Spoilers: PS/SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, FB, QTTA.. Written between Goblet of Fire and Order of Phoenix.
Genre: Action, Angst
Era: Multiple Eras
Main Character(s): None
Ship(s): None
Summary: Siana Basilica has found the first of many answers, and Severus Snape has returned from his encounter with Voldemort. When Siana finds herself back at Hogwarts to continue looking for answers about her strange abilities, and her even stranger wand, she encounters a Snape entirely different to the one she knew before. The Death Eaters and Voldemort are hunting her, and she herself is experiencing unusual symptoms to the one thing that could possibly help her.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 5; Recruitment

What are they playing at?

What foul, insipid, disgusting game do they think they are playing at? They have taken the game of war and made it into a game of jesters and troubadours. I would not connect myself with them, but I was one, I would hate Frederick, but it would mean that I have to hate myself.

No matter. I do.

It is bad news indeed when I am informed by the apothecaries that there is a serious shortage of Boggart and New Zealand Mandragora. It can only mean one thing, that someone is making the Insidious potion, in large quantities. It can only mean that Voldemort trusts the bastard Frederick, though I know that, really...and that Frederick is soon going to be able to hypnotise whomever he can get his hands on, with minimum effort.

Maybe Siana ran to Voldemort after all, and decided that she would help them too. Maybe they've developed more horrific potions. More potions which take forever to find antidotes to. Maybe he wants to poison me again. How dare he? How dare he consider himself to be better than me in the realms of potion making? It is not possible. I have worked far too hard, too long.

Svelte. No. Can't think about that now. Not in front of Dumbledore. He'll see, he'll know what's happened. I hope, I wonder if I should have left her at all, if it hadn't been for the fact that this is so serious...no. No I don't care. I don't care. Why would I care about a fox?

Why wouldn't you? Why are you so petty with your hatred that you would resent a creature that is innocent? Flawed only in its naivety? And yet even then is it flawed? Look what you did to it, introduced it to a world of corruption. You're disgusting. Disgusting. Do you hate yourself? It's not enough is it? Find all the hate in the world, and yet you deserve more for what you are. You're a monster Severus. A monster.

And sometimes when I close my eyes I hate myself not only for being who I am, but also for what I see. For my weakness. They're all scum, all my weaknesses have been nurtured by the Basilican line. Sometimes when I close my eyes I see Ly...no. Stop it. Don't think about her. And yet, when I'm not thinking about her I'm thinking about the pain in my last visit. I think in truth that I would prefer to be cursed a thousand times with the Cruciatus curse than suffer the humiliation that Frederick inflicted upon me.

All her fault. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be enduring the misery of a potion I have no cure for, I wouldn't be enduring the agony of knowing that my body can be violated so freely, so viciously, by one who is so loathsome to me.

No one must ever know what he did to me there.

Not one person.

'Severus this is a serious matter.' Dumbledore was saying, looking at the pieces parchment in front of him. One coloured unhealthy grey, from Zirs Apothecary, the other coloured white, from Diagon Alley, and even another, coloured green, from an Irish apothecary that specialised in herb products and excluded animal products. Then there was the final parchment, from the Registry of Potions, declaring an international shortage of ingredients...stating in a serious tone that any Boggarts found should be sent to them for harvesting, and any stores of New Zealand Mandragora should be used wisely.

Severus nodded curtly, but said nothing. The Headmaster would elaborate, and there was no point in saying anything else until he did just that.

'I will need to inform the others of the dangers of the Insidious potion then, if they are captured, they will need to know what they are up against.'

'If they are captured Headmaster, and return alive and filled up to the brim with hypnosis, then you can be rest assured that Voldemort has decided to go ahead with some sort of plan. However, if he kills the others, you'll also be reassured with the knowledge that he's decided to go ahead with some sort of plan.' Snape's voice was irreversibly bitter, almost strained. He did not care much for the others. The old crowd. The ones who for the most part seemed to get along, were friends with each other. Severus was like the potion wielding body guard, dangerous and deadly.

Never friends.

