After I tenderly put Christine to bed, I returned to the divan where I had
so recently held her while she'd slept. Collapsing onto it gratefully, I
smiled broadly into the flames. My first kiss! Christine had given me my
first kiss and the sensations were acutely exquisite. Unmasked and
ridiculously thrilled, I stared into the fire for hours. Sleep was an
impossibility. In awestruck wonder, I lifted my shaking fingertips to my
mouth. My eyes closed as I relived Christine's intoxicating kiss and to my
dismay, I found the memory just couldn't compare to her warm, soft lips on
mine.
As though she sensed my infidelity, Ayesha studiously ignored me as I sat trying to absorb the entire experience. It was a futile effort on my part because I was much too electrified to think clearly. All I could do as I sat there for half the night was to smile idiotically and feel as though my heart would burst.
Eventually, I forced myself to return to relax against the divan and I closed my eyes. Just for a minute.
I awoke the next morning and groggily looked about in confusion. Why had I fallen asleep here? In a warm, delicious rush, the entire evening came back to my sluggish senses and I sighed in gratification. Standing and stretching luxuriously, I picked up my mask and went to my bedroom to bathe and dress.
As I finished dressing, I nervously speculated how one is expected to behave after their first kiss. Although it was quite laughable at my age, I had no idea how to approach Christine this morning. Deciding to keep our relationship as normal as possible, I adjusted my waistcoat, took a deep breath, squared my shoulders and left my room. Striding purposefully towards the kitchen, I came face to face with her. Apparently, she'd just bathed as well because the scent of her damp, fragrant hair was invigorating. Intelligently, I cleared my throat and murmured "Christine....." Quickly busying myself to cover my discomfiture, Christine whispered "Good morning, Erik." My heart beat wildly in my chest and I severely tried to answer in a normal voice, "Did you sleep well, Christine?"
Glancing at her, she leaned casually against the counter with a steaming cup in both hands. Her eyes were brutally honest and she smiled shyly "No....not very." Then, she blushed and turned from me and I thought I would devour her whole. Like an idiot, I could not even answer as I prepared a light breakfast for her. I do not believe I had ever been so grateful for my mask in my entire life.
As though nothing were amiss and I kissed her every night of my life, Christine sat down at the mahogany table and asked, "What shall we do today, Erik?" I could not answer her because I did not trust my voice and nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders. The next thing I felt was her hand lightly on my arm and I froze in fright. I was certain I had done something wrong. "Erik......." she paused and I stood completely petrified as she continued in a gentle voice, "I don't believe I can eat all of that......" Quickly turning to face her in puzzlement and ready to question her, I noticed that I had piled an enormous amount of croissants and pastries onto an already overflowing plate. Biting my lip and wishing the floor would swallow me and my embarrassment, I muttered pointlessly, "No, I suppose not." Immediately, I began to remove the mountain of pastries trying desperately to think of something to say. Christine had mercifully moved away at that point and forcing my face into an expression of studied calm, I went to place the plate on the table before her. I refused to meet her eyes and went to make myself some tea.
Good God! I had to think of SOME damn thing to say! My mind seized on her previous question gratefully, "Would you like to do anything in particular today, Christine?" By then, I had gained enough of a tentative control over my raging emotions to look at her. Chewing, she appeared to be thinking and I stayed in the kitchen as far away from her as I could. Watching her vigilantly, she finally turned to look directly at me.
"Well, we really should practice today. I do need to work on the duet some more." Taking a sip of her tea, she looked down into it sadly and whispered, "And I must go home for awhile today."
My head shot up in alarm. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her that THIS was her home, but I refrained. "Oh?" I inquired while raising a brow and remaining completely still. "Is there something you need from there, Christine?"
Her face turned toward me and her expression registered surprise. "Well.....yes. Rehearsals begin again in a few days and I have been away for some time." She smiled hesitantly, "I cannot continue to take such advantage of your hospitality."
My heart fell and to cover my irrational grief that she was leaving, I poured myself some more tea. I didn't have confidence enough to speak to her at this point. She was leaving me. She was leaving me. Somehow, after what we shared together last night, it seemed an affront. Perhaps I had repulsed her. I had not known what to expect from Christine, but her immediate leaving-taking was definitely not it. Obviously, our kiss had touched me much deeper than it had her. My face froze into a cold expression and I questioned frigidly "When would you like to leave?" I sensed her stand but absolutely declined to look towards her. Christine stood at my side and I perceived her unease but I did nothing to alleviate it.
"Erik, I cannot continue to stay with you indefinitely. It would not be proper." She faltered and continued "I will still see you every day."
