Spoilers: PS/SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, FB, QTTA.. Written between Goblet of Fire and Order of Phoenix.
Genre: Action, Angst
Era: Multiple Eras
Main Character(s): None
Ship(s): None
Summary: Siana Basilica has found the first of many answers, and Severus Snape has returned from his encounter with Voldemort. When Siana finds herself back at Hogwarts to continue looking for answers about her strange abilities, and her even stranger wand, she encounters a Snape entirely different to the one she knew before. The Death Eaters and Voldemort are hunting her, and she herself is experiencing unusual symptoms to the one thing that could possibly help her.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 4: The Third Transformation

'Oh for God's, by bloody, Artemis you shouldn't...dammit! ' Siana shrieked furiously as she threw her wand viciously against the wall and then kicked one of the cabinets that was nearby. The cabinet put up a brief fight by staying stationary, and remaining hard, and Siana whirled away, hopping on one foot, as her big toe flared with pain.

'Damn, damn, damn, damn...I don't care if cursing is wrong, I'm fucking cursing now. Damnit!' she shouted as she smashed her fist against the table and then collapsed into a chair, breathing heavily and seething with frustration that seemed to eat away at her insides. Her wand was still rolling across the flat, tiled floor, before resting in a grouted groove. Her fist had the decency to throb, as she wondered if throwing it against something sharp would make her brain work.

'How can I be so stupid?' she asked herself out loud. 'Oh I know...I'm Siana, comes part and parcel with the bloody ...' her fist smashed against the table again, '...territory. ' She snarled at the pieces of parchment on the table (and some of them now rolling off), she snarled at her diagrams, at her theory, at the intrusive recipe of the Insidious potion, and her new theory book...to work out how best to acquire the ingredients.

She jumped when she heard Gary clear his throat and walk in, holding a bottle of what could be nothing else but beer - it seemed he didn't stock any other beverage. He looked around the large room with some amusement, taking in her still clenched fist, the wand on the floor and the parchments that were still rolling onto the tiles. He cracked a grin as he handed her a bottle and then sat down beside her, rolling his eyes at the mess.

'Third time today I thought someone was killing you...figured instead of rushing in with the gun, I'd just come in with a beer.' He mocked and Siana narrowed her eyes at him, telling herself not to make an incredibly harsh comment, or slap him...or...whatever. She was never entirely coherent when she was working on making her theory, practical.

'Gary, shut up,' she said and drank a quarter of the carbonated liquid in one go. She was developing quite a liking for beer...perhaps because it had been forced on her so many times in the past few days that she could swear she didn't remember what water tasted like.

'I take it the theory isn't going well?'

'Oh. What made you guess that? The fact that I threw a tantrum?' Siana said, her voice acerbic. She growled at herself and then made a swiping gesture at one of the diagrams. 'I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. The theory is sound. It's almost exactly the same theory as when I learnt my second Animagus. And now...it's not working.' She snorted, flicked dry black hair away from her face, brittle because of the hot sun and the continuing abrasion of the weather conditions. Her eyes darkened angrily and she bit her lip. Gary was chuckling, she resisted the urge to smash her already sore fist against his laughing cheek.

'Have you tried doing the thing bit by bit?'

'What you mean, change my hand into a paw, change it back?' Siana said derisively. 'Of course I have. I might be generally moronic, but I'd like to think that I'd covered every avenue when it came to Transfiguration. I know what I'm talking about, and I know what I've covered. I can do this, ' she said, and promptly turned into a Protectus without a second thought. She changed back a moment later, looking particularly unruffled - though Gary was looking impressed - and sighed. 'I can do it, it's not that difficult. I don't know why I seem to be blocked. Perhaps a human just isn't designed to have that many animals in her head, but that's stupid, because wizards such a long time ago could do it.'

She sighed again and Gary stood, still looking amused. 'I'll just leave you to it then eh?' he said and she watched him go.

'Thanks for the beer,' she called, trying to muster up an ounce of cheer, which fell flat of sounding good-natured, and instead managed to fall into the niche of sarcastic. She winced.

Her temper was foul, as it had been since she found out she had to make the Insidious potion, or at the very least acquire it. Whilst ticking over when to take the Insidious potion (she had not yet taken it), she was ticking over theory, and whilst thinking about theory she had been formulating a plan in her mind. Her plan had forced her to start working much harder on her third Animagus, which would be the main component. Once she knew she could change into a third animal, she'd take the Insidious potion, follow the instructions, and get herself back to Hogwarts where she could communicate her idea to Dumbledore, and pursue her relationship with Snape.