'I get the feeling Severus, that you think Voldemort has a plan.' Dumbledore said with a mild twinkle in his eyes. Next moment however the twinkle faded and a fire kindled, low and hot. Severus couldn't predict when the atmosphere went from almost comfortable to intensely discomfiting, however change it did, and he suddenly found himself unable to hold Dumbledore's gaze. He looked away, shifting a little as he did so, hating himself for his weakness. I have power, if I really wanted to I could betray you. If I really wanted to I could hate myself more than I do now. If I really wanted to, I could become a shining nice person who loved Gryffindors and wanted nothing more than to become Potter's happy brat of a friend. There are some things that will never come to pass.

He swallowed when Dumbledore cleared his throat, silently inviting Severus to meet his gaze again. He did so, slowly, with as much dignity as he could muster. He stole himself against the guilt that suddenly seemed to shoot through his body. There was disappointment on the face of the Headmaster, sorrow, pity, sympathy, compassion...disappointment. How the subject could be changed so abruptly was beyond Severus. He did not care now that he was held arrested in the gaze of a man far wiser than he.

'How fares Svelte?' Dumbledore asked, his voice holding no inflection, his eyes communicating what needed to be said.

'She fares well.' Considering...she cried when I went to leave her today, and though she's not in pain anymore she still won't lie on her sides and she won't expose her stomach. She flinches if I move too fast near her. She whimpers, she's having nightmares and I think the only reason she stands me is because I was the one who showed her some semblance of care. Considering I showed her that semblance of care and then ripped it away. I really don't want to talk about this.

'Dumbledore, I know you know. I'm not going to pretend innocence until you pronounce me guilty. I already know.'

'Then you would know that your actions are horrific.' Dumbledore said sternly and Severus couldn't help it, anger was suddenly welling in him.

'My actions are my own.' He said shortly and knew, even as he uttered the words, that he was being nothing more than a rebellious and frightened person. Acting out of spite, anger, hatred. Dumbledore knew it and the compassion left his features, he was angry himself, it was a rare thing.

'An innocent creature, Severus. Your actions are never your own when an innocent creature is involved. You are made accountable, and I am making you accountable. I cannot let this go, you took her underneath your wing so to speak, to care for her, and this is what happens.' His voice was grim, and Fawke's gaze from his perch was accusing. Severus was angry also, frightened as well.

'I am a Potions Master! Not a Master of animal rehabilitation!'

'Do not use that tone with me Severus, you're only seeking a defensive attitude because you know, for what must be the second time, that you've done something heinous and wrong! You had the option to hand Svelte over, and you did not take it. While I know you did not intend to behave so irrationally, events still transpired which makes me have to say that I'm going to have to confiscate Svelte until you can prove that you can be responsible.' Dumbledore said, his eyes shadowing over.

Severus took a deep and shaking breath. Nothing like this had ever happened before, Dumbledore usually trusted him with any situation, he had trusted him with the life of Harry Potter once. Would he now? Why did you trust me in the first place you fool? Just because I would die for you, doesn't mean I would not continue to be a monster. Just because I've saved lives and I've helped this world, doesn't mean that I haven't even come close to atonement.

'Hagrid is to take Svelte and provide her with sleeping quarters.'

'She won't like it.' Severus said suddenly, picturing the creature crying and crying, as she was apt to do. Dumbledore shook his head sadly.

'I imagine there are many things she doesn't like in this life, torture is one of them, Severus. You are to go down to Hagrid's quarters every hour, during classes, during lunch, during the midnight hours...for feeding. There shall be an extra three hours a day given over solely to attention that is constructive and positive.'

Severus was spluttering. His eyes were wild.

'You want me to disrupt my classes to...' He trailed off. It appeared Dumbledore certainly did. 'The students will destroy everything, they cannot be trusted in that room, with so many volatile ingredients by themselves.' He waited for Dumbledore to provide a solution and when none was forthcoming Severus blanched. He could not conceive how he was going to keep his classes in one piece...all those ingredients...it was almost tempting to petrify every student when he left and undo the spell when he came back.

'I'm not doing this to make your life miserable Severus, I'm choosing this as a way to make you see that you cannot be so whimsical with the issue of life.'

