Not Meant To Be Like This

Ashley could not have come up with a scenario in which she felt worse than the one that just happened. She knew he'd be hurt, but that was unreal. So apparently he was smiling at Ellie earlier. She couldn't really grasp what just happened and knew she had to get out of there. Ellie offered to give her a ride home. She knew better than to ask what was wrong, so the entire car ride home was left to silence. Before getting out of the car, Ashley told Ellie that she'd call her later; she just couldn't talk right now. Though Ellie was given no information to go off, she knew only one thing could ever upset Ashley like this…Craig.

Ashley bypassed her mother and went straight up to her room. There was only one thing she could do when she got this upset and that was to vent in her journal…yes, that journal. She had written in it a lot during her time away and was almost in need of a new one. She wrote about the places she had been, the things she had seen, the bands she had heard but mostly importantly, she wrote about him. And so the trend continued. She began to write…

What was I thinking? Why'd I just expect him to forgive and forget that easily? Am I that naïve? He looked so sad and hurt. He looked the same as the day I had left him; when I told him not to follow me. The day I couldn't bare to turn around and see the wounded look across his face, the look I had caused. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Why am I here? Why did I come back? I should have just let everyone forget about me. I felt bad the day I found out about Manny, the day I told Craig I couldn't marry him and, of course, the day I said goodbye, but the pain I felt on those days was nothing compared to the pain I am feeling right now. I screwed up, yet again. I feel as if all I ever do is hurt him. I guess he truly is better off with Manny.

It had been hours since Ellie had dropped Ashley off and she still hadn't heard from her. She knew she would call when she was ready, but Ellie was beginning to worry. She didn't want to pressure Ash into talking to her, so she did the only other thing she could think of. She called Craig instead.

The phone rang twice before she heard Craig's voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Hey Craig, it's me Ellie."

"Oh hey, El. Look, I'm sorry I barely said two words to you at graduation. I just didn't feel very good and ended up leaving early. Manny was pretty mad actually, but I don't want to get into that," he said.

"Well good, 'cause I'd rather not hear about it," she said with a laugh. "So listen. I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but she's my friend and I'm worried…"

Craig knew where this was going and didn't seem willing to participate. "Ellie, I'm gonna interrupt you right there. I don't want to talk about Ashley, OK?" he asked, even though it was more of a statement.

"Ya, I thought you'd say that, but I'm just concerned. When I took her home today she looked terrible and barely said two words and I have a feeling you were responsible for that."

"HEY, don't go blaming me for anything Ashley may or may not be feeling! She started this whole mess."

"What whole mess?" she asked. "I thought you moved on and you and Manny were doing fine."

"What? We are. That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?" she questioned.

"Nothing, nevermind. It's not important. Can we just drop it, OK? Ashley's back and I'd rather just not think about that right now. I have other things to worry about, like the album I haven't finished recording. And knowing Ash, she's probably not even staying around long."

Wow, they're both really upset today, Ellie thought. Ellie didn't like being in the middle of this, especially since she's kind of fallen for Craig since Ashley left and Ashley is her best friend. The whole thing is just too complicated, she thought. But they are both still her friends.

"OK, Craig. I'll drop it. But I really think you should talk to her before you leave or before she leaves, for that matter."

"I'll think about it," he said. After a long pause and no response from Ellie he decided to add, "That's all I can give you El."

"Fine then. Talk to ya later."

Ellie went and hung out with Marco for a few hours. When she got back, her mom told her Ashley had called. Ellie figured Ashley might not answer the phone if she called her back, so she decided to just show up at her house. She knew it was completely rude to do so, but she also felt it necessary, especially after talking to Craig.

Ash's mom let Ellie in and told her Ashley was up in her room. Ellie went up the stairs and hesitated before knocking on the door.

Knock, knock.

"Mom, I said I didn't feel like talking!" Ashley angrily yelled.

"Ash, it's me, Ellie."

Ashley was shocked. Why would Ellie just show up like that? She quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes.

"Uh, ya. Just a sec."

She got out of bed, pulled up the sheets and grabbed a book to pretend like she had been reading.

"Ya, go ahead. Come in."

Ellie opened the door and looked around. Why did Ashley feel like she had to hide herself, and what she was feeling, from her?

"Ash, what are you doing?"

"Uh, what does it look like I'm doing? I'm reading a book," she said.

"Ashley, you know that's not what I mean. Fine, I'll just get right to it then. I just talked to Craig," Ellie blurted out.

"What?…I mean, why? You didn't talk about him and I did you?" Ashley asked.

"Actually, ya we did. He seemed pretty upset, Ash. What happened to the two of you today?"

"Nothing good, that's what."

"Why? What did you say? What did he say?"

"Well, that would be the first problem?"

"Huh," Ellie didn't understand.

"Well, there was no talking, at least not on his part. I saw him in the school hallway and he walked right past me. When I turned around and said hi, he kept right on walking," Ashley said in disappointment. "And that was it. That was when I asked you to take me home."

"This is not good Ash."

"You think I don't know that!" Ashley yelled.

"Well, why don't you just explain everything to him? Like you did to me."

"Ellie, I told you all of that because you are my best friend and I trusted you wouldn't tell anybody."

"And I still haven't, but I think it might be time to tell him. You, not me."

And with that, Ellie left. She did everything she could, but it was now up to Ashley; as they say, the ball was in her court.