Servant By: OtakuSailorV

Chapter 21: Awakening

She could feel it, the howl as it ripped from her throat, making the dagger-like teeth in her snout tremble with the undulating force. There was something unnatural about it and she shivered, feeling as if she had been tucked away, forced to watch the carnage that was unfolding. It was like a nightmare she couldn't awake from; the whole world seemed painted red. Like a stranger watching the actions of an insane man, she felt just as numb and distant, unable to do anything but watch as the beast fed upon the screams. The same screams that echoed hollowly in her own ears, making her shiver as the tones of anguish and despair tore through her, gouging holes in her heart.

She was so tired, she was aching, despite the unknown power that seemed to be filling her with the energy to carry on. What was this, this power? It was tainted, though she could somehow tell that it was at one time pure. It seemed to whisper evilly, encouraging and coaxing, driving the creature that had awoken inside of her on and on with a sickening little laugh. She wanted to silence it, but she couldn't move. It was as if her limbs would no longer obey her; she could only watch from her gilded cage.

Fear, hatred, anguish, tears, all of them intertwined together to feed the tiny shreds of evil whispers. To think that something so tiny could be so evil…As she continued to listen to them and their cruel lies that seemed so much like the truth, she grew to hate herself. This body that would not obey her, that was slaughtering innocents without regret, that desired nothing but power. What right did she have to live now? She was really a monster, a demon…Her self-doubt and loathing only fed them though and the beast seemed as if it would never stop. Soon the village would be demolished and the killing would stop for a time, or so she tried to comfort herself. It couldn't go on much longer…

A mother and child were trampled underfoot and she cried out loudly, though her anguish was twisted into a roar of pleasure from deep inside of the beast. Something struck her flank and she wheeled about to face a male villager that that shot another arrow at the monster out of desperation. As the red gaze engulfed him he quaked and began to babble as he shot more arrows that bounced off harmlessly, not even dazing the slobbering creature. Yuhi tried to close her eyes, but she couldn't turn away as the man was torn to shreds for daring to strike the bloody-thirsty demon.

'Please, don't fight, run away,' she pleaded with the villagers, but they weren't listening and the beast would not hear of having its fun ended so soon.

She felt cold, alone, betrayed and a sickening form of despair clutched at her belly as she gave in and attempted to curl into a ball. She didn't want to believe that what was happening was actually happening, she wanted it all to go away. This couldn't be real, she would never do such a thing, never, this just couldn't be. Denial set in heavily and she began to whimper to herself pitifully.

Yuhi woke, clawing at her blanket and drenched in a cold sweat that was making her shiver. Her head was heavy, she felt like she hadn't slept at all and her breathing was irregular. With a jolt of pain she realized that she hurt terribly and the stench of blood was heavy in the air. Raising the blanket she drew a heaving breath at the sight of her bandaged body, realizing that she had not been having a nightmare after all. Her venture into the human village had been real and she had been very seriously wounded in several places. She winced as she touched the bandages, wondering who had dressed them and where exactly she was. She was lucky to have lived with such wounds; her quick-healing youkai blood was probably what had saved her in the end.

Lying back down, she let out a rattling sigh that shook her whole body and made her tremble again. Her hands were stained with blood. She was a murderer, a killer of innocents. She was now what the villagers had always claimed she would be, having been born of such a taboo pairing: a cold-blooded killer. She had given in to her youkai cravings and now she was heavy with guilt. Claws raked at the skin on her arms and she pulled her legs up until they pushed on her stomach painfully. Why had she survived? She, their killer, was the one that had lived and they; the innocents had all perished. It just wasn't fair. It should have been her instead of them.

"Hmph, so you're finally awake," Kagura's disdainful tone broke in on her self-loathing. "You've been out for about a week now."

Yuhi tried to sit up but found it painful, one of her sides stung terribly whenever she moved it. Guilt settled on her even more heavily along with a touch of astonished fear. So she was back in Naraku's castle, but why? He had sent her away, practically banished her and now she was back again? She couldn't understand him at all…

"I'm sorry," was all she could find to say. She cast her eyes toward the ground, too ashamed to look Kagura in the eyes.

"Tch, what are you sulking about?" Kagura asked gruffly. She was aware that Yuhi was sensitive to other's emotions, but she found she had no sympathy for the hanyou at the moment. She was envious of her freedom and irked by Naraku's odd temperaments since his return with the girl. He had been even more distant and vague than he had been before and it was driving her up a wall. Not only that, but she was the only one able to check in on Yuhi, Kanna and Kohaku were being kept busy with some stupid task that Kagura couldn't care less about.

Yuhi grew still at her probing question, hearing once again the dying screams of the poor villagers. She looked at one of her hands, the blood had been cleaned even from underneath her nails, there was no sign of her horrible crime any longer. Her eyes softened and seemed to glisten. "I killed children…" she said in a low tone.

Kagura sniffed at her again, finding Yuhi's innocence idiotic. There were wars being waged, humans were dying every day fighting each other and she felt guilty because of a little rampage? That was nothing compared to her full-blooded brethren, they fought and killed every day, it was a matter of survival. That's how their world worked. Kill or be killed. "They would have died sooner or later anyway."

"I killed innocent people…defenseless humans…they didn't even provoke me into battle…I just…killed…" Yuhi continued to stare at her clawed hand, as if mesmerized by it.

"It's natural for youkai to kill."

"I am not youkai."

