Blitzkrieg Studios
Chapter Two
Yurii: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CHAPTER TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Note: I mean no offense to anyone who is religous and reads this.
The camera turns on again to show Kai and Tala both in their respective chairs, Kai with a swollen bruise on his forehead and Tala with a black eye.
"Hey, we're back. I'm Tala."
"And I'm Kai, and I can proudly say that I've pummeled my own team captain." He says with a smug grin.
"Yeah, but the black eye still isn't your fault."
"What you talkin' bout, Willis?"
"HEY! Both of you zip it!"
The camera turns to a third person in a swivel chair; Danica. A backdrop of the office from The Godfather crashes down and a spotlight appears on Danica.
"Wassup, peeps. This is your lord and master, Danica Arsenyev. Since these two idiots were making so much god damn noise, I found them fucking around in here and attempting to beat the shit out of each other. Keyword here being attempting."
"Yep. The black eye and bruise are Danica's doing." Tala agrees.
"How can you be so calm? We got our asses kicked by a girl who's barely 5 feet tall!" Kai shouts.
"Tough shit, bitch! Oh, and for those of you who want a physical description of me, go read chapter one of Tsyetirye Vyetra! Yurii Savinov is a fucking lazy jackass and doesn't feel like posting it all over again, so like I said before, tough shit!"
"Boy, you sure know how to make a person feel loved…"
"Now shut up and lets roll the damn clips!"
"Who died and made you queen?"
Danica turns to Kai and Tala with a sly grin.
"Because, my dear Tala, if Taylia knew what you were doing up here, she would have your heads mounted on the wall. You're letting me in on all this to save your lives. Comprende?"
They both nod.
"Good. Now, before we continue, we have a few evaluations to make, staring with a short rant by yours truly. It's only fair to warn you about the couples:
"Tala and Drayea are really still in the 'look-at-me-the-wrong-way-and-you're-dead-Ivanov' stage. Baby steps, slow and steady.
"Taylia and Kai are psychotic. Kai is always flirting with her, and Taylia is always trying to kill him or castrate him in some horrible, gruesome way. Nonetheless, they wind up making up (or more to the point, making out) at the end of the day.
"Bryan and Riikka… dear god, they're even worse than Kai and Taylia. Since Ray is always hitting on Riikka, their favorite way (actually, Bryan's favorite way) to get rid of catboy is to start a makeout session, and I don't mean like just a pathetic lip lock, we're talking Bryan shoving Riikka against the nearest wall with his tongue down her throat. …Ew.
"Mitsu and Spencer… eh, they're not so bad. They don't talk much except when Mitsu is going schizo or demonic, and that's when everyone knows to run for the hills. She's even scarier than Taylia PMS-ing when she gets like that, and that, my loyal viewing underlings, is truly scary.
"Lastly, me and Ian. We're more or less the most annoying pair in the group, and I say this proudly. People assume we're a couple since we're always plotting and scheming together. Why, you ask? Because he's the only minion I've ever had who can come up with a doozy of a prank and get away with it."
Kai continues.
"As for the Four Winds girls and Danica, (whom I won't dare describe while she's here for fear she kills me,) they're all fucked up in one way or another.
"My girlfriend Taylia is another psychotic Russian nut who can cuss in 43 languages with a fetish for sharp, pointy objects she can use to try and kill me in my sleep or ensure that I never have children. –shudder- Her favorites include Drayea's scythe launcher, her own lance launcher, Mitsu's glaive launcher, the swords in the suit of arms that seem to be mounted along every 10 feet of wall space, katanas (one or two at a time), and one or more of her many beyblades; all of which she seems to pull out of nowhere. She's the team captain of the Four Winds, and I think her influence is what made all the others completely nuts.
"Drayea is Tala's girlfriend. She's a German and the oldest in their group of psychos and appears to be the most sensible. Key word there; appears. Actually, she's probably the worst out of all of them. She, like her muy loco team captain, has a fetish for weapons. The only difference is, Drayea's thing isn't for aforementioned sharp, pointy objects; she prefers to go with anything that goes BOOM, i.e. explosives. I don't think I need to continue from there…
"Riikka is Bryan's girlfriend, a Finn (As in Finland, you ignorant morons). She's even more hotheaded than that McGregor bitch, which is why he's scared of her… just like almost everybody else in the BBA. Not because of her temper, but because of the fact that she's with Bryan. Need I remind you of this; Bryan is so fucking possessive if it even appears to look like someone is trying to flirt with her or anything else you perverted minds can think of, they're going to find themselves in the ER faster than you can say 'Stroblitz'.
"Lastly, there's Mitsu, Spencer's girlfriend, the freakishly tall Japanese chick. Holy fuck. This girl is scary. One minute she's the sweet, caring big sister or doctor, and the next she's laughing maniacally, usually with one of Taylia's sharp objects in her hands, and going on a huge rant about how she's going to kill us all in our sleep. Why Spencer likes her, I will never know. I'm not even sure he's in his right mind; maybe she used mind control or something... anyways...Everyone locks their doors at nights now because of her."
"Now, ONWARD!"
It's day two at the Strelnikov manor, and the camera turns on again to show the BBA Revolution team lying around doing nothing while loud crashing is coming from the flight of stairs off screen. It turns to Tala, who has the camera again.
"Wassup, this is everyone's favorite Russian redheaded cyborg Tala, and the crashing you hear is Taylia redefining blitzkrieg for Kai down in the cellar. Shall we check it out?"