'How will you know when I'm...sufficiently responsible?' Severus drawled, his face turning from rage to impassive disdain. Though he was not feeling anything other than worried, and ashamed, he slipped into the fa�ade he knew best. He was also feeling a strange emotion, one that he rarely felt, and that was bereft. The idea of taking Svelte to Hagrid was appalling. Svelte wouldn't hate Hagrid, but judging by the way she was acting so far, she also would not want to leave Severus.

'Give it three days Severus. You're not a good one for handling changes to your routine, and this I suspect is going to uproot it. After three days you will have the choice to take Svelte under your care again, or leave her with Hagrid.' Severus nodded slowly and was about to ask how he was supposed to attempt maintaining a class of children during his absence when he felt that same, strange pressure along his spinal cord.

Not again.

He threw out a hand, intending to propel himself from Dumbledore's office as soon as possible. Dumbledore knew of the remaining, periodic attacks, but had not yet seen them. His hand caught at air, his foot kicked out and knocked the chair he had been standing beside sideways. Then he was careening into it, falling backwards as his mind shut down, his heart spasmed violently, and his back let out a crunch is it landed diagonally on the hard, wooden armrest of the chair.

It was just black, mind numbing pain, which once more attempted to destroy his muscles. His chest burned with bile that threatened to eject from the agony.

And then, just the receding ache of fatigue. He slid bonelessly from the armrest, a hand passing heavily over his eyes. He had forgotten where he was. I...shower, or, potion. Healing potion. If only it weren't impossible. If only I had an antidote for this. If only I knew of an antidote for this. He groaned in the back of his throat as he shifted his back. Agony lanced through his frame. There were stars behind his eyelids, and as he gingerly attempted opening his eyes, the stars flared, dazzled him.

'Severus. Can you hear me?' Dumbledore was saying, his voice urgent. Snape blinked then, startled, focussing slowly on the worried blue eyes in front of his face. He suddenly remembered where he was, and he sighed shakily. 'I did not wish for you to see that.' He murmured and Dumbledore shook his head, placing a hand at Severus' wrist, checking the pulse. Severus knew what he would find, a racing pulse, uneven, unhealthy.

'This is a lasting remnant of the potion for which you do not have a cure?' Dumbledore said slowly and Severus nodded, wincing. Dumbledore sighed. 'I know no one else to go to in the matter of antidotes, you are the best Potions Master I've ever seen.' Severus did not even have the presence of mind to register pride or smug satisfaction at that comment. Instead he sighed and tried to straighten, uncertain of the damage that had been done this time.

He stopped as a sharp flare of pain seemed to gut his spine.

'Fawkes.' Dumbledore was calling and Snape held up his hand.

'Would that I could Albus, phoenix tears will only exacerbate the effect of the potion. It's been safeguarded against it in the past...unfortunately by my own design.'

'I would not see you in this much pain Severus.' Dumbledore was saying softly, and Severus, damning his back, forced himself into a less crumpled sitting position. He was breathing heavily by the time he managed it.

'I will start working on an antidote then, and perhaps you will not have to. This potion is not running it's course properly. They've added something else to it, and the effects are worsening. I doubt it's fatal.' Severus added at the alarmed look of the Headmaster.

'This antidote will be time consuming won't it?' Dumbledore said heavily and Severus allowed himself a smirk.

'All the moreso because of a certain fox. No...' he grunted, '...matter.' He hoisted himself upright, smoothing his robes against his body, trying to forget the blasted pain in his back. His mind was sluggish and he couldn't quite marshal his thoughts. He cleared his throat uncertainly and then raised a hand to touch the vertebra at his lower back.

Fawkes suddenly made a loud noise, almost of one startled, and Dumbledore looked at Fawkes sharply, as though seeing something. He looked past Severus as though assessing a situation and then a slow gleam came into his eye. 'Of course...' he whispered. 'It would be now.' A smile scampered onto his face and just as quickly left. He extended his hand to Severus and said; 'would you like to come down with me? We have an unexpected guest.'

