like I'm the only suspect." Sands glared.

"Sands, you're glaring at a house plant. Sharpen your senses before you face someone at whom you rant." Roadblock rhymed.

"Ha ha. I'm looking at another suspect of the 1-900 line. I believe you ran up the expenses rivaled only by the Blind Master." Sands replied.

"Don't piss off someone who's teaching you to compensate your lack of sight. I may lead you off a cliff." Blind Master replied.

"Anyway, what's the point of all this?" Ted remarked, and then turned towards the phone still in his right hand, "I'll call you on my cell later, Paige. I love you."

"Blech." Sands groaned.

"Watch it…" Ted growled.

"Anyway, we need to draw up a call limit if you will, so that we don't generate as big a phone bill." Roadblock began.

Cover Girl walked into the kitchen, and took a yogurt container out of the fridge and commented, "Last time we tried something like that, things went straight to hell."

"So many of us run up enormous phone bills." Roadblock said, "Hawk wasn't too thrilled about our latest one."

"Well, blame Mountaineer and his calls to San Francisco." Sands remarked.

"Do you want your cane shoved in a very painful place…" Ted threatened.

"OK. Kill each other later." Cover Girl remarked, "This is something we need to address."

"Well the kids run up quite a bill." Ted replied.

"Lance calling Kitty. Pietro and any number of prank calls. Reactions to prank calls." Cover Girl ticked off examples on her fingers.

"Hey! I don't run up that big of a…" Lance protested, as he walked in for a soda and then the phone rang.

"I'll get it! It's for me!" Lance shouted as he ran over to the phone.

"He's even worse than you." Sands quipped, "OW!"

Ted whacked him in the back of the head.

"Will you guys stop acting like the kids for crying out…" Cover Girl began.

Lance said, "Guys, where's Roadblock. It's Xavier…"

After Roadblock picked up the phone he said, "Gather everyone in the living room in ten minutes."

"What's going on?" Spirit asked.

"Xavier just contacted us with information, sight unseen." Roadblock began, "Apparently mutants are surfacing all over San Francisco. And quite a few of them are disappearing or being killed by the FOH before we can get to them. Because one of us has connections in San Francisco, is why he called acting so keen."

"Right." Ted replied, "I have contacts in San Francisco."

"So do I." Sands replied, coming in from the kitchen, "I just got off the phone with one of them. Things are really fucked up down there, the Friends of Humanity's gained something of a following down there. Three mutants have been killed in the past few weeks."

"What should we do?" Althea asked.

"Sands, how reliable are your sources?" Ted asked.

"Pretty reliable. Why?" Sands asked.

"How deeply can they penetrate the FOH?" Ted asked.

"Mountaineer, why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what you're about to say." Cover Girl asked.

"They can probably name a leader or two." Sands replied.

"Good." Ted replied.

"That's out of the question." Roadblock said.

"Agreed." Cover Girl added.

"Wait, what are we talking about here?" Emily Arlington asked.

"I'm talking about identifying the leaders of these FOH groups." Ted replied.

"That doesn't seem too bad." Emily asked.

"Identify them and then kill them." Ted replied, "Cut off the head and the snake will die."

"Absolutely not! We're not an assassination squad." Cover Girl began.

"In Israel that policy worked. We broke the backs of numerous Palestinian terror cells by finding their leaders and then killing them." Ted replied.

"This isn't Israel, Ted." Emily began.

"And we're not paid assassins." Arcade added.

"Maybe Mountaineer has a point." Shipwreck said.

"Shipwreck, you can't be serious." Cover Girl blanched.

"He has a point." Shipwreck said, "If we identify the leaders and kill them…"

"Finding and assassinating American citizens? What are we, the KGB?" Blind Master added.

"These 'citizens' are responsible for their share of murders of mutants. Kids barely teenagers I'm hearing." Ted replied.

"That's correct." Low Light replied, "I agree with Ted, if we go after their leaders, either kill or capture them the Friends of Humanity will be less of a thorn in our side."

"You can't be serious?" Cover Girl replied.

"I haven't been any more serious about anything in my life." Ted replied, "We have the training, the capabilities, and the personnel…"

"And I'm not about to get the kids' hands dirty." Cover Girl protested.

"We have killed in battle before, Cover Girl." Ted argued.

"But going up to people and assassinating them is completely different. It's something COBRA would use." Cover Girl argued.

"I agree." Blind Master argued, "We should arrest and interrogate the FOH leaders, not simply gun them down."

