Spoilers: Order of the Phoenix
Thank you to my beta, Nakhash Mekashefah!
For an unknown reason, has decided to skip my paragraph separators and I can't manage to put them back, so forgive me for the quite indigestible formatting...
At dinner, the two Potions masters were eating silently, served by an equally silent house-elf, the only one there was in the house. In a way, Severus was glad there was only one house-elf, since he wasn't exactly fond of the little beings; he knew of the problems Lucius Malfoy had had with Dobby – in their favour, but still – and he remembered that Kreacher had been, for a great part, responsible for the disaster at the Ministry in the Dream Team's fifth year. And he also knew now that it was Dobby who had stolen the Gillyweed from his stores back in her fourth year – Hermione had told him so.
Actually, 'told' was maybe the wrong word to use. 'Yelled' or 'shouted' might better correspond to the tone of voice she had then used. It had been their second row and the subject had been – strangely enough, for Severus would have expected him to be the subject of the first row – Harry Potter.
"Harry, Harry, Harry!" she had yelled. "With you, it's always Harry's fault, even if he's miles from the place where the thing has happened! If the sun doesn't come out tomorrow, will it be Harry's fault too?"
"Probably," he had replied, just to irritate her. "Think! You know my stores better than anybody else, except me, and you know how dangerous some of the ingredients are. Why do you think I'm so adamant in keeping the little ignoramuses out of them?"
"I know exactly why and that's the reason why I never let Harry near your stores. I stole from them myself, but then, you didn't think better of my intelligence back then."
Still now, he could remember the disappointment in her tone and he could also remember the only affective move he had had toward her during their three years of work together: he had gently tapped her nose with his finger. "Of course, I had a higher opinion of your intelligence than of Potter's. After all, you are the student who managed to solve my puzzle on the way to the Philosopher's Stone."
"That test was brilliant," she had whispered as if despite herself.
He had bowed ironically. "Thank you, my lady. Truly, my heart was wilting in the absence of your recognition."
She had answered with unflattering names, but he hadn't cared. What he had cared for, though, was to set up wards to keep house-elves from his office and stores, afterwards.
All in all, Severus couldn't say it was bad being where he was. He could research all he wanted without caring for the 'dunderheads' and there were no interruptions from Albus and no call from the Dark Lord. He even managed to be civil with the other wizard in the house – the courtesy being returned – so it could have been far worse. Except that he had the impression of not doing anything good. They knew how to awake Hermione, but it wasn't anything new. They had even found a way to break the link created by the blood potion between Hermione and Severus but it would only result in Severus's almost immediate death were they to use the reversing potion. They were not one iota closer to their goal than they had been when they had begun and Severus's patience was wearing thin.
He was usually a patient man when it came about potions and research, but now, knowing Hermione's life was in the balance, any delay sent him in a fit and it was getting harder for him to control his temper. He didn't want her to awake in a world where all her friends were dead because he had taken too long to find the cure.
Moodily he ate, watching the wizard seated in front of him. As a Slytherin, he would never be caught staring, but it didn't prevent him from studying him at length. Arsenius Jigger, known by generations of Hogwarts students as the author of Magical Drafts and Potions, the Potions book they had since the first year. Not half of them knew that he was also the creator of the Wolfsbane potion. Hermione had known, of course, which was why she had sought him out at first when Severus rejected her application for apprenticeship.
Arsenius Jigger was renowned to be solitary and quite an eccentric. Few people knew he belonged to the Order of the Phoenix and even Alastor Moody, who had once mentioned his real name to Harry, didn't know Arsenius Jigger for who he truly was. For Arsenius Jigger's real identity was Caradoc Dearborn, a member of the original Order of the Phoenix, who had been missing for quite a few years. Naturally, Albus knew that his supposedly missing member of the Order was the discoverer of the Wolfsbane potion and it certainly had something to do with the fact that he had quite encouraged Hermione in contacting him in the first place.
Severus wondered if Caradoc knew the whole story about why he had so successfully escaped Voldemort. Somehow, he doubted that Albus had told him about the role the young Severus had played. Disappearing and then appearing under another new identity was all well and good, but the Dark Lord would not have forgotten his quarry without any good reasons. And the real reason why Voldemort had stopped looking for Caradoc Dearborn is because Severus, then a young Death Eater, had brought him the proof of Caradoc's death. It had been the ultimate test of faith from Albus.
Severus, as a Death Eater, knew perfectly how Caradoc Dearborn looked and he had recognised without hesitation the Potions master Albus had assigned him to. Even though he now was called Arsenius Jigger, there were no doubts he was in fact the missing member of the Order of the Phoenix, the one Voldemort was so adamant to kill. He could have betrayed him there and then and gained the approval of the Dark Lord. Instead, several weeks after having begun his apprenticeship with 'Arsenius Jigger', he brought back to Albus the body of an old Muggle, dead through no fault of his, who had the particularity of looking quite like Caradoc Dearborn. It had been enough to fool Voldemort and the true Caradoc had been able to pursue his role as Arsenius Jigger with complete peace of mind. After all, hiding in plain view was still one of the best hiding places.
