Spoilers: PS/SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, FB, QTTA.. Written between Goblet of Fire and Order of Phoenix.
Genre: Action, Angst
Era: Multiple Eras
Main Character(s): None
Ship(s): None
Summary: Siana Basilica has found the first of many answers, and Severus Snape has returned from his encounter with Voldemort. When Siana finds herself back at Hogwarts to continue looking for answers about her strange abilities, and her even stranger wand, she encounters a Snape entirely different to the one she knew before. The Death Eaters and Voldemort are hunting her, and she herself is experiencing unusual symptoms to the one thing that could possibly help her.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

One of Us.

The floor was cold. It was actually very cold. Siana sighed shakily and a wry smile painted itself on her face. Her knuckles whitened as she levered herself off the slabbed ground. She brushed dirt off her black robes and then vaulted onto her bed, trying to get rid of her excess energy.

'Right,' she muttered to herself. She was never trying self-defense again. One kick had landed her on the floor. She hadn't contacted anything, just flung her leg out, lost her balance, and introduced her posterior to stone. Not that she ever really was good at physical fighting, after all...she was a coward at the best of times. Siana had surprised herself at her own strength thus far, in seeing Draco and Lucius. The reality of what she was doing was starting to affect her, and every time she looked at her reflection in a mirror all she saw was wide and frightened eyes. And bad skin, fuck it, stress always does this to me. Dry hair and bad skin. She sighed explosively and sprawled out on the bed. With a flick of her hand and a small amount of concentration on her part, she was suddenly the great Protectus, largest species of fox to ever exist.

Vulpes russeo protectus. Her paws stretched out, the deep red of her fur a stark contrast to the black of the sheets and the dim grey of the chambers that she was staying within. Her black mane of hair which started from between her eyes and made it's way well past her shoulder blades, stood up like a punk haircut. She didn't care. The Protectus was only beautiful to some, and she hadn't selected the creature for looks anyway. She had deliberately selected her first Animagus to possess more courage and cunning than she did, so that she could learn a little bit of self protection.

However most of it didn't carry through to her human form, so at times when she was frightened or hurt, the form of Protectus beckoned. She yawned, her pink tongue flecking out over her teeth and her eyes closed sleepily. The fox in her was obviously demanding a rest, and who was she to deny it? She took a deep breath and sighed into sleep.

She was coaxed out of her doze by the presence of someone near her. She opened her eyes. Albus Dumbledore was standing nearby, looking into the cold fireplace, humming a very faint tune. Siana recognised it as a lullaby her mother used to sing to Camille. She felt a faint stab of pain, every now and then the grief that she had never succumbed to washed over her...she missed her mother, Camille, Nathan. Even Nathan's dog...and of course Athena. She dreamt of Athena sometimes, panicking in the chambers of Madam Pince, tortured by Macnair. She didn't ever want to own an animal again, they always seemed to meet unhappy endings.

She was in human form, sleep always did that to her. The fact was, she did feel more comfortable in the form of Protectus, but the shape couldn't be maintained if she had dreams in which she was a human.

She could sense night around her, though she could not see it, and was reminded of her impending task. Fear surged through her. She sat abruptly. Dumbledore turned.

'How was your sleep, Siana?'

'Uh...I slept. That's the main thing, isn't it? So! Meeting tonight huh?' Though there was no quaver in her voice, she could definitely hear her fear. She licked her lips and realised anxiously, by the bitter taste, that she'd forgotten to have dinner; and that she had thrown up everything else from last night. Despite hunger, she doubted whether eating before such a meeting would be such a good idea. Dumbledore was looking back at the cold fireplace again, a grim expression on his old face.

'We must make haste, Siana. Do you need to take anything with you?'

'No. No. I...' She tapped her thigh pocket. 'I have my wand.' As she looked around her sparse quarters she saw the small chest of drawers in which she had hidden her green rooster feather and the mashed New Zealand Mandragora. I hate hiding things, I hate it. The things I do to make sure I'm safe around other people...

'Let's go.'