"If they're anything like the Palestinian terrorists I've faced over the past nine years." Ted replied, "They're not likely to surrender when we level guns at them, or because the Misfits are at their doorstep. And I argue if we cut the head of the FOH the body will die."

"Even if we kill one, another leader can rise. It's like the Hydra snake." Fred replied.

"Someone paid attention in class the other day." Ted commented, "And I disagree. Kill one frighten a hundred."

"Ted, you're starting to sound like a terrorist." Cover Girl replied.

"I still say it can work." Ted replied.

"I'm not about to let you repeat another Operation Decapitation." Roadblock replied, brusquely.

"Operation Decapitation?" Lance asked, turning to Ted, "What's he talking about?"

"It was an operation the Shin Bet, the Israeli Internal Security Service, launched against the Palestinian Intifada in 2001-2003." Roadblock replied, "That's where I first met Ted. Almost every Palestinian wanted for terrorist act was killed or captured during Decapitation. Most of them were killed."

"I can tell them what happened." Ted replied.

Israel 2001. The burned out shell of the night club brought pillars of smoke into the night sky. Ted helped lead a wounded Israeli girl, putting pressure on a gauze pad on her arm. "It will be alright. You're going to be fine…" Ted began.

The girl sobbed piteously, "But Sacha won't. It was only his twentieth birthday. He had only five days left in the Army and then this man came into the club with a bomb…He was going to marry me soon…We were going to live in Galilee…"

Ted led the girl to the nearest ambulance. God, if it is in Your power, allow me to kill the bastards who planned this attack. Ted thought.

YAMAS Base Camp, several hours later. The mournful notes of a solemn rendition of the Hatikva, the Israeli national anthem echoed through the concrete room as the men of the Gaza YAMAS Unit clustered on couches, chairs, seated on the floor, or on top of a large supply crate. It was a collection of men aged twenty through forty, wearing a mixture of MAGAV uniforms and civilian attire. The radio broadcast was dedicated to the young men and women who died in the night club blast. Many of them were teenagers or university students. People on the cusp of life, but now dead.

God, let me kill the sonofabitch. I want the shot. Ted thought. The thought of the mourning young woman, whose fiancé died in the explosion, entered his mind as her cries echoed through his head.

In the center of the room, an older gentleman in his fifties, wearing a three piece suit, sans tie stood. He held up a picture as he spoke, "Mahmud Ali, planner and organizer of the Al-Aqsa Martyr's Brigade. We believe he was responsible for the planning of the bombing. He is among the top ten wanted by the Shin Bet. The government wants him dead or alive, but should he die trying to resist, your unit will not be reprimanded…"

Two days later: The battered Fiat sedan drove through the crowded street of the Gaza marketplace. Ted checked the IMI Jericho 941F pistol underneath his shirt, drawing back the slide to check that there was a 9mm cartridge chambered. A head scarf wrapped his head concealed his features.

Samad, sitting beside him in the back seat nodded as the car stopped as Avi stepped out of the car and popped the hood, as though he had engine trouble. Samad and Ted walked over to a Palestinian, in his mid-thirties. "Mahmud Ali?" Samad asked, "I heard you were a mechanic by trade."

"Yes." Mahmud replied, smiling, "How may I help you gentlemen?"

Ted and Samad both drew out their pistols and Mahmud's expression changed. "Mahmud Ali, you are under arrest for your role in the suicide bombing of the Jerusalem Bistro…"

Ali reached into his shirt and both men squeezed the triggers of their weapons multiple times, emptying the magazines into Ali's chest and limbs. Mahmud Ali fell to the ground, shot seventeen times at point blank range. Ted aimed at Ali's forehead and squeezed off one final round…

"Within three months," Ted began evenly, "We killed or captured a large number of wanted terrorists and managed to prevent countless terror attacks."

The Misfits could see, however, the psychological toll that Gaza had taken on Ted. "So see that I did not come to this decision lightly. But I think if we target the FOH's leadership we can succeed in at least stalling them."

"Ted, let's consult cooler heads before we carry out such a radical plan." Roadblock said, "We shouldn't just go after FOH leadership just because we can."

"We are not an assassination unit." Spirit replied.

"I for one," Shipwreck began, "Don't see any problem with taking the offensive."

"Going and simply shooting people?" Cover Girl protested.

"What if Ted's right?" Lance asked.

"It seems like a reasonable idea. Go on the offensive, keep them hiding so they can't hurt other mutants…" Althea added.

"Al, I can't believe you're saying this!" Toad began, "Ted's talking about killing unsuspecting people."

"Those unsuspecting people, Toad, wouldn't hesitate to kill us." Xi replied, "It seems to be in our best interests."