Unexpected? Guest? Ah my back. Unexpected guest away Dumbledore, right now I just want to go to sleep. To dream the nightmares that plague me. At least I have the comfort in knowing my nightmares aren't real. Small comfort, considering they're real enough in my head.

Together they travelled down the moving stairs, saying nothing as they went down together. Severus was lost in his own world so completely that by the time the doorway had opened, the gargoyle had shifted, and Dumbledore was murmuring a welcome, his world was only just starting to come back into focus. And so was the weather beaten fiend standing in the doorway.

Is this a joke?

Ah the two people I want most to see...sort of. Wait. That's not a good look. Severus, that's not a good look. Take that look off your face. You're not supposed to look like that. Oh shit. Oh shit. What have I done? Have I done anything? No, he's probably just pissed off at something else. Really pissed off. Really intent on taking it out on somebody else.

Dumbledore was smiling between the two of them, though his eyes were flint. It was a look that clearly said something along the lines of; 'behave, or I can be unpleasant.' He seemed to communicate something extra to Severus, which Siana could not even hope to guess at. Severus blinked twice, and then fixed his gaze back on Siana.

'Severus I think our meeting is over, I'll schedule another with you in three days time to discuss our earlier conversation.'

Snape's face twisted and the hatred that seemed to rocket from his gaze penetrated her mercilessly. Siana felt her pulse quicken, her thoughts race, she could smell sandalwood, pepper, him...she could feel his dislike and wondered if she could settle everything with a simple talk. Perhaps. She opened her mouth to say something when he turned abruptly and all but ran from the room, slamming the door behind him, with as much force as he could muster.

'Weird. Not going to ask, because it's weird.'

'Well it's nice to see you lucid, relatively cheerful Siana. I haven't seen you like this since...well...you understand.' He said, the fact was, that he had never seen her like this. Last time he had seen her, she was grief stricken, irrational, she had been for weeks. Now she was stronger it seemed, still headstrong, still irrational, still irrevocably clumsy, but she was stronger. There was something about the light in her eyes which was triumphant. There was something about the way she stood, which communicated fear.

'Come up to my room Siana. I have a feeling there are things to discuss.' He offered her a hand and she graciously took it, moving up the stairs slowly.

'I'm sorry for leaving you like that, when you asked me not to. The Locarius curse was stronger than ever, and I was...frightened.' She said softly and Dumbledore nodded.

'I can only trust that you have found solutions to your problems. It seems so.' He closed his office door behind him and Siana jumped onto what she wanted to say immediately.

'Are we safe?'

'Of course.' Dumbledore said, walking to his desk. Siana could not even wait for him to be seated.

'I've done it. I'm a third Animagus. It's unofficial, I'll never be registered, but I'm a third. I'm also protected from the Insidious potion, I've reconditioned myself...and the Locarius curse can never affect me again. I have a plan too. A plan that could unseat Voldemort, and give you more information.' She said quickly, her ideas coming out in a rush. Dumbledore, seated, stared at her. He looked, impressed?

'I was not expecting perhaps all that.' He merely said and Siana opened her mouth to reply when a flurry of wings greeted her. Fawkes was sitting on her shoulder, butting his head into hers, affectionately. She grinned.

'Yay Hogwarts, and cold weather.' She said softly and sat down at one of the comfortable chairs. The scent of Snape rose around her, and she realised that he had just been sitting in this seat. For some reason that thought brought her comfort. 'Okay I'm just going to start, because I'm nervous, and you know...lucid and rational, which makes me nervous. Here's the deal. I can turn into a cat. No one apart from one person who swore his secrecy in Australia knows I can do that. Advantage one. I could never use my fruit bat or protectus form in front of the Death Eaters because Frederick would have told them. I know Severus is a double agent, but I also know that he's putting himself in danger every time he visits. Why don't I become the familiar of a Death Eater? Say a temporary familiar? Say...for example...a cat that roams back and forth mysteriously?

'That's not all. Of course there's more. It's a start though isn't it? I know how to make myself invisible as an animal, and cats...they camouflage really well. No spell will unseat my Transiguration. There's no spell on the market which will unseat my Transfiguration once I've changed. I know this, because Frederick used every single spell that he could come up with. The Locarius spell is no longer an issue and the Insidious potion well...'