Siana didn't really remember how the walk from her room to the outer grounds had happened, she only knew that she and Dumbledore didn't speak. The fear grew inside her, gave her goosebumps, made her hair stand on end. Blurred pictures of Frederick kept tainting her and any minute she imagined herself throwing up bile, or going into shock. She didn't want to see him. The terror she had of Frederick was more intense than her fear of Voldemort. The fact was, she knew Frederick, and what he was capable of, where she had never met Voldemort, and so she didn't know what to fear.

I'm so scared. I hate this.

'Good evening,' purred a dark silky voice from the depth of the shadows. Siana jumped, she hadn't seen anyone approaching, but Severus must have been walking up behind them. He was looking oddly neutral, his expression blank, his eyes fixed on Dumbledore's. He didn't even give her a cursory glance.

'Where are you going?' Siana said, fully aware that he was going to a meeting with the Death Eaters, she just wanted to see how he reacted to such a pointed question. Not at all to her surprise, he glared at her, then affected a look of indifference. His arms were tense though, as though he couldn't quite relax into what he was about to do. Neither can I for that matter.

'No where in particular. Where are you going?' Siana grinned.

'Oh. No where in particular,' she said breezily and Severus' eyes narrowed and then he turned to Dumbledore, ignoring her easily.

'Headmaster, if her sadistic intent doesn't kill you then her imbecilic and intrusive nature certainly will. Good day,' he said crisply and sped off, so that he was several meters in front. Siana glared at him, then clenched her hands involuntarily. What the?

'I'll kill him, I'll kill him...I'll...'

'You know Siana, following through on those homicidal urges has never solved anyone's problems,' Dumbledore said softly and Siana scoffed.

'Yeah? Well, it would sure put a dent in mine,' Siana sniped in the back of her throat as she glared daggers at Snape's back, and to her surprise Dumbledore laughed. She smiled wryly and then settled into uncomfortable silence. The weight of what she was about to do felt like one of the towers of Hogwarts was crushing her into the ground. Why do I think I can do this? Why do I? I'm not a strong person, I run away from things. I should probably be running away now.

She could hear her breathing now, and she could also no longer see Severus, he had once more disappeared into the shadows. She didn't know how, or why, but for some reason having him around had comforted her. Now that he too was gone, dread trebled, anxiety rattled deeply. She started wringing her hands in front of her stomach, she stumbled a few steps. The closer she came to the bronze winged boars and the boundaries of Hogwarts, the more she felt she was walking straight, voluntarily, into a horrific nightmare.

The second time she stumbled in the silence, Dumbledore's hand reached out to her shoulder to steady her, and she swallowed a whimper.

'I can't do this,' she whispered, straightening. I have never hated myself more than I do right now.

'I can't be a hero, I can't be a hero, please. Please don't make me do this, I'm not like Harry Potter, I'm not like any of you. I don't want to see him again. I don't...' She trailed off, hating her pitiful voice. She stared back at Hogwarts, stared into the dark beyond the winged boars. Cold crept around her body, into her bones, ice seemed to freeze around her. All in my head. You coward. Dumbledore was looking at her as though he was thinking fast. She could not see pity, but there was definitely some kind of sadness in his eyes that she couldn't pick.

'Siana, no one is asking you to be a hero.'

'Just don't make me see him again, please,' Siana begged, and her voice cracked. She swallowed desperately and then bit her lower lip. 'Please, Dumbledore, please.' She wanted to tear away her eyes from his blue ones, wanted to claw into herself. She hated her angst, she hated her fear, she hated everything right now.

'He won't know that it's you. No one knows about your talent...no one can break through your talent,' he said quietly into the still night air. 'I cannot, and I severely doubt that someone like your Uncle could either.' He lowered his voice further, his eyes were like stars in a dark night sky. 'You can't expect miracles of yourself, but you also must anticipate the situation. He will not know. There is no conceivable way he could pick you from the crowd, unless you changed, and I severely doubt you will let enough control slip to do that.'

'I doubt it too,' Siana said and Dumbledore smiled softly.

