Author's Note: Hello people! Here's another chapter for you guys. I will continue write stories like these, just to fill the comedy quota up in the Hey Arnold segment. Well, enjoy!
Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.
Episode 6: Curly the Flier
I
Curly was in his room, pacing back and forth in front of his desk. His desk was a complete mess, with a dirty mug, crumpled papers, stationeries, and numerous opened books on aerodynamics practically filling every space on the desk. Above the desk on the wall, there was a series of crudely drawn schematics and blueprints of his plans. The reason for his pacing around was because he worried that the plans might not come to reality. He had the resources, the technology, and the tools, but sadly he couldn't find a place to launch his project, literally. The trial run in the Principal's office was a resounding success, he would say so himself - only now he wanted to do the real thing.
Suddenly there was a knock on a door, and his mom showed up. "Curly, are some of your friends are here to see you."
"Tell them I'm busy mother, I don't have time to entertain their request." He replied back.
His mom sighed back, shaking her head disappointingly, "Honestly Curly, you've been holing in your room for days already. Try to get out and play sometimes. And I really hope you're not doing what I hope you're not doing: Your harebrained schemes are not going to work anymore." His mom then slowly closed the door, leaving Curly alone in his room. He then went over to the window and looked down below at the front door. From there, he could see Stinky, Arnold and Gerald sitting on the stoop, talking amongst each other.
"Arnold, I's still say that dis durn idea of yours is durn foolish." Stinky said to him. Curly couldn't hear their conversation, but he still kept an eye on them.
"C'mon Stinky." Arnold replied back, "Curly's our friend." Both Gerald and Stinky looked at him with an eyebrow raised, "Well, a weird friend, but still a friend nonetheless, and it's not right to single him out from playing baseball with us. Besides, we're short on players."
"Mmph, mmph, mmph!" Gerald hummed in disgust, "Arnold man, I'm sorry but I'm gonna hafta agree with Stinky. Curly's…" he then put his index finger on his chin, "how should I put it in a nice way… a psychopath! Remember them time when we play football for the fifth graders? Wasn't he be the one who took off with the ball in the last minute?"
"Yeah… but that was football." Arnold replied, "I don't think he'd do the same thing this time. Besides, he did us a favor by ending the game quick." Then, Curly mother showed up.
"I'm sorry boys." She replied, sighing, "He just wouldn't want to leave his room." Gerald and Stinky let a sigh of relief.
"It's okay Mrs. Gammelthorpe." Arnold replied back. "If he changed his mind, just tell him to head to Vine Street. We'll be playing baseball there."
"Okay. Thanks for inviting him anyway." Mrs. G replied. "You boys have fun now."
"Yeah, see ya later Mrs. G." Gerald said and replied. Arnold and Stinky did the same, and they left the house. After watching them walking away, Curly closed his window and went to the center of his room. He gazed at the schematics and blueprints, deep in thought. He then thought of Arnold, and his house. The boarding house flat, spacious rooftop was perfect for his plan.
"Yes… I can now set my plan into motion. I will announce to them all!"
II
Next day in the school cafeteria, lunch time…
"So Lila, what do you think of my plan?" Curly asked her after telling her thoroughly about his plans. "Pretty cool, huh?"
"Uh… to be perfectly honest Curly," Lila replied nervously, "I'm ever so sure it's not safe…"
"Oh come on. It's foolproof!" Curly exclaimed, "Here, let me give you another rundown of my plan." And while Curly tried to explain again his plans to Lila, Rhonda and Nadine were looking at them on a different table faraway from the both of them.
"Ugh, finally!" Rhonda said in relief while holding a sandwich, "He has finally found someone else to pester on other than me. What a relief!"
"Am I detecting jealousy here, Rhonda?" Nadine smiled, "Because I think—"
"Girl, please! What makes you say that?" Rhonda said back, "There isn't any jealousy coming from me, Nadine. And for you to even suggest that notion is just absurd." At this point Curly got up from his seat leaving Lila rather perplexed at his plans that might hurt himself if he insisted on doing it. He then walked over to Rhonda and Nadine to tell them about his plan.
"Hey there, Angel Face." He greeted Rhonda, which made her gag, "Hi Nadine." He greeted her, which made her smile wryly.
"Ugh, what do you want you troll?" Rhonda said repulsively in disgust.
"Why, nothing Babycakes. I'm just here to tell you this ingenious plan I have." Curly replied, smiling broadly.
