Disclaimer: Don't own 'em or make money from 'em. Though I'd pay for a night with Hugh Laurie... Rawr.
Chapter Twenty Four
As April rolled around and the wedding got closer, Cameron became Super Bitch. House was tempted to make a superhero just for her. Super Bitch: can wither a man's erection with a single look. Though he enjoyed watching her bitch out Chase; it was a truly beautiful sight.
They were sitting in the diagnostics room, waiting for some lab results on their current patient when Chase turned to Cameron, who was hunched over five different types of invitations and trying to decide which one she liked best. "So … how's the planning coming along?" he asked her.
House had been getting a cup of coffee and turned to watch them, blowing on the coffee to cool it.
"It's … coming along," she answered absently, holding up two invitations and glaring at them. "What the hell is the difference?"
House looked closely at them and took a sip of his coffee. "One has little flowers on it. I don't want flowers."
She tossed the flowered invitation in the trash and looked at the remaining four. "This is ridiculous. We should have hired a planner."
"I know a woman…" Chase offered.
Cameron's gaze moved to Chase. "Well it's too late now," she said slowly, speaking as she might to a toddler. "The wedding is in three months and I'm over halfway done with all of the planning myself."
"I was just offering," he grumped back.
"Don't get pissy with me," she snapped. "I'm too irritated right now to deal with your pissy attitude."
"I wasn't-"
"Why don't you go condition your hair or something?" Cameron asked snidely. "It's looking a bit dry."
"Did you just insult his hair?" House laughed, setting his coffee cup down. "You just insulted Chase's hair."
"I'll insult your pride if you don't watch it," she snapped at House. "Weddings shouldn't be stressful! This is stupid!"
"Haven't you done this before?" Foreman asked upon entering the room.
"Dean and I had hired a planner!"
House's brow furrowed thoughtfully. "Why didn't we hire a planner?" he asked curiously.
"You didn't want to," Cameron said through gritted teeth. "And now I'm stuck doing all of this damned work while you lounge on the couch every goddamned night."
"Kitty has claws," House replied with a smirk. "Every time I give you an idea, you say it isn't right. Hence me sitting on the couch." He normally would be very reluctant to have this conversation in front of Chase and Foreman. However, he knew that Chase would say something and get bitched out by Cameron again. So he stayed here for the ride.
"You could continue to put in suggestions," Chase said matter-of-factly.
"I'm sorry, am I marrying you?" Cameron asked Chase irritably. "No. I'm not. So please keep the commentary to yourself."
"Aww… She said 'please' to you." House went behind Cameron and set a hand on her shoulder. He looked at the invitations and pointed to a baby blue one with small, white patterns around the outside. "I like that invitation."
Cameron threw the other three away.
He glanced at the caterers' cards that she'd laid out and pointed to two of them. "They had the best food, if I remember." He picked one of the cards up and studied it. "Were they the ones with the really good mashed potatoes?"
Cameron nodded, swallowing back tears. She'd been so frustrated with all of this that she hadn't really bothered to ask for his help very much. He'd never complained about it, and when she had asked for his input, he always said it was up to her. It drove her nuts, but she'd never told him that.
He set the card back down on the table. "We should get them, then. Everyone else had morbidly mediocre mashed potatoes." He looked at Foreman and Chase. "See that? I used alliteration to lighten the mood. I'm cool."
Chase and Foreman looked on in awe. House had, apparently, been paying attention the entire time Cameron had been looking at things for the wedding. He just hadn't bothered to let her know.
"And the cake?" Cameron asked quietly.
"I didn't really care for any of the places we've tried. Let's look some more."
She nodded slowly and put the caterer's card and the invitation in her bag before folding her hands and sitting quietly at the table.
Foreman frowned and stared at Cameron. Something was wrong… Something had to be wrong. "You … okay?" he asked hesitantly.
"Fine," she replied with a small smile. She stood and left the department without another word to any of the men.
Foreman, House, and Chase all exchanged worried looks. "I'm in for a major scream-fest, aren't I?" House asked his employees.
"Definitely," Foreman said.
"Without a doubt," Chase chimed in, speaking in unison with Foreman.
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Cameron stood at the bathroom sink, wiping her eyes as she cried. This was so idiotic. Why was she even crying! House had done what she'd wanted him to do all along: he'd made a choice instead of leaving it to her. So why was she so upset about it? Oh, right… Because he'd made a complete ass of her in the process.
She looked up from the sink as someone walked in. It was Cuddy, and Cameron sniffled and gave a small smile when the older woman rushed to her side. "What happened?" she demanded. "What did House do?"
