Chapter 9

The next few days were the hardest for Harry, mostly with his trying to avoid Sirius whenever he had to. It turned out to be harder than he thought, since he did have classes with him. And, actually, Harry didn't know why he was avoiding Sirius at all. Except for what had happened a while back; it seemed that was really what it was all about.

But, if Harry really was having any success in avoiding his godfather, it stopped when Sirius came up to him on the weekend just as he was about to go to Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione. He didn't look pleased.

"We need to have a long, long talk," Sirius said without a greeting as he approached Harry. "I'd like to see you in my chambers, Harry."

"But Hogsmeade—" Harry started without any success. Sirius cut him off.

"You can forget about Hogsmeade. Like I said, we need to talk. This is much more important than Hogsmeade."

"Fine," Harry reluctantly agreed, saying goodbye to his friends. Then, following Sirius down to his chambers, he let there be silence all the way down. When they arrived, Sirius wordlessly said the password and entered, Harry close behind.

"Sit," Sirius said, waving his hand at the couch. "Now I want you to tell me, truthfully, why you've been avoiding me. Is it because of Allyson? Because if it is it's bloody stupid Harry—you're being stupid. By avoiding me. No eye contact, no 'hello's or 'goodbye's. No acknowledgement if we pass each other in the halls. Don't even bother trying to tell me that you're not avoiding me, because I know better."

Harry stared at Sirius, completely silent. How could he answer his godfathers' question if he didn't even know the answer for himself? He most definitely wouldn't lie to Sirius again—no, definitely not. He was getting sick of lying. He wanted to be honest with Sirius, like he always used to be.

"I don't know," Harry admitted. "I wasn't planning on avoiding you. It just happened."

"We've been through a lot," Sirius said, more softly than before. "Ever since I got you from the Dursleys when you were seven. The car accident … your amnesia … you turning into a baby again … Matt's death"—Harry winced—"Er … What happened to me—well, you know, Harry. The list goes on. This is just another thing, and all of what I've just said? We got through that. We can get through this, too."

"'This'?" Harry repeated, frowning. "What do you mean, Sirius? I have to go … maybe they didn't go to Hogsmeade yet … Bye."

Harry got up to leave, but Sirius grabbed hold of his arm. "You're not leaving, Harry. Not until we get this resolved. Besides, I have something I need to tell you."

"Fine," Harry said, sitting back down. "Tell me."

Sirius looked uncomfortable. "Not yet, Harry."

"You wanted to tell me something, but you want to wait to tell me?" Harry said, looking confused. "Why not just tell me now?"

"Because we haven't got this resolved yet," Sirius replied. "When we do, I'll tell you."

"What if you're going to tell me something I'm not going to like?" Harry asked. "Wouldn't I get mad at you again?"

Sirius frowned. "I hope not … but …" He shook his head firmly. "I'll just have to take that chance. It's important, but us being on good terms is more important."

"OK," Harry said simply. "I'm not mad at you. I won't avoid you anymore."

"It takes more than just saying it," said Sirius. "You have to mean it, Harry. Not just say it and get it over with."

"I do mean it!" Harry argued. "I meant it. I won't avoid you anymore, and I'm not mad at you."

Sirius sighed, looking exhausted. Harry didn't mean to make him so exasperated, he just thought that he was doing what he was to make everything better—or as better as it could be. He was saying that he wasn't going to avoid Sirius anymore, wasn't that what his godfather wanted to hear?

"I spoke to Remus," Sirius said out of the blue. "He said that he liked Allyson. I could tell he was lying, even if we weren't speaking face-to-face. It was just the way he wrote, saying how he liked Allyson a little bit more than he should be. Is that what those 'meetings' with you two were about? Allyson?"

Harry looked down at his hands, unable to look into Sirius's eyes. After all, if he did and he lied about that, surely Sirius would be able to tell. In fact, Harry knew that Sirius knew the truth already. Why lie when being honest would make him feel so much more better?

"Yeah," Harry said quietly, followed by a sigh. "Don't take this the wrong way, Sirius. We—or at least I—tried to like Allyson. I'm sure Remus did, too. But …" Harry trailed off, letting Sirius fill in the blanks.

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and found himself looking into Sirius's eyes. "Don't hate me for not liking Allyson," he said. "Or Remus. It's not our faults that we feel the way we feel."