'See? Your fears are founded in fact, but they are made worse by another fact. You are your own worst enemy, Siana. No. That's not exactly what I mean.' He took off his spectacles and cleaned them absently. 'You definitely have enemies, but fear disagrees with control, it does not make you stronger. You are resourceful and bright, and you should leave most of your fear at Hogwarts so that you can at the very least, revel in it when you return here. Just keep enough of it to make you alert, otherwise just leave the rest of it here.'

'Um. Yeah,' Siana said softly. She didn't feel much better, she only felt foolish, stupid, frightened. She didn't feel like begging anymore either. 'Can I just get this over and done with?'

'Certainly,' he said, and raised his wand to Apparate her out of the grounds.

An hour later she was snuggled against Lucius, listening to his beating heart, her feline senses alert. She could smell his aftershave, a little musk, and the mint he had chewed after his dinner. She could smell Draco on him, Narcissa, and fear. He was frightened too. It seemed that everyone went to a Death Eater meeting either frightened, or so powerful, fear no longer mattered.

There were only twenty robed shapes, most of which were wearing masks. Only five weren't. Lucius was among them, as was Snape, who she picked out talking to a short masked man with a high pitched voice. The trees framed them, but they obviously weren't incredibly concerned about being found out. After all the forest they were now in, Siana had never heard of before. The trees themselves, bending pines, swayed in the wind so much it would have been hard for a human on the night of a dark moon, to decipher between man and leaf.

She smelt Frederick before she saw him. A strange combination of storms, roast beef and something new, was it rosemary? She wondered vaguely where he was living now, if it had rosemary bushes. Then she saw him, the cheerful expression, the violet eyes. He was laughing with a man in a mask, looking lazy, laid-back. He looked like this was a dream come true, like it was exactly where he wanted to be.

Everyone here smelt human...she couldn't pick up anything too supernatural. Wherever Voldemort was, he wasn't here.

Lucius was taking her over to Severus, and she snuggled closer to the Malfoy. After all, Severus hadn't seen her as a cat yet, and she felt naked, even though she knew he wouldn't recognise her. She still couldn't help but wonder.

'Good evening,' Severus said shortly to Lucius, turning away from the short and masked man. From where Siana was being held, she could see Frederick turn to look at them and experienced a shock in her gut. Just the eye contact alone made her shudder. She blinked several times and realised that he hadn't recognised her, he couldn't recognise her. Without saying anything he turned back to the person he was pointing to, and directed them to a table covered with tiny clear vials glinting red.

Siana squeaked in surprise. Oh by Artemis! Look how much Insidious potion they've got! Oh gods! There would have been over forty bottles, each needing to be carefully made, each made with rare ingredients. Siana gnashed her teeth together and then heard a 'tsk-ing' sound from nearby.

'A cat?' Severus heard himself saying with disgust and Lucius started stroking the creature. It in return focussed its attention back on its owner, and started to purr loudly, luxuriously. It's pale yellow eyes fixed on Severus insolently, and then the cat turned again and presented it's stomach to Lucius Malfoy. Something that no one should ever do.

'It was a stray, it's been checked for Transfiguration. She's beautiful isn't she? She can carry out orders, she's a smart thing, though I don't think she's part Kneazle. There's nothing better than having a black cat to fulfill ones wishes.' Severus said nothing. He had seen Frederick look at him a moment ago and wondered what would be in store for him tonight. He dreaded to think.

At that moment, with impeccable timing, Severus felt bile rise up his throat as he sensed Frederick come up behind him. A hand, open, touched his lower back and then curved down over his buttocks, displaying familiarity. Lucius turned away, obviously showing deference, Frederick took the opportunity to press his body alongside the potion master's. No one else could see or interpret the action well, it was too dark, but the action wasn't designed for everyone else, it was designed so that Severus knew who he answered to.

'Have you gotten any closer in bringing her?' the man whispered into his ear, and there was a horrible smile in his voice which Severus wanted dearly to wipe off with a few well chosen words. A few well chosen words and a wand.

'Soon,' he said softly, hiding a tremor in his voice. He was steeling himself against doing something stupid, like turning around and beating Frederick into a bloody pulp in front of the rest of the Death Eaters. Because, old man, that would go down extremely well. You already hold a precarious position on this knife edge.