He turns the camera away and makes it nod.
"Alrighty then!"
Taking the camera, he walks downstairs. At the bottom of the steps, he cautiously pokes the camera out to make sure it's safe. A second later, a blade shoots at a spot off screen close to the camera and hits the wall, smashing the concrete before bouncing back to the dish. The enormous room looks like Drayea went on another grenade rampage; massive holes blown in the walls, floor and ceiling, and it looks like something in the background is on fire. The only thing intact is the small makeshift lounge in the far corner.
"Sweet mother of Jesus!"
"Yeah, I think her name was Mary." Taylia muses.
"What the hell? You fucking obliterated the basement!" He shouts laughing.
"I know. Cool, huh?" Taylia says cheerfully.
Tala doesn't reply, as he is laughing too hard. Kai rolls his eyes and grabs the camera, punching the wolf (hard) in the head.
"Now, to report the damage."
Kai turns around slowly in a circle, getting a 360 degree view of the totaled basement. Taylia is grinning like a maniac as she loads her launcher and aims at the nearest thing; the camera.
"3, 2, 1, LET IT RIP!"
"AHHHH! NO!"
Taylia launches her blade straight at the camera as Kai turns and runs. He falls, probably hit by the blade, and drops the camera which lands on the couch he was planning to hide behind.
The camera, sideways, shows Taylia flying tackling Kai into the glass coffee table, which shatters as the two are practically somersaulting around the room in an attempt to pin the other. Kai eventually gets slammed into the ground by Taylia, who is sitting cross-legged on top of him, arms folded and smirking.
"Hah! I win again!"
"Again? What do you mean 'again', you've never won before!"
"Have so. I've been keeping count."
"Well, get off me already, I can't breathe."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"Pretty much."
Taylia's eye twitches, and Kai's smirk disappears.
"Dude, you're fucking dead. Oh, and I get dibs on your assets when you die!" Tala shouts in the background.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Camera cuts to static as Kai lands on it from being hurled into the couch.
The camera turns on again, this time showing the backyard with the huge pool mentioned before. Tala, as well as the other boys, is wearing only his swimming shorts.
(A/N: Tala fangirls, feel free to drool now.)
"Okay, Riikka managed to save our sorry asses from the wrath of the crazy phoenix who owns this palace by dragging us out here to enjoy the view."
The camera pans around to show the mountains and the bright sun. It then moves down and zooms in on the back view of Drayea, who is wearing a brown two-piece and sunglasses and is tanning on a chaise lounge.
"Oh yeah, loving the view."
"Tala, put that damn camera away. I swear, you could be dating that thing considering the amount of time you spend with it."
"Heh, jealous."
Drayea turns around, lowering her sunglasses slightly to glare at the camera.
"You wish, Ivanov."
"Oh, on the surname track now, are we Rothstein?"
"Shut up."
Tala shrugs and puts the camera down on the table only to be picked up by Kai a moment later who turns it to himself.
"Okay, for those of you who are stupid don't know what's going on, here's the 411. Riikka got all 3 teams outside to swim, which means the girls are in their bathing suits and the guys are lacking shirts. Now, we've got some pale-skinned Russians who are turning red, not just from sunburn, and the girls are having a blast making us miserable."
He zooms out to show that he's soaking wet.
(A/N: Okay, now Kai fangirls, get ready to drool with me at the thought of that muscular body dripping with water. Ready? Set...–drools-)
"Hey Kai, think fast!"
Kai looks to his right as a water balloon hits him on the head. He shoots a dark glare at the thrower, who happens to be Taylia.
"Nice catch, Kai!"
"Ah, shut up."
Kai turns the camera to the pool where Taylia is sitting (soaking wet) on the edge in a black one-piece with holes in the torso put there on purpose.
"Hey, Kai, I know it didn't hit you that hard!"
The camera is abruptly put down as footsteps quickly walk away. Taylia grabs the camera and zooms in on a retreating Kai, who is fighting a spewing nosebleed.
Camera turns off.
"Hey guys, don't look so bummed! That was fucking hilarious!"
Tala and Kai aren't so amused and are scowling while Danica is laughing insanely to the point where she almost falls off her chair. By now, Tala's eye is twitching.
"THAT'S IT!"
Before anyone can react, Tala leaps to his feet and flying tackles Danica out of her seat as she screams. Danica reacts almost immediately and shoves him off with her feet, getting up and running for the door. Tala grabs her ankles, causing her to fall to the ground.
"Gotcha!"
Right about then, the door slams open to show a worried looking Drayea. However, getting a look at Tala and Danica on the floor, she looks about ready to murder someone. Besides, she only caught the last two seconds of the fight where Tala pinned Danica underneath him on his hands and knees with her wrists gripped tightly in his hands, so anyone could imagine what it looked like to her.
"YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, IVANOV!"
"Wait, Drayea, it's not what it looks like!"
"ROAR!"
The camera gets knocked off the control panel and onto one of the chairs as Drayea flying tackles Tala to the ground and proceeds to beat the crap out of him. Kai is by the door looking panicked in case Taylia might hear, and Danica is cheering Drayea on.
"GUYS! Quit it, Taylia might hear!" Kai whispers harshly.
"SOD THAT!"
Drayea kicks Tala into the chair with the camera, which cuts out with static as it hits the ground.
Camera stops.
Yurii: XD I was laughing my ass off as I wrote this. Review and tell me how much you loved/hated it!