Author/Banshee Queen: "First of all, let me say SORRY! Sorry this last chapter took so long to come out- but what with school back on and all that, it's been hectic. Secondly, thank you to everyone who reviewed!
MiniMalfoy101, SensiblyTainted, Joou Himeko Dah, Bewitched by Potter, sokerfreek922, Esteem, immortalwizardpirateelf-fan, Jenna, Histswot, xxsummerlove14x3, and JaggerK- thank you for reviewing, I've kept your reviews in mind whilst writing this last chapter, and its pushed me to wanna'get this chapter out quicker. Also, to Belinda and Maree, (huggles the hell outta' them) –a big big thank you for reading this in Modern History and extremely, enthusiastically, encouraging me to keep on with this fic when we all should've been studying! Lol.
So without further ado, I present the last and final chapter of 'Daytime T.V Sucks Dude'. Enjoy!" :D
Disclaimer: "I don't own Supernatural but I sure as hell own this story!"
Chapter 4: "Daytime T.V Sucks Dude"
A few hours had passed before Dean came to, and even then it was a painful experience. The older Winchester groaned painfully as he lay on the carpeted floor. Every single part of his body seemed to ache, especially his back and crotch.
Little bastard. Dean thought as he willed himself to sit up.
A loud groan escaped his lips which caused Sam to stir, murmuring something as he turned his head in Dean's direction and slowly opened his eyes.
"What time is it?" He asked hoarsely.
Dean twisted his wrist and looked at his watch; "8:21pm."
"Shit", breathed Sam attempting to sit up. "Argh", the younger Winchester grunted as he tried again.
"No, don't move Sammy", said Dean worriedly, scooting over quickly and ignoring his own pain.
"It's Sam", the younger Winchester growled as he looked up at Dean who was tenderly checking his cut, "and what do you care anyway?"
"Like it or not Sammy, I'm still your older brother and I care for you regardless of anything you have ever said or done or could say and do that would ever hurt me."
Sam continued to stare up at his brother in defiance but after seeing the startlingly soft look in Dean's hazel eyes, he felt his own watering slightly.
"This is a pretty nasty looking cut you got on your little head here dude", Sam grinned broadly, "got any idea where you got it from?"
"Think I might've been knocked around a little", Sam replied still grinning widely, "but I'll be alright."
An amused grin lit up Dean's face as he gently wiped the blood off Sam's forehead with the bottom of his T-shirt.
"Hey Dean", began Sam after a moment.
"Yeah?" He replied, without looking down from what he was doing.
"I'm sorry for all of this. I didn't mean to hurt you so bad."
The older Winchester's fingers briefly halted, and he looked down at his little brother with such compassion that Sam had never before seen in his eyes, that he felt his heart miss a beat.
"I'm sorry too Sammy", Dean whispered softly.
"Truce?"
"Tru-
But before Dean could finish his sentence, the front door opened with a noisy creak and in stepped John Winchester. The duffel bag on his shoulder dropped to the floor with a loud THUD! And then the two brother's were left under their father's searing gaze.
It took a couple of seconds for John Winchester's eyes to take in the mayhem which littered every inch of the small lounge room and then he immediately averted his gaze to Dean who swallowed nervously.
"Dean…", it seemed to the older Winchester like a lifetime when his father paused before he began again, "…what happened?"
The older Winchester swallowed nervously again. His dad was pissed alright, and the reason he could tell that was by the way he calmly asked the question.
"Ummm…well…I…uhhh…you see…Sam knows, don't you Sam?" Dean said suddenly, clapping his brother on the back which elicited a deep growl from his lips.
Sam looked at his brother, wide eyes filled with horror, but Dean just shrugged sheepishly.
"I swear to God I am gonna' kick your ass later", hissed Sam under his breath.
"Sam?" Questioned John folding his arms irritably, the leather of his jacket creaking, "I want an answer and I don't care if I have to wrench it free."
"Oh what, you're gonna' kick my ass again?" Hissed Dean under his breath with a quick urgency, "s'not like you haven't just done that Sammy!"
"Shut up!" The younger Winchester hissed back, "I will kick your ass later Dean and that's a promise!"
"Oooooh I'm so scared I think I just wet myself Sammy!" Dean taunted, holding up both hands as if to ward his younger brother off.