'Soon is good. I might even be nice to you this time Sevvie. Would you like that?' His breath curled around the ear of the Potion Master and this time Severus definitely had to swallow bile down. He jerked as though to move away and suddenly felt a wand tip poke into his lower back. 'Anyone would think that you didn't like my company,' Frederick grated. He chuckled and then shifted his hand, deliberately becoming more familiar, moving lower still. Severus grit his teeth and imagined what Frederick would look like impaled on about thirteen vertical spikes. 'Stay here a moment longer will you? I'm having fun. You know I wait for these moments.' His chuckle epitomised insanity. The wand tip was ruthless against his lower back.

'Now...I always forget, why are you here?' Frederick said joyfully, this time curving his hand under Severus' buttocks and becoming so familiar that the potions master flinched away even though he knew he should remain impassive. The wand tip pressed so hard pain started to radiate up his spine. He took a deep breath as Frederick licked his lips with a smack.

'How could you ever hope to be one of us? Working for a man like Albus has made you soft, old man, not to mention disgustingly unhygienic, when was the last time you washed your hair? You know? Don't answer that question, I don't want to know Sevvie boy. Don't want to know at all. You know? Even a pathetic little messenger God like Hermes wouldn't go out of his way to give you a good kick up the rear. Fortunately...I'm a caring person...' Frederick crooned and Severus blanched as the too familiar hand. No one could see, and Severus would be reprimanded for showing any signs of weakness. It was obvious that Frederick was getting along very well with Voldemort (as well as anyone could), and to disagree with the Basilican, would almost be as direct as openly slandering Voldemort.

'Where's the Dark Lord?' Severus managed softly and Frederick chuckled, he deliberately pushed his head forward for that, so that every short exhale would gutter against Snape's clammy neck. He shuddered, braced himself, and Frederick noticing, squeezed even harder. Pain was now spreading throughout his lower torso, he was fighting off a cringe, and The wand at the base of his spine was brutal, unforgiving. He felt that if he went into convulsions now, it would be almost comical.

'The Dark Lord, as you so tastefully put it, Snape, is indisposed.'

'Surely you're not in control?' He hissed and several of the Death Eaters who were still in their masks, turned to him sharply. Even Lucius, holding Cassia tenderly, turned and stared with wide eyes at Severus for what he had said. His gaze was clearly disagreeable and Severus swallowed twice in quick succession. Why shouldn't I be rebelling? This is the first time this has happened, I have every right to know what's going on.

'Of course he's not Severus...' Lucius said lazily, forcing a smile upon his lips. 'The Dark Lord is very busy of late, understandably, working so hard as he is. Frederick here knows enough about the contents of this meeting to handle it. It's only a small group of us, things aren't about to get out of hand.'

'Only because there's no...' he stopped himself. International Quidditch Match he had been about to say, but that would have been a big mistake. 'Only because there's no innocent people to slaughter,' he finished smoothly and blessedly, Frederick chose that moment to remove the hand, wand, and his presence in general away from Severus.

'I think we'll call order now. Lucius, is that a Kneazle.? I've heard stories...'

'I've tested it. Would you like to check it?'

'Would I like to...are you kidding? You think I don't trust you? Of course I trust your judgement. You tried a Revealing spell?'

'Yes. Give me some more credit than that Frederick, please.'

'Hold the damned thing up?' He raised his wand. The cat was limp in Lucius' hands, its forelegs and backlegs dangling, eyes roving around the party. It was small, it seemed to disappear into the shadows it was so black, but its bright yellow eyes were perceptive. It reminded him for a moment of Svelte and he shuddered. He'd left her alone back at Hogwarts, there was no way he'd bring a creature like Svelte to a meeting like this.

Frederick shouted several spells in quick succession, they landed square on the black cat, who squirmed a little but otherwise made no complaint. The red glow from the spells died and Frederick lowered his wand.

'Keep her here. I don't care. Now. Meeting underway. This is a brief meeting with an extremely select group of members. No offence to those who wanted to bring friends, it isn't about that tonight, and I personally apologise Lucius about Draco. He's just too young at the moment.'

