Danny entered the bathroom to find himself confronted with his own reflection without a warning. He shook his head at himself, he should have known. But now that he'd seen it he couldn't help but remain in front of the mirror for a long moment staring at the vaguely familiar face that kept staring back at him; deep brown eyes, that once shone with energy but were now small and dark from lack of sleep, the former summer tanned skin drained of all colour and the hollowing cheeks, making him look sick and gaunt… and then there were also those dirk circles underneath his eyes.
Growing tired of staring at the depressing picture Danny stuck his tongue out at his reflection and moved on to his usual morning routine. He was about to get into the shower when there came the knock on the door he'd been expecting and Martin's voice calling his name.
"I'll just be a few minutes", he shouted back knowing fully well, that it wasn't what this was about.
He hadn't expected Martin to be as adamant as he was but eventually Danny couldn't take the constant noise of knocking and shouting any longer. Obviously Martin wasn't going to have being ignored today and – as it happened rarely enough – Danny finally was the one to give in. He unlocked the door, now showered and clad in a fresh pair of boxers, but not yet shaved and he hadn't brushed his teeth, either.
With a force that wasn't at all typical for him Martin pushed the door open as soon as there had been the sound of the key being turned in the lock and Danny found himself in the unpleasant situation of standing almost completely exposed opposite his lover, who'd put on a face that looked a lot more worried than Danny thought he could bear.
"I just phoned Jack", Martin informed him, completely calm as if nothing had happened. "I told him you're not coming in today."
"You what?" Danny asked exasperated, unwilling to believe, even for a moment, that what Martin had just said was true.
But Martin repeated it, his voice still sounding unimpressed even though he had to know about the blow that had to come – and did fail to come. But Martin waited patiently until Danny had calmed down enough to listen to him speaking again: "Listen, Danny, you think the way you look, Jack wouldn't have sent you straight back home?"
"No…" Danny shook his head stubbornly although he knew he was being childish now. "It's none of his business, is it?"
"If you screw up on the job because you're not fit to work, it is his business. And it's not like him and the others haven't noticed anything or didn't care at all, you know that, Danny. Jack said, he's even been thinking 'bout making you an appointment with Dr. Harris."
At the mention of the office shrink – as Lisa Harris was often being referred to – Danny winced noticeably. It was the last he'd need, somebody to come poking and prodding in his mind, trying to dig up us much as possible of his miserable past and analyze it. He knew his attitude towards this option was visible, even more so when Martin reacted on it:
"See, that's why I told Jack you're not coming at all."
"How'd he take it?"
"He wasn't happy, but there's still four of you left so he was ok with. Anyway, he said, you'd probably get sick if you don't get to rest some time soon. – And that's what I think, too, by the way", Martin said sounding serious. "I'm sorry, Danny, although I can't really see what is so bad about taking a sick day."
Danny couldn't bring himself to answer for a while, for two reasons: one, he was still angry with Martin and right now he was in the mood to sulk and two, he couldn't think of anything to say. "Nothing", he finally admitted. "It's just… embarrassing that's all."
"What? Being sick?"
"No, you calling in for me." Danny explained in a small voice. He was staring to his feet now, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself. He had known all the time that Martin had been trying to help him but he'd pushed him away, feeling embarrassed at the thought of admitting that something wasn't ok. Danny didn't like not being ok, or rather; he didn't like anybody else knowing he wasn't ok. Even Martin. His love. The person he'd been trying to share his life with despite knowing all the time what occurred to him once more in moments like this; it just wasn't possible to share every bit. At least not for him.
The silence between the two men was becoming uncomfortable so eventually Danny decided he didn't want to talk anymore and made to leave the bathroom but soon he was stopped by Martin grabbing his arm.
"What?" he demanded.
Martin had his best puppy dog look put on (and Danny couldn't help grinning despite his tenseness): "Just let me take you in my arms for a moment, please…"
Now Danny smiled. Moments like this he was happy to be with Martin, to know him by his side, no matter what. And so he let himself be pulled into a tight hug by the strong arms he loved so much and he enjoyed the sensation of the gentle hands that kept caressing slowly over his stiff back and he let himself be drowned in that touch that was just so… so Martin.
Eventually Danny pulled away from the hug and for the second time made to leave the bathroom not without slapping Martin's ass playfully before he left to show his lover things were going to be ok and he was going to be the old Danny, soon. "You gotta get ready, so you won't be late for work and have your ass kicked by your new boss."
Martin laughed at that.