Cameron laughed slightly and wiped at her eyes again. "Nothing," she said with a sniffle. "I'm just overreacting again."
In a surprising show of motherly qualities, Cuddy wrapped her arms around Cameron and let the younger woman cry on her shoulder. "What's it about?" she asked gently.
"The wedding," Cameron sniffed, new tears springing to her eyes.
"What about the wedding?" Cuddy asked gently, stroking Cameron's hair.
"Stupid decisions… Greg…"
"What happened?"
"He's so frustrating! I tried to get him to make a decision and he wouldn't, so I'd make them, and now that I'm getting frustrated, he just stepped right in and made them! And it would be okay, but he did it in front of Foreman and Chase and now I feel like a complete moron for getting so flustered about a stupid invitation!" Cameron sobbed out. "This is stupid!"
"You're allowed to be upset," Cuddy said softly, continuing to stroke Cameron's hair in an attempt to calm her. "It's your wedding and you want it to be perfect. He shouldn't have made the decisions in front of your coworkers."
"I hate being like this!" Cameron exclaimed, pulling away from Cuddy and wiping her eyes. Cuddy went into a stall and grabbed some toilet paper, handing it to Cameron. "I just want to have a perfect wedding and I want a baby. Cuddy, I want a baby. Like … right now." She blew her nose and threw out the toilet paper before washing her hands, despite the fact that she'd only have to wash them again later.
Cuddy smiled and rubbed Cameron's back. "Don't rush it," she said soothingly. "I'm sure you and House have enough sex to conceive in no time," she teased.
Cameron laughed, wiping at her eyes once more. "You'd think that! But it just isn't happening. And I want it to happen so badly…"
"You have plenty of time," Cuddy reminded her soothingly. "Don't stress yourself out over it. And if you still can't conceive within two months after the wedding, I'll even give you the name of my fertility doctor."
"Really?" Cameron sniffled with a hopeful look.
"Definitely." She handed the young woman some more toilet paper. "Okay now?"
Cameron nodded and blew her nose once more, throwing away the soiled paper and washing her hands again. "Thanks."
"Any time." She studied Cameron in the mirror and smiled. "You just let me know if I have to come in and smack House around a bit."
Cameron laughed. "I'll be sure to do that." She nodded to Cuddy's stomach, which was only barely swelling with her fourth month of pregnancy. "How's everything coming along?" she asked.
"Wonderfully," Cuddy answered with a joyful smile. "Ever since the morning sickness has passed, it's been smooth sailing. I've never felt healthier."
"Despite the Big Macs?" Cameron teased.
"Despite the Big Macs," Cuddy confirmed with a grin. "I'm having a shower, you know. Late August. You should come."
"Let me know the date. I'll be there," she answered with a bright smile. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. You should be there. After all, if it weren't for you, this hospital might have burned to the ground by now." Cuddy smiled when Cameron laughed and shooed her out the door. "Go on. Get back to work."
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"Where'd you go?" The question was asked by Foreman and met her as soon as she returned to diagnostics.
"I needed a walk," she said with a shrug. "I got frustrated and I just needed to get away from it for a bit."
"Is the 'it' in this statement your wedding plans or House?"
Cameron smiled. "Both." She looked around the department and didn't see House or Chase. "Where are the other two?" she asked curiously.
"Chase went to grab up the test results and House … just kind of left. I think he went to talk to Wilson."
"Probably." She sat down and opened up her laptop, putting on her glasses and logging onto the internet to check medical tomes for their current patient's symptoms.
"You seem really upset with this wedding stuff, Cameron," Foreman stated, genuinely concerned about his coworker's well-being. "Are you sure you should be planning by yourself?"
Cameron sighed and took off her glasses. "It's not…" She wasn't sure how to phrase what she was trying to say. "I'm not really doing it on my own. He does help…"
"Just not as much as he should?"
"Playing the role of big brother again, Foreman?"
"I'm good at it." He sipped at his coffee and leaned against the wall behind him. "Come on. Give me a reason to steal his cane and beat him with it."
Cameron laughed. "People are lining up to beat him for me. I don't know if I should be insulted or amused." She set her glasses down on the table and sat back in her chair, folding her hands together over her stomach. "He isn't as bad as you guys keep thinking. He really does help with some of the planning. It just gets frustrating when he tells me that the choice is mine and won't say anything beyond that."
Foreman grinned. "And do you press him to say anything beyond that?"
Cameron glared. "Don't you have a car to steal?"
With a snort, Foreman set his coffee cup down. "He's rubbing off on you."
