Okay, so just so you know, the account with ecstasy later on in this chapter is based purely on what I've heard/read, and I have no real knowledge of what goes on when you take it. So please forgive me if it's not accurate, I did my best. Thanks for the reviews, I appreciate it. Besides that… Enjoy your read!
Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts, or any of the characters used in this fic besides made up side characters…
Warning: Drugs, alcohol, and forgetfulness, plus hinted CXL, and again brief Cloud nudity.
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You know how whenever someone passes out, they always wake up to have people's heads hanging over them? This case was no different. When everything faded from pure nothing to distant noises and the impression of light coming through my eyelids, I opened my eyes to reveal Yuffie and Aeris hanging over me blurrily, someone's hand on my forehead and on my rib cage. There's a light blue-green glow on their faces, more than likely coming from my unnatural eyes. I look elsewhere, moving so that I'm sitting up and so that Yuffie and Aeris back off a bit, taking their hands from me thankfully. I rub my head, closing my eyes while doing so, distressed voices finally making an appearance to my ears. "-you okay?" The last end of Yuffie's sentence.
"Cloud, what happened? Are you all right?" Aeris put her hand on the side of my face again, rubbing her thumb over my cheek. I shudder, pushing her hand away with the one that was previously on my head. My wing shakes itself out, then settles, folded behind my back. My eyes never leave the floor.
"Cloud?" His voice rang out from the others, as strange as that was. He was still near his chair, but now standing, his arms at his sides and his eyes wide. Even with what happened, I meet his eyes and smirk triumphantly. His eyes narrow and he scowls, crossing his arms over his chest again and turning away from the three of us. My eyes travel back to the floor, and I sigh. He's really alive…
"Cloud, tell us what happened!" Yuffie was now squatting right in front of me, over my legs, lifting my chin up to look at her face to face.
"It was him. Sephiroth. He's alive… He was… Is, in my head." I look down again, shaking my head. Yuffie takes a few steps back, awkwardly, and fell on her butt, staring at me with wide eyes and her mouth agape. "He's back."
"No… You're kidding." Her voice was pleading, I could tell.
"I wish I was." I told her truthfully, looking back up at them. Aeris gasped, covering her mouth with both hands as women sometimes tend to do when frightened. She seemed horrified, but really who could blame her? He had nearly killed her, back when the worlds weren't connected.
"…Who the hell are you talking about?" Leon asked, turning his head back to us. I couldn't help but meet his eyes again.
"He's… An old enemy. Sephiroth." I nearly shudder, even from just saying his name. There were too many bad memories attached to that… That name… "He… He's done a lot… A lot of terrible things." I explain wearily, showing vulnerability with this, I know. But it didn't matter, really. This was something I didn't mind being my weakness. After all, if Squall met him, he'd understand. Sephiroth was an extremely big deal. "He lit my town on fire, and he… Nearly killed Aeris."
"…" His stare was blank, and he didn't take his eyes of me, which was a bit unnerving. I took my gaze to Aeris, keeping down a blush I could feel rising. It's just the intense look he gave me… It nearly made me shudder. It was like… The kind of look a predator gives its prey right before it leaps into action, thriving on potential energy.
"Why do you think he came back?" Aeris asks me, her arms now hugging herself. "What else could he do?"
"I don't know. The last time he was looking for the Promised Land, but now… There is no Promised Land, our world is gone. There's no reason for him to try anything. Unless…" Yuffie looked from Aeris back to me.
"…He's after me…" I conclude, looking between Aeris and Yuffie, trying my best to resist the temptation of looking at Squall. "He has to be, there's no other reason. He wants me…" I see Squall raise an eyebrow out of my peripheral vision. My wing twitches slightly.
"Oh, no. This isn't good." Aeris ran her hand through her bangs. "What do we do?"
"We should go, somewhere small, remote… You know, like a small world no one's ever heard of. Cid can build us a gummy ship… We should just go." Yuffie suggested in a frenzy, now standing up and pacing. I shake my head.
"No. You should go, I'll stay. I'm the one he wants, I'll face him." A laugh echoed throughout my head, causing me to wince. Yuffie began to speak, but a voice inside my head over rode her voice.
"Tell them to stay." The voice inclined in a smooth, powerful, whispered tone. The glow in my eyes grew intensity, and in a smug, unusual tone I did as it told unwillingly.
