Here it is. Reveiw and I'll give you Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandy!
-&-
I'm with Scotty. We're talking about giant ducklings.
...He is so dumped.
"Oh, and I remember this one time-"
"Scotty?"
"Yeah, Lily?"
"You're dumped. Cast asunder! Set out on the streets! Sacked! Given the boot! Dropped! Rejected! Left outside alone! Dead to me!"
I looked at Scotty, anticipating a freak out. He stared back blankly.
DAMN THOSE STUPID EYES!
...I know I should be more sympathetic but... Yeesh. He could at least wear sunglasses or something.
"Is that all?" he asked.
"I guess," I said, still weary.
Maybe he's having like... a delayed reaction freak out.
That MUST be it.
He got up to leave.
And then looked straight at me, right into my eyes.
And said, "Oh, and now that there's no chance of us having sex, Lily, you're a bitch. A really big bitch."
I stared at him in shock, my mouth wide open.
He's a...
A...
MAN BITCH!
"You can't talk to me like that!" I said, outraged.
"Why?" he sneered.
"Because your eyes are wonky! And wonky eyed people SHOULDN'T HAVE CONFIDENCE! YOU SHOULD BE CRYING. CRYING, I TELL YOU! SOBBING!" I screamed in a Tom Cruise-esque manner.
...And by that I mean, crazily.
"What do you mean my eyes are wonky?" Scotty said, in plain confusion.
Oh.
My.
God.
He's been living with these eyes for sixteen years, and he hasn't realized that one was ew-ish. Wait, that isn't a word. Grotesque-ish.
So, I did what any abnormal teen would do. I cackled. I laughed and laughed until I was doubled up on the floor.
In between gasps of laughter I managed a sort of half wheezed, "hahaha... You... Didn't... Realize... Your... Cock-eyed."
The cock-eyed bit only made me laugh harder. Unfortunately.
I think it was about then the Scotty left me.
I couldn't see because my eyes were filled with tears of releif... I mean, laughter.
I wasn't crying. And if anyone tells you I was crying because I really damaged my relationship with Daria and James for nothing, well...
They're lying.
And what do we do to liars?
We punch them in the chest and run really fast.
-&-
Ok, so I'm actually crying. And I'm still in the foetal position at the moment in this hall, crying. But I'm not actually late for classes anything because it's night time.
What about Finch, I hear you ask?
Well, let's just say I have an inkling he's on a date with Proffessor Bishop.
...Oh yes.
So, I'm still crying.
And thinking about James and how I've been such an idiot and it really should of been so freaking easy. It should of been all, 'Hey, I like you,' 'Gosh golly! I like you a lot too!' 'Ok, let's-'
"FUCK!" I cried as something invisible kicked me in the back.
I heard something stumble, and then fall. I could see a leg from no where.
I COULD SEE A LEG! JUST A LEG! JUST STICKING THERE IN THIN AIR!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed, backing away slowly from the offending appendage.
"...Lily?"
I know that voice.
"James?"
And then it was like some magical thingy happened and then James was just... There.
"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" I hit him on the arm, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I WAS SCARED!"
James was chuckiling, his hair illuminated by the moonlight.
Illuminated?
Moonlight?
Don't be goin' 'n usin' them fancy words on me, girlieeee.
And I started crying again.
I think it may be PMS. You know what, it probably is.
Ugh. And someone's witnessing my crying.
He must be anhialated.
"Oh, Lily, I'm sorry if I frightened you," he said, hugging me.
"I'm NOT crying because you frightened me, you homosexual turd eel. I'm not crying, at all. Idiot," I said, whilst sobbing.
"Okay then," James said, sighing.
Silence.
... More silence.
The pauses were only broken by the weird quasi-gaspy noises escaping my mouth.
... Even more silence.
... Yet another silent pause.
"I kind of just realized what a bitch I've been being to you," I said through gaspy sobby thingamabobagummymawhatsitsetceteras.
"You haven't been being a bitch to me..." James said.
But he used the tone that people use when they're telling an obese Ruth that she's pretty. The lying, kind of, 'eeeeee, I'm just trying not to hurt your feelings,' thing.
