After hearing Christine move about in her room, I knew she was awake and I sat down before the massive pipe organ. Playing softly, I selfishly mused that I would have her completely to myself for the entire day. Thinking of possible plans that would please her, I was aware the precise moment when she entered the room without even looking behind me. Sensing her trepidation at interrupting me, I stopped and turned to look upon her. Her glorious brown hair was upswept with several beguiling curls escaping around her graceful neck. Good Lord - she was beautiful. Her simple dress merely added to the allure of her innocent seductiveness and my breath ceased as I gazed upon her.
As she walked cautiously to me and inquired what I was playing, I knew a moment of profound, wistful longing. Staring at her, I had the abrupt thought that if she refused my offer of marriage, I would die without her. How could this young girl know that she held my life in her pretty, little hand? Exhaling sharply and continuing to devour her with my hungry eyes, I answered her inanely. The love I had for her staggered me to the depths of my soul and I literally shivered when her eyes met mine.
When Christine unexpectedly asked to remove my mask, I stared at her for a long time in disbelief. What.....why would she want to unmask me? Posing this question to her, I was hardly reassured by her reply that she did not know. Turning to face her fully, I took her hands in my own and even in my anguish, I reveled in her touch. In the back of my mind, I recalled the last time when she had taken my mask off and allowed me to kiss her. Still, the risk of her revulsion and disgust made me quake before her like a small boy. Gasping at her comment that she merely wished to see me, I suddenly stared down at the carpet at a complete loss. Why, in God's name, would she want to see me? A tumult of appalled thoughts churned through my mind and battled the instincts of an entire lifetime of solitude. What.....what if she needed to see me once more before committing her life to me? Pondering that question, my head lifted and I set my jaw in determination. I would do anything to keep her....anything to win the possibility of her love. Absolutely anything. Nodding once, I again cowardly shut my eyes to avoid seeing her inevitable aversion. Feeling her precious lips upon my hands in silent gratitude, I fought back a vicious wave of panic. Wanting nothing more than to get up and run, I forced myself to remain still and struggled with every innate urge to bolt.
As her fingers gently untied my mask, I broke out in a cold sweat. Surely when Christine's eyes fell once more on my horrible visage, she would need no more convincing. An intuitive sense told me that this cruel moment would somehow be the deciding factor. How I knew this, I cannot say, but I was certain of it. The cool air of the cellars felt foreign on my exposed cheek and I sat there silently dying. Having discarded my morphine into the underground lake the day I asked Christine to be my wife, I frantically thought that if she should leave me now, I would surely lose my thin clutch on sanity.
My ears were scalded with the sickening sound of her quick gasp and, saving the last vestiges of my pride, I turned my unmarred cheek to her. Damn it! I should have known better than to risk it again! My hands clenched into fists and my weak eyes threatened tears. Refusing to blubber like an infant in front of her, I took a deep breath and desperately tried to think of something to say. All I wanted was my mask......to just cover the raw, ugly part of me and spare her the hideousness.
I was aware of her touch upon my cheeks and I winced from the tender contact but did not meet her gaze since tears still burned my eyelids. Taking a shaky breath, I immediately exhaled in a rush of air as my dumbfounded gaze met her awed expression. What did she say? Positive that I had finally lost my mind and I was imagining this surreal moment, I stared at her stupefied. My confusion deepened as she smiled at my unmasked face and breathed "Erik........I love you!" The words swirled through my bewildered mind as I vainly attempted to comprehend her declaration.
Suddenly, as I looked upon at her expression, my dazed memory recalled the evening I had sat in Box Five and observed the young couple in the box across the auditorium. The woman had caressed her lover's handsome face and looked at me the way Christine was looking at me now. Impossible!
My limbs completely limp, she took my hands and held them securely. My heart was racing so fast that I distractedly hoped I would not have a heart attack. Thunderstruck, I slowly lifted my right hand to rub over my heart through my dress shirt. With a maidenly blush, I stared at her as my perplexed brain finally registered that she had asked me a question.
In my utter bafflement, I cleverly croaked, "What?"
Laughing girlishly, Christine nearly jumped in her excitement and I wondered fleetingly if it were she who had lost her mind. Holding my hand to her cheek, her lucid eyes sparkled as she whispered once again, "Erik, I said that I love you. Have.....have I displeased you?"
Looking around for a doubtful moment in extreme astonishment, my eyes met hers again and I almost forgot I wasn't wearing my mask. No one had ever said those words to me in my entire life. Even in my wildest fantasies, I had never expected Christine to actually LOVE me. No, I had hoped that I could persuade her to stay out of affection, perhaps, but never because she really loved me. No one could ever love me. My mother had told me so when I was a child.
A disgusting hope fought its way upward and burst through my amazement. With the patience of a saint, Christine explained with her hands still on my farce of a face, "Erik, I love you. I never realized how much until this very moment. I cannot imagine living without you now." My blurry gaze riveted to her dumbly, she smiled faintly and continued. The indisputable love in her beautiful eyes was almost too much for me to bear but I was paralyzed with shock. Stroking my face lightly, she breathed, "But I do love you.......and I would be......I would be honored to be your wife." Lowering her eyes shyly, she waited and I knew I had to say something, damn it, but I could not make myself function.