"Well, let us see it," Nadine replied, just to be nice despite she had no interest of wanting to know of his plan.
"Nadine…" Rhonda scoffed, and she buried her face into her folded arms on the table, "You just had to encourage him, don't you?"
At the opposite end of the cafeteria, there be Arnold, Gerald, Sid, Stinky and Harold sitting together, discussing whatever's on their mind while eating their lunch. "You can't be serious, Gerald." Sid said in disbelief, "Just how many mag stash you found under your brother's bed again?" he asked.
"Hey you guys," Arnold suddenly interrupted them, "Why is Curly going on about to other people as if he's telling them something?"
"Hmm… Stinky pondered, replying, "I's ain't have the slightest clue."
"I kinda heard from Phoebe that he's trying to hurt himself with some dumb plan to make himself fly." Harold said to them.
"Fly?" Gerald said incredulously, "what, like in a simulator or something?"
"No, no. He's flying for real." Harold replied back.
Gerald lifted an eyebrow. "With what?"
"You know, that is an interesting question Gerald." Curly suddenly interjected as he slammed his hands on the table. "For I: Curly the Flier, shall give you the answer that you seek!" he then took a piece of paper out of his pocket and slammed it onto the table, and unfolded it. The guys who were far from Curly got up from their seats and peered closely at the piece of paper.
"I don't get it." Sid replied, shaking his head, "It kinda looks like a bird with tennis balls containers on its back."
"No you dolt!" Curly snapped back, "It's me with fire extinguishers on my back!" And everybody at the table stared quizzically at him.
"Why? Why in the holiest of holy you want to do that?" Gerald asked him.
"Okay, here's my plan, see?" Curly began to tell his plans to his friends enthusiastically, "I'm planning to fly around the city by using these two fire extinguishers as a medium of propulsion, or as I want to put eloquently: jetpacks. I got my inspiration from watching a late night 50's sci-fi movie."
"Curly, I don't think—" Arnold tried to interject.
"No, no. Let me finish first. The trial run was performed successfully by me in the Principal's Office when Mr. Simmons briefly became our principal. From there, I launched myself approximately 10 feet into the air and landed safely on the school playground jungle gym. Sure, I had minor head trauma and a fractured leg, but the experiment was successful nonetheless. So now I'm putting myself in the record books by being the first kid to fly around this city by using two jetpacks behind my back. Alas, I couldn't find a perfect launching base, but then, I remember your house, Arnold."
Arnold widened his eyes both in terror and shock, "My… house?"
"Yeah, don't you see? Your rooftop is the perfect place for me to launch myself into the sky. It's flat, it's spacious, and I really don't see any other place more ideal than your house!"
"NO Curly!" Arnold stood up and opposed to the idea greatly. "You're going to hurt yourself and I won't allow you to do it!"
"Aww c'mon, Arnold!" Curly pleaded, "Don't be such a spoil sport! You won't get into any trouble even if I hurt myself, which I doubt considering all the plans that I've made."
"No Curly." Arnold retorted back, "And I'm not going to debate this any further. You won't get the opportunity to use my house as a launching site for your crazy idea."
"But—"
"NO." And Arnold gave him the final answer, thus making any pleas from Curly to null. Curly was devastated and anger at his decision, and he began to narrow his eyes and look at Arnold in extreme detestation.
Oh, I get it." he said, "You hate me, don't you Arnold?"
"What?" Arnold replied in shock, "Where'd you get that crazy idea? I'm just worried that you might hurt yourself, Curly."
"No, that's not it. You've been helping almost everyone in class, but you never, ever, helped me. I think you despise me Arnold, and you do this just to spite me off." Arnold was getting more and more confused, "But regardless of your view towards me, I will use your rooftop with or without your consent. Good day to you all." He then left the table, leaving the boys totally confused.
"Dang, that fella needs help." Stinky shook his head.
III
"So Arnold." Gerald said as he put four spades card in front him, "Tell me again why we are playing poker on your rooftop?"
"Because…" Arnold replied, as he contemplated on which card he wanted to put, "I don't want Curly to trespass my house and go on with his crazy plan."
"Oh, so that's why you barricaded your fire escape." Sid said, waiting for Arnold to make his move. Arnold had barricaded his fire escape with junk he found at the attic.
"But one thing that I's can't understand Arnold," Stinky said, "Wut's gonna happen if there's a fire in ya house?"
