To FF . Net Readers: This story is dead, but I welcome anyone who would be interested in continuing it. For a time, I had very good reviews and very good thoughts about this, but I don't write fan fiction anymore. However, I felt that this was worth sharing, and I've still never seen another story like it.
-patchmonkey
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, Aa! Megami-sama, and associated properties are used in a derivative work without permission. Scenes a faire, character placement and wording, changes in personality, and specific situations as they differ from any extant work are non-infringing uses and are held with rights reserved to this author. Republishing of this work, without permission from the original authors or the derivative author is strictly prohibited.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Getting Home Wednesday
Fit the Second: Sigil
" Omnia Mutantur, Nihil Interit. 'Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost.' "
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In a small shrine not too far from the campus of Nekomi Technical Institute, which is one of the many fine learning institutions that pepper the Japanese cityscapes, there lies a quaint little temple. Inside this temple lives a meek, insecure student, his girlfriend, apparently a foreign girl, her sisters, one older and one younger, and a small, happy, hard-working robot. The two sisters, one platinum-haired and the other raven-haired had already started the day in their natural peaceful manner, as they would both hate to disrupt the serenity of the house.
"Listen, squirt. I'm not in any mood to put up with you today. I had a real bad night," began the elder. "I don't need you to be bugging me right now."
"Don't call me squirt, you hag! Urd, you're so mean!" replied the younger.
A voice came from the kitchen. "Keiichi! Urd! Skuld! Breakfast!"
"Coming Belldandy!" chorused 3 voices at once.
A few minutes later, the more organic members of the household were munching away on the breakfast that the girlfriend had prepared.
"Bell, this was wonderful! You make the best breakfasts."
"Thank you, Keiichi. That's sweet of you to say."
It was then that the three ladies fell to the floor and the man jumped to catch the one he loved.
Several thousand miles away, the intrepid party of Ranma, Ukyo, and Panda followed the guide to a village.
"What's this place we're heading to anyway? Women warriors? Like Amazons or something?" queried Ranma.
The guide had a surprised look on his face. "Young sir know of Amazons already? We heading to Amazon village."
"Ranchan, I'm so glad we went to Jusenkyo!"
"Right, Ucchan. Pop, I'm still not happy."
"Anyway, Sirs and Miss, today very special day. Today day of annual women's tournament! Few outsiders ever see."
Ranma's and Ukyo's faces perked up. "A tournament?" he asked. "Think they'll let us participate?"
"That's a bad idea, Mister Customer. Very bad you or Miss Customer win. Oh, look, we are here. Here Juketsuzoku, Village of Amazons. Have seat. Watch."
Back at the temple, Keiichi was finishing laying washcloths across the three goddess's heads. "Well, that was nice. At least it wasn't a space-time anomaly. I don't think I could deal with that."
He paused, considering what he just said. "I refuse to believe that I just said that."
Sitting down, he saw that the three had begun to stir and wake up.
"Bell! Are you all right?"
"Yes...no...Oh dear," spoke Belldandy. "That felt like..."
"An unauthorized usage of the ultimate force by a non-aligned being," Skuld finished.
Concluded Urd, "Wow...did someone get the number of that bottle? We gotta get more of that sake, Keiichi."
It should suffice to say that the temple's telephone began to ring, and Keiichi thought that this would be a perfect time to visit Australia. Or cower in the bathroom. Either one seemed acceptable.
Urd walked over to the phone. "Hello?"
"You don't say?"
"You don't say?"
Urd hung up the phone. "Who was that?" asked Skuld.
"I dunno. He didn't say."
Keiichi groaned. The phone began to ring again. "I'll get it this time, Sister," spoke Belldandy.
"Hello?"
"Yes, Father."
"I understand."
"Oh my."
"Very well. Goodbye, Father."
"What was that all about, big sister?" enquired Skuld.
"It appears that we'll be having some interesting company soon. You'll like the company a lot!"
"Oh! I better clean up Banpei then. Later!"
"Do I really want to know who's coming, Bell?" queried Keiichi.
Methodically, the guide began speaking. "This Amazon women's village. They might know more about your curses."
Ukyo grinned. "Do they know how to lock me in this form?"
"Ah! Look! They are starting!"
"Growf?"
"Shut up, pop."
In this quaint little village, there exists a square. Normally, this square had naught but a few children playing in it, or practising their less lethal weapons. Today, however, was vastly different. A log had been suspended in the air from two strong oaken posts set securely into the ground. Upon this log were two young women, approximately (to Ranma's trained eyes) the same height. One, with red hair, fought with a sword, the other, with purple hair used two rounded clubs that looked most unwieldy.