She looked over her two diagrams. There was the detailed sketches of a cat and a fox there...she was trying for the cat. She see the point in changing into a fox when she could already become a protectus easily enough. She grimaced and traced her hand over the picture. You're not all that different to a fox, same long tail, perceptive eyes, strong sense of cunning, carnivorous nature. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, every time I change I can feel myself become a protectus, when I'm holding the picture of you clearly in my mind.

Siana retrieved her wand and pointed it at herself, squeezing her eyes shut and picturing a cat in her mind clearly. With a rush of concentration the wand seemed to shudder, and then a pale light shot out of it, into her sternum.

Her mind turned briefly exultant as she slowly changed, however about halfway through becoming a cat, her tail plumed, her claws stopped being retractable, she was changing into a protectus.

'No!' She wrenched herself out of the change abruptly, her eyes shadowed though not beaten. She raised her wand to throw it a second time when something stopped her. A glint of red, murky red. Insidious potion. The tiny phial was catching the light and glowing slightly. Siana grimaced, distracted, and walked over to it.

What monster is in you that runs through me now? Boggart, Mandragora...the workings of Uncle Frederick's mind. I forget that father pioneered you, for in reality it was Frederick who was the mastermind behind it all. It was he who you woke up to, muttering strange words and telling you strange ideas. Every time your mind cleared he would rapidly place you back into a sense of bliss...how many times would your head clear and you'd be scrubbing the floors on hands and knees? You were his servant, body and mind.

Siana sighed explosively, even looking at the substance bought back horrible memories of her mind being made that of someone else. The times between hypnosis and experiments were spent in a stupor of terror, after all, her father had been honestly violent and did not hesitate to cover her body with bruises. Uncle Frederick had been entirely different, the nature of his attacks were more personal, and more intrusive. All the more frightening for that reason.

The idea that she would be giving herself the potion of which most of her nightmares were made, terrified her. Yet at the same time, she was desperate to erase the effects of the potion from her body. The instructions Gus had given her on the recipe were exact, but at the same time, any side effects were not measured or understood. In other words, as Gus had been quick to point out, they had no idea how this was going to effect her.

The Insidious potion placed one under the mental control of whoever administered it. If Siana was administering it to herself, she would automatically go into a trance under which she had control. Her directions were to repeat every single hypnotic gesture that her father and Uncle had ever conditioned her with. Saying the words and copying the actions which had placed her under the control of her family, under the effects of the Insidious, would cancel out that control - as she would be borrowing the conditioning signals. Effectively, after that process had been followed, she wouldn't be vulnerable to hypnosis from her Uncle and father for a month, while the potion started a chain reaction of events inside her body which would scour out as much as the potion as possible, before she needed her next dosage.

Gus had also given her a small concoction which in very small doses relieved the effects of the Locarius curse. For this she had been incredibly grateful. She could now go to Hogwarts, or in fact anywhere, and not worry about being paralysed by its unrelenting pressure. The only problem of it all, was the fact that she hated potions, and what they could do to her.

Siana sighed again and turned on her heel. Maybe she had to approach the Transfiguration different. Maybe she had to change each part of her body gradually - though that would require more effort on her behalf. Maybe it was worth changing into a Protects, or even a fruit bat, and then changing into a cat. I have no idea, what would Severus do?

Well, probably roll his eyes and tell you to grow up. An ache started in her gut, she didn't understand why it hurt so much to think about him. At first she thought it was just guilt, guilt about Lydia, but on closer examination it was more. Perhaps it was because of the kiss, the fact that he'd said he trusted her. Would he still trust me now? Now, after almost killing him? After he went to Voldemort so that I might perchance, live? He was never rational. At least I won't have to go through his death threats again, we're past that now. He was quite frightening when he wanted to be.

She walked to the diagram of a domestic feline, a black cat which would inevitably have violet eyes or at the very least, violet tinted whiskers. Because I'm a big thunking genetic defect that's why. A Basilican woman. She changed her hand into a cat paw after concentrating briefly. This was the hard part, keeping it as a paw, when the rest of her was human.

Taking a deep breath she changed the rest of her arm. Easy. Her forehead furrowed, holding the shape was difficult, it felt wrong, and she'd never tried to wholly transfigure bit by bit before. She closed her eyes now, willed the rest of her body to change, and slowly it happened. Black fur sprouted like freakish stubble along her body, her spine tingled as she grew extra vertebrae from the base of her spine. Her nose became suddenly very sensitive - a cat's nose, different to that of a Protects - geared towards the scent of meat. Her ears became prominent, important, hearing things her human self could not. Her organs shifted, her throat box changed, it was done.

I've done it.

Yet just as she felt triumph sink into her, her claws shifted, something went wrong. Her organs shifted and Siana panicked, and with her panic came an abrupt, if nauseating change back into the shape of a human.