She trailed off and tried to mask her doubt by looking cheerful. She knew that Dumbledore was not fooled, though he said nothing. Instead he looked intensely thoughtful.

'A third Animagus you say? Well aside from dazzling myself, who studied and taught Transfiguration for many years, you have given us all a new option. Why don't we discuss this in more detail? Then we can get you settled in. Of course...I'm not sure in what capacity. Perhaps librarian?'

'Not again.' Siana said softly. 'Not again. Too much...too, I doubt I could even go back to the Basilican property right now. It's just, it's too. Ah for fuck's sake.' She said frustrated at her inability to communicate. It's just, I'll be in that room, and I'll see where Athena was murdered on the bathroom tiles, I'll see where Severus was shot to hell with the Cruciatus curse. I can't do it. I'll go back home and I'll just...it will be too much. 'I'm sorry for swearing.'

'Nonsense. Stay here in a research capacity then, please. Teach McGonagall, help her, teach me, I would love to know your theory. It might be worth having you sleep in the dungeons again, with full rights to the outside world this time. It's safe there, and you'd have access to any part of the school that you wished. Forgive me for my eagerness, I was expecting a windfall, I was not expecting this. Shall we talk?'

An hour later the gargoyle was sliding behind her, and she found herself face to face with one very unpleasant Severus Snape. She braced herself, though she wasn't exactly sure why. She felt edgy every time she was around him, she was frightened, fearful of her own past. Every time she saw him, her mind reminded her that she had slaughtered his sister. She had made his life a misery.

'She's back.' He said half to himself. Siana swallowed. She didn't like his tone of voice, she didn't like the black glitter of his eyes, or the very faint twist of his mouth.

'Hello...' for some reason she stopped talking before she could say Severus. She didn't feel comfortable saying his first name, though she was uncertain as to why. She was standing, intimidated and she didn't understand it. The first time she'd met him, she had threatened him as vigorously as he had threatened her, now the atmosphere between them was darker some how, intimate in an intensely horrible way.

'So. Miss Basilica. Have you come back to finish me off? Because Voldemort didn't do it and neither did Frederick. Perhaps you think you'd like to try your luck, you've killed one of us, why not kill another?'

'That wasn't my fault. It was out of my control.' Siana said, but she was bluffing. She believed that it was her fault, that should have done something about it, that she should have realised that her father and her Uncle were up to no good. She felt that she had been stupid, blind. She would never admit it to the proud man in front of her, she didn't want to.

'Out of your control? Are you still out of control? It wouldn't surprise me. It's a convenient excuse.'

'I've fixed the problem.' Siana spat then, feeling unaccountably defensive.

'Have you? Or are you only saying you have? Have you lulled us all into a false sense of security again just waiting to strike?'

That was enough.

'I have it all under control now! I'm free of the Insidious potion. Why won't you believe me?'

'Do you believe yourself?' Snape snarled back angrily, and Siana fought to hide the immediate doubt that was about to crawl onto her face. I only have a week of this control left, it won't look entirely convincing if I have to leave, and I can't ask you for help...when you're like this. 'And haven't you, Miss Basilica, entered these grounds on the premise that you've learnt to control your yen for destruction? I'd hate to think you harboured any doubt.'

'My power is controlled now.' Siana spat and Snape's eyebrows raised.

'Oh? Well that's such a relief. Get out of my sight.'

Siana took a step backwards. What? That's not what I expected so early.

'Pardon me?'

'Are you as deaf as you are stubborn?'

'But I...but we...'

'What? We had a connection?' Snape sneered unpleasantly and Siana's stomach did a turn. No. No. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It wasn't supposed to be like this. The Potion Master's eyes had narrowed dangerously, his face was a fiendish mask. 'Did you ever think, for one second, that my kissing you was an involuntary response to your subliminal control over me?'

Siana recoiled and yet at the same time felt the urge to fight back. There's no way you're doing this to me after all I've gone through. I don't trouble myself with the thought of other people lightly, and you've done nothing but haunt my thoughts since you left, you bastard.

