Part Four

"I thought I'd lost you," Phoebe whispered in Coop's ear as she tightly held onto him.

Still in shock from his physical and emotional ordeal, he managed to tell her, "You'll never lose me, Phoebe."

Almost immediately, Phoebe shoved him back, "Why the hell didn't you warn us about leeches that could attack at any time? Didn't you think we'd be able to protect you? Didn't you --"

He cut off her rant with a kiss. A kiss he thought he'd never feel, taste, again. Breaking for air, he cupped her face between his palms, "I love you, Phoebe, and nothing will ever change that."

Placing her hands on top of his, pressing his harder against her skin, Phoebe gazed happily into his eyes and was in the midst of echoing his statement when she saw something else reflected back at her. Confused, she reached out emotionally and flinched when she was met with anger. "Coop?"

"Don't be afraid," he assured her, "it's what's left from the leech. But I can overcome it. I won't be evil." He brushed his thumb along her cheekbone and, it wasn't five seconds before he saw realization dawn in her eyes. His hands dropped from her cheeks to her elbows to keep her in place, "It's okay, Phoebe. I swear it's okay."

But she broke free anyway and demanded, "Where is he?" Scrambling to her feet she towered over him, "Where's Coop?"

"Phoebe, you're hurt," he pointed out in dismay as he got to his feet. As if on cue, she swayed but slapped away the hands he reached out to steady her. "Call Leo back. You're bleeding."

"Get the hell away from me," she ordered. But almost immediately, she threw herself at him and began pounding his chest, "What'd you do to him? What'd you do to my husband?"

Submissive to her attack, he stood his ground and, in a quiet voice, answered, "I'm here, Phoebe."

"You're not my husband," she accused. "You're not even my ex-husband. You're dead and gone and I'm married to Coop."

He gripped her shoulders lightly and insisted, "And I'm still here…We both are."

Glaring at him, she suddenly saw the truth reflected in his eyes and her anger immediately melted into confusion. Her knees buckled, "I don't understand. How is this possible?"

Guiding her to the floor, he sat facing her, keeping hold of her hands. "It's complicated."

"Explain anyway," she quietly told him, her gaze glued to his. "I need to hear it all."

"The leech caught me by surprise," he recalled, "and I didn't have a chance."

"But you're still here," she whispered, "with Cole? I don't understand."

"I broke away once but I didn't expect the pain as the leech ripped me up and, as soon as it hit my neck, it was over," he said as he tugged her into his arms. He realized it was only fear and exhaustion that overrode her temptation to fight him. Somehow, he felt it. Unconsciously he began to lightly stroke her back while she trembled. "I was overwhelmed by hate and pain and fear and I could feel my soul being sucked away. I closed my eyes, unable to fight any longer, and, next thing I knew, I was in limbo."

"Limbo?" She struggled in his arms but he held her tightly and she reluctantly gave in to the comfort. It was too much. Coop had been attacked in their home and ended up in limbo. "Limbo for the lost like when Piper was in limbo?"

"That limbo," he confirmed. "I was already there, of course, and --"

"I don't understand, Coop, how were you -- oh, you mean it was you, Cole." She shook her head, nuzzling it against his chest, "This's so confusing. Wait a minute," she suddenly raised her head, "you were already in limbo? You were there the whole time? Did you know what happened to Pi--omigod, you're the old friend! You're the one who helped Piper and Leo! Why didn't she tell me?" Without thinking, she slapped his cheek, "Why the hell didn't you?"

Bringing a hand to his stinging cheek, he couldn't help but grin, "That might've been one reason."

"You're amused by this?" she retorted as her hand shot out again.

But he caught it before she struck and, instead, leaned forward and kissed her hard, wanting to force her to remember the passion they'd once shared. But his own anger and frustration eased as he felt her struggle shift from anger to love and longing. Tenderness replaced roughness and, finally pulling away, he corrected her, "Not amused, grateful."

Phoebe brought two fingers to her now puffy lips and, slightly dazed, repeated her request, "Just tell me how you're here. How you took over Coop's body."

He thought for a moment before he finally said, "There shouldn't have been any reason for Coop to end up in limbo while Cole, on the other hand, was there atoning for a lifetime of evil."

"Helping lost souls caught between life and death," she murmured, trying to remember everything Piper had said.

"He was there because of you, y'know." When she stiffened, he clarified, "Because of your love. And because he loved you, there was still a soul to save. So he was in limbo. No conflict, an eternity to reflect and regret, but no conflict."

Phoebe glanced down at the floor and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Tipping up her chin with his index finger, he gave her a smile, "I'm not. Things happen for a reason, Phoebe. You're the one who taught me that. Limbo was where Cole needed to be. And then Coop figured out the reason he was in limbo was to help Cole."

"But why in your, I mean Coop's, body?" she wondered. "Couldn't we have set Cole's soul free or something, like we did for his father?"

Caressing her cheek, he shook his head, "Coop wouldn't have recovered from the attack. The only way to save him, the only way to save us all, was for Coop and Cole to merge souls."