"Stay with me." I stand up, in no control of my body whatsoever. Inside, I was panicking beyond belief, but outside, I was cool and calm, even a bit cocky and rather graceful. It scares the shit out of me. He's controlling me. I can feel him inside me, his presence, his thoughts… His feelings… "Running would only provoke a chase, and there's no doubt that he'd win that. If we stay, and we fight, that's the only way we can ever have a chance of winning." I meet Leon's eyes, and this time I can't look away. He knows… Shit. "Of course I know. I'm in your head." I feel myself smirk at Leon, and I make my way over to him. I'm scared of what he'll make me do. I really am.
"Cloud… What are you doing?" I turn to Aeris, her still sitting on the ground. She looked frightened, and I really couldn't blame her. She saw right through me now, she saw who it really was. "Your not Cloud." She convicted, now standing up. My smirk grew, and I stood even more upright.
"Now what gives you that idea?" His words, through my mouth, coming out of my body in my voice. This was starting to piss me off. A fire began welling up inside of me, trying to fight off the foreign invader controlling my every move. The smirk began to fade as he began to realize that I was fighting back. "I wouldn't so that if I were you. This is your body… Not mine." As if to demonstrate, he looked at my hand, stretching out the fingers and turning it over so the palm was facing up. "Whatever happens won't hurt me… But you'll suffer the side affects. Like so." He then proceeded to raise my arm above my head, and slam my wrist down on the corner of the table. A loud cracking sound is heard throughout the kitchen, along with the slam of the table and the shaky legs hitting the tiled floor. Aeris gasped, while Yuffie covered her eyes. The only response from Leon was a raised eyebrow, and wincing when the actual deed was done. Inside I was screaming, but Sephiroth had no response to that. He just smirked, examining the wrist that was now swelling black and blue, with a minor cut from the edge of the table. The blood trailed from the cut to drip off the side, droplets landing on my bare feet and the floor. "Sorry about that. I needed to make a point to my host, he seemed to have trouble understanding a little concept."
"You sick freak!" Yuffie exclaimed, fists at her sides. "What are you doing?"
My voice accumulated a sickening, sadistic laugh, his laugh. "Well I came to give you a message, but it seems that this one's unwilling to have me use him for a bit. What a shame." He smirked. "He'll just have to get used to the occasional commandeering." He put both my hands behind my back, and began pacing back and forth, tilting his head forward as if in deep thought. Of course, my left hand, the one he had smacked, throbbed with pain in protest of this action, but he didn't feel it. Nor did he care. "I came… Well not exactly came… But I'm here to give you a warning. If you leave, I will hunt you all down and kill every last one of you. Stay here, or I promise you you'll regret it." And with that, he abruptly left. Leaving questions unanswered and people unsettled, he gave me back full control of my body, and any feeling of his presence was gone. Taking a moment to regain any kind of thought or focus, I stand completely still, ignoring the throbbing and the shooting pains in my wrist.
Again, I do something I know I'll regret. Paying no mind to my wrist or the others around me, I let out this guttural, animalistic cry of frustration and anger, and then slam both my fists down on the table, my eyes watering from the welling pain now striking me once again. My wing frays out and shudders with the blow. The dark fiery energy of pure and total hatred consumes me, over the pain, over the reality of everything in the room. I hate him… The voices of the others drowned out by the grinding of my teeth, and my heavy breathing, I hate him with every inch, every molecule, every single part of me in existence. It's like he's an infectious disease that tears you apart slowly and then makes you have to watch all your loved ones die as slowly and as painfully as you are.
"C-Cloud?" Aeris placed a hand on my shoulder gently. "You really should tend to your wrist."
"My wrist?" I snort. "I need to tend to my god damn head." I shake my head, heading towards the bathroom yet again. This is one of those never ending matters.
Three weeks went by rather quickly, at least for my taste. It only took about two days to settle in, with new clothes and a bed and everything. Not bad, if I say so myself. I had quite a normal routine, too. Wake up, shower, stretching, I'd go out somewhere for training, lunch, more training or just free time, and then dinner, cleaning, and finally sleep. My wrist had healed up nicely too, and quickly thank god. It wasn't quite broken, but whatever it was hurt like a bitch. Today though, Yuffie had convinced us all to go out to a local club. How? I really can't remember. Something about loosening up… Ha. I can't even begin to imagine how she had Leon agree to go.
So here I was, standing in front of a mirror in my bedroom, getting ready to go…Out… for the first time in my life. Needless to say, I hope what I'm wearing is good enough. It should be, after all… I'm not exactly a dud. I'm at ease with the way I look. A black tank top, a sort of worn out jean jacket, and jeans that Yuffie had picked out for me when we had gone shopping. My hair a mess, as it's always been. My wing was kept hidden under the jean jacket, thankfully. It was fine.