'As long as I wasn't excluded, I don't particularly care either way,' Lucius drawled and Frederick nodded. He backed up against some shadows and suddenly gestures to his side. Some of the Death Eaters murmured with surprise, he was evidently standing against something solid that wasn't moving. With a flourish he pulled a black sheet off an object, revealing what was underneath.

A young woman, around twenty years of age, sat tied and oblivious to the world around her. She was naked, but her body showed no sign of cold. Her eyes were wide, there were scratches on her face, but her expression was blank. Severus recoiled in distaste and stared at Frederick, fighting down bile for the third time that night.

'This is under the influence of the Insidious Potion. It was captured and given the potion, and is now completely under my control. Think Imperius people, think Imperius in a bottle, undetectable in the blood stream or the aura.'

I could detect it, you fool. Severus thought spitefully.

'This is out of it, this thing is unable to respond to external stimuli. Watch. The cold does not affect it. The bindings on her hand do not hurt it, the uncomfortable chair does not bother it. See? You can Crucio a person like this...and they would never know. Watch that expression, blank. Now watch as I curse it...'

Severus watched in disgust as the hypnotised mind seemed to show no response, though the body convulsed continuously. He couldn't draw his eyes away from the torture, as he so very always couldn't, and felt none of the thrill that he used to feel in his younger days. Finally after several minutes, after drool and tears were flying from the eyes, nostrils and mouth of the victim, he tore his eyes away and found himself mesmerised by Frederick's intense gaze. There was an incredibly sensual smile on his face, a luxuriant gutter of pleasure blazing hot from behind his eyes.

Another horror dawned on Severus, one entirely unexpected, entirely unappreciated. And to think, I stand here so impassively, and yet this is probably what the young Miss Basilica went through. Frederick has done this before, he's relaxed, there's no excitement of the new with him here, there's just the lazy pleasure of familiarity. Is it true? Does the mind feel nothing whilst the body goes through...that? For if that's true, and if she truly was under the influence of this potion during her years at Moreberries, then...

Then she's practically exonerated.

Frederick cut the curse off with a practised flick of the wrist. It was obvious that he was very experienced with this curse, with anything to do with pain it seemed. Severus hoped that he would be able to get away, without having to spend any time alone with the man again. Agonies of the last visit were still painfully close, the convulsions were getting worse and infinitely worse, and he had drafted five different antidotes, all of which might not have the slightest difference. He hated to admit it, but Frederick was a wildly disturbed man, and wildly brilliant. He had faked his own death, he had single handedly pioneered the effective use of the Insidious Potion (Severus largely doubted that the Father had helped all that much at all), he was at large and he had beaten Severus Snape. That made the man brilliant, also incredibly stupid, for Snape was utterly unforgiving, and no one ever got away with personally insulting him and escaping unscathed.

'You have complete and utter control. This potion has been extensively tested and revised. It is no longer fatal unless the victim drinks an entire bottle.'

No longer fatal? Fool of a man to enthusiastically develop such a dangerous potion in the first place. Severus hid his distaste. He also remembered the one time that he had given Siana a very basic Wake Up Potion, very simple, and she had experienced a severe reaction to it. Very severe. It was simple fact that if someone had large doses of fatal ingredients over and over again, and managed to survive, they would never react to potions the same way again. A poison might not work, an antidote might inadvertently kill. It was the reason so many wizards and witches did not try to make themselves immune to poisons by ingesting small amounts of that same poison.

'Not only that, but it isn't very noticeable whilst the person is going about their normal life. Unlike the Imperius curse, which requires constant concentration on behalf of the spellcaster, the Insidious links you up with the victim. They answer to you, and only to you, and the most potent ingredient of this potion allows you to form a mental linkup if you will. You can convince your victim to say or do anything, and you don't need to move a muscle.'

Several of the Death Eaters shifted at this news, an excited, infinitely ominous muttering waved across the crowd. There were many who would like to get their hands on just one of the tiny bottles they could see lined up neatly on the desk.

