Forever Young

by shistarlet

He'd be with her always now...fifth and final of series

Title: Forever Young
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Of course I still don't own it...if I did, you'd know...
Summary: He'd be with her always now. Every time she closed her eyes she'd see him smiling back at her, those dark eyes revealing all his secrets to her - and only her.
A/N: All right...this is the last one! I also want you to know that I don't think I own the title. So many people have used it for songs, movies, and all kinds of stuff. So, yeah, not mine...Anyway, I've really enjoyed writing this, even though it's been one of the most difficult stories that I've ever written. I didn't realize how hard it would be to weave the character in with our boys. It's been great!

Forever Young

She knew these would be the longest days of her life. These days where it was only the three of them, killing time by playing cards and reading aloud from Gone with the Wind. She'd grown tired of baloney the minute they opened the first package, so lived on a steady diet of bread, peanut butter, Coke, and cigarettes. It had only been two days.

"If I'd have known you didn't like baloney, I'd have at least gotten jam," Johnny said, amused, while making himself a sandwich.

Ace laughed from where she sat next to Pony on what had once been the raised floor for the altar. "If I'd have known, I'd have told you," she answered as he returned.

Johnny smiled at her before he sat down between her stretched out legs, his back toward her. As Pony began to read aloud to them again, she scooted closer to Johnny, leaning her chin on his shoulder, listening intently to Pony and trying to ignore the scent of baloney from the sandwich.

She was totally lost in every word Pony read, startled when Johnny turned to look at Pony. "Man, that's gross," he declared vehemently, swallowing a bite of sandwich.

She couldn't help but laugh - just a little bit. He turned to playfully glare at her, his bottle of Coke stopped halfway to his mouth. He stretched his neck a bit more, lightly kissing the tip of her nose before taking a drink from the bottle held in his hand. Neither of them saw Pony smile after witnessing the moment between them.

As Pony continued, Ace stole Johnny's pop, taking a drink herself before settling back on his shoulder to listen to Pony.

That evening when Pony went to watch the sunset, Johnny and Ace decided to sit on the back steps of the church rather than follow Pony out into the open field.

"Sure is pretty, huh?" Johnny's voice spoke from above her.

She sat on the step below him, his legs on either side of her as she leaned back against him.

"Yeah," she replied without turning to look at him. "It's a wonder Pony's so in love with sunsets. Neither of his brothers seem to notice anythin' like that. Sometimes I think they forget he's not like them."

When Johnny didn't answer right away, she turned, looking up into his dark eyes, lit by the setting sun. Noticing her stare, he looked down at her.

"That's why he's got us," he said simply. "To remember that he's diff'rent."

She smiled, thinking that he'd just said about the sweetest thing she'd ever heard. Knocking her out of her reverie, Johnny leaned down, planting a soft, chaste kiss on her full, pink lips.

"Thanks," she whispered as he pulled away, a dazed smile on her face and her eyes still gently closed.

"Yup," he replied shyly, leaning back once again. Their eyes stayed focused on one another for moments afterward, both of them still lost in the moment.

"Hey, you guys ready to go in?" Pony asked, strolling up to them casually. "I thought maybe I'd read some more to ya."

"Sure," Johnny sighed, standing and offering a hand to Ace.

Inside, Pony lit a few candles before settling on the floor in front of a bench. Above him, Ace sat with Johnny, his arm around her shoulders and his other hand carefully balancing a slowly burning cigarette between two fingers.

As Pony read aloud, Ace could feel herself dozing off. Before long, she was stretching out on the bench, laying her head in Johnny's lap. Sleep overtook her before Pony got too far into reading.

The last thing she remembered hearing was Pony and Johnny discussing who was more gallant: Soda or Dally. Had she had the energy, she would have expressed her agreement with Pony. She felt that Dallas was just too good at being bad to be gallant.

The next day was much like those before it spent at the church on Jay Mountain. Pony read more from the book while Johnny and Ace listened, smoking cigarettes and alternating between indoors and out.

That evening, as the two boys walked out into the open field to watch the sunset, Ace decided to once again settle on the back steps of the church, watching their silhouettes against the golden sky. It was as though she were looking at a painting, or a scene right out of Gone with the Wind.

