Title: Better Never Than Bad

Chapter Three

By: LizD

Spoilers: Sometime before the ruination of Harm (prior to mid-season 7)

Notes: Sexual Innuendo done for fun.

Written: September 2003

Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.

Chapter Three – The Long Arm of Harm

Harm eased himself down into his chair. That was probably a mistake because he was not sure if he could get up. Last night after Mac left he went to the kitchen and before he knew what happened he found himself on the floor – the hard way. He slipped in the water left on the floor. How poetic. It was the water that started the mess and water that ended it. He must have wrenched his back in the fall trying to save him self. It took him a long time to get up. He lay there thinking about the previous hour. Was it a whole hour? Less than half an hour, come to think of it.

It started out as a working dinner with Mac. How did it all get so screwed up? He had no plan on nailing her that night. If truth were told he had pretty much given up the idea of ever hammering that nail home. He was fine with the idea that they would just be friends. Sure he was attracted to her – more than – and they did have the thing a few years ago, (well not really a THING, I guess it was more like a potential thing), but nothing came of it then and nothing would have come of it. They were past that, and NOT having the thing probably saved their friendship and their working relationship.

He stretched and tried to ease the muscles in his back. It was really too bad that the sex part sucked though. If it were good – even adequate - they could have laughed about it. Promised that it would never happen again. Become closer friends. Then in about three or four weeks it would happen again (better the second time around) and they would come to some sort of understanding that they would be occasional lovers (*&$# buddies) – friends, partners and *&$# buddies. Perfect. At the point in life they had reached that was more than either one of them had the right to hope for. It wouldn't change either of their lives – but it would scratch an itch that they both had – with no fuss, no muss, no one rearranging the bathroom. Perfect. But since it happened and it was BAD – VERY BAAAAD. What was supposed to happen next? They couldn't go back to being 'just friends'. What was he supposed to do with all the too-friendly feelings he had for her? After so much time, those feeling just don't go away after one bad experience. Just ask any guy.

The meeting he just had with her let him know in no uncertain terms that Mac wanted to sweep it under the rug. Not address it. Not deal with it at all. Hell, she didn't even want to acknowledge that it happened.

Everybody as you were, keep moving, nothing to see here.

Hell more than sweep it under the rug, she would probably ease back on their friendship, push him away, avoid him. Their working relationship would suffer and soon they would become enemies and she would blame him, she blamed him for everything … hell she probably blamed him for last night – all of it – from beginning to end. Yeah, that was just like Mac, taking no responsibility.

WELL SCREW THAT!!!

Why should he take all the blame? Why should he be punished for a mess that took the two of them to create? The blame would fall on him – naturally - him being the MALE, the HERO, the STAR. That was unfair. It takes two to tango and it takes two to tango badly. If they swept it under the rug, didn't talk about it and tried to put it behind them, it would eat away at them. It would ERODE their relationship – such that it was. Every little comment she would make would be full of innuendo, slams and slights (real or imagined). She of course would be allowed to say those things because she was the female (the WRONGED party), but if he tried the same thing, he would be ridiculed for being a macho chauvinistic misogynistic pig. So what if he was. Was he supposed to just stand there, be a target as she took pot shots at him for the rest of their lives? He was not alone in that bed. She had a part to play too. If it was bad – he would be damned if he would take all the blame. In fact she should take more than he should.

He heaved himself back in his chair. He had never had that kind of problem with a woman before. Most women were very satisfied – more than satisfied – they always came back for more. Reason number 918 that proved that Mac was not most women. No reason to think she was. She wasn't at the office and she sure as hell wasn't in bed. Doesn't she know her place anywhere? He is the man. He is the pilot. He is in charge of taking care of his plane, himself, and his crew. She was trying to fly from the back seat. Doesn't she know that a RIO is just a RIO and should only take over if the pilot was inadequate? HE WASN'T. If she had allowed him to take the controls; she might have enjoyed the ride instead of punching out at the first opportunity.

So there they were again, Mac and Harm both trying to lead and getting nowhere. It was a mistake, plain and simple. It was a mistake – but a long time coming. So they couldn't sweep it under the rug. Not after years of thinking about it. Years of keeping it at bay. Years of long lonely nights. That would just be adding injury to insult. He would have to force her to acknowledge and own her share of the responsibility.

He closed his eyes for a moment and snapped them back open. He saw her. Just as she was the night before – before the &%$ hit the fan. Soaking wet and laughing. What struck him last night and still lingered with him now was the curve of her neck. It had this sensuous slope that came down from her hairline behind her ear, over to her throat and down to her ample breast. That whole hairline-neck-throat-collarbone area drove him wild. With so much else to enjoy about her body, wasn't it funny that he would pick her neck? His only thought that night was that he had to taste it – it was good. A little soapy from the perfume and a little salty from the --- glow that women get (women don't sweat). Why had he never really noticed it before? Probably because never tasted it before. Of course it could have been because of her hair – sometimes long, sometimes short but always hanging around the neck and distracting his attention. She needed to either cut her hair or keep it pulled back. Of course, he wasn't about to tell her that now – not if they were going to work together. Just what he needed, to be watching her cross examine his witness and being completely distracted by the slope of her neck. Missing objections, loosing his train of thought, needing to stay seated until the feeling passed – no, no, that would NOT go over well. Maybe she could wear turtlenecks.

