AN: I finished a fic! I am not a failure!

Okay, so I sort of write this...a year and a half ago and forgot to post it, but I still "finished" it. It was my goal this summer, the Summer of Fic! Exciting!

Trillian gestured back to the entrance. "Come on, we really shouldn't be in here while the Improbability Drive is working."

Harry sighed and got up, following Trillian out the door, which made a happy beep as they passed through it. On the way out Trillian kicked the door with her elbow. Trillian began winding her way through the ship back to the main area where Zaphod was probably watching a show, and Ford was probably sleeping.

Trillian, for all her mathematical genius, could not always be right. When they walked into the room, Zaphod's left head was immersed in an Ultra Cricket match, and Ford was looking for food.

"Where are we going?" Trillian asked Zaphod's right head. Harry found this quite disconcerting, and tried to imagine that he knew the faces on the two heads. This only made him shriek quickly in disgust when he imagined Hermione's head next to Professor Snapes'.

"Oh, Trillian. And improbable Monkeyboy," he nodded over to Harry.

"Erm, it's Harry, actually. And you are?"

"Zaphod Beeblebrox. I know, it really is an honor to meet me."

"Um. Sure."

Zaphod's left head had already lost interest in Harry and had begun to watch the game again. His right head scoffed and turned to Trillian. "We're going to Y'arthen."

"Why?" she asked.

This time it was Ford who responded. "They have the best tuna fish salad in the galaxy! Man, I'm starving." He glumly sat down on a chair and began sucking on his towel, while his chair turned into a banana.

"Three point five seven eight to the twenty-third power to one against," the computer supplied.

Zaphod's right head gave a quick nod to the gleaming computer. "The best thing I ever stole, right Trillian?"

She nodded. "It really is a technological wonder."

Harry sat down in a chair nearby the banana, noting its sweet, accurate smell and coloring.

Harry had gone through a very traumatic last half an hour. First he had lost ten house points in Herbology because he dropped his potted Death Snare, only to disappear from Hogwarts and find out that the world was destroyed for no reason that he had been given yet. And he had just been called "Monkeyboy" by a man with two heads. If he was a normal sort of person, this would have caused him to probably have a fit of sobs. Instead, he turned into a ham sandwich.

"Seven to the power of thirty four to one against," the computer said.

Trillian looked sadly at the sandwich. She had liked the kid a bit. He was slow on the uptake, but seemed like he could have enjoyed being a traveler around the Universe, on only forty bucks a day.

Zaphod's left head was too involved in the game to care, but the right head distantly felt a sense of regret that the human had not turned into roast beef.

Ford registered that a ham sandwich had appeared next to his banana, with a nice side of French fries and a pickle. He was too hungry to think of the cosmic implications.

Harry Potter knew none of this. Instead, he noted that he was lying in the grass outside of Herbology and there was dew on his clothing and a group of teachers staring at him with queer looks. Again, he was confused. And, as he later told Professor McGonagal, had a strange loss of memory from the time he left Herbology to the moment he woke up in the mud. Snape had screwed up his face and given him a detention. Life was as normal as it could be at Hogwarts.

And in the Heart of Gold, a few rooms away from Trillian, Zaphod and Ford, poor Arthur was trying to brew tea out of bits paper and beef bullion cubes.

AN: I hope you enjoyed (three years later...er, sorry about that). As for Harry, I still hold the conviction that he's not a particularly intelligent person, which explains why he didn't just poof some tea for Arthur in the first place.

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