She found herself wondering what they were talking about, but not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

As the sun disappeared below the horizon, she watched Pony and Johnny make their way back to the church. They walked slowly, both shoving their hands in their jeans pockets. She couldn't help but think that they looked incredibly out of place here in the quiet country. They both slouched and drug their feet a bit as was usual in their neighborhood. They looked nothing like anyone that could be found around here.

That night was colder than the previous few had been. To keep warm, the three of them had huddled together, not unlike so many nights back in the lot. It was comforting to Ace to feel as though they were back in Tulsa, and none of this had happened.

There had been no talk of Bob or the night he died since the small argument that Pony and Johnny'd had just after they'd all cut their hair. Ace was okay with that. If they didn't talk about it, she could push the memory away.

"Hey," Johnny whispered roughly in her ear. She could barely see him in the dark when she turned to look at him. "You warm enough?"

She hadn't even known that she'd shivered until he said something. "Yeah," she smiled, tucking her head under his chin. "I was just thinking about home."

"I know, it's hard, huh?"

She nodded, feeling the tears burning behind her eyes. She'd never thought something like this would be so hard on her. And it was only the beginning.

"Hey, blondie!"

Ace thought she was imagining Dallas' voice. That was, until Pony greeted the hood. Trying to slowly open her eyes against the light, Ace rolled over, groaning from the stiffness.

She didn't say anything as the boys greeted Dal and he gave Pony a letter from Soda. As Pony read through the letter Johnny asked if the cops were looking for them or if it were safe to come home. Dally avoided many of the questions, sending quick glances at Ace whenever he could. It was as if he could see right through her, and knew something was different.

"Do you guys want to get somethin' to eat?" Dally asked, taking a drag from the cigarette Johnny'd given him.

"Yeah," the three of them agreed, following Dal out of the church and to the car he'd borrowed from Buck.

Ace sat in the back with Pony, holding tightly onto the seat so as not to have a heart attack over Dally's driving. She thanked God every time they passed another vehicle and managed to lived past it.

"Hope you guys are in the mood for barbecue," Dal shouted, pulling into the parking lot of Dairy Queen.

The passengers, scared out of their minds, had no disagreements with the choice. Not hearing any complaints, Dally ordered each of them a barbecue sandwich, fries, and a Coke, driving over to a fairly deserted section of the parking lot once they received their food.

Ace kept quiet, picking at her food as Johnny and Dallas talked, Pony interjecting every now and again. At one point, Dally even pulled out the unloaded gun he'd begun carrying.

"Dally, you kill people with heaters!" Pony cried, nearly choking on his sandwich.

Ace was glad that she hadn't taken a bite before Dal had pulled it out. She figured she'd be choking right now for sure.

"Hey mister, do you have fifteen cents?" A little girl had approached the car.

"No," Dally exclaimed, slipping his sunglasses on. "Go away!"

Ace averted her eyes, just like Pony and Johnny, as Dallas tried to get the girl to leave.

"We're goin' back, we're gonna turn ourselves in," Johnny declared.

Ace could feel her jaw drop, and could see the surprise on both Pony's and Dallas' faces. She could feel the blood rushing from her face, and could no longer hear anything the others said.

As she sat back in the seat, she lost herself in thoughts of what could possible happen to Johnny. She knew that she wouldn't be in any trouble. And even if Pony, Cherry, and she testified that Johnny had acted out of self-defense, it didn't necessarily mean he'd be let off.

She could smell the smoke before she saw it. Her stomach dropped, fear overtaking her. When they reached the church, Pony immediately jumped out of the back seat. She didn't feel faint until Johnny followed Pony into the blazing fire.

"Johnny!" she screamed, moving to go after him.

Dallas grabbed her arm, holding her in the back seat. "Stay here, kid," he said, jumping out as well.

She saw Dal pull Pony from the fire, and without thinking, she jumped out of the car, rushing to Pony's side. Moments later, Dallas ran in to save Johnny, whose yells could be heard from where they stood. Neither of them got out before the roof caved in.

When the ambulances arrived, they were kind enough to let Ace ride with Johnny. She waited, sitting next to where he lay unconscious, burns covering his arms, chest, neck, and legs.

Silent tears ran down her cheeks, making trails in the soot and ash that had landed on her face. She laid a hand on his shoulder, one of the few pieces of skin that wasn't burned and bleeding. Under her breath she muttered short prayers, her voice shaking nearly as much as her body with sobs.