Kagura looked at her in irritated curiosity. She had figured Yuhi would react this way, but she wasn't one to console others and Yuhi's dismal attitude was beginning to make her even more irritable. She just could not understand the girls problem, maybe Yuhi was stupid…"Well, if you're going to sit here and sulk all day, go ahead. Naraku just sent me to find out if you were awake yet."

Yuhi stiffened and paused for a moment, listening carefully to Kagura's retreating steps. "…Naraku-dono…?"

Kagura raised her eyebrows, staring at Yuhi dully, uninterested. "Yes, he's the one that brought you back here."

With that Kagura was gone and after a moment Yuhi looked back at her palm again. 'Why…?'

Naraku had been held up in his quarters ever since he had returned with Yuhi. Brooding, spilling forth wave after wave of miasma as he sat and stared at the walls in the dark. The human servants and guards had all perished long ago and the power of his poisons was even starting to stifle the demons that lurked about in the castle. He was angry, seething at his defeat. Why did his plans always go so wrong? How could this have happened? And the girl…he couldn't deny she was a weakness for him, but what course of action could he take now? There was only one, to force her to stay by him so that he could protect this weakness from his enemies. Inuyasha would not use her against him, no; the fool was too weak at heart. Sesshoumaru though, yes, Sesshoumaru would use the girl against him without even blinking.

He would not admit it, but the hanyou child had somehow attached herself to him and despite his best efforts, he could find no way to loosen her ties to him. Was he falling into the same trap as Onigumo? Letting this hanyou girl stay by his side, allowing this woman to ensnare him with her innocence? He scoffed at himself and shifted in his seat, tracing a design lazily in the miasma-filled air. No, he would not allow it to go that far. Or had it gone that far already? Just the fact that she was now even the slightest bit of a weakness for him proved he was wrong.

Was he beginning to experience what those humans dubbed so whimsically as 'love' and 'affection?' He scoffed again, but in the darkest corners of his conscious mind, Onigumo chuckled like a maniac to himself. Naraku silenced him sharply, narrowing his eyes in distaste. He would consult Onigumo on these things later, but he would not have the fool scorning him.

Kagura stepped into the room without even bothering to announce herself, as usual. He turned his neck sharply to face her, staring her down with a piercing glare. His red orbs seemed to glow and pulsate in the gloom of the room.

"She's awake," Kagura said, acting indifferent to his attitude. What was his problem now? He was sulking like a child…

"Good," he drawled in reply, fixing his gaze on the shouji doors to his left. Through the wood and paper slats he could vaguely make out the shape of mountains. "Make sure she is comfortable, she will be staying with us."

One of Kagura's eyebrows rose. Oh-ho? Was the old man finally showing some sort of weakness? Just as the thought crossed her mind though, his red eyes fixed on her once more and a cold smirk formed. He was warning her…so, she had suspected correctly after all…

"Hm," was her only reply before she disappeared again.

Yuhi's eyes roamed about the room dully, her hands lay still in her lap. What was she supposed to do? She was afraid to sleep again; the previous nightmare had left her an insomniac anyway. There was no way she could have slept even if she wanted to. The echoes of screams seemed to still be in the air, reverberating off the walls of the room and crashing into her ears relentlessly. A cold shiver ran down her spine and she tensed, clutching the blanket in her claws with a tiny gasp.

Getting to her feet, she walked over to the door to her room and opened it, stepping outside to get her bearings. To her confusion, she was in a part of the castle that she barely recognized. She knew she had been here in this hallway before, but she was not sure what part of the castle she was in. It suddenly struck her that she was in a section of Naraku's quarters. She had only been this way a few times and even then the miasma and the many foreign youkai scents that lingered in the hallways had frightened her. Now it was just the miasma, heavy as smoke and clouding her vision, making her head swim.

She shivered again, having come to fear Naraku after his attack on her. And yet he had saved her twice now…She shook her head, too confused in both heart and mind to deal with such issues at the moment. For the moment she just wanted to get away, being surrounded by so much miasma seemed to stir her bad memories. Gin and Kai had died in this place…it was eerie, how very quiet it was in the castle…

Her foot nudged something as she walked along and she became confused by the scratching noise that rose from the floorboards. It felt like a stick and some kind of rag…Looking down, she flinched away at the skeletal remains of a guard that were sprawled about the floor. The majority of the skeleton was sitting against the wall, but the legs were spread out into the hall, blocking her path. She hadn't even noticed it before…

With a sick feeling welling up in her stomach and a pounding heart in her ears, she pulled open the first door she came too, wondering if she could somehow find a shortcut to the outside balconies. Instead a pair of red eyes gleamed out from the darkness, taking her utterly by surprise. She froze, staring back into the crimson orbs until she recognized the owner, pale against the darkness of the room in his favorite corner.

'Naraku-dono…' Yuhi felt petrified under that gaze and she bowed jerkily, never letting her eyes leave his.

"G-gomen nasai, Naraku-dono, I didn't know you were in here," she said and began to shut the door again. Her heart was pounding and she knew her cheeks must be as red as his eyes. She couldn't suppress the memory of what had happened in the hollow.

Naraku did not reply, simply sitting there the entire time in silence as she slid the door shut and hurried back to the room she had woken up in.

Been a long, long time, hasn't it? Whew, I meant to get this out during Christmas Break, but I kept putting it off and putting it off and suddenly I was leaving for Memphis and when I got back it was right into school again….sigh

Anyway, long weekend, so I'm finally updating stuff. w00t!

I'd give a longer Author's Note, but there is much to do and little time to do it in. Gomen nasai!

Review Please?