Sirius stood up and walked over to Harry, sitting down next to him. Surprisingly, Sirius wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulder and brought the boy in closer for a hug.

"I don't hate you, or Remus. I'd be barmy to hate the two of you. But …" That's when Sirius started looking uncomfortable, and seemed as if he were fighting with himself to spit out what he was going to say next. "Harry, I know how you two feel about her now, but that doesn't change the way I feel about her."

Now he started looking very uncomfortable, which seemed almost contagious, since almost immediately Harry started feeling uncomfortable as well.

"You see, Harry," Sirius tried again, "A while ago … I, er … well, the thing is … a week ago I—" Slowly, Sirius inhaled and exhaled, then tried completing his sentence once again. "I sort of … proposed. To Allyson."

It came out as a jumble of mixed words, but Harry was still able to understand what Sirius said, though it was hard to comprehend. Harry stared at Sirius, blinking, thinking over what he said, and he never could. It was almost like a dream, which Harry thought wasn't sounding so bad at that moment. Sirius was getting married … to Allyson.

His breathing grew a little faster and he felt his heartbeat quicken just a bit; his mouth felt dry, stolen of all taste, and slowly Harry felt shock course through him.

Allyson. Of all the people in the world, it had to be her! Why not that lady that was at Isabella's barbeque that time, as well? Harry tried to think of her name. Wasn't it Amelia Eve? Yes, he was pretty sure that it was. Amelia Eve seemed nice, and she liked Remus, Sirius and himself. She was pretty, as well, so why didn't Sirius go for her?

It just had to be the one person that Harry was not at all fond of.

"Harry?" Sirius searched Harry's face with concerned eyes, but Harry still didn't respond. He was still trying to put everything together. He felt almost … angry at Sirius. Then he knew why.

"You tell me now?" Harry exclaimed loudly, startling both himself and Sirius. "Now, of all times? Why didn't you tell me about you thinking of engaging Allyson beforehand? I—I can't believe that you tell me a week after you propose!" Then Harry looked down at his hands. "We used to tell each other everything. I'm—"

"You're hurt that I didn't tell you before I proposed to her," Sirius interrupted, finishing Harry's sentence. He let out a long sigh and dropped his head. "Harry, you know that you can tell me stuff. I can tell you stuff, too. I have absolutely know idea why I didn't tell you before I was going to propose to her. You have every right to be hurt and angry with me—"

"Of course I do!" Harry yelled, scowling. "How would you like it, Sirius, if I just told you now, about a few days after I did it, that I proposed to a girl?"

Sirius frowned. "Aren't you a little too young to be engaged?"

Harry's scowl never left his face. "Sirius!" After a long, silent, angry gaze at his godfather, Harry spoke again. "How would you feel if I told you that? Just like you're telling me this now?"

"I'd feel the exact same way," Sirius admitted. "I'm so sorry Harry … I don't why I didn't tell you …"

"That's not the only thing I'm angry at," Harry said. "Why did you propose to her when you know that I don't like Allyson? And that Remus doesn't like her, either? Merlin, Sirius—she'd be moving in with us! She'd drive us … she'd drive us … mad!"

When Harry finally let out a few breaths, he relented. In a lower and softer voice than before, he said, "Did you tell Remus about engaging Allyson?"

This time, it was Sirius who looked down at his hands. "No."

Harry slowly gave his head a half-nod. "You know that, if she does move in, that Remus and I are moving out?"

Sirius head shot up until he met Harry's gaze, his face wearing a surprised and shocked expression. "No, you're not."

Harry frowned at the firmness in Sirius's voice, and shrugged. "I was kidding, but I won't lie and tell you that I wasn't going to think about it."

Slowly he felt all anger leave his body, with only a little remain of it in his stomach.

"That means, since you propose to Allyson, that you told her about being a wizard, didn't you?" Harry said, staring at Sirius.

Sirius's eyes never left Harry's, but he didn't speak. Although, that was all of the answer that Harry needed. Though Sirius said nothing, it said everything.

He did.

—

A/N: Finished! Don't hate me for the long update. I'm sorry. Review! But with two stories going on, you might just see a bit of a 'long' pattern going on with the updates of chapters.