Chapter 7

"What the hell did they do to him?" Kara said fiercely, eyes burning. "He didn't even recognise me!"

"At least you got him to speak," said Cottle, glancing through his papers. "That's more than I've been able to manage."

"Yes, to ask his own name!" Kara shot back. "That's very encouraging." She folded her arms across her chest to stop them shaking. The memory of that moment cut into her sharply; Lee's dazed and bewildered face as he struggled to speak, asking who he was…

She had thought seeing the physical damage had been bad enough. She had barely recognised Lee when Cottle first let her and Adama in to see him. He was painfully thin, bones sticking visibly through his skin, eyes sunken into their sockets. Cottle said the Cylons hadn't been feeding him; just giving him enough nutrients through an IV to keep him alive.

Then there were the other injuries. The broken leg, the smashed fingers. She'd watched Adama's grim face as Cottle leafed through the X-rays, showing them how many times the Cylons had broken Lee's bones, only to let them heal and then break them again. There were burn marks, too, that were too regular to have been anything but deliberate.

But at least the physical damage was visible, understandable, could be healed. Whatever they had done to Lee's mind was another thing entirely. After twenty-four hours of unconsciousness, she'd been so relieved when Cottle said he'd finally stirred. Now she was terrified all over again.

"They've given him some kind of drugs, haven't they."

Kara jumped at the sound of Adama's voice. He'd been silent for the last few minutes while she yelled at Cottle. He'd just sat holding his son's hand, staring intently at his face.

"Yes." Cottle looked down at his papers again. "These are his blood test results." He frowned. "They've been pumping a fine mixture of things into him. Sedatives, hallucinogens – I'm surprised he even knows which way is up, never mind his own name."

"Hallucinogens?" Adama's voice was harsh.

Cottle nodded. "Nasty ones. No wonder he's been screaming – the lords know what he's seeing in that head of his."

Adama's face was rigid. "Is his mind going to be permanently damaged?"

"I can't say." Cottle shot a sharp look at Kara. "Before you jump down my throat, I'm not trying to be vague. I really can't say. It's going to take a few days for the drugs to get fully out of his system. That should stop the hallucinations and the disorientation, make him aware of his surroundings. We'll have to see how he responds then."

"So we shouldn't get our hopes up," said Adama flatly. He was still staring at Lee's closed eyes.

"No," said Cottle honestly. "The Cylons have been dosing him with this crap for months by the look of it, and I don't have any previous experience to guide me as to the likely effects. We'll have to see." He paused. "But your son is one of the most pig-headed young men I've ever met. If there's anyone strong enough to beat this, it's him."

Adama half smiled at that. Kara felt tears threatening and bit her lip to stop them.

"How are your other patients, doctor?" Adama asked.

Cottle grimaced. "Pretty much the same shape as Commander Adama – bad. They're all going to need intensive care and long recovery periods. I simply don't have the resources for that here, so I'm making arrangements to have the civilian patients transferred to other medical facilities around the fleet. There was one other military prisoner – Sergeant Harrison – he's the only one I'll be keeping here."

"Fine," said Adama. "I'll look in on Harrison later."

Cottle nodded and left the cubicle, drawing the curtain back behind him to give them some privacy. Kara sank down in the chair opposite Adama's. She found herself reaching out her hand, tracing gently over Lee's splinted fingers.

"How could they do this to him?" she said roughly.

"They wanted information," said Adama, his eyes hard. "We've found records they kept on each prisoner; Cottle's staff have been looking through them. Some of the prisoners they were experimenting with, but Lee – they were torturing Lee for information." He turned his eyes from Lee for a moment to look at Kara. "They knew who he was."

"Of course they did," said Kara sourly. "Why else go to the trouble of saving his life and fixing those bullet wounds?"

"They probably couldn't believe their luck. A prisoner who knows Galactica inside out, knows the exact details of our resources, knows all the security codes, was fully briefed on our escape plans-"

Kara looked at Lee with fierce pride. "But I bet he didn't tell them anything."

"From the records, it certainly looks like it." There was an answering pride in Adama's voice. "But they did everything they could think of to break him."

Kara could hear the anxiety in his voice.

"Lee's stubborn," she said, trying to comfort him. "We both know that." Her mouth curved wryly.

Adama's mouth twisted in return. "Don't we just." He stroked a hand over his son's forehead.

"He'll put himself back together again. And he's got us to help him."

Adama turned his head to look at her and smiled. "So he does." He continued to study her and his face darkened with concern. "Kara, you look terrible. When did you last sleep?"

She couldn't remember. She hadn't left life station since Cottle had summoned them there, which seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I caught a quick nap here and there."

"Well, it's obviously not enough. Go get some sleep, Kara. You look like you're about to fall over."

She tensed instinctively. "I don't want to leave him." She could still hardly believe that Lee was really here; alive even if just barely so. She was half afraid that if she left he would just disappear again.