"I suppose it's inevitable since I do live with him. And since we're engaged. And since we have copious amounts of sex." She laughed when Foreman gave her a disturbed look. "Oh, sorry… Too much information there?"
"Yeah, a bit."
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When they got home that evening, House and Cameron settled on the couch to watch a movie. The patient was stable and responding to treatment and should be discharged tomorrow. 'Should' being the operative word.
Cameron leaned lightly into House's side, not minding in the slightest when he rested his arm around her shoulders. They'd discussed (argued) the situation with the invitations, caterer, and cake and he'd promised (after a threat of abstaining from all sexual activity until the wedding) to give more input at home so that they didn't have a repeat performance in the office.
As she zoned in front of the television, Cameron's eyes started to droop. House noticed and smirked, giving her a nudge to wake her up. She twitched and glared at him. "What was that for?"
"It's not even ten," he said, nodding to the clock. "You go to sleep before ten and you'll wake up at four and keep me up all morning." He grinned at her and whispered in her ear, "I could keep you awake…"
She made a noncommittal sound and sat up, stretching. "This movie is dead boring," she stated honestly. "Whose idea was this?"
"Yours. You wanted a romantic comedy, remember? I wanted to get Evil Dead, but you kept refusing."
Cameron cringed. "You and your scary movies… Ew."
He snorted and put his leg up. "You should learn to appreciate them," he told her. "It gives you cuddle time, Allison. What more could you want?"
"To spend the night with my face buried somewhere other than your chest. Maybe."
"You could always bury it in my-"
"I'm getting popcorn," she cut him off, setting a hand over his mouth to stop what she was sure would have been a very naughty comment. "Do you want anything?"
"I want to watch a horror movie," he pouted, nipping at her finger as she pulled her hand away from his mouth.
"Ugh. Fine," she conceded, going into the kitchen to make popcorn. "But no zombies and no creepy little girls crawling out of television sets."
"You take away all of my fun," he called to her, eyes scanning the many horror films that he owned. "You haven't seen The Shining, have you?"
"No…" She peeked into the living room as she waited for the popcorn to pop in the microwave. "Isn't that a Stephen King novel?"
"It's also a movie." He put the movie in and grabbed up the remote, leaving the DVD on the menu page as he waited for Cameron to come back with the popcorn.
"This had better not give me nightmares," she warned him, plopping down next to him and setting the popcorn in his lap.
"No worries. I'll keep you safe from the mean ol' ghosties."
She laughed and shoved him lightly as the movie started. "If I scream, you are not allowed to mock me. Got it?"
"I won't mock you," he promised, kissing her forehead. "And I promise to cover your eyes when the scary parts are coming up." He grinned as she relaxed into his arms. "I'll even spread my fingers so you can still peek through at the movie like you always do."
He kept to his promise, covering her eyes at the more intense parts of the movie. However, he couldn't help laughing when she screeched and jumped when Jack Nicholson started wielding an ax. This led to her slapping him and scolding him for laughing. He continued to laugh and grabbed her around the waist, settling her on his left leg and putting his chin on her shoulder.
"Are you done trying to abuse me?" he asked, mockingly wounded at her feeble attempts to harm him. He kept one arm around her waist and grabbed up the DVD remote with his free hand, turning off the movie.
"Only because you've trapped me," she pouted.
He dropped a kiss on her shoulder. "Have you picked a dress?"
"Not yet." She lay back so that her head was resting on the arm of the couch, keeping her back arched slightly so that it didn't lie on his leg. "I've been looking through all of these bridal magazines and none of the dresses look right."
"Get one custom-made," he suggested with a shrug.
"Greg, that'll run a fortune."
He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Did I say there was a budget?"
"I was planning on paying for the dress since you picked up the cost of the reception…"
"We'll go out on Saturday," he decided for her. "We'll go to that dress shop that's right off of Princeton's campus and talk to the seamstress. See what she can do."
"Greg…"
"Shush. I'm making decisions. Revel."
She laughed and brushed a kiss over his lips. "What if I don't like your decisions?"
"Too bad!" he exclaimed playfully. "You wanted me to make them, so I'm making them." He paused and studied her thoughtfully. "Hope you don't mind your bridesmaids wearing cammo."
"Oh, God…" she groaned, covering her face and laughing.
"And black roses. I think they rock. They'll be all over the place."
"Greg…"
"Oh! And I've decided that we should change the location. Forget The Laurie House. No, no… We're getting married at this small, seedy bar downtown."
Cameron continued to laugh uncontrollably.
"And did I tell you about the bikers!"