Ch. 2 Interlude- Entry from Hogwarts: A History entry #337,002 entitled "Faggs and Haggs"
Now you readers at home must be wondering "What does the clothes that he is wearing have to do with his emotions or better yet when did Harry start wearing designer clothes?" The answer of course is completely due to the "super secret" gay organization: Fools Aren't Gay Gryffindor Students or FAGGS. Ever since the year 1902 the FAGGS were dedicated to protecting the reputations of the gay Gryffindors. The world of the FAGGS was constantly under the "3 S's":subterfuge, scrutiny, and sabotage from all of the others houses especially those damn pansys the Hufflepuffs.
It was typically understood that Gryffindors and Slytherins were life long enemies but this was not the case in the gay underground of Hogwarts. The rivalry between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor started in 1926 when James Jameson the then Head Queen of FAGGS changed the motto from "No Gay Gryffindor Left Behind" to "We may be gay but at least we're no bloody Hufflepuffs." From that moment on HAGGS or Hufflepuffs Against Gay Gryffindor Students main goal in life was to make the FAGGS suffer. This usually entailed not inviting Gryffindors to the famous Hufflepuff Mixers, making snide comments about the gay Gryffindors, and most importantly no sex with Gryffindors.
You are probably wondering what all of this has to do with one Harry Potter, his state of dress, and his not so secret crush on Draco Malfoy. It is all very simple; it has to do with both Seamus Finnigan and the popularity of makeover TV shows. When Seamus Finnigan became head queen during his fifth year he promised that he would help improve the gay Gryffindor community by giving makeovers to any gay Gryffindor who needed one. With help from his crew of Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger he had already given 68 makeovers. Now he just needed his next victim, someone to be his lucky number 69.
Then inspiration struck in the form of one Olivia Turnplatt the new slogan writer for the HAGGS came out with the slogan, "We may be pansies but at least we don't dress like the love child between a manatee and a beached whale." That really hurt, Harry Potter may be the savior of the world but that did not give him the right to dress like he was some fashion reject from the planet Pluto or something. Especially when him dressing so poorly was hurting the reputations of all the FAGGS. Something needed to be done, it was time for a makeover.
Author's Note: I've been writing this chapter since Monday, which was my fourth slashversary. For those of you who don't know my slashversary is the anniversary of the day that I discovered slash fanfiction. The very first slash story I ever read was Checkmate by Naadi Moonfeather, which I recommend that you all read. It was just recently finished. So any way I promised myself that I would write every night until I at least finished a chapter.