'Oh,' Siana said briefly, shaking her hands uncertainly. She wasn't certain if that was a cause for celebration or not. But at least I know that I can be a cat, at least I know I can fully change into one. Now all I need to do is hold it, for five minutes. Do it again.

And so she did, she concentrated, the changes came a lot faster this time. Now that she knew how it was supposed to feel combined, the cat organs, the cat fur, the cat limbs, it was coming to her much more easily. This time, she became a black cat with difficulty, but not near as much as before, and she held onto the animal until she felt her organs shift again.

She changed again, checked her watch and felt elation zoom through her. It bubbled in her, yellow in it's brightness, matching the heat of the Australian sun for strength. Satisfaction rocketed through her so violently that she was spinning around the room before she knew it.

'Look at me! Look at me! I'm a cat! Weeee...' She trailed off in excitement as she whirled around the room. 'I've just made my theory real! Wait until I send this baby to Transfiguration Today! I'm a cat! I'm a cat!' She spun some more and continued to bounce around in excitement. 'Hah! I'm the best, I'm the champion, oh yes, how I am the Transfiguration champion. Doesn't matter if I suck at everything else, because I've just become a miracle worker!' she shrieked happily.

Siana calmed down eventually, breathing hard, feeling triumphant. Her eyes flickered over her diagrams and a knowing smile came over her face.

That means that my plan will work, that means that I can go back to Hogwarts, it means that I'm not a danger any more, it means that I can help, instead of hinder. I'm finally something important. I hope this will help.

Now, to practise. I want to get this cat smoothly, and properly in future.

Five hours later, she was satisfied with her progress but thoroughly exhausted. She had made minor alterations to her cat self, changing the eyes to a more acceptable yellow, and permitting no signs of violet on her body whatsoever. That had been incredibly difficult. Now, she was ready to call it a day, and after packing up all her equipment and her wand, she moved out of the room she had been practising, into Gary's house.

'Didn't realise you worked so hard, thought Transfiguration was just a matter of...' Gary clicked his fingers and took a beer out of the fridge for her. Siana smiled gratefully and stretched, her body was aching.

'I'm leaving tomorrow morning Gary,' she said as she flexed her muscles. 'It's all worked out much better than I hoped. I've just got to do what Gus said tonight, and then I'll be heading off back to colder weather!' she said, squinting as the sun poured in through the outside weather. She considered shaking a fist at it, but that would be ineffectual, and her muscles were too tired anyway. She had given them a very decent workout. Transfiguration Today once had an article that the act of Transfiguring actually keeps one fit, as it exercises the muscles - Siana was apt to agree.

Gary looked a little disappointed. 'I wanted you to stay a little longer. It was nice having a female around, ain't been one of those in the place since Meg left. I suppose you have to go though don't you? Being all pioneering when it comes to changing around and stuff. You still got that library to look after?'

'It's taking a really long time to get our inventory back together Gary, most of our books were incinerated.' Siana winced. Incinerated, and first I had thought it was the entire fault of Macnair, but no Frederick, you had something to do with it too...and for years you said you loved those books. You bastard. Then again, for years you said you hated Death Eaters, and now look at you. I hope you're betrayed into the ground by your peers, I hope they fuck you over so badly you find solace in Cruciatus, and security in Avada Kedavra.

'Must've hurt you really bad,' Gary was saying slowly and Siana snapped out of her hateful thoughts. She blinked rapidly and then smiled.

'Oh well! I'm so sore hey, but at least I know I can do it. Hey Gary?' Siana said, thinking about something quickly.

'Yeah?'

'Keep it quiet for now won't you? No one else needs to know. No one. I mean it Gary,' Siana pressed, her voice taking on a steely edge which seemed to taint it frequently nowadays. Stress, worry and the sense of determination that she now held even closer to her breast covered every word she spoke. Gary was nodding, vigorously.

'Listen, Siana, nothing to worry about hey. I can keep a secret. I'm friends with Ollivander aren't I? And he can keep a thousand. Us wand makers and sellers keep to ourselves. I got no reason to tell anyone else. I don't even care, it's just shapeshifting. So what? I can't do it. I'm going to give you an example now. Say I find a very very special wood, it's going to change the world, and I tell you that I've found this special piece of wood...well...would you care? No. Well, you'd be mildly interested. It's only important to others like me, Siana. My point is...'

'By Artemis, I hope I don't talk as much as you talk,' Siana said with a wry smile and leaned forward slightly, smelling leather, sweat, pine resin and something a little more musky. Her eyes drifted shut and she pecked him gently on the cheek, expressing her gratitude. When she pulled away, he was looking at her in surprise. 'Now then. I'm going to go and get this organised, I'll see you in the morning okay?'