Turning from her abruptly, I answered haughtily, "You are quite right. And I have several projects I must complete without distractions."
Christine sighed sadly behind me and I cared not that I had categorized her as a 'distraction'. How could she leave? Now?! Unbidden, my mind went instantly to that damned boy and I illogically convinced myself that he was the reason. Not thinking plainly and needing to distance myself from her, I brushed past her and ignored her pleading hand.
Following me, Christine implored me from behind "Erik, is there something I did wrong? Did I displease you with my brazenness last evening?" Her candid question stopped me in my tracks and I stood with my hands clenched. Taking a deep breath, I turned around slowly and regarded her.
"Do you really believe you displeased me, Christine?" I fixed her with an encompassing stare and when she could not answer me, I continued softly. "What displeases me is that you find it necessary to rush away." If she wanted truthfulness, by God, she would have it!
Her lucent eyes glinted in the candlelight and she gripped one of the dining chairs with both hands. "Erik...what happened last night was........" Her pause resulted in my slow death as I waited in agony for her to continue. "....extraordinary." Lowering her lashes, she had begun to wring her hands again nervously and, remembering, put them behind her back. "Truthfully......I am unsure how to conduct myself now and I thought it would be best if I left for awhile." Licking her lips, she braved a look at me and even in the dim light, I could see her cheeks were crimson. "I do not wish to make you feel awkward with my discomfiture and I will stay if I do not make you uncomfortable." Blushingly, she looked down at the table with a sudden, consuming interest.
Once again, I stood completely immobile and ensnared by her feminine modesty. Feeling like a fool for reacting so harshly, I regarded her intensely. I resisted the urge to bridge the distance between us and take her in my arms. Mildly, trying to apologize for my earlier rudeness, I answered "You do not make me feel awkward, my Dear. I am sorry if I hurt you earlier."
Christine shook her head but still did not meet my eyes. Suddenly, I had to see what she was hiding and walked towards her. Taking her chin gently in my hand, I raised her face and gazed at her expression. Her brilliant blue eyes met mine and I watched, utterly captivated, as her gaze moved down to my lips. Inhaling sharply, I stared as she looked back into my eyes again guiltily. Did she wish to kiss me again?! Certain I was misreading the look in her eyes, I lowered my hand and took hers. "Whatever you decide to do is fine with me, ma Cherie'."
Nodding, she withdrew her hand and went towards her bedroom as I attempted to breathe. Christine paused at the threshold with her hand on the door and looked back at me with a tiny smile, "I will stay." Gently, she closed the door to dress and I immediately had to sit in one of the chairs as my knees went weak in relief.
As though she sensed my infidelity, Ayesha studiously ignored me as I sat trying to absorb the entire experience. It was a futile effort on my part because I was much too electrified to think clearly. All I could do as I sat there for half the night was to smile idiotically and feel as though my heart would burst.
Eventually, I forced myself to return to relax against the divan and I closed my eyes. Just for a minute.
I awoke the next morning and groggily looked about in confusion. Why had I fallen asleep here? In a warm, delicious rush, the entire evening came back to my sluggish senses and I sighed in gratification. Standing and stretching luxuriously, I picked up my mask and went to my bedroom to bathe and dress.
As I finished dressing, I nervously speculated how one is expected to behave after their first kiss. Although it was quite laughable at my age, I had no idea how to approach Christine this morning. Deciding to keep our relationship as normal as possible, I adjusted my waistcoat, took a deep breath, squared my shoulders and left my room. Striding purposefully towards the kitchen, I came face to face with her. Apparently, she'd just bathed as well because the scent of her damp, fragrant hair was invigorating. Intelligently, I cleared my throat and murmured "Christine....." Quickly busying myself to cover my discomfiture, Christine whispered "Good morning, Erik." My heart beat wildly in my chest and I severely tried to answer in a normal voice, "Did you sleep well, Christine?"
Glancing at her, she leaned casually against the counter with a steaming cup in both hands. Her eyes were brutally honest and she smiled shyly "No....not very." Then, she blushed and turned from me and I thought I would devour her whole. Like an idiot, I could not even answer as I prepared a light breakfast for her. I do not believe I had ever been so grateful for my mask in my entire life.