'That's bullshit Snape and you know it.'

'Oh, don't even presume to know what I know.' He whispered silkily and Siana's eyes narrowed as she scowled.

'If there was a word for someone who was beyond bitter and twisted I'd...hey!' She shouted. Snape was already starting to walk away from her. 'Don't you walk away from me!'

'Why not?' He called over in a droll voice. 'Are you going to half kill me?'

And then he disappeared around a corner. Siana seethed, positively boiled in her frustration. She growled in the back of her throat and then turned to kick the hell out of the stone gargoyle only to find herself frozen mid kick. Dumbledore was standing in the entrance, looking mildly cheerful.

'Is there a problem Miss Basilica?'

'Why does he have to be so horrible! He wasn't like this when I left.' She glared after him. 'Miserable bastard.' Her fingers clenched around her wand, clawed it unhappily. I just want to poke you in the nose with it. That's what I want to do, just whack sense into you. Not that I'm violent, not that I'm a murderer. Her thoughts were frantic. I'm not a murderer, I'm not. Something was racing inside of her mind, something unbidden, frightening. How could I be? How could I...

She's looking at Snape, but she's not in Hogwarts. There is a distant rumble of thunder, and she's just staring at him blankly, but he is not returning the blank gaze. He looks very interested in her. Vaguely she remembers. Sibilant Stow. Nothing was happening, he's just...and then he raises his arm and the feeling fades...she's clicking, something is clicking

'No.' She whispered...it's not supposed to...

'What do you mean you don't understand why the new potion isn't working? You'll make it work!' Frederick, roaring. Her eyes blank, fear racing through her. She's locked in a prison. A horrible prison.

'You'll kill her in the process. Experimentation is one thing, murder is entirely another thing Derrick! Or is that what you're wanting most. I've seen the way you look at her...you're too possessive. You would have her dead with your new potions.'

'Dead?' Stalking up to her. Fear definitely racing through her now. Unsettled reactions in her body, something entirely unexpected. 'The bitch dead?' A leering, cheerful expression. His face pushed into hers. Enjoying the fact that she was unable to react. 'No. Why would I want her dead when she's easy entertainment?'

Something in her peripheral vision. Explosion of pain. Pain. Her neck cracking from the aftershock, and then another explosion, focussed on the other side of her head. Neck cracking again. And a third explosion, a scream...hers? She wasn't supposed to feel fear under this potion. It wasn't supposed to make her frightened. But she was always scared...because inevitably there would be a fourth blow.

Fourth blow, and blood. Trickling. Nausea...she felt like she was about to black out.

'Wait...' She whispered, holding out her hand as Dumbledore reached his own out. She was shaking her head vigorously but the pain wasn't leaving. She couldn't shake the pain. 'Wait. Wait. Wait. This isn't supposed to...no.' Her throat was hoarse suddenly. Side effect.

It's a fucking side effect!

Yet her mind was clearing as she started to think again. Her eyes seemed to focus on the walls around her, on the concerned old man in front of her. She exhaled heavily and shook her head as though to clear away cobwebs. For a moment she was too dazed to say anything, and then suddenly she heard herself say; 'it wasn't supposed to be like this, but it's the only way...to get it out of my system.' The words damned her, even as she said them. She knew that if she were to get more memories, she would be lost in a world that she wanted nothing to do with.

Dumbledore frowned and said nothing. Siana sighed explosively and passed a hand over her forehead. She did not notice, as the Headmaster immediately did, that it was shaking. Her face ached, as though she had been slapped recently. It was a strange sensation.

'I'll call Argus Filch to escort you to your new quarters.' Dumbledore finally said, his voice heavy. Siana said nothing, her wand was suddenly an unbearable weight at her side, her skin was suddenly crawling with cold. She had nothing to say, and would say nothing, she merely stood silently as Dumbledore withdrew to fetch Argus.

I feel like I'm singing the same song again. Only, same song, different war. I don't know what to do.

Why is everything so much more complicated than it has to be?

Because of what you are. Murderer. Don't you know anything? Better just to get the plan underway. Whatever happens in the meantime. Happens.