Ch. 9 Conversations in the Night
After returning to Earth, Daniel and Sam had been shipped off to the infirmary. The two scientists were both sporting casts now. Jack had joked with her, telling her she really needed to stop with the head injuries. Then he'd poked more fun at her, saying this one didn't seem so bad; maybe she was getting as hard headed as he was. One day, he laughed, bumps on the head wouldn't even faze her. Daniel had gotten to leave, but because of Sam's concussion, Dr. Lam wanted her to stay overnight for observation.
Sam had been none too happy about that. She didn't want to be stuck in the infirmary. She wanted to be with Jack. Though, she had to concede Dr. Lam was right. Even though Jack had stayed with her until the good doctor ran him out, she'd slept most of the time.
She also hadn't been too pleased about Jack telling Teal'c about their relationship, but she had told Daniel. It would never be even though. He'd gotten to tell her father.
The next morning, she'd been released with orders to 'take it easy'. Sam had ended up at Jack's, along with her father and the rest of SG-1. They were helping him pack and ship the rest of his belongings. She and Daniel weren't much help at all, seeing as they only had three legs and three arms between them. However, Daniel could find some interesting ways to make his crutches at least somewhat useful.
When the task at hand had been completed, and Jack's house essentially empty, Teal'c and Daniel had gone back to base. Sam, Jack, and Jacob had returned to her home.
"I'm going to turn in, kiddo," Jacob said, leaning in to kiss his daughter. He sent a smile and nod in Jack's direction.
Sam glanced tiredly up at Jack. "I guess we should follow suit. Long day tomorrow." Tomorrow Jack was leaving.
"Yeah… I'm just gonna make myself at home," he replied, lifting his overnight bag for her to see.
"Okay. I'll be in the back," she told him, motioning towards her bedroom.
He nodded. "I'll be there in a minute."
Sam went into her room and pulled open her dresser drawer. She grabbed blue pajama bottoms and a white tank top and headed towards the bathroom. She changed, washed up, and brushed her teeth, the whole while thinking of the man in her living room.
Flinging the uncomfortable sling off of her arm, she crawled into bed. She sank into the mattress and heaved a sigh. The closer it got to his departure, the harder it was on her. His presence had been solid the last eight years. She couldn't even think of what it would be like without him. Luckily, she had Daniel and Teal'c by her side.
A tap on her doorframe startled Sam. She smiled when she saw Jack at her door, clad in an old Air Force shirt and sweat pants.
He padded over to her bed, sitting next to her. "Hey."
"Hey." Sam's gaze dropped from his.
Jack watched her closely, his eyes boring into her until she finally looked back up. "I'm sorry. It's just…"
"I know, Sam," he told her as he gazed into the depths of her sorrowful eyes. He hated to see her like this. "I wish things could be different."
She nodded in return. "I understand. I do. You're where you need to be, as am I. Good things come to those who wait, right?" She attempted a smile.
"Great things. You and I-we're going to be great. Just a while longer." Jack smoothed Sam's blonde locks away from her face.
She leaned into his touch. "Okay. I think I can handle that."
"Alright, then. Goodnight, Sam." He lightly kissed her cheek, lingering just for a moment. He didn't want to go. He knew the regs weren't a problem at the moment, but he was scared to start something he knew would just have to be put on hold indefinitely.
He waited for her to wish him goodnight as well, but it never came. He pulled back, perplexed.
"Jack…" she paused, then met his gaze. Her wide blue eyes got him every time.
"What?" he prodded softly.
"You shouldn't have to sleep on that couch… I mean, there's plenty of room here."
Jack stared. Sam Carter had asked him into her bed. Not to seduce him, of that he was sure. It was just something he never thought he'd get the chance to hear. He cleared his throat, one thing bothering him. "Um, your dad's in the next room."
Sam rolled her eyes at him. "We're not going to do anything. I just want to…I want to be with you tonight," she replied.
With the smallest perceptible nod, he motioned for her to scoot over. He wasn't exactly feeling awkward as he lifted the comforter; that was something they'd dealt with. There had been, and still were, times when they slipped into habit and called each other sir or Carter. That was to be expected. But the awkwardness of physical closeness didn't last long. So many years of working side by side had put them in many situations where they came into bodily contact. It was just the idea of being able to show affection openly that was foreign to them.
He brought the comforter around their waists, moving closer to Sam's warm body. He slipped his arm around her, pulling her to him and closing the gap between them. Sam wrapped her arm around his waist. Her breath fell softly on his neck, her injured arm cradled between them, resting lightly against his chest. Jack wasn't that surprised about how right it all felt; he'd expected it to feel this way.
"Tired?" he murmured, rubbing her back.
"Yeah," she replied sleepily.