Arnold then suddenly widened his eyebrows, in stunned of Stinky's question. He didn't think of that before he barricaded the fire escape. "Well, I'll just have to improvise then."
"Hmm…" Harold said, "At least it's breezy out here." It was agreed with from all of his friends. The boys, after a suggestion from Arnold, were playing a round of poker on the rooftop. They were sitting in a circle on the carpet covered floor, which Arnold was nice enough to consider placing it before letting his friends sit. Suddenly grandpa came out from door with milk and cookies in his hands.
"Hey there boys." He greeted, "Enjoying a rousing game of poker aren't ya?"
"Thanks for the snacks, grandpa." Arnold thanked him, as he passed the milk glasses down to his friends.
"I must say that this idea of yours is pretty darn good, Arnold. The fresh breeze, the open air…" Grandpa then took a deep breath and exhaled it loudly with a tone of satisfaction to it. "Hwah! It really does make you feel alive, doncha?"
"It sure is grandpa." Arnold smiled, replying back. "But all of these are only temporary grandpa. Until Curly has come to his senses, I'll have to stay up here so he couldn't hurt himself." Suddenly, a grappling hook was fired to the air and caught the ledge. With a sigh, Arnold got up said to them, "Let me handle this… and no peeking." And as Arnold walked unwillingly to release the grappling hook, the guys quickly went over to his cards and look at it. He should've brought them with him.
"Aww, c'mon Arnold!" Curly shouted from below, "Just this once!"
"No, Curly!" Arnold replied back, "Why don't you forget this whole thing and play poker with us?" he asked.
"No Arnold! I will not give up! I will fly from your house!" Arnold let out a snarling sigh and shook his head. He then went back to resume playing poker. "Hey, were you guys looking at my cards?"
IV
During the night, particularly this very late night, Arnold was sound asleep until he heard a loud crash coming from outside the house at the barricaded fire escape. Arnold quickly got up and ran to the window to the fire escape. Upon seeing who was making that commotion, he let out a heavy sigh and said to the trespasser, "Curly, go back home get some sleep. We have school tomorrow."
Curly was wearing black clothes, beanie and painted his face in dark colors at that time, for stealth reasons. He however overlooked the importance of being quiet. He stared blankly at Arnold, as he slowly put away his crowbar behind his back. "No…" he replied somewhat nervously, "I'm not trying to break into your roof. Nuh-uh. Nosiree. And I'm not trying to fly from your house either. I'm just here to enjoy a midnight stroll to clear my head for a while." He then gave him a smile.
Arnold could only roll his eyes. "Look Curly, it's getting late, and you're not making any progress in this plan, so you might as well go home get some shuteye. Goodnight Curly." he then shut the door.
But Curly still persisted, and said ,"But—"
"And I'm not going to help you with the barricade, either!" Arnold shouted back, as he collapsed on his bed and put his pillow on his face.
V
The next day…
"C'mon, Arnold!"
"No!" Arnold replied, trying to keep himself calm, even though he was extremely annoyed with Curly constantly pestering him to let him use his roof. Curly was following him all day today and even now Curly was right behind him, as Arnold quickened his pace to his home.
"Just this once!"
"No! I won't let you!" Arnold replied back, beginning to lose his temper.
"I'll give you ten bucks if you just let me!" And the both of them finally reached the boarding house.
Just before he entered his house, Arnold turned around and looked at Curly deep in the eyes, "Curly, I don't know how long you're preparing to keep up asking me like this, but I'd like to tell you that despite all of your pleads and begs and the times you grovel at my feet, the answer is still no, and forever be no. Don't you see Curly? Fire extinguishers are not designed to fly people around. They're for… you know, extinguish fires! Just think about it Curly, the idea of yours is just madness. You could seriously hurt yourself. Please, if you could stop pestering me, everybody wins here. Good day." And with that, without much of a protest from Curly or a raised voice from Arnold, he then entered his house and closed the door leaving the Curly standing alone on the stoop.
"Oh no, my friend." Curly said to himself, "I'm not giving up on my dreams…"
Arnold then walked to the kitchen and saw his grandfather rummaging the fridge, "Hey there Shortman. How's school today? Got into a fight with that one eyebrow girl again?"
"No. Thankfully, not today grandpa." Arnold sighed as he climbed on the seat. "But, I have a problem with one of my friends."