"Dean!" Yelled John crossly.
But although their father stood in the doorway of the house reeking of anger at the fact that both of his sons lay on the living room floor battered and bruised, hissing petty threats to one another and having the audacity to at the same time ignore his mere presence, both the Winchester brother's continued their feeble quarrel on who was going to inflict the greater amount of pain on the other.
"Yeah you better be Dean because when I come down on you next, it'll be like a goddamn tonne of bricks! Or better yet…", a freakishly evil grin creased Sam's innocent features, "a window sill."
"Oh no you don't you little bitch!" Hissed Dean quickly and pointing his finger at Sam like a pistol, "This fight hasn't even begun yet! This is just Round 1, you just wait, I am gonna' make your life hell for the next oh- thousand years!"
"We're not even gonna' live to be a thousand you idiot!"
"Says who?"
"Me!"
"As if I'd listen to anything you'd say!"
"Well no wonder the dinosaurs died out."
"What?" Questioned Dean confusedly, "That doesn't even make any sense!"
"Dean even they couldn't stand to look at your ugly mug", the older Winchester- along with their father who was looking both surprised and pleased at Sam's defense- raised his eyebrows at his younger brother's comment, "so when they saw that comet coming straight for em' they saw it as a God-send."
The older Winchester gritted his teeth harshly, "Sammy I swear-
"You'll what? Strangle me to near death until I can't tell the difference between the fading light of the day turning into night- or the dark spots clouding my vision before I black out completely?"
"WHAT!" Questioned John so raucously both the Winchester brothers jumped. "Is this true Dean?"
Dean lay on the floor, mouth silently imitating a gasping fish as he fought to justify himself.
"I…I…"
"Is this true?" John repeated firmly, in one large stride reaching Sam and thoroughly examining his neck once he helped him to his feet.
Dean sighed audibly, "Yes…"
"Look at these marks on your brother's neck!" John shouted at full volume, pointing to five red-raw lines wrapped around Sam's neck, "you could've suffocated him Dean! You could've killed him!"
"That was the whole point", muttered Dean as he got to his feet.
"What did you just say?" Queried John as he released his hold on Sam and stalked towards his eldest son.
"You heard me!" Dean replied angrily, the veins in his neck beginning to surface, "I strangled the life out of him because he nearly broke my friggin' back in two!"
After saying those words, Dean lifted up his shirt and turned around, revealing his back to John, who stood in disbelief as his eyes travelled over the thick bands of red marking his eldest son's back.
"Did you do this?" Questioned John as he spun around to face Sam.
The youngest Winchester shifted his feet nervously before visibly hunching his shoulders and sighing, "Yes Sir", Sam answered meekly.
"Sammy, what were you thinking?" John began in a softer tone, "And how exactly did those marks appear on your brother's back?"
"I-
"Oh this is bullshit!" Dean bellowed at the top of his voice. "You're babying him right before my eyes and acting like I just cut of his head!"
"Because you nearly did!" Retaliated his father and brother in unison.
"Well what about what he did to me? I can't believe you're taking his side dad!"
"Dean", John began, unhurriedly walking up towards his eldest son and staring him straight in the eye, "if I'm harder on you it's because you're the eldest and I depend on you."
Yep, that stone hard stare and deep, gravel-like commanding voice John Winchester was well-known for was back, and that's when both the Winchester boys knew it was time to stop dicking-around.
"You know you can't just leave Sammy here on his own", continued their father, gesturing towards Sam standing to his right.
"I'm sixteen years old dad, I can take care of myself", Sam commented angrily.
"You're not an adult yet Sam", John said turning to face his youngest son, "and you", the eldest Winchester turned back to his oldest son, "you should know better."
Dean merely shifted his resting weight onto the other foot and looked down at the ring on his left hand while Sam's hazel eyes innocently roved about the room, at the same time scratching his head to busy himself with the awkward silence. John ran a hand wearily over his face and sighed audibly, sinking deeper into the worn cushions of the couch.
"Now…", John started slowly, looking around the room in disbelief at the mayhem, "could one of you please explain to me how this room came to be in an otherwise state than which I left it in?"
Both Dean and Sam sidled a quick knowing glance at one another before averting their eyes back to their father's questioning gaze.