'Of course the link is strongest on family members, but think of what you can do then, with family members. The possibilities my friends, are endless.' He laughed broadly and the talking became a lot louder. Severus turned his head away, he wasn't going to pretend to feign interest. None of the other Death Eaters would be at all surprised at his bitter attitude, he could just pass it off as jealousy that someone was showing him up in potions. Though Severus had to admit that he wasn't as jealous as he could have been, owing to the fact that Frederick was completely irresponsible and undisciplined when it came to potion making. He could still comfort himself by knowing he was thus far, the best of the best.

He turned as his ears tuned into a hissing sound, and he saw the cat in Lucius' hands spitting at nothing in particular, her fur raised on end. Her pupils were wide with fury and her claws were out, though she was not actually scratching the man holding her. Lucius was looking at her curiously. He looked up, saw Severus watching him and shrugged. 'She's definitely got her own personality...perhaps she's...hmm, I have an idea.' A smile crossed over his face and he proudly walked through the other Death Eaters in front of him, to where the blankly staring victim was still sitting on the bolted chair.

'May I try?' Lucius said, taking out his wand. Frederick nodded, cruel delight in his eyes. Severus steeled himself as he saw a ruthless light enter the eyes of the man he had once considered friend.

No. No. No. Not Crucio, not again. Not on this poor person. Don't you see? Don't you know? She CAN feel it! She CAN FEEL IT! She's just locked up in her mind so you don't see what she feels! NO! No, please. No. No. No. No.

Siana was going berserk, struggling and writhing about in the arms of Lucius Malfoy, gnashing her teeth together. She knew she couldn't make a difference, she knew that she had to calm herself soon. She knew that she was acting irrational, but the whole thing was bringing back too many memories. Memories of sometimes experiencing the Cruciatus curse more than fifteen times a day, her body convulsing, her mind remaining blank. Then there had been the other curses, other types of pain, and then the other, more physical tortures. She was locked in a nightmare, and the idea of the nightmare being played out 'for real' terrified her.

'Cassia!' Lucius said sharply. 'I know something which is going to make you all better again.' Siana's gut twisted, she felt her intestines curdle inside of her. She froze, her fur still standing on end. Siana, her eyesight much better, her hearing much better than usual and her senses finely honed, knew that what she was about to bear would leave her in some form of shock, or something. This was breaking her down, and fast.

'Crucio!' Lucius commanded and Siana felt the jet of energy move through and then out of her, watched the poor, vulnerable, victimised person on the chair leap and spasm from the effects of the Cruciatus curse. It was traumatising, because she knew that the mind of the girl was also aflame, ablaze with agony, and that she was only able to scream to herself. The Insidious locked you up with your captor, and no one else was ever allowed into your world unless you could get away from the potion.

Siana was near passing out when Lucius finally ended the curse. Girl and cat slumped, defeated, against their confines. When Siana felt the kind and tender hands of Lucius ruffling her fur, stroking down her back, her eyes squeezed shut. It was too much, it was too overwhelming. The fact was, she wanted this kind of attention, she wanted to accept it as comfort. She would have liked to believe that Lucius was now comforting her, tenderly. It wasn't true, he was indulging, he had no idea what his cat was going through.

It hurt Siana more, to know that the comfort she wanted, she wouldn't receive.

'What about you Severus? Do you want a go? Hmmm?' Frederick said enthusiastically, practically jumping up and down. There was a hush of murmuring all over again, everyone wanted to see what the supposed 'soft' Potions Master would do.

Severus however smoothly removed his wand and pointed it at the vacant girl, a cruel smile curving on his face. Siana half choked and then the scent of him reached her, he was sweating more, there was a lot of fear on him, he didn't want to be doing this. Now that she trained her eyes she could see a tiny tic going off in his forearm, his hand was shaking just a little. She licked her dry nose anxiously.

'What would you have me do Frederick?'

'Bring it out of the influence, then kill it,' Frederick said smoothly and now there was more murmuring. Joy killing, it was excitement. The Death Eaters had not been able to joy kill in a long time, not openly, not among each other, it had been too dangerous. Siana watched as Severus' shaking became suddenly more pronounced and she saw him swallow.