Drawing herself back, she warily questioned, "What do you mean 'us all'?"

"Obviously Piper didn't tell you everything about limbo," he said before raising his hand to ward off her interruption, "because otherwise you'd have known that you were the main reason why I helped her. You needed to believe in love again and if Piper had lost Leo…"

She nodded but uneasily asked, "So what's that got to do with now?"

"After everything you'd been through," he carefully replied, "all the love you'd had and lost, what would've happened if Coop had died?" Before she spoke, he added, "The truth. What would've happened?"

"I'd've died too," she whispered, hugging herself. It had come so close to happening. When Coop was dying, she knew she wouldn't survive either. If he hadn't, if Cole hadn't... "Oh, God," she uttered before the tears fell.

He wrapped her in his arms and held her as she cried. She needed time before she could hear the rest. So he closed his eyes and merely provided comfort as best he could, all the while fighting his own inner demons that were taunting him.

She felt his struggle, his yearning to love and protect against the urge to hurt her. And she instinctively rubbed his back and murmured, "It'll be okay."

Surprised by her actions, he straightened and abruptly pulled back. "I hate it when you read me like that."

"Like what?" she wondered in confusion.

"Like you know everything I'm thinking, feeling." He quickly got to his feet, "Stay away from me. Leave me the hell alone."

"No," she argued softly, "I won't, not when you're hurt. Let me help you."

"Who?" he challenged. "Cole…or Coop? You can't help one without the other, y'know. You can't want to save just one of us. And if you want to hurt one, you hurt both. Although maybe that's what you want. Maybe some revenge for the past. Maybe you'd rather sacrifice us both for you to finally be rid of --"

"Stop it!" She covered her ears with her hands, "Stop it. Why are you doing this to me? Haven't you hurt me enough? Haven't you scared me enough?"

Holding his hand out to her, he apologized, "The leech's energies are still so strong. That wasn't me."

"Wasn't who?" she complained as she stood. "How do I know where Coop begins and where Cole ends? How do I --"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed with frustration. "I don't have the answers, Phoebe! Hell, I didn't even want this to happen but it was the only way to save you! You're not the only one who has to deal with our decision. Both Coop and Cole have to adjust too. We have to learn how to be one person so is it really too much for you to give just one damned ounce of support?"

She hung her head, "I'm sorry." Without thinking about what she was doing, she stepped close to him and slid her arms around his waist. "I'm so sorry."

"It was Coop's idea," he quietly told her as he accepted her warmth and affection, "but Cole agreed even at the risk of you kicking us out of your life for good."

"I'd never do that," she shook her head.

"To Coop?" he considered, "Probably not. But to Cole? I'm not so sure."

She arched back to look up at him, "But you're the same person now, aren't you?"

"Our souls merged into this body," he nodded, "and we've still got our memories. It's just that the lines blur. Coop can recall something Cole did as clearly as if he had done it himself."

"Even…" Phoebe couldn't finish the thought.

But he knew what she'd been thinking and nodded, "Even as Belthazor or the Source. But the reverse is also true. Cole can remember and feel the gratification of helping two people fall in love as surely as if he'd been there."

"Complicated," she sighed before she stepped out of his arms and a few feet back. She gazed at him for a long moment before admitting, "I'm not sure what to do next. I know you want support but I'm…This's…It's just so…"

"Tell me," he encouraged, though remaining at a distance.

"Cole was," she thought for a moment, "he was the love of my life. I've never loved another man the way I loved him, not even Coop. But there was so much anger and fear at the end that I barely recovered what happened to us, to him. Eventually I did and I found love again but it wasn't until Coop that I realized my heart was still closed."

"Drake?"

"Drake helped," she acknowledged, "and there are times I regret we didn't have more time together but that only proved my point. Why let someone into your heart if they only break it?"

"Oh, Phoebe…"

She felt his pain on her behalf and wanted to close the gap between them, to have him wrap his arms around her and tell her this was nothing but a bad dream. But it wasn't a dream, it was real, and she stayed where she was as she continued, "Coop opened my heart and, despite my best efforts not to, I fell in love with him. And my love only grew with each passing day. And now you're telling me that the only way to save Coop was for Cole to come back? How do I live with both of you without betraying one of you?"

"I don't have the answer, Phoebe," he shrugged helplessly. "All I ask is that you listen to your heart."

"I need time," she said as she backed further away. "Forgive me but I can't be here right now. I know it's terrible of me because I'm your wife and because you need to fight the leech's effects but I can't help you. I'm not strong enough. I'm sorry. I'm so…I'm so sorry…"

He didn't say anything and he remained his spot while she fled the room. As disappointed as he was, he actually understood and wasn't about to make matters worse by going after her. That's where Cole had screwed up after escaping the Wasteland. This time he'd give Phoebe the time she needed. But Phoebe wasn't the only one who needed time. "And I may as well start using it right now," he said to himself as he concentrated on transporting himself far away from the manor.

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