"Boys…", John's dark eyes flickered back and forth between his two sons, "Dean talk."
The older Winchester groaned but after a stern look from his father, hurriedly began the story.
"Well, me and Sam were bored out of our brains and finding nothing else to do, Sam suggested we watch some daytime T.V."
"Daytime T.V?" John's eyebrow quirked.
"It's just a phrase Dean uses", Sam answered.
Dean nodded vigorously, "Anyway, we were watching T.V when this Sesame St commercial came on and I commented on how they reminded me of Teletubbies."
"Teletubbies?" Again John's eyebrow's quirked.
"Just imagine fatter, scarier, cherub-voiced, drug induced, more colourful versions of Jim Henson's workshops dad, and that'll equal a Teletubbie", Dean said, scrubbing a hand through his thin sandy blonde hair.
"Okay, go on", the elder Winchester waved on his son, a perplexed expression painted on his face.
"So then me and Sammy got talking, and I concluded that Sammy had a fear of Teletubbies because he said they were 'creepy', right Sam?"
The younger Winchester nodded ever so vigorously and innocently, hoping to God his father wouldn't erupt when he found out what the real reason was behind all the turmoil littering the living room floor.
"And so then I recalled a certain memory of Sammy which I don't care to retell nor does Sam care to relive, right Sammy?"
The younger Winchester's face had paled in the space of ten seconds, and this time around he nodded so quickly, John thought he had caught a glimpse of…dread? And strangely enough…humiliation. What could make Sammy so pale with fear? The elder Winchester passed his hawk-like gaze over to his eldest son.
Dean.
He knew that Dean knew more than he let on. It had always been that way between the two brothers. He had always been that way. Secretive, and damn good at keeping a secret, especially if it was Sammy's, and this too was no different.
"So then after Sam told me a certain story which I'm sure he does not care to retell, I provoked him to point the finger at me, saying that I had a fear of Teletubbies which of course I denied. But then right at that moment an add came on with a bunch of those colourful little freaks dancing around the place…and that's when we had a little squabble to turn off the T.V."
"And that's how the place came to look like this then huh boys?" John casually concluded, folding his arms and propping his feet up on the still-over-turned coffee table.
"Well not exactly", said Sam slowly, "I accused Dean of 'yelping' to which he obviously denied at first…", Sam shot his older brother a quick glare, "then admitted to a second later." A triumphant smile reached Sam's lips.
"I will kick your ass later Sammy", growled Dean, under his breath.
"ANYWAY", Sam began again, overriding his brother's comment loudly, "Dean provoked me by calling me Sammy, which you know I hate-
"Sammy", Dean sang sweetly, hands clasped and pressed against his heart while he batted his eyelashes as girly-like as possible.
The younger Winchester merely grumbled something inaudible and continued with their story, "So then Dean provoked me, and, well…I grabbed his head and slammed it down on the coffee table real hard…", Sam ended quietly.
Both brother's were expecting to cop an ear-lashing but instead their father squeezed his eyes shut tight and winced inwardly.
"How bout' you just continue on with the story and I'll stop you when I see fit?" Both Dean and Sam looked mutely at their father. "Go on", he waved.
"Then Dean dive tackled me into the wall over there and scored me a cut from that glass framed painting." Sam gestured.
"-Which in turn caused Sam to whammy one on me good", Dean enthusiastically pointed to the bruise forming around his left eye.
"After that I got a vase thrown at my head. It smashed of course, but hey I'm still walking!" Sam grinned.
"So then Sammy picked up that stand lamp over there", Dean pointed to his left on the floor, "and hit me in the gut. Goddamn that hurt by the way Sam." Dean rubbed his stomach for emphasis tenderly.
"Yeah, it was a pretty good shot huh?" Grinned the younger Winchester at his older brother.
What…in…the…hell…happened? The voice in John's head screamed. I leave them for fourteen hours alone and then all hell breaks loose?
The elder Winchester gazed at his two sons as if stunned with an electric prod. Five minutes ago they were threatening to kill each other and volleying insult after insult at one another, and now they were congratulating each other on how good an injury they had inflicted on the other.
"…and then before I knew it Sammy had brought down the lamp on my nose, and I ended up with a broken nose", continued Dean, unaware of his father' utter confusion and sudden interest with where the conversation was going.