"Please, God, don't let him die. If there's any justice in this world, you won't let him die, God," she cried. "Damn you, Johnny Cade, don't you dare leave me now."

At the hospital, doctors and nurses crowded around Johnny, and Ace was told to stay in the waiting area. Before long, Pony joined her, covered in dirt and soot, but without any burns. Without hesitating, he wrapped her in a warm soothing hug, pulling her over to sit with him.

She sat silently, while Pony talked aimlessly with the man that had been with the kids outside the church.

Her breath caught in her throat the instant she saw the nurse wheeling Johnny down the hall. He was still unconscious, dark eyelashes resting gently against bronzed skin.

She didn't hear what Dally said to Pony as they rolled him by. She was already making her way to the nurses' station.

"Excuse me," she said in a quiet voice.

A nurse with light blonde hair looked up at her, recognition in her blue eyes. "You're the girl that came in with the burn victims, aren't you?"

Ace nodded. "I was wondering if I could see my friend now."

"They only just took them to their rooms, but I'm sure it would be all right," the nurse replied in a sympathetic tone. "Why don't you just follow me." She came out from behind the desk and led Ace down the quiet hallway.

She couldn't help but notice how small Johnny looked lying there on his back, covered in sterile, white blankets. She choked back tears as she moved closer, her hand covering her mouth to stifle her sobs.

She pulled the only chair in the room up next to his bed and sat down, her legs tucked under her as she leaned on the edge of the stiff hospital bed, laying her head next to his on the pillow.

"Gracie." His voice was rough from all the smoke he'd breathed in.

She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there with him, but was surprised when he spoke her name.

"Yeah, Johnnycake?"

"Go to Pony's, get some sleep," he ordered, turning to look at her.

She could feel hot, silent tears making their way down her cheeks. "No, Johnny, I'm staying here with you," she replied firmly, despite the lump in her throat.

He didn't say anything, knowing he'd lost the fight before it had even begun. Sighing heavily, he leaned back on his pillow, aware that Ace's eyes are still on him.

"It doesn't hurt," he lied, somehow knowing that was her concern. "I'm okay."

She wasn't sure if she believed him, but accepted what he said without reply. Holding back more tears, she laid her head down next to his once again.

She didn't sleep well, if at all, sitting next to Johnny's bed, hearing small whimpers of pain from him while he slept.

When the doctor came in early the next morning, it was obvious that he was surprised to see anyone but Johnny there.

"Good morning," he said to Ace in a tired voice. That was when she knew that things were worse than she could have imagined.

Johnny stirred at the sound of the doctor's voice, his eyes opening slowly against the bright light in the room. "Hey, doc," he rasped. Ace wasn't buying the act, and Johnny knew it the moment he looked into her eyes.

"I'm afraid I've got some bad news," the doctor began. Ace felt the blood drain from her face at the words.

She only barely heard the doctor tell Johnny exactly what the extent of his injuries were. He was not only severely burned, but the fall he'd taken through the fire eaten floor had broken his back. He was paralyzed from the waist down and would never walk again.

Ace tried to be strong, but couldn't hold back the tears that came with the thought of Johnny, at only 16 years of age, no longer being able to use his legs.

A few moments later, a couple of nurses came in and turned Johnny over onto his stomach. They didn't explain why, and neither Johnny nor Ace asked. They were at least nice enough to place a mirror under the head of his bed so he could see Ace - or anyone else who came to visit.

"You're awful quiet," Johnny remarked after sitting in silence with Ace for a long while.

"What do you want me to say?" she replied in a flat tone.

"I don't know. You could tell some of Two-Bit's old - " his voice broke, another whimper of pain. "Old jokes."

"Johnny, I really don't think - " she stopped short at his sharp intake of breath.

Gently, she placed a hand on his bare shoulder, as tears began trails down her cheeks once again.

"I wish Pony'd come by," he sighed, his voice hoarse again. There was no point in pretending any longer. He knew she'd be worried and scared no matter how hard he tried to be strong for her. He couldn't blame her for being worried and scared, either.

Moments later, Johnny fell into a fitful sleep. Ace wondered if it wasn't sleep at all, but he'd simply passed out from pain.