It comes down to this. You take both potions, and just ignore the way they make you feel. I hate potions, I hate them. They make me feel like I'm dying on the inside, and they're so overwhelming. Every day, with Dad and Frederick, it was the same thing, that burning sensation. Severus said that the ingredients in the Insidious were fatal, they stayed in the blood stream, they tampered with other potions...and they tamper with my intent.

And so, I'm going to have to put up with that burning sensation, that fizzling of my insides aren't I? Because that's the only way I know how to get rid of their influence of me.

And fuck them, that I have to do this in the first place. In some ways I wish Uncle Frederick was in front of me right now so I could curse him, and know that my irrationality would probably cause the spell to kill him. I hate this, I hate what they've turned me into. I am a murderer, Dumbledore was wrong. I have murderous thoughts, and Lydia...all those years ago. Look what I did to her. I'm a horrible person. I'm just like them. Just like them.

I'm scared.

Scared that nothing will change. I mean, once I've taken the potions and burnt all their influence out of me...I'm scared that I'll just be horrible at heart. A murderer, a coward.

But if I do this now, I'll be able to go back to Hogwarts. And even though Dumbledore was wrong, I like him. And I can see Severus, and even though we don't have the best of relationships, at least we get along with each other.

So close your eyes, and swallow...then follow the instructions.

Siana pinched the bridge of her nose, closed her eyes and in quick succession placed a drop of the potion that would stem the effects of the Locarius spell, and then the small amount of Insidious inside of her mouth. Then she swallowed.

The burning sensation was immediate. Frightening. She choked hoarsely and her eyes flew opening, pupils dilating. Cold shivers crawled along her skin as her blood seemed to heat inside of her. It was a sensation she well remembered, and the fear that clawed at her, the fear that irrationally told her she was about to placed under the control of someone else, made her panic. She flailed, brutally smashing her hand into the phial and breaking it, ramming pieces of glass into her thigh. She whimpered, keened softly...and then...

Then she slipped into a numbness, the numbness which normally signalled the end of her awareness. Only this time, for the first time, instead of falling under the control of her father and her Uncle, she was now incredibly aware of her body. Well...well here I am. It was a strange feeling, like there was nothing else in the world but her, and her thoughts, emotions, physical self. No wonder the Insidious works so well, nothing else can influence me but me...in the past...nothing else influenced me but Dad and Derrick. Hah. Look now. I'm going to start a sequence of events which will hopefully be the beginning of the end.

Slowly, clearly, ignoring the trickles of blood that were moving down her wounded thigh (she felt no pain), she raised her hand. Her sight was clear. And begin.

Her hands wove strongly through the air as she repeated all the signals that she had learnt, all the signals which in the past had made her vulnerable to hypnosis. With each signal she completed, something seemed to unlock inside of her, a faint sensation that seemed to unleash whispers which were vague, vague and enticing. The fear left, there was no room for fear under the influence of the Insidious potion, just before and after.

Then the audio cues came next as she pronounced each one as forcefully as she could.

She faltered when she came to the one that Frederick used all the time, it seemed wrong to take control of something which he had controlled for all her life, like she was doing the wrong thing. This is the right thing though Siana, you know it. Come on, just take a deep breath, and say the words...think of it as empowerment, or some shit like that. Something like that. Come on Siana. Come on. You're not frightened, just unsettled. You don't have to be. This is easy. Easy.

'You're mine...to do with as I please,' she said, her throat hoarse around the words.

That was it, all the cues. She took a deep breath, feeling a little nauseous and shook her head. Come on, wear off. The effects were already starting to drain, she was aware of the pain in her thigh, aware of the pain in her aching muscles, and aware of a new and faint burning sensation that seemed to move through her body.

She cleared her throat as she gingerly pulled out pieces of glass from her thigh. Her muscles were so sore from all her shape changing that she couldn't be bothered having a shower, or bathing, or even getting up and going to the bathroom where the light was better, so she could make sure there was no more glass on her. Pain seemed to dim in comparison to her tiredness, and to her relief. Aside from the faint burning sensation moving through her body there were no other side effects.

Siana smiled lazily, despite the traumatic event of swallowing the Insidious potion, she was still basking in the relief of knowing that she could Transfigure into a cat. Pleasure at the knowledge that she was going back to Hogwarts masked over everything else that seemed to be going through her mind.

Carelessly she wiped glass off her bed and then burrowed between the sheets, her eyes drifting shut, sailing into the abyss of sleep. Sleepily she murmured to herself:

'Well, I've started it now. I have one week...to either find the Insidious potion, get someone to make it for me, or the most unlikely, make it myself. A week...I can do that.'

For the first time in weeks, she slept a deep sleep, with a content smile on her face.