But apparently, Albus hadn't told the whole story to Caradoc and Severus wasn't about to do so, though maybe he would have used it to pressure the old Potions master had he refused to help him. He knew only too well how it felt to be indebted to someone for the rest of one's life. And then, Caradoc had been his Potions master and while Severus's skills in Potions had always been quite superior to any of his fellow students, Caradoc had truly honed them, bringing them close to what they were now. Severus hated the fact that he owed anything to the wizard, for Caradoc, who had known since the beginning who Severus was – a Death Eater – had never trusted him and had never handled the young wizard with kid gloves. Severus still resented having to use his book as a reference for the students.
"Remind me once again what exactly we are looking for," said Caradoc with a weary voice, looking at his pastry as if it was containing a dangerous poison.
Severus didn't call him 'hare-brained' for asking such a question like he might have done with someone else. The older wizard's methods were familiar to him and he knew they were looking for an overlooked clue in the umpteenth repetition of the facts. Each time, he racked his brains to remember something new and he tried to rephrase it in order to perhaps discover a whole new meaning to a little fact.
"We're looking for something I call 'Hermione's cure' in the feeble attempt to forget it's something to save my own hide," replied Severus with dark humour. "The only cure she really needs is the counter-spell to the sleeping charm she cast on herself and we already know it. It's in this book," he added, his fingers brushing the cover of Voldemort's book.
"Very well. Then what are we trying to cure?"
Severus glared at Caradoc.
"We're trying to find a way to counter two things. First of all, a potion that I created myself some time ago and that at first I wanted to design as to be irreversible. Fortunately, thinking of the Dark Lord's abysmal level in Potions – since he had to use Pettigrew's skills – I neglected to do so and even wrote down some notes about the counter potion. Secondly, the curse the Dark Lord kindly laid on me."
"Describe that curse."
"I'm coming to that," muttered Severus. "Did you treat Hermione with the same contempt and distrust?"
Caradoc started before snapping angrily, "She's not you!"
"Excellent remark. If you cared to clarify it a bit more…"
"You're a Slytherin and you were a young Death Eater at the time! Everybody knew it! You were bound to become one, it was obvious to anyone in Hogwarts! Why would I have trusted you? I told Albus over and over that he was making a mistake but–"
"But he never listened to you, in this irritating manner of his. And now, you know he was right, don't you?" he asked with deceptive softness.
"Albus could have been misled! Slytherins are cunning and he's too trusting. It was too early to really trust you and–"
"He knew what he was doing!" shouted Severus, suddenly standing up. "I had already proven myself, Caradoc Dearborn!"
Thunderstruck, Caradoc could only open and close his mouth like a fish.
"But Albus didn't tell you, did he? He didn't tell you I was already part of the Order at that time! No, I was his little secret! It would not have done to tell Potter and Black that their favourite punch-bag was someone who might just be decent! No, I had to remain the scum of Hogwarts, it served Albus's purposes."
But Caradoc wasn't listening to him and didn't comment on the scathing tone.
"Since when do you know?"
"Since the first time I set foot in the room you called a laboratory. Since the very first time I set my eyes on 'Arsenius Jigger', the wizard who was going to teach me how to become a Potions master, I knew that I was facing Caradoc Dearborn, a member of the Order of the Phoenix, actively wanted by the Dark Lord. It was for me the occasion of becoming his right hand only months after joining the Death Eaters but it was also for Albus the occasion of testing me."
Severus's voice was bitter when he said those words, remembering exactly what it had meant for him, all the lies it had involved. Caradoc rose from his seat.
"I think I know Albus well enough to guess what it really means," he said, his tone suddenly unsure. "If something had happened to me, if the Death Eaters had caught me, he would have considered you guilty, even if you had had nothing to do with it. He would have thought that you had betrayed me to them. So you had to protect me with your silence, with your life. Why didn't you ever say a word about it, Severus?"
"Forget it. I never wanted to talk about this. It's the past, now."
"I owe you–" began Caradoc, seizing his arm.
"You owe me nothing!" replied Severus harshly, jerking free. "You know nothing of what it means, to owe a life debt to someone and to never be able to repay it! We have to concentrate on the Dark Lord's curse!"
"At least, tell me you forgive me for having been such a fool as to underestimate you. I should have known that you would recognise me."
Severus looked lengthily at him before shrugging. "You never saw me when you taught me. You always considered me to be the young idiot who had believed the Dark Lord's promises and lies. You never thought I could have changed."
Caradoc had the grace to look ashamed and was quite surprised that Severus chose not to boast on the subject but rather returned to the problem they had been working on.
"The curse the Dark Lord laid on me… It's keyed to me, designed for me, which can only mean that he knew for quite a while I was a traitor to him before he cast it. It's a sort of vampire spell, which sucks life force and magic from me. As it's specifically my life and magic, it allows me to survive by using the potion I created, since I live then on someone else's life and magic. If the spell were cast on someone being in good health, I think it would take maybe one week to wear him down to death. As the Dark Lord was not kind enough to even give me one week, he cast bouts of Cruciatus on me, along with some other nasty curses, and my fellow comrades had their revenge in store also, which explains why I was already at death's door when I managed to reach Hogwarts."