As though nothing were amiss and I kissed her every night of my life, Christine sat down at the mahogany table and asked, "What shall we do today, Erik?" I could not answer her because I did not trust my voice and nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders. The next thing I felt was her hand lightly on my arm and I froze in fright. I was certain I had done something wrong. "Erik......." she paused and I stood completely petrified as she continued in a gentle voice, "I don't believe I can eat all of that......" Quickly turning to face her in puzzlement and ready to question her, I noticed that I had piled an enormous amount of croissants and pastries onto an already overflowing plate. Biting my lip and wishing the floor would swallow me and my embarrassment, I muttered pointlessly, "No, I suppose not." Immediately, I began to remove the mountain of pastries trying desperately to think of something to say. Christine had mercifully moved away at that point and forcing my face into an expression of studied calm, I went to place the plate on the table before her. I refused to meet her eyes and went to make myself some tea.
Good God! I had to think of SOME damn thing to say! My mind seized on her previous question gratefully, "Would you like to do anything in particular today, Christine?" By then, I had gained enough of a tentative control over my raging emotions to look at her. Chewing, she appeared to be thinking and I stayed in the kitchen as far away from her as I could. Watching her vigilantly, she finally turned to look directly at me.
"Well, we really should practice today. I do need to work on the duet some more." Taking a sip of her tea, she looked down into it sadly and whispered, "And I must go home for awhile today."
My head shot up in alarm. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her that THIS was her home, but I refrained. "Oh?" I inquired while raising a brow and remaining completely still. "Is there something you need from there, Christine?"
Her face turned toward me and her expression registered surprise. "Well.....yes. Rehearsals begin again in a few days and I have been away for some time." She smiled hesitantly, "I cannot continue to take such advantage of your hospitality."
My heart fell and to cover my irrational grief that she was leaving, I poured myself some more tea. I didn't have confidence enough to speak to her at this point. She was leaving me. She was leaving me. Somehow, after what we shared together last night, it seemed an affront. Perhaps I had repulsed her. I had not known what to expect from Christine, but her immediate leaving-taking was definitely not it. Obviously, our kiss had touched me much deeper than it had her. My face froze into a cold expression and I questioned frigidly "When would you like to leave?" I sensed her stand but absolutely declined to look towards her. Christine stood at my side and I perceived her unease but I did nothing to alleviate it.
"Erik, I cannot continue to stay with you indefinitely. It would not be proper." She faltered and continued "I will still see you every day."
Turning from her abruptly, I answered haughtily, "You are quite right. And I have several projects I must complete without distractions."
Christine sighed sadly behind me and I cared not that I had categorized her as a 'distraction'. How could she leave? Now?! Unbidden, my mind went instantly to that damned boy and I illogically convinced myself that he was the reason. Not thinking plainly and needing to distance myself from her, I brushed past her and ignored her pleading hand.
Following me, Christine implored me from behind "Erik, is there something I did wrong? Did I displease you with my brazenness last evening?" Her candid question stopped me in my tracks and I stood with my hands clenched. Taking a deep breath, I turned around slowly and regarded her.
"Do you really believe you displeased me, Christine?" I fixed her with an encompassing stare and when she could not answer me, I continued softly. "What displeases me is that you find it necessary to rush away." If she wanted truthfulness, by God, she would have it!
Her lucent eyes glinted in the candlelight and she gripped one of the dining chairs with both hands. "Erik...what happened last night was........" Her pause resulted in my slow death as I waited in agony for her to continue. "....extraordinary." Lowering her lashes, she had begun to wring her hands again nervously and, remembering, put them behind her back. "Truthfully......I am unsure how to conduct myself now and I thought it would be best if I left for awhile." Licking her lips, she braved a look at me and even in the dim light, I could see her cheeks were crimson. "I do not wish to make you feel awkward with my discomfiture and I will stay if I do not make you uncomfortable." Blushingly, she looked down at the table with a sudden, consuming interest.
Once again, I stood completely immobile and ensnared by her feminine modesty. Feeling like a fool for reacting so harshly, I regarded her intensely. I resisted the urge to bridge the distance between us and take her in my arms. Mildly, trying to apologize for my earlier rudeness, I answered "You do not make me feel awkward, my Dear. I am sorry if I hurt you earlier."
Christine shook her head but still did not meet my eyes. Suddenly, I had to see what she was hiding and walked towards her. Taking her chin gently in my hand, I raised her face and gazed at her expression. Her brilliant blue eyes met mine and I watched, utterly captivated, as her gaze moved down to my lips. Inhaling sharply, I stared as she looked back into my eyes again guiltily. Did she wish to kiss me again?! Certain I was misreading the look in her eyes, I lowered my hand and took hers. "Whatever you decide to do is fine with me, ma Cherie'."
Nodding, she withdrew her hand and went towards her bedroom as I attempted to breathe. Christine paused at the threshold with her hand on the door and looked back at me with a tiny smile, "I will stay." Gently, she closed the door to dress and I immediately had to sit in one of the chairs as my knees went weak in relief.