Title: I Thought So
Author: Foxhana
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst / Romance
Pairing: Hikaru / Kaoru
Warning: OOCness of the characters. Well, what do you expect from angst? AND this is unedited. And I'm not intending to post the beta-ed one, because I'm not intending to get it beta-ed. dont ask why, i just felt really emo and not doing anything anymore to this story when i wrote it. sorry.
Disclaimer: I dont own any single character that i used in this fanfic. I own only my story and the plot in this story. And this is purely and solely written for the fans out there, and of course, my personal imagination and desires of the anime. :D

I dont hate her, but I hate him.

It all started when she broke the vase and owed the host club eight million dollars. That was when, step by step, day by day, she broke into our world. Our world that we kept so tightly closed, and that we cherished so much. However, that changed when she open the doors to the third music room; our third music room.

She was forced to join the host club, to pay of her debts for breaking the vase. We had thought she was a he at first, and it was great then. Because Hikaru never took a second look to Haruhi. His eyes were only for me.

However, that changed. When we knew Haruhi was a girl, Hikaru started to take second glances at her everytime after the first of the day. Stolen glances. And glances that I really hate. Why? Because his eyes are only for me, or so I thought.

Today we're having a normal host club session, open to our ladies guests as usual. And as usual, Hikaru and I are sitting down on the couch, talking to our customers.

But, there he goes again; he's always looking the other way, the way to Haruhi whenever she is in the same room as us.

It hurts, to know that that someone you're holding on to so dearly all your life, is just floating, slipping away just like that. We had flirted so many times, and they were all for our love. Real love. We flirted with each other because we were jealous, because we were thankful, because we were happy, because we were sad, because of everything that happened to either or both of us. However, since Haruhi came into the host club, Hikaru looks as if flirting with me has become a chore, an act for business even.

As usual, I flirted with him today. However, it's not because of ourselves, it was because of Haruhi. He was looking at her, with such eyes.. that he used to had only for me. I flung myself in his arms, and he was a little surprised, which he never was, for we love each other so much.

I pretended to be jealous that he was treating my customers better than he treated me.

"Oh Hikaru! Why are you looking so dearly at our customers? I thought your eyes are only for me..?" I pretended to cry, a tear rolling down my cheeks.

And he went along with it, taking me in his arms and twirled me around before kissing me on the nose tip, making the customers scream with envy.

"Oh Kaoru, my eyes ARE for you only, for you are the only one, that I had spent time with every single day of my life, that I had spend every single moment with, and will continue sharing with what we have, especially our love for each other, for each and every night!"

And of course, this made the customers squeal again.

"Oh Hikaru, I'm sorry for misunderstanding you. I understand that you have work to do, as I do too. But I just cannot bear with the loneliness when you're talking to our customers."

And I of course, pretended to be so touched and "fell" into his arms once again, hugging him so tightly and never wanting to let go.

And so the day had ended, and we were prepared to go to our room as usual. However, Hikaru went over to Haruhi. I have no idea what he was talking about to her, but they certainly look like two people who hit off really well, and was going into a relationship.

I stood up from the couch, and walked back into our room. Our room.. soon to be his room. And I will have my own room as well, in due time, when I leave. I had already applied for changing schools, and the school had approved it, although quite surprised that it was only me, and not us. I began to pack my clothes and personal belongings into my suitcase.

However, I realized something. There was never a "my clothes and my personal belongings", it's always "our clothes and our personal belongings" because we share every single thing that we use. What can I take..? Nothing I guess.. I'll leave everything to him.. partly because they belong to him as well, and partly.. I don't want any memories of him anymore.

I had never wanted to let go, but he let our love go. And perhaps, it was time for me to let it go as well. Perhaps it was time for me to go. Go to somewhere else, leave the host club, leave the school, leave our home and house, and leave him. Go to some place where I can stay, where I can find new love, where I can forget what he has given me.. or maybe not and of course.. where I can let him find me not.

end.