"Hmm…" grandpa said as he turned around with a bunch of food items in his hands and kicked the refrigerator door to close it. "Problem with Gerald again?"
"No grandpa." He replied as he grabbed a glass in front of him, "My other friend. He has this crazy idea of trying to use our roof like some sort of a launch pad or something so he can fly around the city with pair of fire extinguishers!"
"Whoh!" Grandpa bellowed out loud as he put all the food stuff on the table, "Ho ho ho ho!" he began to laugh. "Now that's one grand, vivid imagination if I might say so myself! You kids and your imagination never ceased to amaze me!"
"What should I do grandpa?" Arnold asked as he took a carton of orange juice out from the pile of food grandpa just put on the table, "He couldn't stop bothering me, and it's getting up to my nerves! I tried telling him not to do it, and he just wouldn't listen to me."
"Well Shortman…" Grandpa said, "I wish I could offer you an advice for this particular predicament, but I gotta admit, I'm intrigued to watch that fella do it himself…"
"What?" Arnold shouted in shock as he jumped out from his seat. "C'mon grandpa, you can't be serious?"
"Boy, let me tell you a story about a friend of mine called Leroy Jenkins. This is wayyyyyyyy back when I was a kid." So Arnold sat down and listened to Grandpa heavy-heartedly. "So this Leroy Jenkins fella claimed that he was the bravest of all the kids in the neighborhood. He said that he ventured into a cursed cave and actually went trekking in the jungle over yonder at the hills. But despite of what he said about his accomplishments, he never actually showed us any kind of proof at all. So one day, me and some my pals called him up and dared him to swim across the lake where Big Caesar resides. Now no one had done it before since they're afraid they might get eaten by Big Caesar itself."
"So what did Leroy say?" Arnold replied, eager to know.
"We weren't surprised that he accepted our challenge, so then off we go to the lake. Boy, did he look confident when we arrived there! So then he took off his shirt and he then took the first step into the lake. He stood at the edge, gazing deeply into the lake. It was some kind of a Nietzsche moment for us. Then, he turned around and looked at us. He drop to his knees and confessed to us that all of his stories of bravery were all hoaxes and lies. Then we laughed at him, and proceeded to beat the snot out him." Grandpa smiled and chuckled at the fond memories. "Ahh… youth."
"So what you're saying that I should let Curly do it, and see if he chickened out at the last minute? But grandpa, I think he's too determined to ch—"
"No, heavens no Shortman!" Grandpa protested. "I said that you should beat the poo out of him till his senses come back!"
"Grandpa…" Arnold narrowed his eyes, looking at grandpa disapprovingly, "You know I'm not going to do that…"
"Yeah, I know…" he replied back, sighing, "but it'd be fun to see you do that though."
VI
A few days later…
"How much for these cutlets, Mr. Green?" Arnold asked him. He was running an errand for his grandmother.
"Well, let's see here…" Mr. Green said as he put the cutlets on the scale. Suddenly there was loud knocking sound on the window. "Oh, for Pete's sake! Didn't I tell you not to knock the window, Sid?" Mr. Green yelled at him, who was outside asking for Arnold to come out.
"Hold those for a while Mr. Green." Arnold said as he ran outside. "Sid, what is it?"
"It's Curly man!" Sid said, as he pointed to Arnold's house. "He's on your roof, ready to fly! All the kids are at your backyard to watch him do it!"
"WHAT?" Arnold shouted in shock. And he and Sid quickly ran to the house. Upon entering, he saw Oskar putting a ten dollar bill into his wallet. "Mr. Kokoshka, I told you not to let Curly inside of the house!"
"But he gave me ten bucks Arnold!" he replied back, smiling innocently, "Ehehehheheh!"
Not wasting any more time Arnold quickly ran to roof's door while Sid walked over to the backyard, where most his friends were already there to see Curly's daredevil stunt in action.
"Five bucks said that Curly ain't gonna make it." Stinky wagered with Joey, as he nodded in agreement.
"Oh, this is so going to be awesome in my collection! I hope his cranium splits into two!" Rhonda exclaimed while holding her readily available camera.
"Man, I didn't know you're this sadistic, Rhonda." Helga said disapprovingly. Then there was a slight pause. "Make copies for me, okay?" Helga asked, and both of the girls smiled. It seemed that they had finally found something in common.
"I have my doubts, but if he really managed to pull it, it'd be the greatest legend ever." Gerald exclaimed.
