[Dear Reader: ~~~~~~~~~ indicates a flashback]
My normally silent footsteps echoed satisfactorily on the marble flooring as I strolled through my palace in the pre-dawn hours. As a young boy, I had learned to move as quietly and cat-like as possible in order to steal for the gypsies and then later for myself. The novelty of hearing my footfalls on the marble was curiously enjoyable. Drifting contentedly through the gorgeous building, I occasionally reached out to caress the cold marble pillars like an ardent lover. It was difficult to believe how many years had slipped by unnoticed during the construction. Smiling faintly to myself, I wondered what Garnier was up to these days. His was the only semblance of friendship I had known except for the vexatious relationship with Nadir. Still, it was somewhat consoling to know that I did indeed have a conscience. Even if he were a damned annoyance at times.
In thinking of the Daroga, my mind recalled a recent conversation between us.
"Certainly you know you cannot continue to live such a secluded life, Erik. It isn't good for a man to live in such isolation." Nadir droned on while leaning against the wall by the lake with his arms behind his back.
Our words echoed through the passages of the underground lake.
"Ah but you forget, my dear Daroga, that I am not in isolation. If I were in true isolation, we would not be having this conversation now would we?" I sarcastically replied. I was reclined upon a chair facing him with my arm resting on my knee watching him warily.
Exhaling in exasperation, Nadir gazed at me pointedly from under his fez. I could perceive there was something sensitive which he wished to discuss and steeled myself for his onslaught. In no way was I prepared for his next comment.
"Erik, do you not ever need...companionship?"
Immediately ascertaining his sordid meaning, I rose swiftly to turn away from him. "God damn you, Nadir! How could you even ask me that? After what you witnessed in Mazanderan..." My voice trailed into a long silence that hung between us.
I glanced over my shoulder and he hung his head in shame, but continued to speak softly, "No man can live without slaking certain...urges, Erik. There is no disgrace in this."
I remained as still as a statue as I spat out, "No - Nadir! There is no disgrace in such desires UNLESS IT IS A MONSTER WHO LUSTS AND WANTS! I am not permitted such primal privileges!" My entire body quaked with fury as we both listened to my enraged voice echo along the lake enclosure. Any other man who would dare speak such utterances in my presence would have long gone to see Allah. Nadir was precariously close himself at that moment.
"Forgive me, my old friend. It is only that I worry for you. My concern is merely a product of my anxiety for you. That is all." he murmured eyeing me.
Silence reigned for several moments and it took immense control for me to stand there in my abject humiliation.
"No man is an island, Erik. Sooner or later, you will have to admit that. Whether by choice or by fate. It is simply not natural." he whispered softly.
"Your concerns are unfounded, Daroga, You seem to forget the rejection for which I am condemned to this accursed place. I have my music and my morphine - that is all I need. Now if you will excuse me from this tiresome conversation." I declared while striding towards my boat.
"Until next week, my friend." He called out an irritating reminder and subtle threat that I had better meet him at the appointed time.
It was damnable to have a conscience.
Why would I remember such an embarrassing moment with intense premonition now? I discovered I had stopped in my tracks while lost in thought. Shaking my head as if to clear it, I continued my excursion while I questioned my sanity. Could I be slowly losing my mind to the morphine and the sphere of my imagination? Sighing audibly, I decided I must find something to occupy my time. Well, I could rectify that easily enough. Mentally reviewing the various projects I was working on at the time, I foolishly attempted to ignore the persistent voice that followed me.
Turning to the left, I entered Poligny's office through the door (no need to be ghostly at this time of day). I placed the note on his office chair while noticing some legal papers lying upon his desk. Scrutinizing them, I realized he intended to leave the employ of the Opera Populaire. I wearily conceived that I would have to break in yet another manager in order to keep Jules' family with provision. Then again, I could not expect many men to remain in a position of subjection to the fear-inspiring Opera Ghost. It occurred to me that I had been particularly too successful in my haunting techniques. No matter I shrugged as I locked the office, I could do it once more. Men were all too easily fooled by their senses.
I once more prided myself on my unique perspective standing outside the human race. Disdainfully aloof, I held mere men in contempt in no way counting myself among them. Experience had shown me that I could hold life and death in my hands yet neither of them overly concerned me. Showing no preference for one over the other, I did what I had to in order to survive. Nevertheless, those who showed such a cowering weakness to my prowess received no pity from me.
For once, I was grateful that I had been spared from the messiness of emotions.