"Go to sleep," he told her as he noticed her eyes drooping.
"Not yet." Jack felt her arm tighten around him. He understood.
"Don't worry about tomorrow. I'm here now. Get some shut eye, okay?"
Sam blinked, trying to stay awake. She knew what would happen. She'd fall asleep and then before she knew it, he'd be leaving. She didn't want to sleep quite yet.
"You know I love you."
Sam nodded at Jack's statement.
"Then please don't spend the night worrying. I can practically hear you thinking."
"I never stop thinking."
"Well, maybe you should. At least long enough for me to sleep," he teased.
"I'll try...I love you, too." Sam heaved a tired sigh, settling comfortably into Jack's embrace.
"I know. Night, Sam," he said, resting his chin on her head.
"Night."
Jack didn't know how long he lay there, focusing on Sam's breathing. There was something comforting about it. There always had been. Many times off world, when he couldn't sleep, he'd watch the steady rise and fall of his 2IC's upper body. Mostly it helped him fall asleep, but sometimes it did the exact opposite. When she'd roll over where he could see her, it would keep him up for hours. He never thought Daniel and Teal'c knew, but he would watch Sam and etch her every feature into his memory over and over again. She was beautiful, even more so when she was sleeping peacefully.
They had both been through so much the last eight years, enough to tear their friendship to shreds. Their relationship had always been complicated, but at that moment, without rank or rules, fears or doubts, nothing felt more perfect.
Sam woke, confused by her surroundings. She was in her bedroom in her bed…but she certainly wasn't alone. She shook her head, attempting to clear her sleep fogged brain. She winced as she did so, realizing how much her head hurt and the ache in her arm. While the swelling in both areas had gone down significantly, it still hurt. It was time for painkillers.
She moved to sit up, but strong arms tightened around her. Sam frowned, then a smile played lightly on her lips. He was still there.
Sam pried Jack's arms off of her, almost feeling guilty. She paused a moment to study him. He looked so serene and…content. She couldn't remember seeing him so at peace before, and to think she had something to do with it brought a flush to her cheeks. As much as she wanted to just stay right where she was, she was feeling rather lousy.
She made her way off the opposite side of the bed, quietly tiptoeing to the bathroom. She didn't flip the light on, it would only serve to worsen her headache. The night light in the hall would suffice. Sam filled a glass with water, then downed her medication. She really needed to avoid any more head injuries. One day she was going to do permanent damage.
Sam propped her good hand on the counter, closing her eyes. Jack had been so gentle and understanding. He let her set the pace with their relationship, and she was grateful for that. She didn't know what he'd come into her bed expecting, but he'd been nothing but a gentleman. He'd just been there for her, which at this point, was what she needed.
Thinking back to when she'd first met the man asleep in her bed, she smiled inwardly. She never thought in a million years he would be the one. But he was, there was no doubt in her mind.
Suddenly a pang of guilt washed over her-this happened from time to time. She had been over Pete since probably before they'd even broken up, but she wasn't over her betrayal to Jack. She knew he didn't consider it to be betrayal, and Sam supposed it wasn't. They hadn't been in a relationship then, but she'd been with Pete while she still loved Jack. That had been unfair to all three of them. Thinking of it still stung. But the past was the past and she was with Jack now.
She tensed for a moment as she felt hands on her bare shoulders. Looking up into the mirror, she saw Jack behind her.
"You okay?" he asked sleepily, slightly massaging her shoulders. Sam wasn't really sore from her offworld experience, but she had to concede that his ministrations felt pleasant.
"I'm fine. Headache, but it's taken care of now," she said, lightly shaking the bottle of pills.
"Come back to bed?"
Maybe she was still half asleep, or maybe they really were slipping into this relationship easier than she thought they would, but Sam wasn't shocked by his words. In fact, they seemed right. Sam turned around, taking in Jack's ruffled hair, sticking up in every direction possible. He was adorable and all hers, she thought with satisfaction.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you," Sam apologized.
"It's okay. I knew the second you were awake anyway. All those years of sleeping off world weren't for nothing," he grinned, sliding his hands from her shoulders. Sam immediately missed their presence.
She returned his smile, lightly touching his arm and turning him towards the bedroom. She followed behind him, stifling a yawn. Sam didn't want to be tired. Not with Jack there.
Jack crawled into bed, the mattress squeaking under his weight. Sam followed suit, with only the slightest bit of inhibition. Sam shifted her body closer to Jack's. She laid her head on his chest, bringing her bandaged wrist up to rest there as well. Sam felt one of Jack's arms find a place on her back. Once they settled in, she could hear the strong and steady beat of his heart. That reassuring sound, and the comfort and safety she felt in her current position almost lulled her to sleep-until Jack spoke.
"Thank you."