"It just seems a little shady." Toad replied.

"Kill one, frighten a hundred. Psychologically, that can work." Fred replied.

"Blob, you're agreeing with this?" Toad began, "I can't believe we're contemplating assassinating people. Ted, didn't you guys try and arrest these people?"

"Terrorists don't exactly surrender when guns are leveled in their direction. We operate with a shoot first and ask questions later policy." Ted replied.

"I'll tell you what we're not going to do." Roadblock said, "We are not going off half cocked. We will share this information with the X-men and plan what we will do to take San Francisco back from the Friends of Humanity."

Roadblock turned to Ted, "With as few deaths of FOH members as possible."

"Understood." Ted replied.

Xavier wheeled into the living room of the X-Mansion, after having got off the phone with Roadblock. He explained the gist of the idea that the Misfits had been discussing.

"We're not assassins." Scott Summers instantly began.

"I can't believe the Misfits are even considering this." Pitor remarked.

"I always knew they were no good." Bobby added.

"I don't know, Charles, Maple Leaf certainly has a point." Logan began, "The best defense would be a good offense."

"That sounds like something Magneto would say, Logan." Jean began.

"Think about it, Red. If we keep the Friends of Humanity running scared they can't attack us." Logan replied.

"Yeah, but killing them?" Jean asked, "There has to be a better solution. Can't we just arrest them?"

"There seems to be a revolving door problem involving those who kill mutants." Logan said.

"SHIELD might be willing to detain those FOH leaders we arrest." Jean Grey replied.

"I'll talk to Fury about it." Logan replied, "But they can't plot if they're dead."

"I can't believe we're contemplating something that Magneto would think up." Kitty replied.

"It's turning into a war, Half Pint. I hate to say that." Logan replied.

"But since when do we go down the road of Magneto?" Kitty asked.

"Kitty, not even all the Misfits agreed with Mountaineer's idea." Scott began.

"There's another matter," Xavier began, "Four new unknown signatures were identified recently."

Xavier played the recording of Cerebro's announcement.

"Unknown signatures?" Scott asked.

"What does that mean?" Warren asked.

"It wasn't identified what the signatures were." Xavier replied.

"Do you think they're witches?" Jean asked, "I mean the Halliwells didn't register on Cerebro, and Whitelighters and Demons can't be detected by it either."

"We wouldn't have detected them if that was the case, Big Red." Logan added.

"It would appear the Misfits would be our best source of information for San Francisco, after all at least one of their members has ties to the area." Xavier concluded, "But we must find this Parr family."

"Maple Leaf," Logan said, using his nickname for Ted, "Almost always heads off to San Francisco to see Paige. I'll go see if we can't ask him to find out about the Parr's."

The Halliwell Manor was in a business as usual state, with one addition.

"I swear if I see one more noise complaint…" Piper groaned.

"To be fair, it was Shipwreck's fault." Paige began.

"Paige! As far as the neighbors know, Shipwreck is associated with us!" Piper said, "What do you expect us to do? Tell the neighbors about the Mass Device?"

Just then Ted teleported into the kitchen, behind Piper as she was ranting, "Paige, every time Ted comes over something goes wrong. Namely Misfits pop up, Heartless appear, the X-men and Misfits go at it, Shipwreck or the Misfits' immature handlers go on a bender, the Pirates go on a bender or some combination…"

"Don't forget all of the above." Paige began.

"What now?" Piper whirled round, hearing the familiar sound of the Mass Device.

"Is this a bad time?" Ted asked.

"Yes." Piper replied.

"Trust you to always be honest." Ted replied.

"Since when do you develop a Sands personality streak?" Piper replied.

"Please do not use me and Sands' names in the same sentence." Ted replied, "By the way he's thinking of moving into the Manor…"

"Absolutely not!" Piper snapped.

"Relax, I'm just joking." Ted replied, "I'd rather ask Paige to orb him to the county landfill."

"Every time you show up something bad happens." Piper began.

"Piper, that was maybe one occasion." Ted replied.

"One occasion? One occasion? There was more than one occasion where your arrival heralded imminent destruction and chaos!" Piper shouted, spreading her arms out.

"Name one." Ted replied.

"OK, there was the incident where we first met you." Piper replied.

"Piper, to be fair, Ted was being attacked by Nazarac at the time because she was trying to kill Sands." Paige replied.

"Not now, Paige…" Piper replied.

"Alright, so maybe that incident was on the destructive side…" Ted replied.