With extreme power of will, I raised my heavy arm to put my trembling hand on her cheek. Yes, she was real..... Swallowing hard, I frantically tried to put a suitable thought together but to my shame, my voice squeaked as I asked foolishly, "Does....does this mean you will stay, Christine?"
As though she understood my quandary, a surprising womanly smile of insight beautified her features. Nodding, she closed the gap between us and laid my marred cheek tenderly against her breast. "Yes, my....my Love. I will stay....always."
At her words, I gazed up at her incredulous and her shining eyes confirmed her words. An enormous relief washed over me like a cleansing baptism. Unwilling to have her witness my childish tears, I clutched her tightly about the waist and cried helplessly into her dress. She would stay....she would stay.......was all my foggy mind could comprehend. For many, many long minutes I sobbed quietly against her while her fingers tenderly combed through my hair. Her precious hands in my dark hair were exquisitely comforting and I eventually calmed.
As I blindly searched for a handkerchief in my trousers, Christine understandingly offered to make us some tea and promised to return swiftly. Nodding but not yet able to look at her, I mopped at my face and was grateful for a moment alone to recover. Silently, I admonished myself for my unmanly response. I should have kissed her passionately, as any other man would have done in such a situation! Sickened with my weakness, I reached to pick up my mask when it suddenly hit me. Christine had accepted to be my bride - while I was not masked! Holding the leather mask in my quivering hands, my heart overflowed with an intense joy that I had never known before. Tears filled my eyes once again but I stubbornly wiped at them before quickly replacing my mask. Taking deep breaths, I grappled with this overwhelming miracle as she came back into the drawing room. Setting the tea tray down on an end table, she looked at me compassionately. I had not moved from my bench since she had entered the room and as I made to stand up, she placed a gentle restraining hand on my shoulder. Looking up quizzically, she murmured, "Just a moment."
Christine knelt before me as I stared down at her mutely. Her gaze moved pointedly to my mask but she said nothing. Smiling softly, she leaned up, pursed her lips and closed her eyes. I was irretrievably lost. My arms gripped her roughly and I hauled her up to meet my parted lips. Mine, I thought wildly. She was MINE! A triumphant wave of masculine satisfaction pulled me under as I held my fiance' in my arms. Kissing her with a blazing passion mingled with breathtaking love, my mask impeded our intimate embrace. As I pulled it off with a growl of impatience, her arms flung around my neck and she returned my ardent kiss.
Drowning in her, I abruptly broke our contact and murmured hoarsely before claiming her lips again, "I love you....... Christine, I love you so!" Tasting her tears along with mine, I boldly upturned her chin to my unmasked face and kissed my bride-to-be in genuine reverence.
Nothing would ever part us again.
As she walked cautiously to me and inquired what I was playing, I knew a moment of profound, wistful longing. Staring at her, I had the abrupt thought that if she refused my offer of marriage, I would die without her. How could this young girl know that she held my life in her pretty, little hand? Exhaling sharply and continuing to devour her with my hungry eyes, I answered her inanely. The love I had for her staggered me to the depths of my soul and I literally shivered when her eyes met mine.
When Christine unexpectedly asked to remove my mask, I stared at her for a long time in disbelief. What.....why would she want to unmask me? Posing this question to her, I was hardly reassured by her reply that she did not know. Turning to face her fully, I took her hands in my own and even in my anguish, I reveled in her touch. In the back of my mind, I recalled the last time when she had taken my mask off and allowed me to kiss her. Still, the risk of her revulsion and disgust made me quake before her like a small boy. Gasping at her comment that she merely wished to see me, I suddenly stared down at the carpet at a complete loss. Why, in God's name, would she want to see me? A tumult of appalled thoughts churned through my mind and battled the instincts of an entire lifetime of solitude. What.....what if she needed to see me once more before committing her life to me? Pondering that question, my head lifted and I set my jaw in determination. I would do anything to keep her....anything to win the possibility of her love. Absolutely anything. Nodding once, I again cowardly shut my eyes to avoid seeing her inevitable aversion. Feeling her precious lips upon my hands in silent gratitude, I fought back a vicious wave of panic. Wanting nothing more than to get up and run, I forced myself to remain still and struggled with every innate urge to bolt.
As her fingers gently untied my mask, I broke out in a cold sweat. Surely when Christine's eyes fell once more on my horrible visage, she would need no more convincing. An intuitive sense told me that this cruel moment would somehow be the deciding factor. How I knew this, I cannot say, but I was certain of it. The cool air of the cellars felt foreign on my exposed cheek and I sat there silently dying. Having discarded my morphine into the underground lake the day I asked Christine to be my wife, I frantically thought that if she should leave me now, I would surely lose my thin clutch on sanity.
My ears were scalded with the sickening sound of her quick gasp and, saving the last vestiges of my pride, I turned my unmarred cheek to her. Damn it! I should have known better than to risk it again! My hands clenched into fists and my weak eyes threatened tears. Refusing to blubber like an infant in front of her, I took a deep breath and desperately tried to think of something to say. All I wanted was my mask......to just cover the raw, ugly part of me and spare her the hideousness.