"Yeah but then Dean grabbed it off me and broke my nose!"
"He he he, I bet that was a shocker huh?" Dean laughed so casually John thought he might have a heart attack right then and there.
With all the supernatural creatures and phenomenon's they'd seen so far in their short lives, John thought they would've needed counseling or therapy for years on end of some sort, but strangely, nothing of the like phased them- but now a small thing like beating your brother to near death was amusing to them, and John was beginning to become a little more than slightly worried.
"But then Sam scissor-kicked me to the chest and got me on the ground, which earned me repeated kicks to the gut, not to mention my kidney. And then- Sam did the weirdest thing-
God help me, I've ruined these boys.
"…and bent me over a windowsill and stood behind me. And then this old man with a corgi-
"HE WHAT?"
John roared so loudly and leapt so quickly from his spot on the couch, both the Winchester brothers flinched in fear.
"Dad, it is soooooooooo not what you think it is-
"Just what the hell is it then Dean!" John roared.
"It's how I got this!" Dean yelled, turning around and lifting up his shirt to show the thick red bands marking his back.
John's dark eyes flickered to the windowsill and put two and two together…the elder Winchester breathed a sigh of relief but eyed Sam wearily, as if trying to 'sound him out' visually. As soon as their father turned his back to return to his place on the couch, Sam mouthed a desperate 'thank you' to his smiling-forgiving brother and let him continue on with the story.
"Anyway dad, that's when I hit the bull's eye with the good old kick to the balls."
"Mmm-hmm, and that's when I hit him in the kneecap with the lamp-
"Yeah but that's when I dragged him over to the T.V and choked the living daylight outta' him with the T.V cord-
"And that's how I got these", said Sam, tilting his jaw upwards to show the red marks on his neck.
They were talking so fast and cutting off each other's sentences, John was beginning to think they were getting excited over the whole ordeal.
"…kicked me in the balls though."
"Yeah I figured it was only fair", Sam stated imperturbably.
John continued to listen with confounded curiosity, every now and again wincing inwardly as both Dean and Sam grinned at one another or laughed at the injuries now marring their bodies. Another fifteen minutes had gone by before Sam concluded with a grin; "And then we just fell asleep I guess."
The elder Winchester sat inert for a moment of silence which seemed like an eternity to the two brothers, eyes closed, one hand resting lightly on his brow, the other gripping the armrest of the couch resolutely. To both Dean and Sam it looked as if their father was staring at the carpet determinedly, as if in a trance, but when those dark eyes flickered upwards to meet theirs, they knew they had a battle on their hands.
"So…", John visibly swallowed, slowly getting to his feet, "…so you mean to tell me that this little near death experience of yours was started all because of a Teletubbie commercial?"
This time it was the boys' turn to swallow visibly, and Sam immediately began unconsciously clenching and flexing his right hand.
"Dad, it wasn't just a-
"You'll speak when I tell you to", John stated, silencing Dean by directing a finger at him. "You turned this living room upside down, let all hell break loose for God-sake's, all for the sake of a stupid commercial and because you wouldn't admit to Sam you had a fear of Teletubbies Dean? I mean, I don't even know what the things are and already I'm starting to hate em'."
"I can't believe this! You're blaming this on me? I'm the older brother here!" Dean retorted, scandalized.
"Exactly Dean!" The elder Winchester shouted, eyes alight with irritation and disappointment. "The older brother, which means you're in charge and you're supposed to be the responsible one. Do you remember what I told you when I left the house this morning Dean?"
"I do", piped up an innocent voice.
Samuel Winchester, for all his adorable worth on the planet- had suddenly incurred the fiery glare his father now aimed at him- shrank back in fear of receiving his own well-deserved-earful.
"And Sam…", John began, raising an eyebrow in query, "what in the hell possessed you to provoke Dean in the first place?"
"He-paid-me-out-about-not-being-able-to-get-a-girlfriend!" The sentence flew out of Sam's mouth so fast- and so unexpectedly did he expect for himself to say anything of the sort- that the younger Winchester instantly clapped a hand over his gaping mouth.