"And Poppy couldn't do anything to give you the week of respite?" asked Caradoc, frowning thoughtfully.
"Poppy cast all the healing spells she could, but even the best healing charm can't work properly if the living force is being eaten away by a dark spell. But as soon as I was bound to the Dark Lord, her spells took effect, using his life force to heal me, since mine was reduced to nothing."
"So now, you are become a vampire on life force and magic."
"Not really. I'd think I'm worse than a vampire. A vampire needs only now and then to drink blood from a living person. I need their life force constantly. Were I without it for more than one hour, the curse would drain whatever is left of mine – if there is still some left – and the world would be rid of my presence in no time. But Hermione wouldn't allow it," he added with a wry smile. "Typical Gryffindor."
"So what we really need is to find you a sort of foreign source of life force you would be the only one to use, an unlimited one, or at least, lasting as long as yours would have."
"Not only a life force, but a source of magic also. Sorry to say, but living without magic would be for me worse than being dead."
Caradoc smiled. "Hermione told me once that in her first year at Hogwarts, she ranked being expelled as being worse than dead."
"It would be like her, the annoying chit. Always with her hand in the air, except when she lost fifty points to Gryffindor in one night."
He settled down comfortably in his armchair, slightly moving the cup of tea in his hand and watching the dark liquid twirl lazily around. For a moment, both wizards were silent, thinking of the young witch they were trying to free from her stasis and yet at the same time, quite not realising she was no more around, bustling with life and endless questions.
Severus was the first one to break the silence, enunciating his sentence as if he was hazarding a guess, back on those years when he was Caradoc's student and was harshly rebuffed for any mistake or unrealistic idea. "My hope was that there was a potion that could imitate a life force, an artificial one, but it seems that my hope was a foolish one. We didn't find anything and, for once, I have to congratulate the Dark Lord for his imagination. He did a fine job on this curse."
"There would be something, but I don't think you would wish that," said Caradoc cautiously.
"Don't tell me about unicorn blood. And don't believe any second that there is a single drop of it in the potion I created. I never stepped back from using dark ingredients in my potions, but never unicorn blood. I would then be a potential second Dark Lord. I know my potion–"
"How did you call it?" interrupted Caradoc. "I'm tired of referring to it by 'the potion you created' or 'your potion'."
Severus had a brief laugh. "The Nosferatu Draught."
"Back on vampires."
"Quit that term," growled Severus. "I've been called 'overgrown bat' more times than I can remember and from bat to vampire, there is only one step to be made. You wouldn't believe the number of people thinking I'm truly a vampire, even though I've been under the sun in front of countless witnesses. Anyway, as I was saying, I know the Nosferatu Draught may seem to have the same properties as unicorn blood, but I didn't use that ingredient. There are other ingredients whose combination would lead to a similar result, without the price to pay, but naturally, it's not as strong as unicorn blood."
Caradoc nodded and filled again his teacup, before mechanically breaking a biscuit into tiny crumbs. "My last idea would be to ask Nicolas Flamel. Maybe if we could work on a variation of the Elixir of Life… Alchemy sometimes may succeed where Potions are useless."
"Don't you know the last news? Nicolas and Perenelle died two weeks ago."
"And some people wonder why I'm always working on my own!" groaned Severus. "Each time I wish for help, it's always denied to me!"
Caradoc didn't say that he at least had been there for him, since he knew he wouldn't have if Hermione hadn't asked him beforehand.
"Nicolas didn't have much left of his Elixir. Albus told me, after the thing with the Stone, that he had just enough to set his affairs in order before dying."
"He waited this long. Couldn't he wait one month more?"
"Ah well, it takes some time to set in order one's affairs after seven hundreds-odd years," replied Caradoc philosophically. "But we can ask Albus. After all, they worked together on alchemy."
"It would be a good idea if Albus hadn't left Hogwarts at the same time as I did, for nobody knows where. Last time I heard from Minerva, she had no idea as his whereabouts."
Caradoc eyed him suspiciously. "Are you sure there are no second effects to your draught? If drinking unicorn blood condemns one to a cursed life, it seems the Nosferatu Draught condemned you to an unlucky one."
"It is not the time for stupid jokes, Caradoc. While we are idling here, Hermione is waiting for her freedom."
Caradoc grimaced and put his teacup away to open Voldemort's book of spells that they had already perused more than once, but kept coming back to. Then he hesitated a brief moment. "What if we were forgetting other leads? Maybe we could study other creatures' way of living."
"Such as?"
"Well, if we consider phoenixes. They are regularly reborn. Maybe something with phoenix blood…"
Severus considered the idea for a moment.
"Give me the book, I'll study it once more. Have a look at the creatures. After all, you're well placed for that, as the creator of the Wolfsbane potion and the wizard currently studying Dementors. Don't forget you can send word to Hagrid if you want answers on beasts that are supposedly forbidden in England."
Caradoc had a light smile and turned toward a previously neglected part of his library. Soon, both wizards were working, head bent down on their respective heavy volumes.