A soft knock on the door came before Leon's head appeared while opening the door a crack. "Ready?" He asked, in a soft monotone as usual. I look over my shoulder at him, nodding. "Then come on. We're waiting." He left, leaving the door open. I sigh, rolling my eyes and running my hand through my hair before turning off the lights and heading down the stairs into the living room, where Yuffie, Aeris, and now Leon were waiting. Yuffie smiled at me, her face now glittering with make up. Aeris also gave me a charming smile of hers, blushing slightly. She still doesn't realize that I don't love her. Maybe it's my fault for not telling her… But I never told her I loved her in the first place, either. Hm. That's quite a predicament.
Leon looked me up and down from the corner of his eye. He's been doing that a lot lately, studying me in a sense. It's kind of creepy, in a good way. I enjoy it in the sickest way you could imagine. Well, maybe not quite the sickest… But damn is it weird. "All right, now that Cloud's ready, let's go!" Yuffie chirped, smiling brightly. She stood up, pulling down her short black miniskirt to smooth it out. Aeris followed suit, in something a bit more reserved, of course. What looked like a short, red, yet classy cocktail dress that ended right up above her knee, and fit her lovely form nicely. Her hair was pulled up as always, and she added a touch of make up, but not as overly done as Yuffie's. Aeris had more of a subtle beauty, while Yuffie had an outgoing completely out there beauty to her. They were both very, very attractive… What is wrong with me? I have two gorgeous women within reach that I could have, and yet… I just… Don't want them.
They lead the way out, myself following after Aeris, and Leon following behind me. We walked to the gate, the girls chattering as I walked behind them and to the left side, while Leon stood slightly behind me and to the right. I had my hands in my pockets, staring out to the side or at the sky, trying to think. Tonight, tonight something's going to happen. I can feel it.
The club is pretty much what I expected it to be: Packed and loud. Music was playing in
the background, the stereotypical techno that I suppose is easier to dance to, or something. Smoke, the smell of liquor, and sweat were all hanging in the air, as pungent as you'd expect in such a small space for so many people. A mass of bodies twisted and pumped to the underlying beat, creating an orgy of frenzied dancing of high and unkempt messes of beings we call people.
Yuffie immediately went to join the mass, jumping in front of the best looking guy she could find. Aeris, on the other hand, got asked to dance almost as soon as she walked in, and so was whisked away by a charming handsome stranger. That left Leon and I, the least willing of the group, to fend for ourselves in this foreign environment. He looked at me at the same time I looked at him, and we both came to a silent agreement. We had no idea what the fuck we were supposed to do. I take one more look around, spotting a somewhat hidden bar through the crowd, and make my way towards it, gesturing for Leon to follow. He did obediently, and I smirked, shifting my way through the crowd, getting more then a few lustful looks.
Reaching the bar, I sit down, Leon sitting next to me. "You got money?" He asks me, whether to see if I'd pay for him or if I needed some myself, I don't know. I nod, getting out my wallet for good measure. He smirks, getting out his also. "Good." I smirk also, just a bit though. Maybe tonight would lead somewhere…
"What do you boys want?" The bartender, a rather young well-endowed girl with long curly blonde hair and bright green eyes asks us, winking with a black outlined eye. Her skin was fair and freckled, and she was thin and graceful as she walked. One can only wonder why they had hired her…
"I'd like whatever you've got to give me." I tell her with a charming smile and a smooth tone, resting both arms on the table in front of me and leaning forward in interest. Hell, maybe I could get a free drink out of this. Her smile intensified as she turned to Leon.
"And you?" Her brows rose, and her lips were pursed in a knowing manner.
"Rum and coke." Leon's curt answer, his voice husky and resounding. The waitress nodded, smiling so her white teeth were showing.
"Coming right up!" She chirped, winking as she walked by me. I turn back to see the crowd of people, watching them in an observant manner, learning how you're supposed to be, I suppose. Maybe halfway looking for Yuffie and Aeris, to make sure they're all right. I really don't know. It doesn't matter, does it? I look over to Leon, catching his eyes for a mere second before he turned away from me, looking in the opposite direction. An eyebrow rises in question, and I keep my gaze on him. What's with this… Strange behavior… Images of the times over the few weeks I had had awkward moments with Leon. A few times on the couch while watching movies, a few times in the kitchen, him walking by my room… Quite a few times actually… Maybe I should say something… "Here you are!" Of course, the bartender. I turn to her, turning on my charm again.
