Chapter 12

Bill Adama looked at his son and drew a deep breath. He wasn't looking forward to this, but he couldn't just stand by and do nothing.

"Son, why have you fallen out with Kara?"

Lee looked up warily from his ever-present paperwork. "What makes you think we've fallen out?"

Bill sighed. "Lee, the whole of life station heard you shouting at each other." Cottle had been on the phone within five minutes, grumbling about the disruption.

"Oh." Lee returned to his papers.

"So, what happened?"

Lee's shoulders stiffened. "Dad, I really don't want to talk about it. It's personal."

"Fine," said Bill, exasperated. "Then keep it personal. You and Kara still have to work together, and I won't have your problems affecting the running of the ship."

"It won't," snapped Lee.

"Really? How can you basically share the CAG job if you're not speaking to her?"

"I'll speak to her about work."

Bill sat down. "Son, I don't want to interfere. But I don't want this to end up like the last time."

Lee looked confused. "What last time?"

"Of course, you don't-" Bill was abruptly angry with himself. After all these months, he should have got used to Lee's amnesia. But the more Lee improved, the more he seemed back to his old self, the harder it was to remember that he wasn't the same as he used to be.

"When Kara decided to leave the fleet to move down to the planet, you weren't happy about it," he said. "Well, neither was I, but I kept it to myself. You didn't. You had a massive row about it, and afterwards you didn't speak for months. You still weren't speaking when you were captured by the Cylons."

"We weren't?" Lee looked completely taken aback.

"You weren't. That's partly why Kara took your death so hard. She thought she'd lost her chance to make things right with you." Bill took a deep breath. "Lee, don't make the same mistake. We're still at war, and Kara's risking her life every day. You don't want to leave things like this between you."

He waited for a moment or two, but Lee didn't reply. Not that Bill had really expected it. Lee had never found it easy to give up his grudges.

He'd had two long years to learn that painful lesson.

He had stood up to leave when Lee finally spoke.

"Dad. Were Kara and I more than just friends?"

Bill turned to look at him. Lee's face was still set hard, but there was something like a plea in his eyes. The trouble was Bill wasn't sure exactly what he was asking.

"Well, I suppose you were. After all, she's really family, not just a friend. I think we've both thought of her as family ever since she was engaged to Zak."

He stopped. Lee had paled and was staring at him in utter consternation.

"Zak? My brother Zak? Kara was engaged to him?"

"Yes," said Bill slowly. He had a horrible feeling he'd just said something wrong. "She was engaged to him when he was killed. Didn't she tell you?"

"No," said Lee. His face abruptly shut down; Bill could see him retreating back behind his defences. "It seems there are a lot of things she didn't bother to tell me."

Bill decided it was best to leave before he made things any worse. This was why he usually left Lee and Kara to sort themselves out. They always did. Eventually.

Still, there was no harm in giving them a helping hand. He asked Dee to call Helo to his quarters.

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Helo found Kara easily enough. She was in the gym, punching the stuffing out of an unfortunate bag.

"Hi Kara. Are you pretending that's Apollo's head?"

She didn't look up, didn't even break rhythm.

"Mind your own business, Karl."

"Fair enough," he said easily. "I just thought you might want to talk."

Kara launched a punch that nearly sent the bag flying off its hook.

"Frak off, Helo!"

He went.

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Four hours later, he was reading a magazine in his rack when someone dangled a bottle in front of his nose.

He looked up to meet Kara's wary eyes.

"I thought I might take you up on that offer," she said awkwardly. "But only if alcohol's involved."

Helo looked at the bottle. "That the Chief's home brew?"

She nodded.

"Then I'm in."

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They went to her office. After three glasses apiece Helo judged it was safe to venture on the forbidden topic.

"So what's happened between you and Apollo?"

Kara looked down at her glass. "He found out about Sam."

Helo frowned. "Found out what about Sam?"

"He found out that he existed." Kara grimaced.

Helo stared at her. "You mean you hadn't told him before?"

Kara shook her head.

"Why the frak not?"

"I just…didn't think it was important."

"Well, it obviously was." Helo drained his glass. "Come on, Kara. Spill. There's obviously more to it than that."

Kara sighed. "Well…I may have allowed Lee to think that we were a couple. Before he lost his memory."

Helo decided he needed another drink for this. "And how exactly did that happen?"

"It was when he first woke up." Kara looked very vulnerable all of a sudden. "He asked me if we were friends and I said yes. And then – and then I remembered how I felt when he died. How much I wished I'd told him I loved him when I had the chance. And suddenly I couldn't leave it like that. So I told him we were in love."

"I see. And not unnaturally, he assumed that meant you were a couple," said Helo. He felt suddenly very tired.

"Well, yes."

"And you didn't correct him."

"No."

"Why on earth not? Kara, you must have known he'd find out the truth sooner or later! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't know!" she snapped defensively. "I suppose I just – I just couldn't face telling him the whole stupid story. I mean, first I have to explain about Zak. And then about marrying Sam. And then there's the part where I shot him-"

"I suppose it is a bit much to take on board all at once," Helo admitted.