Ace wasn't surprised to hear yelling in the hallway later, recognizing one voice as Two-Bit's. She also wasn't surprised when the doctor told the nurse to let the two boys in. She knew as well as he did that Johnny wasn't getting any better.

Johnny had been awake for a while, the two of them sitting in silence when Pony and Two-Bit entered. Both boys gave her a comforting smile, and Two-Bit even squeezed her shoulder lightly.

Ace didn't pay any attention to their conversation, but simply sat back toward the wall, a blank look on her tired face.

When Two-Bit grabbed her arm, she jumped up out of the chair, following him out into the hall, only barely registering that he told her they were going down to the gift shop.

Once there, Two-Bit easily found a copy of Gone with the Wind and they quickly left. All the while, he kept his arm around her shoulders, knowing he could do nothing more to comfort her.

When they returned to Johnny's room, both of them spotted his drunk of a mother outside and clearly heard Johnny say he didn't want to see her before he lost consciousness again.

The nurse quickly ushered the two boys out, but, having seen and spoken with Ace earlier, allowed her to stay, seated quietly in the chair.

Once Johnny's mother had been removed and Pony and Two-Bit had gone down to see Dal, the atmosphere quieted once again. Ace slid her chair up next to Johnny again and gently leaned against her shoulder.

Later that afternoon, when Johnny was awake again, he asked Ace to help him with a letter to Pony. The doctor had only just left, having told Johnny that he wouldn't make it. Johnny nodded, having somehow known all along, and offering a comforting smile to Ace.

He was on his back once again as he told Ace exactly what he wanted the letter to say. It took longer than expected, as Ace had difficulty seeing through the tears welling up in her eyes. Once he was finished, he told her to fold it and place it between the pages of the book she and Two-Bit had brought back.

"I want you to make sure he gets that, Gracie," he requested, his voice sounding tired and worn.

"Okay," she replied, just above a whisper. Not able to hold back her tears, she laid her head on the edge of the mattress, her body shaking with sobs.

"It's okay, Ace," Johnny whispered, laying a damaged hand on her head. "You can't let this get the best of you."

She looked up at him, her eyes still watery and red. "How could you do this to me?" she asked innocently. The incredulous tone was missing and both of them understood why - he was no more to blame than she.

He ignored her question, offering her a weak smile. He was slowly running out of energy. "You're my best girl, Gracie," he said sincerely. "I'll miss ya."

She smiled, knowing he meant every word of it. It was getting dark, and both of them recalled the doctor saying Johnny'd be lucky to make it through the night.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, averting her gaze.

"For what?"

"For not being strong enough to save you. For not having enough time to tell you that you're the best friend I'll ever have. For not being able to tell you just how much I love you sooner."

"I know," he smiled again, and she knew he was slipping away from her. She could hear the rain coming down outside. "I know all of that, Gracie." He choked, twisting his body from pain. "I love you, too, Ace."

Biting her lip as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, she laid her head on his chest. She didn't know how long they stayed like that, but lifted her head when Pony and Dal came in. She wasn't surprised by the state Pony was in - rumbles often got pretty rough.

She backed away, letting Johnny say goodbye.

She heard Dal say they won the fight, and Johnny's response that it was useless.

Her heart broke when Johnny pulled Pony close and told him to 'stay gold'.

She cried silent tears when those dark eyes closed for the last time and he took his last breath.

It was over. Outside of the gang, he'd led a painful existence, and now he was finished. She couldn't help but notice how peaceful he looked as Dallas yelled in rage and disappeared down the hallway.

Pony didn't say anything, just solemnly shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and stumbled out.

Ace, left alone in the silence, stepped to his side one last time. Gone was that nervous energy, and with it that quiet, tough exterior.

Leaning down, she placed a final kiss against his lips. She laid her hand on his chest, saying her last silent goodbyes.

She turned to leave before nurses and doctors came piling in, grabbing the book for Ponyboy that she would take to the house later.

Over the end railing of his bed was draped Johnny's worn jeans jacket. Ace remembered one of the nurses bringing it in earlier. It had survived the fire, but holes were burnt into the material.

Setting the book down for a moment on the edge of the mattress, Ace slipped into all she had left of him.

She turned to look at him one last time, swearing she saw a smile on that shy face.

He'd be with her always now. Every time she closed her eyes she'd see him smiling back at her, those dark eyes revealing all of his secrets to her - and only her.

Fin