"Slightly destructive? Slightly destructive?" Piper began, "First you bring a blind criminal into the house…"

"For which I apologize." Ted replied.

"Then four hyperactive mutant teenagers, an insane sailor and a pirate come raging over here and cause mayhem and destruction!" Piper ranted.

"As if that doesn't happen already," Ted quipped, "What with your contact with demons…"

"Ted, not another word!" Piper said.

"Well the grandfather clock always seems to get destroyed every time a demon pays us a visit." Paige replied.

"Demon destruction is one thing. Round the clock insanity is something else entirely!" Piper remarked.

"OK, so maybe the first time was an exception rather than a rule." Ted began, "I admit some insanity jumped into the mix. But that was whenever I show up regarding work. When I come by not on work related things, nothing happens."

"Did you forget your first date with Paige?" Piper remarked.

"Hello, I'm in the room here, Piper!" Paige protested.

Piper continued her rant at Ted, "First the Misfits wreck a movie theater with the X-men. Then Shipwreck and his insane buddies get drunk, steal a rocket booster, attach it to a shopping cart and launch themselves down the road and smash themselves into a wall…"

"It was kind of funny to see you wailing on Shipwreck." Paige replied.

"I agree." Ted replied, squeezing her hand.

Paige returned the squeeze and Ted added, "And Paige and I have been on other dates where nothing happened."

"Might I ask why you decide to shred me to ribbons when I showed up earlier?" Ted replied.

"Let's just say Shipwreck's latest misadventure, not to mention insane Pirates running around the neighborhood." Piper replied, "It ruined our new neighbors' dinner."

"That was more Zartan's fault, Piper, not mine." Ted replied.

"Whatever." Piper said, as she went to get dinner started.

Ted and Paige walked outside onto the porch. Ted wrapped his arms around Paige's waist, as she wrapped her own around his neck and he kissed her. "Is there any reason Piper was going absolutely ballistic on me today?"

"Piper really feels bad that she recommended a restaurant to our neighbors that got attacked by Zartan and COBRA." Paige replied.

"I can understand." Ted replied, "So who are your new neighbors?"

"The Parr family." Paige replied, "They moved over here from Syracuse. Syracuse, Italy."

Parr, wait a second, Roadblock wanted me to find out more about them…Wait a second, I already met him earlier1 Ted thought.

"You mean Bob, you're co-worker?" Ted asked.

"Yeah." Paige replied, "He really helped us with this asshole landlord last week."

"Oh really?" Ted asked, "Tell me all about it."

"I'll tell you at dinner." Paige replied, "It isn't Quake, but it's this Italian place Phoebe recommended."

"Must be nice to have a big sister who's an advice columnist." Ted quipped.

"Will you idiots shut up!" Phoebe shouted, "The less I know about your expeditions to bug Elder Gideon and Natalie, the happier I am!"

"Except when she has coyote problems." Paige replied.

"Sounds exactly like Lance and his Coyote issues." Ted replied.

"How is Lance holding up?" Paige asked.

"Metal Muscles is really pushing his buttons some more. He and Kitty are still in the great love triangle." Ted replied.

"It sounds like she can't decide." Paige replied.

"Yeah." Ted replied.

"I wonder what normal couples talk about on dates." Paige commented as Ted started up his truck.

"Hey, normal is a setting on a washing machine, as far as I'm concerned." Ted replied.

"So any pointers on rock climbing?" Paige asked, "After all, we are visiting that climbing gym after dinner."

"Well, just improvise and explore." Ted replied, "I'll have a firm hold of you on the belaying line. I think it's neat you wanted to try one of my hobbies."

"You were good enough to hold still for that portrait I wanted to do of you last time, it's only fair." Paige replied.

"Well," Ted replied, as he parked outside of the restaurant, closed his door and helped Paige out of the passenger side door, "what kind of clod would I be if I dragged you places I wanted to go and you didn't?"

"We probably wouldn't still be dating if you were a clod." Paige replied.

"That painting isn't going to see the light of day, is it?" Ted asked.

Paige smiled, "But I thought that you looked so fetching in that Roman gladiator outfit."

"I looked like an escapee from one of Arcade, Ted, and Kurt's insane little role-playing games." Ted replied.

"Oh whatever, the Coliseum painting was wonderful." Paige replied.

"It had better not see the light of day." Ted replied.

"It really showed off your legs." Paige replied.

"It was hideous." Ted replied.

Paige fixed him with a mock pout, before they kissed and went into the restaurant, "We'd better hurry before our reservation expires…"

TBC

1 See Relocated chapter 4, in the Incredibles section.