'How do I bring her out of the influence of the potion? You have to personally code the signals don't you?'

'Of course. And of course the potions master would know something like that, being so familiar with potions after all. The action is very simple, just bring the hand that isn't holding your wand up and across. A simple cutting motion, like so.'

Siana did not avert her eyes in time, it was a motion he had used on Siana too. However the motion did not hypnotise her, she felt a small jolt in her body, and retained her senses. Relief flooded through her. The cure really works! It really works! Then she felt fear follow relief. What if I have to go to another meeting like this before I make the Insidious potion?

She was so busy dwelling on the knowledge that she had actually been temporarily cured when she heard; 'Avada Kedavra! ' come from her left. Her head turned and she stared at Severus, who had a look of utmost concentration on his face, concentration and agony. All the other Death Eaters were watching the girl, but Siana was watching Severus, who quietly lowered his wand and stared at what he had done. His cruel smile was still on his face, but his eyes glittered.

How can I hate him? How can I hate him when he goes through this on a regular basis on behalf of Dumbledore? How could I hate anyone who went through this?

She jumped free of Lucius' loose grip and ignored his exclamation. Siana walked up to Severus boldly and snuggled against his legs trying to offer him some support, some sense of something. He jerked away, and the other Death Eaters laughed. Lucius was laughing the loudest of them all.

'God knows why but she likes you!'

Severus bent down, and Siana froze when she felt two long, tapered hands curling around her fragile body. They were gentle and firm. He raised her and then examined her body thoroughly, a strange, unfathomable look about his face.

She thanked the stars that the cut on her head was hidden by black fur, that the bruises were hidden. The only marking he could see was the great cut on her leg, and Severus was not to know that Siana the human had one too. He wouldn't have been able to tell it was her. Instead Severus touched the cut with one very light motion, and Siana felt, rather than heard, him mutter the word 'Draco' under his breath.

'You have a sadistic cat here, Lucius,' Severus said loudly, to all the Death Eaters. He then raised Siana, so that she was looking into his black eyes. She was grateful then, that she had managed to perfect the Transfiguration so that she had the normal yellow eyes of a feline, not the violet eyes of a genetically defunct Basilica. The gaze was assessing, it was calculating, but of all the things it could have been, it was not cruel. He blinked a few times, as though making up his mind about something, then bent down again and casually deposited her on the ground.

'That cat is a benefit to your spellcasting skills no doubt,' Severus said softly and Lucius nodded as Siana, shaken, tottered her way back to the Malfoy. Lucius accepted her with hands that cradled and caressed. A purr started in the back of her throat despite her tensions and she stretched languidly to try and relieve some of the tension.

'Yes. Of course,' Lucius said and opened his mouth to say something else when Frederick cleared his throat.

'Now, you will receive one potions bottle each, Severus I'll expect that you already know how to brew it.' Severus nodded and Frederick also nodded. 'Good, we need all hands on deck here...it will cost you, but we do not expect full payment. The next meeting will be in a week's time to test results, and to meet The Dark Lord. The Death Eaters are back in full swing my friends. Feel free to see me otherwise. Good evening to you gentlemen,' he said softly and Cassia jumped out of Lucius' protective grip again.

'Running off so soon?' the man said as he knelt by her side. Siana purred softly, snuggled against him for some cold comfort, and then looked imploringly into the darkness of the trees. She hoped he would let her go here, she didn't think she could stay a moment longer, even if she could find out more information for Dumbledore. Seeing Frederick again made her feel intensely ill, and she needed to throw up. Again.

'Well then my little Cassia, return soon. Thank you for your aid,' he said softly and Siana ran then, forgot her purr, forgot that she was leaving Severus behind, forgot everything and bolted away into the shadows.

It was a long time before she realised that she was well away from the meeting, well away from civilisation, and that she was in a position to Apparate back to Hogwarts. She transformed back into the form of human quietly, hiding herself behind a tree. She was breathing heavily and suddenly found her breathing turning into heaves, she retched continuously, bile, stinking, littering the ground. Her nails scraped the bark and she half sobbed into her body's violent movements. She felt wretched and very very alone.