"Glad to have you back." I say, taking my drink. It was translucently bright blue, and in a regular glass with a little pink paper umbrella coming out of the large yellow straw. She winks at me, holding out her manicured hand.
"Here, it's a specialty. It's on the house, don't worry about paying." She smiled as I took what she had offered, not looking to see what it was until she was attending to other customers at the bar. When I opened my palm, there sat two small white chalky pills, little black 'E's printed on them. Oh joy.
"…You gonna use it?" Leon questioned, meeting my eyes timidly as he spoke. A smirk adorns my lips, and I shrug.
"Why the hell not? You want one?" I offer, holding one in-between my pointer and my ring finger to give to him. He takes it, our hands brushing each other quickly, and examined it as if it were a strange foreign object. I smile a ghost of a smile, pocketing the pill in my hand for now. "It could be interesting."
"..." He does the same, hand lingering in his pocket longer than necessary. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, taking his drink and downing about half of it. I grasp the blue concoction she had given me, dragging it in front of me and leaning in to smell it, the scent masquerading in the air. Fruity, with the strong tinge of alcohol. I shrug slightly, raising it to my lips and drinking a good portion. It burned like all hell going down my throat, but the aftertaste was something like tropical punch, just a bit toned down. I then proceed to pinch my nose with my free hand, to rid of the stinging smell, and downing the rest of it in one drink.
Setting the glass back down with a clunk, I stand up, glancing at Leon (who, in turn, had his grey stare on me again) before heading off into the mob of people dancing in the center of the club. The crowd was lively, to say the least, and everyone grabbed the nearest person, grinding in a combustion to release some of the tension in their lives. Sad, and sickening really, I felt revulsion as I went to join them, pairing up with the nearest partner. But then again, who am I to judge? I don't know these people, what they go through, why they're here. Maybe they're like me, desperately seeking a release from this eccentric way of living. Maybe not. It doesn't matter anyway.
I lost my senses to the friction of one body moving against another, lost my head to the beat of the music, I was one with everything around me and nothing mattered more than that at the moment. I couldn't even tell if my eyes were opened or closed, not that it mattered. I think if I bashed into somebody, it'd be better than any orgasm I've ever experienced. It's funny, what something so tiny as an ecstasy pill can do to you. It was wonderfully fabricated, and intensity of the bliss of everything just made things seem so much better than they were. I didn't know who I was dancing with, but I grabbed them, groped them, even licked their neck just to see what it was like, how it would taste, the feeling of soft smooth skin on my taste buds… Everything was so intensified and dulled at the same time… It was the most I've ever felt, but at the same time the least I could ever feel… Something like a fantasy. I laugh in a maniacal way, and everything around me seems to go faster, and then slower, and then faster, and then slower again…
And then everything blurred together, like it was all one event within the whole night. Random faces stood out to me, including Aeris, and Yuffie, but most of all Leon's… And then there were a few faces from the crowd, but no one I really knew, or could name. Tons of lights, movement, random flashes of nude body parts (which I couldn't understand), and then this blank state of seemingly nothing.
The next day was like waking the day after a tragedy. You weren't sure what to expect, or if you even remembered everything correctly, and it all came back to you as kind of a shock. When I awoke, I was laying on my back on the living room floor of the small house I was staying at with the others, completely naked and laying in a puddle of what I assumed to be, from the smell, piss. My wing was sprawled out to the left of me, the feathers messed up and shedding rather grossly. The light from the large window I was facing stabbed at my eyes while they were closed, causing me to slowly and harshly come back from the night before. Every time I blink there's a flash of something that had happened, and I stare out the blinding window until my eyes were completely adjusted and I remembered almost every horror.
Movement came from the hallway leading to the different rooms, so I turn my head in that direction, finding Leon emerging from the shadow into the living room light, bare clad in blue, black, and grey plaid boxers. He looks down on me, his eyes squeezed together slightly as if adjusting from the light, then his eyes immediately get wide and his mouth opens a bit. That lasted a split second though, and then his eyes narrow again and a stern emotionless, if not aggravated expression comes to his face. "Get some clothes on." His rich, enticing voice reaches my ears, and I can't help but wonder if I still am a bit high. He walks into the kitchen, but I swear I could see a slight blush in his cheeks. Sitting up, I look around me, wondering what the hell I had gotten into exactly this time.