"I'm really sorry. I've put you through so much shit. I'm sorry," I repeated.
"S'okay."
There was applause from behind us.
Ruth stepped out of the shadows, still clapping, which was making he lard-filled arms flap, which was making me slowly more and more sick. She was wearing a fluro-yellow mini dress, which bulged all around her, and her frizzy, disgusting hair was pulled into one of those high-top buns across her hair.
As the lard filled arms ceased their flailing, she said snottily, "Well, well, well, here we have a couple of little love birds, like, love-birding... and chiriping... and stuff... I'm going to totally report you and, like, get rewarded."
"Ruth," James said calmly, "Wouldn't reporting us make you have to admit that you were, in fact, down here too?"
You could see it on her extremely double-chinned face. She hadn't thought of that.
I snickered as she swore a loud, loud swear.
"You suck Ruth!" I said obnoxiously.
I bet you a million galleons she shall run away and cry.
...Pay up.
"I love you, Lily," James said, slinging his arm around my shoulder as we walked off into the darkness.
"And I love you too, James," I said.
... I said the L Word.
And I meant it.
And it wasn't hard.
I'm gonna make it after all.
... I wish I had a beret to throw up into the air.
-&-
(Those last two lines were in refrence to the movie FAME, in case you didn't realize)
Yes, that is the end of LILIES. But there be a sequel coming to your Fanfiction soon! It be called:
Liles: Priceless
Here is a preview:
"So, like, then what happened?" giggled Daria excitedly, all ill feelings forgotten as we sat gorging ourselves on chocolate.
"Well, after that, Ruth burst into tears and left," I said.
"Duh! It's, like, tradition! Then what happened?"
"Um... Well, James and I... You know..."
"DID IT?"
"WHAT? NO!" I said, flustered, "NO! We snogged! How could you possibly think we'd Do It, right then and there? I mean, that's just so... Ruth-esque."
"Totally. I so agree... Then what happened?"
"Well, I came here Daria... What's been happening with your life?" I asked, picking up a very large chocolate log.
"Um... I'm kind of a thing with Sirius Black..." she said non-chalantly, "And Remus Lupin. I'm thinking of, like, training them to fight to the death for me."
... I've created a monster.
Now, for the reveiws:
pyscho-pyro-shrink: No! Don't apologize for the joke! It's hilarious times a million and six.
Miss-Kat: No, don't call me T-R. Miss X shall do suffiecently. Lol, Lily being a bitch is part of her charm, you dig?
Leslie Anne Levine: I like you too! Thanks for the kind words.
Queen Noisila: Lol, yes, Lily is a bitch. But it's in a good way, I think, because atleast she is a light-hearted, neurotic, manical... I forgot where I was going with this...
Scarlet Emerald: We should hold a Memorial Ceremony for the reveiw that could have been! Purple Cement would be as cool as Vanilla Ice, and we all know how cool that is.
Snuffles 101: I'm glad you love the story! You should! With all the blood and sweat and tears and pixie dust I've put into it, you should! (Wouldn't it be gross if I actually did..). The cat mafia, you say? I know it well. Very well, chum.
Addled.brain: Very well. Thanks for sending me the hurry along message, it's because of you this chapter got made so fast!
Kute Anime Kitty: Lol. Toe tally.
Amarvi: I won't marry you, but I can arrange a lovely mail-ordered bride. She can't talk, or speak, and she in two hundred and fifty pounds and can only wear moomoos, but... Um... She's beautiful on the inside...?
Katie: Thanks!
The Prankster Queens: There you go, I've updated. I'll take a rain check on the pretty please, but if you have any camel spit left...
Renee: Ok, here is my attempt at yelling at Snuffles: VAMPIRES DON'T GIVE LOVEBITES, WEREWOLVES DO.
Verity: Why, thank you.
pickles. Acorns are the thing that is wrong with America! I Agree!
Gary Loves Pickles: I know, it was totally beautiful, man.
Luanna: Lol, it does rock like one million and fifteetwo.
Mitzi: That was uncalled for, yo.
For The Last Time In This Fanfic,
Fartheewell, my punked up rides,
Trapped Rabbit.