She was almost back into the castle when she heard a faint rustle behind her. She jumped, startled and whirled around. Severus emerged from the shadows looking pale and pinched. She swallowed.

'Hey,' she said softly and shook her head. Her mind was blank. 'You shouldn't sneak up on people like that.'

'Where have you been?' he asked quietly and Siana swallowed.

'No where. Where have you been?'

There was a tense silence, Severus obviously didn't like having his words thrown back at him. Siana looked at him, heartbroken, tired, sick and scared. She was traumatised from the events of the night, and wondered how he was. He had just killed a person, an innocent girl.

'Hell. Good evening,' he said shortly and stalked away.

Siana bit her lip and then ran after him, her legs protesting at the movement.

'Wait! Wait! I'm sorry, I'm sorry Sev...er...Professor Snape. Sorry. I'm just...I'm sorry,' she said softly, unable to find the hatred she usually had so willingly on hand.

'I'm not,' he said softly and then turned. 'Where have you been?'

'I can't tell you. It was something Dumbledore asked me to do, it was nothing important.'

'I can't imagine Dumbledore getting you to do anything consequential, that's for sure.'

'Exactly. I'm inconsequential. That's me,' Siana said desperately and then suddenly realised what she said. 'Hey...hang on a minute...'

Severus' lips quirked slightly upwards and then his eyes hardened to a dull sheen. 'If you'll excuse me, I need to release myself to the obligations of sleep now. Good evening for the third time tonight I'm sure. Try not to accidentally destroy anything or anyone on the way to your chambers,' he said softly, bitterness in his voice. Siana felt however tonight it wasn't personal. She didn't know what to think of that.

She watched him go and let him walk much ahead of her, until she could no longer see him. She then licked her lips and stumbled back to her quarters. Her room was deathly cold, but she didn't care. She crawled into bed without changing, pausing only to yank her wand out of her robes and throw it against the wall. It clattered to the ground and she murmured to herself.

'Sweet dreams,' she whispered and succumbed to blackness.

Severus did not sleep that night.

He had stalked back to his chambers, slammed his doors behind him and then taken three antidotes he was dying to use on himself out of his cabinet, and flung them, furious, against the wall. They smashed and shattered, releasing the scent of herbs and animal products into the air. It was a rare show of complete rage, but he needed to vent, and he didn't care at that point how much he destroyed. His nails clawed into his Dark Mark and his breathing was harsh.

You've killed another person, another person to add to your tally, another person you can never tell Dumbledore about, another person whom you've extinguished. You're not God, Severus. You might be intelligent, you might be dangerous, but you're not God. He swallowed. I can't be anything less than a demon right now. And who says I'm supposed to be anything but, only the fool imaginings of a crackpot Headmaster? And then murder, foul fiend...I enjoyed that. I enjoyed it.

He wrenched his wand out of pocket and threw it against the wall where his antidotes had smashed. It too clattered against the ground.

I need to cure myself. I need to get these antidotes out of the way. I need to kill Frederick. I need to do a lot of things. And Siana, acting so civil. Apologising? Not likely. Bitch...she's probably in league with Frederick. Maybe she was hiding in the shadows for all that time, egging him on...

No...

No?

It's not totally unrealistic.

Severus sighed. He didn't like her, but after tonight how could he hate her? She had apologised, she had recognised her annoying nature and apologised. She seemed genuine. More genuine than usual at least.

'It's an illusion.' He couldn't seem to direct his anger at anyone but Frederick tonight, and himself, and at his foolishness in general.

He stayed up until morning, starting the antidotes which he hoped would stop his convulsions. He didn't want to think about Frederick, Dumbledore, Siana or anything but potions. The scintillating power of the drop, and the need for total immersion in academia was all the therapy he could have hoped for. He blocked the murder from his mind, but deep inside he knew that there would be a night, a week where he would vomit continuously, experience headaches and in general be tormented by the nightmare of his mind. It was just a waiting game now to know when that would happen.