"Harm," Mac's voice cut the room. "Are we going to do this?"

"What?" Was she really asking him to do it –again? Here?

"Sturgis and the client are waiting for us," she walked away to the conference room. He pulled himself up slowly and followed after her.

Harm limped into the conference room and took his seat next to Mac.

Sturgis noticed immediately that Harm was limping and that there was serious tension between his opposing counsels that probably had nothing to do with the case. "You OK, Harm?" he asked. Mostly to put his client at ease they were all friends in the room. He cared about his friend, but not that much.

"Yeah," he groaned as he shifted position. "I slipped on some water on the kitchen floor last night. Wrenched my back pretty good."

"You'll need to be more careful. Water on the floor can be very dangerous," Sturgis warned.

"Can be downright deadly," Mac lobbed in Harm's direction as she looked at the client. Harm made sure to look away from her, but the shot hit its mark.

"So tell us what you have Commander," Harm steered them back on track.

"Well after talking with my client, his CO and they people involved – I think we should just let this one go. Charges never should have been filed," Sturgis was offering nothing. Another vote to let it be swept under the rug.

"Let him go. With nothing? Not a formal apology or a letter of reprimand?" Harm was appalled.

"I am sorry sir," the client offered but was stopped from saying more by Sturgis.

"You think this deserves to have a federal case made out of it? This was a simple -," Sturgis was cut off.

"Nothing is simple," Harm stated.

"The commander here feels that mistakes – no matter how insignificant -."

Harm snapped his attention back to Mac. "So now you are saying it was insignificant?"

"In hind sight I would say it was very insignificant," she blasted back. "In more ways than one."

"We never would have gotten here if you hadn't let us down this path Colonel," Harm lobbed back at her.

"Oh so now you are saying this is my fault," she turned completely toward him.

"Blame and fault lie with a number of people - ," Harm admitted.

"But not you?"

"Some people have a larger share than others," he nodded.

"It was an honest mistake, Harm," Mac was now focusing all her attention on Harm. Both Sturgis and the client were forgotten by the lovers – er, one-night-standers.

"Honest? Mistake? It was a fatal lapse in judgment."

"It was never close to being FATAL," she was shocked that he was taking it so seriously. "It is not that big a deal."

Bulls-eye to the Rabb ego. "Why isn't it a big deal for you, Colonel? Just too insignificant in your busy life?"

"I don't think it is worth the time and energy it takes to think about – there is no reason to throw away everything else over one stupid … mindless … unproductive mistake."

"UNPRODUCTIVE?" Harm leaned forward. "It produced more than you are willing to admit."

"Remorse has been expressed," Mac stated even though she knew that neither one of them had expressed remorse. "There is no reason to drag this out any farther."

"Remorse? REMORSE! Is that all it takes for you?" He ran his hand through his hair. "Screw up and apologize and we're all good?"

"Harm, I am saying -."

"Look, remorse, regret and apologizes are all worth the paper they are printed on if there is no REASONABLE assurance that --."

"I think it is safe to assume that everyone involved wishes that the situation never went as far as it did," she cut him off. "And we are all VERY clear that it will never happen again."

"You know what they say about assuming Colonel."

"Not this time."

"NO, that is not good enough," he slammed his hand down on the table. "There needs to be some restitution, some amends needs to be made. How can we be sure that the remorse is for the intent and not just the consequences?"

"How can you possible separate those two?"

"If the consequences were not so offensive, would it be attempted again?" he asked.

"That is a moot point in from where we sit today."

"What about the intent? This did not happen in a vacuum. What happened to that mind-set that led to the event? The intent was not to turn out as badly as it did, the fact that it did is beside the point – what is supposed to happen with all the feelings that lead up to the disaster/"

"They are washed away and forgotten due to the wretched outcome of the first attempt," she lied.

"First attempt? BAH. What makes you think this was the first attempt?"

"The first attempt that had any kind of follow through," she glared at him. "Regardless, the intent, the mind-set, the feelings that led up to the event are now materially altered."

"Because of the outcome?" He was floored by her comment.

"Because of the outcome."

"That is very shallow, Colonel." His words slapped.

"Shallow!"

"Now I see why you say it won't happen again."

"Trust me commander – IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN."

Just then the door slammed. Both Mac and Harm looked up confused. Turner was standing at the door – LIVID. He had pushed his client out so he could make one statement to them.

"GET A ROOM and GET IT OVER WITH, so we can all get on with our lives."

Turner slammed the door on his way out.

"Well THAT is not going to happen," Harm stated,

"Not again," Mac strode from the room leaving Harm frustrated and annoyed.

Mac was on fire. She was really mean. Was she saying that now that they had this awful experience all her feeling for Harm were gone? She could she really just shut off her attraction for him because she was not sexually satisfied on one night? Damn that is shallow. It was also a challenge. Harm hated to lose but for the moment, he no desire to play the game.