Their father stood for a moment with his hands in his pockets, staring at the embarrassed look on Sam's face, before he shook his head. "Whatever the issue is, that can stay between you boys." John averted his gaze back to Dean, "But that still doesn't change the fact that you haven't told me what caused this in the first place Dean."
"We just told you!" The older Winchester blurted out, disbelievingly.
John raised one thick eyebrow, "So you're saying that you were sitting watching T.V, and then a commercial which reminded you of Teletubbies Dean, caused you to tell Sammy that you hated them, and then that in turn caused Sammy to tell you they were 'creepy, and then you somehow managed to unearth some big secret about Sam not being able to get a girlfriend? Is that what you're saying Dean?"
The affirmative nod from his oldest son, followed by a strict; "Yes Sir", was enough to make John wanna' pull out all his hair.
"And so then after that, you 'paid Sammy out' which caused him to threaten you, then punch you, and then that's how…", John momentarily paused, looking around the room at all the mess, "…all of this happened?"
"Pretty much, yeah", both brother's answered in unison.
Raking a hand through his hair, John exhaled deeply, "Boys…"
Oh God, I'm gonna' die…
Sam trembled visibly, fighting the nerves in his hands to keep stock-still.
We're screwed! The voice in Dean's head whined, Well…I'm screwed.
"…Of all the lowly excuses you've ever given me in your lives, this would have to the worst, and by far the most unbelievable", John threw the last comment at Dean who frowned in annoyance, "and what's worse Dean, is the fact that you ignored every single word of command I gave you this morning. Do you remember what I told you when I left the house this morning Dean?" John repeated forcibly.
The older Winchester sighed irritably, "Don't do anything stupid. Stay here", Dean dragged on the sentence irritably, "Do not for any reason open this door unlessthe devil himself knocks", John nodded in approval, "Watch him", the emphasis Dean put on the last statement made Sam glare at him angrily, "and above all, keep this house in one piece."
At the last statement, the elder and youngest Winchester half mumbled, half groaned the rest of the sentence out with Dean.
"Dean."
"Yes?"
"Did you follow my orders?"
"No Sir."
"So what do you think would be the best form of punishment for disobeying me?"
The older Winchester growled menacingly under his breath, even shooting Sam a nippy glare before answering his father's query.
"I don't know Sir."
"Each morning for the next month, the two of you will rise before four am and do laps around the house or motel, until six am or until I see fit to tell you to stop. If you have any plans of disobeying me…", John turned to face Dean, "Dean you will be on bathroom duty, and Sam", the elder Winchester turned to face his youngest son, "you will be coming on more hunts with me", the look Dean shot Sam could've curdled milk, "and that's only the first task of your punishment."
"Well what's the second?" Dean questioned in slight apprehension and interest.
"You're both going to clean this lounge room until it appears the way it was when we first arrived here", both the Winchester boys suppressed a guttural groan, "and for compensation of the broken vase and glass frame, I'll be takin' a hundred bucks outta' your' accounts."
"What?" Cried Dean, stamping one foot on the carpeted floor, "That's hard earned money dad!"
"Yeah, if you call 'Poker', 'hard earned money' Dean", laughed Sam as he crossed his arms leisurely.
The fact that their father knew that Dean gambled his money away- and won a lot of it back and more- and didn't even bat an eyelid still dismayed Sam even now.
"I don't believe this shit", the older Winchester cursed under his breath.
"It's comin' outta' your account Dean, and that's final." John stated sternly, "And I want you boys to apologize to each other."
"What? Why?" Dean questioned, puzzled.
"Because it's what normal people do when they've just had an argument Dean", John sighed, crossing his arms across his chest firmly.
"We're not normal people dad", Sam said seriously, pausing, "well at least I know that Dean isn't."
"Shut up", the older Winchester muttered.
"I don't hear an apology", John sang, shooting expectant looks between the two brothers.
Drooping his shoulders, Sam sighed heavily, "I'm sorry I said you had a fear of Teletubbies Dean."
Dean couldn't help but openly smirk as the last two words fell from Sam's lips, and he practically laughed out; "I'm sorry I said you weren't capable of getting a girlfriend Sammy, but by God you need my expertise help!"
The older Winchester doubled over, clutching his stomach as he cackled away like a madman.
"Ha ha, very funny Dean", Sam's shaggy head of hair jiggled as he shook his head in incredulity.