I was aware of her touch upon my cheeks and I winced from the tender contact but did not meet her gaze since tears still burned my eyelids. Taking a shaky breath, I immediately exhaled in a rush of air as my dumbfounded gaze met her awed expression. What did she say? Positive that I had finally lost my mind and I was imagining this surreal moment, I stared at her stupefied. My confusion deepened as she smiled at my unmasked face and breathed "Erik........I love you!" The words swirled through my bewildered mind as I vainly attempted to comprehend her declaration.
Suddenly, as I looked upon at her expression, my dazed memory recalled the evening I had sat in Box Five and observed the young couple in the box across the auditorium. The woman had caressed her lover's handsome face and looked at me the way Christine was looking at me now. Impossible!
My limbs completely limp, she took my hands and held them securely. My heart was racing so fast that I distractedly hoped I would not have a heart attack. Thunderstruck, I slowly lifted my right hand to rub over my heart through my dress shirt. With a maidenly blush, I stared at her as my perplexed brain finally registered that she had asked me a question.
In my utter bafflement, I cleverly croaked, "What?"
Laughing girlishly, Christine nearly jumped in her excitement and I wondered fleetingly if it were she who had lost her mind. Holding my hand to her cheek, her lucid eyes sparkled as she whispered once again, "Erik, I said that I love you. Have.....have I displeased you?"
Looking around for a doubtful moment in extreme astonishment, my eyes met hers again and I almost forgot I wasn't wearing my mask. No one had ever said those words to me in my entire life. Even in my wildest fantasies, I had never expected Christine to actually LOVE me. No, I had hoped that I could persuade her to stay out of affection, perhaps, but never because she really loved me. No one could ever love me. My mother had told me so when I was a child.
A disgusting hope fought its way upward and burst through my amazement. With the patience of a saint, Christine explained with her hands still on my farce of a face, "Erik, I love you. I never realized how much until this very moment. I cannot imagine living without you now." My blurry gaze riveted to her dumbly, she smiled faintly and continued. The indisputable love in her beautiful eyes was almost too much for me to bear but I was paralyzed with shock. Stroking my face lightly, she breathed, "But I do love you.......and I would be......I would be honored to be your wife." Lowering her eyes shyly, she waited and I knew I had to say something, damn it, but I could not make myself function.
With extreme power of will, I raised my heavy arm to put my trembling hand on her cheek. Yes, she was real..... Swallowing hard, I frantically tried to put a suitable thought together but to my shame, my voice squeaked as I asked foolishly, "Does....does this mean you will stay, Christine?"
As though she understood my quandary, a surprising womanly smile of insight beautified her features. Nodding, she closed the gap between us and laid my marred cheek tenderly against her breast. "Yes, my....my Love. I will stay....always."
At her words, I gazed up at her incredulous and her shining eyes confirmed her words. An enormous relief washed over me like a cleansing baptism. Unwilling to have her witness my childish tears, I clutched her tightly about the waist and cried helplessly into her dress. She would stay....she would stay.......was all my foggy mind could comprehend. For many, many long minutes I sobbed quietly against her while her fingers tenderly combed through my hair. Her precious hands in my dark hair were exquisitely comforting and I eventually calmed.
As I blindly searched for a handkerchief in my trousers, Christine understandingly offered to make us some tea and promised to return swiftly. Nodding but not yet able to look at her, I mopped at my face and was grateful for a moment alone to recover. Silently, I admonished myself for my unmanly response. I should have kissed her passionately, as any other man would have done in such a situation! Sickened with my weakness, I reached to pick up my mask when it suddenly hit me. Christine had accepted to be my bride - while I was not masked! Holding the leather mask in my quivering hands, my heart overflowed with an intense joy that I had never known before. Tears filled my eyes once again but I stubbornly wiped at them before quickly replacing my mask. Taking deep breaths, I grappled with this overwhelming miracle as she came back into the drawing room. Setting the tea tray down on an end table, she looked at me compassionately. I had not moved from my bench since she had entered the room and as I made to stand up, she placed a gentle restraining hand on my shoulder. Looking up quizzically, she murmured, "Just a moment."
Christine knelt before me as I stared down at her mutely. Her gaze moved pointedly to my mask but she said nothing. Smiling softly, she leaned up, pursed her lips and closed her eyes. I was irretrievably lost. My arms gripped her roughly and I hauled her up to meet my parted lips. Mine, I thought wildly. She was MINE! A triumphant wave of masculine satisfaction pulled me under as I held my fiance' in my arms. Kissing her with a blazing passion mingled with breathtaking love, my mask impeded our intimate embrace. As I pulled it off with a growl of impatience, her arms flung around my neck and she returned my ardent kiss.
Drowning in her, I abruptly broke our contact and murmured hoarsely before claiming her lips again, "I love you....... Christine, I love you so!" Tasting her tears along with mine, I boldly upturned her chin to my unmasked face and kissed my bride-to-be in genuine reverence.
Nothing would ever part us again.