"I have to admit, though, that she uses those things pretty well," thought Ranma. Then he noticed Ukyo's expression. "Ucchan, what's wrong?"
"She's bigger than me! Waaaah!"
"Ucchan, you're very pretty. Please stop crying." Please god, let this work, he thought.
"You think so? Really? Thanks, Ranchan!"
Ranma looked up into the sky. Thank you, he mused.
"Hey! You! Silly dressed male! You with wear lots of black and leather belts! Shampoo give you pain!" The purple-haired girl began stalking towards the group. "Why you let your panda eat Shampoo's prize?"
"I'm not silly dressed. I'm not into the pain thing, really...and what panda? We don't have a panda. The only people here are me, Ukyo, the Guide, and Pop...who turns into a panda. Damn it, Pop!"
"Growf?"
"I challenge you, outsider male! You no offend Shampoo!"
"POP!"
"Ranchan!"
"Fine. This'll only take a little bit."
Murmurs quickly spread around the surrounding Amazons. The new champion had just challenged an outsider male, and he apparently had insulted her afterwards. The male and Shampoo approached the log, and jumped upon it.
"You know, I'm really sorry about my Pop. He's just too interested in keeping himself fed, and now he has all that extra panda blubber..."
"Hush! Fight Shampoo! Now!" yelled Shampoo as she swung her bonborri at Ranma.
Ranma leapt out of the way. "Well, that's not very nice. Anyway, me and pop and Ucchan came here to find out if there was any cures for that Jusenkyo place over there."
Shampoo charged, and went for an overhead strike, but Ranma was already gone. "And so that guide told us to come over here and talk to an elder."
"Shut up, male!"
The village was abuzz. The male the champion had challenged was acting as though nothing was going on, and attempting to carry on a conversation with her. That sort of thing had never happened before!
"But it looks like you're too interested in fightin' to have a conversation. Oh well," he said, looking over at Shampoo. "Mind if I borrow those?" asked Ranma as he deftly caught her bonborri and flipped it out of her grasp with simple ease as his countenance darkened and appeared to focus.
"How you steal Shampoo Bonborri?"
"You left an opening. And an opening is a very bad thing. You see, you leave an opening, I take your weapons. I take your weapons, and, as you are aweapons user, you're off balance. If you're off balance," he spoke as he kicked Shampoo off the log, "I kick you off the log, and you lose. Good match, by the way. That was fun," he added, as he leapt to the ground. Ranma leaned down to offer his hand to the purple-haired girl, ignoring the guide's warding gestures. She grabbed his hand, and pulled him to the ground, embracing him in that same moment.
"Hey! Wha? Stop! Donmmmmph! Mmmpphhh! Mmmmm..."
Just as suddenly, she released him. "Wo ai ni, Arien."
Ukyo perked up at that. Turning to the guide, she spoke. "Please tell me that doesn't mean what it looks like it means...and sounds like."
"Oh, Miss Customer very perceptive, no? Village champion just declare love for young Mr. Customer."
"Thank you. That's exactly what I wanted to hear," replied Ukyo with sarcasm.
Ranma, on the other hand, simply lay there on the ground, gasping for air. A second later, the air was rushing around him, as a panda grabbed him and Ukyo and began to high-tail it out of the village, dropping a small piece of paper on the way. A small woman on a stick hopped over, and picked it up.
The purple-haired girl walked over to the tiny woman. "Great Grandmother see that?"
"Yes. Well, great granddaughter, he certainly seems like a fine catch. And you can speak in Chinese, child." spoke the elderly lady in her native tounge.
"Aiyah. How are we going to catch him? His kiss...was...naughty and nice at the same time. That male was very powerful," continued Shampoo, switching to Chinese.
"In the morning, we shall go after them. It is more fun to hunt them down, anyway. I want to take a look at the boy as well."
"How do we know where he has gone?"
"Normally, you would have to track him down. But it appears that they have indeed been to Jusenkyo. The panda attempted to shove this in his pockets as he ran off," explained the woman as she showed the piece of paper to Shampoo.
"But pandas don't have pockets..."
"Exactly, great granddaughter."
Had either the old woman or Shampoo bothered to look around at this point, they would have noticed that several other of the young women were inching closer to where they stood. However, they did not.
"So, what does it say?"
" 'Tendo,' it begins, 'Bringing Ranma and his bond-sister. Be there soon.' It's addressed to the Tendo Dojo, in the Nerima district of Tokyo in Japan. We shall leave in the morning, and you will bring him back. You don't want to go to Jusenkyo again, do you?"
"No, great-grandmother."
"Very well. Go home, and prepare for the journey."
Needless to say, several other young women and one young man began making preparations as well.
(End Fit The Second)