"I'll be with him," said Adama gently. "And you'll be no good to him if you collapse. Go. Have some food, get some sleep. I don't want to see you back here for at least six hours. And that's an order, Captain."

Kara reluctantly stood up. She knew when she was beaten. "Very well, sir. But I've got one request."

"Yes?"

"When I get back, I want you to promise me that you'll get some sleep. You look like hell. Sir."

Adama's lips twitched. "Very well, Captain. I'll see you later."

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Kara was back in precisely six hours.

She had to admit she felt better for a decent meal and a few hours of proper rack time. It made her doubly determined to see that the Old Man took his own rest break.

When she slipped into the cubicle Adama was sitting exactly where she had left him, still holding Lee's hand. He looked exhausted, huge dark circles under his eyes.

Lee was still unconscious, though he was twisting and turning slightly in the bed, murmuring incoherently.

"How is he?" whispered Kara, coming to stand next to Adama.

He glanced up at her. "He woke up again, briefly."

"He did?" Kara tried not to be too hopeful. "Did he recognise you?"

Adama shook his head heavily. "No. No idea at all. I told him who I was."

"Did he say anything?"

Adama's face contorted, as if he was trying to hold in some deep emotion. "Not at first. He stared at me for a long time, in this blank way, almost as if he was looking right through me-"

"I know," murmured Kara. "He did the same thing to me."

"And then – and then he bit his lip," said Adama, his voice unnaturally calm. "Until it bled."

Kara looked involuntarily at Lee's mouth. Sure enough, she could see a trace of dried blood around his lips.

"And then he spoke," Adama went on. "He looked straight at me and said 'You're not a dream. I can taste the blood.' And then – then he passed out again."

They were both silent for a moment. Kara put her hand on Adama's shoulder and he put his own hand up to clasp it. Hard. It hurt, but Kara didn't care.

"At least we shot down the bastards who did this to him," she said finally.

Adama's hand clenched harder. "They got off too easy."

Kara agreed. She stood silent for a moment, and then said quietly, "Sir? You promised me you would go and get some sleep. I'll stay with him."

Adama tensed for a moment, and then nodded. "I will. Thank you, Kara."

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Kara sat there for hours, watching Lee sleep. Thank the lords for Helo. He'd taken over the CAG duties without her even having to ask, practically ordering her to stay with Lee for as long as she needed to.

Just looking at Lee brought a turbulent mix of emotions. Joy, disbelief, worry, fear – and guilt.

Guilt because she had failed him.

She should have gone back for him. She had survived all her life by listening to her instincts, and they had told her Lee was still alive. But for once she hadn't followed them. She had let others reason with her, talk her out of it, and she'd abandoned him.

Abandoned him to months of torture and interrogation. She wondered if he'd been hoping she would rescue him. If he'd been waiting for her to find him, because he believed she would never give up on him, as he would never give up on her.

But she had given up. She'd let them convince her he was dead, and she couldn't forgive herself for it.

I'm sorry, Lee. I let you down – just as I always do. But I won't do it again. I swear it. I'll get you through this. She squeezed his hand.

He squeezed back.

Her head jerked up in surprise. His eyes were open again, and he was watching her.

Her breath caught in her throat. Those damned blue eyes of his, that had haunted her for months – she had never thought they would truly look at her again.

At least he was here. However they had hurt him, at least he was here, and alive. For the moment, nothing else mattered.

He still looked dazed, but the terrifying blankness that Adama had described was gone. He watched her intently for a moment. Kara hesitated, wondering if she should speak to him. Would it do harm or good?

Then she saw his throat muscles working and realised that he was trying to speak himself.

As before, his voice was only a rough whisper. She had to lean forward to catch the words.

"I'm Lee."

Kara swallowed hard. "Yes, you're Lee." She could feel tears pressing at her eyes again and fiercely pushed them back. She was so frakking tired of crying.

He smiled faintly. "I'm Lee. I remembered."

"Yes, you did," said Kara, but it was too late; his eyes were closing and he was drifting off again, back to his dreamworld.

But he'd remembered his name. Surely that was a good sign.

She had to believe that.

Driven by a sudden impulse, she leaned a little further forward and kissed his forehead. He stirred a little, mumbling something she couldn't make out.

"You've got to fight this, Lee," she whispered into his ear. "Do you hear me? You've got to fight this and come back to me. Because I need you."

She paused for a moment, suddenly remembering that awful day Helo told her Lee was dead. Remembered sitting in the briefing room, declaring her love to the empty air, wishing she hadn't lost her chance to tell him that.

Well, the gods had granted her a second chance. And she wouldn't let herself spurn that gift because of her own cowardice.

She took a deep breath. "It's more than that, Lee. I love you. I love you, and I'm not going to lose you again."

She wasn't. She was going to get him through this. Whatever it took.

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Author's Note: Please excuse any medical inaccuracies in this and the following chapters. I freely admit I've put the demands of the plot first!