Disclaimer: The Lord of the Rings does not belong to me.
Pippin looks dreamily at a green frog on a lily pond.
"She's so beautiful ..."
Merry comes along. "Hey Pip! What're you doing?"
"I'm in love ..." Pippin mutters to himself.
"With who? Where's the girl?"
Pippin points at frog, "Isn't she beautiful?"
"Hell no! She's mean, green and ugly."
"Hey!" Pippin shouts, "She's actually a female hobbit changed into a frog by an evil wizard. When a person kisses her, she would change back into her original form."
"Where'd you hear that from?"
"It's an old Took legend." Pippin says proudly.
"I've never heard of such a thing!"
"Well, I'm going to kiss her now. If only she'll come closer."
Gandalf's singing sounds from afar.
"Hey, it's Gandalf!"
"Gandalf! Gandalf!"
"What is it?"
"Look, a frog!"
"What about the frog?" Gandalf asks.
"Pip says he's going to kiss her."
"Ah," said Gandalf, "I heard of a tale once. A girl lost her golden ring in a pond, and she asks a frog to help her retrieve the ring. It was said that if she kisses the frog, he will turn into a handsome prince, so she did."
"Who did the frog become?" Merry asks.
"Maybe it's Legolas!" Pippin exclaimed.
Gandalf shakes his head in a serious manner, "Gollum."
"WHAT?"
"Yes, yes, the frog became Gollum. The girl was so terrified she fainted and died. Gollum kept her ring, and it was his precious because it reminded him of her."
"You mean ...doesn't that mean Frodo destroyed the wrong ring?" Merry asks.
"What do you mean?" Gandalf asks. Then, his brain clicked. "Ahhhh! We destroyed the wrong ring! The one ring is still in Middle Earth!"
"Who was the girl anyway?"
"It was Sauri, Sauron's daughter." Gandalf replies.
"Oh, then it must be the right ring."
Gandalf nods, and smiles. "I almost had a heart attack."
"Anyway, Pip, are you still kissing the frog?"
The frog swims over towards Pippin. Pippin picks up the frog and brings his lips gingerly to the frog's mouth.
There was a blinding light.
And a female Uruk-Hai appeared.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
TO BE CONTINUED ...