"Like you, Gerald," Phoebe said, "I have my doubts myself. Taking his body and payload weight, the average velocity of his takeoff speed and the height of the building I'm afraid to say that I don't think he's going to survive at all…"
Arnold tried to use his body weight against the locked door to the roof, but to no avail. And due to the futility of his actions, he then tried to reason with him. "Curly! Please don't do it! You and I both know that you can't fly with those things!"
But Curly ignored him. He was determined. And the loud cheering from the backyard made him even more enthusiastic about his plans. He smiled a broad smile and walked up to the ledge to see the people down below. He raised both of his arms, and the crowd cheered wildly. He was happy to see people were supportive about his plans, unlike someone behind the door… And actually, the crowd wasn't cheering to support him, but rather want to see him hurt himself. Curly then picked up the two fire extinguishers that he had fashioned them into a jetpack, and put on his back. After making last minute checkups, he went to the ledge one last time to assess and calculate his trajectory. Between the ever enthusiastic crowd, Arnold's plea not to ask him to do it, the heavy weight of the extinguishers and the test run he performed in the principal's office, a sudden blast in his conscious alerted his instincts, and he began to have doubts.
The doubt intensifies as he began to sweat and tremble, and his vision became all wonky. The height from the top of the boarding house to the street level below made him nauseous. He felt dizzy. He then slow crept to the middle of the roof and sat there, in hoping that all these minor setbacks will go away. Suddenly there was a clicking sound at the door, and Arnold bolted out. It seemed that he used a key to open the door.
"CURLY DON'T DO THIS! THINK ABOUT YOUR PARENTS!" he shouted while running to him.
Calmly, Curly replied, "Yeah Arnold. You're right… I'm not going to make it…"
Arnold stopped at his tracks and stood while gazing disbelievingly at him. "What?"
"I miss calculated the weight of these fire extinguishers. It turns out to be heavier than I expected."
"So…"
"I'm not going to do it. Maybe some other time." He smiled Arnold, and he returned the smile back.
"I'm glad you came to your senses." Arnold said as he tried to get Curly up to his feet again. "Wow, you're actually using those rollerblades to help you to go faster?"
"Yeah. Like I said, I've thought of my plan thoroughly." Curly then put his hand on Arnold's shoulder and walked with him to the door. But due to his clumsiness, Curly accidentally let the extinguishers pack behind him hit a vent and its safety pin got lodged through the lever and promptly let the chemicals jet out of the hose, therefore jettisoning Curly to the ledge where he intended to take off earlier.
"CURLY!" Arnold shouted in fright.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Curly also shouted in fear as he went ever closer to the ledge.
"Hey look everyone!" Eugene pointed to the roof. "Curly's about to fly!"
"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And Curly fell down…
VII
A couple of days later…
"Good thing those bushes broke your fall, right Curly?" Harold said as he patted Curly's cast arm. "So uh… you're going to eat that?" he pointed to a bunch of hospital food in front of the bed. Curly couldn't nod, shook his head, speak or do anything as most of his body was in a cast, with the exception on the area around his nose and ears. The cast on his mouth had a little hole in it so Curly could be fed through the tube. So after a long pause, Harold said again, "So the long silence means no… right?"
"NO HAROLD! THAT FOOD IS FOR ME! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! IF YOU LAY A SINGLE FINGER ON THEM I SWEAR I WILL BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU!" Curly screamed in his mind, but unfortunately he couldn't speak his mind.
Misinterpreting Curly's silence, Harold assumed that Curly wasn't going to eat it, and joyfully shouted, "ALL RIGHT!" and ran to the food tray and immediately eat everything on it vigorously. Arnold, Gerald, Sid, Stinky, Nadine, Helga, Phoebe and Rhonda (surprisingly) could only shook their heads as they watched Harold gluttonously eat Curly's food.
Rhonda then resumed taking pictures of Curly in his bedridden state as she exclaimed, "Well, at least his temporarily paralyzed body can compensate the non-occurring split cranium! Man, this is so will go down in my life as my fondest memories!"
Arnold shook his head as he watched Rhonda showing no single amount of empathy at all to Curly. He then looked at Curly and put his hand on Curly's shoulder, "Hang in there, man. I hope you'll recover soon."
So remember kids: don't go jump off a building or anything. Thanks for reading, and please leave a review! I need a new catchphrase...