Kara shot him a sarcastic glance. "You think? He'd have been running for the hills screaming after ten sentences."

"Okay, so maybe I can see why you didn't say anything at first," said Helo. "But why not later?"

Kara shifted uncomfortably. "I was going to. When he was fully recovered. I just – haven't got around to it."

"Right," said Helo sceptically.

Kara bristled. "I was going to tell him! I decided I had to after what happened in the observation lounge-"

Helo pounced on that. "The observation lounge? You mean when you kicked us all out so you could take Apollo in there on your own? What exactly happened?"

Kara shrugged, but she wouldn't meet his eyes. "Nothing. We were looking at the stars, and one thing led to another…"

"The things being Apollo's mouth and your tongue?"

Kara hit his forearm. "Frak you, Helo!"

He grinned. "Sounds like you're too busy frakking Apollo."

Kara glared at him indignantly. "We didn't-" She broke off abruptly.

He grinned at her. It was so nice to have her on the defensive for a change. "I see. Not yet fully recovered, is he?"

She gave him the finger. "Just shut the hell up."

Helo decided to give in. He'd had his fun. Time to move on before she blacked his eye. "Anyway, so you had an – encounter – in the observation lounge. And then a few days later he finds out about Sam?" He whistled. "Bad timing."

"That's not the half of it. He found out while I was visiting Sam on Colonial One."

Helo stared at her. "Why on earth were you visiting Sam? You haven't seen him for months."

Kara stared down at the table. "I was asking for a divorce," she muttered.

"Well, why didn't you tell Apollo that?"

"I tried!" she shouted. "But you know what he's like when he's angry – he just won't listen. Every time I tried to explain he cut me off, and then he said he didn't care about my explanation; all that mattered was that he'd trusted me and I'd lied to him – and he's right," she said, suddenly slipping from anger to melancholy. "He's completely right. I deceived him and I don't deserve that he should listen to me."

She trailed off, staring glumly into her empty glass.

What a mess, thought Helo. What an utter, frakked-up mess. Typical.

"Gods, Starbuck," he said. "You do like to make things complicated."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" screamed Kara. She picked up her glass and hurled it at the wall.

Helo flinched at the crash of broken glass. He looked wearily at Kara.

"Feel better now?"

"No," she said sullenly. "Oh, Karl!" Her eyes were suddenly very bright. "I just don't know what to do."

"I think you need to tell Apollo the truth about the past," said Helo slowly. "Explain exactly what's been going on between the two of you. Then he can decide where he wants to go from there."

"But how can I?" Kara demanded. "He won't even speak to me."

Helo put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You just leave that to me."

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"Helo." Apollo looked up and smiled as he approached. "Good to see you. Fancy a game of triad?"

"Not today." Helo took a seat. "I'm here to talk about Kara."

Apollo's face turned hard and unwelcoming. "Helo, it's really none of your business."

Not again. Helo sighed. Sometimes he couldn't help thinking Apollo and Starbuck deserved each other.

"Well, tough," he said exasperatedly. "Because I've got something to say and you're damned well going to listen to it."

Apollo glared at him but Helo ploughed on, ignoring him.

"Look, I don't know what was going on between you and Kara before you were captured, but I do know what happened when she thought you were dead."

Some of the anger faded from Apollo's expression, but his eyes were still hard. "What happened?"

"She went to pieces, that's what happened," said Helo angrily. His memories of that time were still all too vivid. "She couldn't sleep without taking pills because she had nightmares about you dying. She barely ate. She was half drunk most of the time, and if I hadn't covered for her with the Old Man he'd have had no choice but to kick her out. She wrecked her marriage because she wouldn't let Sam help her or even talk to him about what was wrong. And that was all because of you. Because she loved you so much she couldn't cope with losing you."

The hard expression had completely disappeared now. Apollo was pale, and his eyes looked stricken. "I didn't realise-"

"I know," said Helo, more gently. "That's why I'm telling you now."

"I just don't understand," said Apollo, looking bewildered. "If she loved me, then why did she-" He buried his head in his hands. "I'm so confused, Helo. I don't know what's true and what's not any more."

"Then let her explain," said Helo insistently. "Let her tell you what really happened between you. She's willing to do it if you'd just let her."

Apollo sighed. "I don't know. I just keep wondering if it would be easier just to leave it. To stay away from her."

Helo took a deep breath. "It might be easier, but I don't think it would be the right thing to do."

Apollo looked at him sharply. "Why not?"

"First because after all Kara's done to help you recover, I think you owe her something. And second – second because when you thought you were dying, the last thing you asked me to do was to tell Kara that you loved her." Helo met Apollo's gaze earnestly. "If you had your memory back, you'd be doing everything you could to fix things with her. Believe me."

Apollo just stared at him for a moment. Helo couldn't tell what was going on beneath those guarded blue eyes. He'd never been able to read Apollo very well. But at last the other man sighed and nodded.

"All right. Tell her I'll listen to what she has to say."

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Author's Note: I love Helo. After this I think Kara owes him a lifetime's supply of lollipops :-)