"Hum?" Sam mumbled. "Thank you for what?"
"For..." Jack fell silent. She knew he was looking for the right words. "For the last eight years I've only seen glimpses of 'Sam'. The last month… Just…thank you."
Sam nodded into his chest. She understood. They had spent so much of their time putting up their good soldier fronts that they were rarely ever just Sam and Jack around each other. But when they were, she knew without a doubt they could make a relationship work. And so far they were. It wasn't without its trials, of course. They'd had disagreements. They weren't huge blowouts though. The way they approached their relationship was in many ways no different than they had in the past. Teamwork, compromise, and being well attuned to the thoughts and actions of the other had saved them from many arguments. After so many years and all they'd been through, they found very little reason to fight. Sam had to admit, it was odd at first to be able to tell Jack exactly what she thought after being his subordinate for so long. However, it was clear that their relationship was a partnership, no longer CO and 2IC.
The silence was broken once again by Jack.
"I love you."
Sam propped her head up on his chest, looking up at him. "I love you too…are you okay, Jack?" she asked, concerned.
"No, not really. I don't want this job, Sam. Well, not for the right reasons."
Sam watched him, waiting for him to continue.
"I'm not cut out for this type of job. You know that. I won't ever love my job like you love yours. I'm taking it because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't. What will happen to the SGC, SG-1…or to you, if I don't oversee it all? I'm putting us on hold for something I'm not even sure I want."
"No. We're putting us on hold. As for this job…well, I can't tell you what to do. I don't think you would have accepted it if you didn't think you could do some good."
"Yeah…"
Once again the room was still. Sam lay her head back down, her fingers tapping lightly against Jack's chest. It was only a feather light touch due to her injury, but one that made Jack's pulse race a little faster. Sam was getting drowsy yet again when Jack spoke up. She would have been annoyed expect for what he said.
"Do you want to get married?"
"Well, if you mean run off to Vegas and get married tonight, then no," she responded coolly.
"No, not tonight. Just someday," he said quietly, his hand gently rubbing her back.
"Someday would be good. When you leave tomorrow, Jack, don't be afraid you'll lose me. There are no guarantees in life, except that I love you, and I'm not making the same mistake again."
"See, it's that no guarantee thing that bugs me. I'm afraid I'll lose you, but not in the way you're talking," Jack frowned.
"Stop thinking that way right now, Jack O'Neill. Don't worry about me. I've been doing this for a long time; it's a risk I'm willing to take. Anything could happen to either of us at anytime anyway."
"True," Jack said, then chuckled. "I just realized I asked you to marry me when we haven't gone on a single date, or for that matter, kissed."
"Yes, well, we'll fix that problem soon enough."
Jack smiled into Sam's hair. At one point in his life, he'd considered never starting over. But for the last few years, he'd come to see Sam as the only one he'd ever consider doing it with. "So…someday?"
"Yes." A simple, straightforward answer. She no longer had doubts when it came to Jack. She was his-hook, line, and sinker-cliché and all.
"So, are we engaged?" Jack asked.
"Do you have a ring?" Sam wondered teasingly.
"No, but you have my heart."
"Can I keep it?" The smile was still in her voice.
"You've had it for a while already, Sam." Jack was surprised when her grip tightened on him.
"God, I'm going to miss you."
He moved his hand up to tenderly stroke her blonde locks. "Me too."
"Jack?" came Sam's small voice. He was somewhat alarmed by her meekness.
"Yeah?"
"Do…do you want to have kids?"
"Kids?"
"Well, yeah. I always wanted to, but I just don't know how you… You know…" Sam sighed in frustration.
"Charlie? That was a long time ago, Sam. I still love him, and I'll never forget him. But you are the here and now. I want to have kids with you. As many as you want."
Sam felt tears welling up in her eyes. She felt so undeserving of this man. Then again, he'd say the same thing about her. "Okay. I'd like that," she agreed.
"Alright, so date, kiss, get married, have kids?" Jack listed.
"I think it's more like get engaged, date, kiss, get married, have kids," Sam replied, snuggling closer to Jack.
"Sweet!"
Jack ran his hand through Sam's hair while she doodled on his chest with her index finger. He was almost positive she was drawing Earth's point of origin symbol over and over again.
Sam relaxed against Jack's strong body. Her headache was all but gone and she was getting rather comfortable. Jack's scent surrounded her and his rhythmic heartbeat soothed her. Her hand fell still as she dozed off.
Jack's fingers still stroked her hair lightly. He glanced down at her, sound asleep. Every time he looked at Sam, he felt an overwhelming sense of love, adoration, and pride. When Jack had first met her, he'd thought Sam would be the death of him. Instead, she'd turned out to be his life.
TBC in 'Morning Promises'