Minutes containing Dean's echoing laughter passed before both brother's straightened at the sight of their father's neutral gaze on their forms.
"Now hug", commanded John, folding his arms firmly.
"WHAT?" Both Dean and Sam cried in unity, eyes bulging out of their sockets at the oddest order their father had ever bestowed upon them.
"You heard me", said John calmly, an almost non-existent smile just barely touching his lips, "hug boys."
"Dad I am not-
Dean never got to finish his sentence before his father interrupted.
"Dean I'm giving you an order, and in this you will not disobey me."
The older Winchester pouted in disgust at his father, but John's severe frown could not be removed from his heavy features, and before long Dean threw his hands up in the air and gave in. Sam however, had firmly crossed his arms and looked Dean up and down as if he wanted to spit on his brother.
"I'm not touchin' that", Sam stated matter-of-factly to John.
"Sam, this is the third punishment-
"You're damn right it's a punishment", Dean began interrupting his father in mid-sentence, "it's the worse kind there is!"
"Dean, stop overreacting, it's just a hug", Sam scolded, clearly fed up with the whole issue by now and just wanting it to be over and done with.
"Oh my God", breathed Dean, eyes widening as he stepped backwards, "you are gay!"
"Dean!"
"DEAN!"
"WHAT?" The older Winchester shouted as he swung his gaze to his right, facing his father.
"How goddamned hard is it for you to comprehend one order I give you and carry it out without insulting your brother or making a joke out of it?" John roared, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Look, no disrespect dad, but this has to be by far the weirdest order you've ever given us." Dean said calmly.
John however, turning his head left to look at Sam, frowned once his youngest son turned his head the other way and began humming inconspicuously.
"Boys…", the elder Winchester sighed audibly.
"Fine! I'll hug him already." Dean said as he marched up to Sam.
However, upon reaching his younger brother, Dean halted, and both brothers stood staring at one another strangely, as if the other had a strange unexplainable sickness, and it was contagious. Without a word Sam launched himself at his brother's dismayed form, and wrapped his arms so reassuringly around his brother's back that Dean couldn't help but do the same. The two stood there, for once in their life finding comfort in each other's presence and arms. Affection was a foreign word and notion to them, and even when there had been situations in the past which had nearly seen the other killed before their eyes, any word of console or gesture of affection was scarcely seen through. John, watching the scene before him, smiled contentedly as he hadn't done in years.
The elder Winchester quietly exited the room, that satisfied smile still curling his lips.
A few minutes passed before Dean's muffled complaint echoed in Sam's right ear, "Okay, I'm starting to feel really gay now."
"Wow you really know how to ruin the moment, don't you?" Laughed Sam, tucking his hands into his pockets.
"Yeah, but I just don't wanna' get any closer to you than I have to Sammy", Dean grinned.
"Hey Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"You didn't really admit to dad that you were scared of Teletubbies, did you?"
"No, but then neither did you Sammy."
"Yeah so?"
"So? It means I'm better than you."
"No it doesn't. And that doesn't even make any sense."
"Yes it does. But at least we know one thing."
"What?"
"Daytime T.V sucks dude."
"No it doesn't", Sam sighed, following his brother as he made his way towards the kitchen.
"Yes it does. And you're still gay."
"Dean!"
"Gay, gay, gay, gay- Owwww!"
At the sound of two heavy objects falling to the ground, John poked his head round the corner and watched as Sam, sitting on Dean's back, proceeded to tickle the hell out of him. The older Winchester immediately bucked his brother off and sent him tumbling across the floor, the two of the them rolling around in the mayhem they had created once Dean reached Sam.
"Cheater! Nipple cripple doesn't count!"
"Up yours Sam! Since when did you start playing fair?"
John watched on in amusement as they continued to playfully wrestle each other to a pulp, wincing every so often at the accidental touch of a cut or kick to the ribs.
"Oww, watch the cut!"
"Sorry Sammy."
"You were the one who put it there!"
"You made m- AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH GODDAMIT SAM! These are family jewels!"
"Not no more they aren't."
"You little bitch…"
John simply chuckled happily and shook his head, leaving the two brothers to their own devices.
Author/Banshee Queen: "Please review my pretties!"